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Relationships after trauma

Johnnz

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Carefully and initially tentatively and anxiously. A really safe person will help you build trust one tiny step at a time. the hard part can often be finding one. But one-on-one is probably the most likely way for you to begin. But it is worth doing it. There are lovely people out there, so different from the ones that you have had in your life.

John
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Kristen.NewCreation

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I've found there to be levels of relationships.

  • Aquaintances
  • Activity oriented aquaintances or friend - we only get together to do something like go to a movie.
  • General Friends - we talk about things, but nothing very personal, but similar interests, similar spiritual beliefs, etc.
  • Supportive Friends - Some have this some don't - these are the people who we call on to get help, but not necessarily about trauma. Maybe more of the emotional stuff - anxiety, depression, financial, etc. They may be great at providing encouragement or even helping us get in contact with those who can meet some of our needs.
  • Close friends - Those few (and they are few) that I might trust to talk to about some of the lighter issues of my trauma AFTER they have passed my confidentiality and sensitivity tests. By that I mean trying them out on something benign, that I really don't care if others learn about.
  • Closer Friends - Ones I know i can count on when I'm not doing good.
  • Best Friend - The one I can talk to about anything
  • Love Interest - This is the person that I find my self having attraction issues to/thoughts of lifelong time together, etc.

Early on after getting out of my trauma situation, I trusted no one, and only had aquaintances and activitiy oriented aquaintances. As time has grown, I've definitely added the rest of the list except love interest. That one I"m waiting on God to knock me over because I'm really not interested at this point in my life. Not because I'm afraid at this time so much, but more because I've been set in my ways a while now. :)
 
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