Reconciliation

[vrunca]

Hi everyone!!!

I am writting a letter to some parents of very young children who will be making their First Reconciliation in a few months. Well, with this group, I am having a hard time getting the parents to work with their kids at home on their prayers....(which makes me kind of crazy !!) But, I need to get across to the parents how important it is for them to pray with their children. At the same time, I am trying to convey to them the importance of the teaching of the Act of Contrition, that the children must know it....but also they need to understand what they are saying when they make a real Act of Contrition. And I need to do this without saying things like "Where are your heads!!! Why are you not praying with your children at home!!! And why do your children not understand what the Act of Contrition is...do you??" (wow, that kind of felt good to get off my chest!) I have to do this in just a loving and informative way.

But I have been sitting staring at my computer screen trying to put it in words that are kind and charitable. HELP!! Any ideas of how I can explain the importance and the meaning of the Act of Contrition to parents?

 

[Davidnic]

Hmmm....John Paul II wrote this, it may help (I bolded some favorite parts and the last two parts are good). But I figure this is what you are trying to get across. So maybe a short quote from this, the part in read might be good :

Family Prayer

59. The Church prays for the Christian family and educates the family to live in generous accord with the priestly gift and role received from Christ the High Priest. In effect, the baptismal priesthood of the faithful, exercised in the sacrament of marriage, constitutes the basis of a priestly vocation and mission for the spouses and family by which their daily lives are transformed into "spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."(149)

This transformation is achieved not only by celebrating the Eucharist and the other sacraments and through offering themselves to the glory of God, but also through a life of prayer, through prayerful dialogue with the Father, through Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit.

Family prayer has its own characteristic qualities. It is prayer offered in common, husband and wife together, parents and children together. Communion in prayer is both a consequence of and a requirement for the communion bestowed by the sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony. The words with which the Lord Jesus promises His presence can be applied to the members of the Christian family in a special way: "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them."(150)

Family prayer has for its very own object family life itself, which in all its varying circumstances is seen as a call from God and lived as a filial response to His call. Joys and sorrows, hopes and disappointments, births and birthday celebrations, wedding anniversaries of the parents, departures, separations and homecomings, important and far-reaching decisions, the death of those who are dear, etc.-all of these mark God's loving intervention in the family's history.

They should be seen as suitable moments for thanksgiving, for petition, for trusting abandonment of the family into the hands of their common Father in heaven. The dignity and responsibility of the Christian family as the domestic Church can be achieved only with God's unceasing aid, which will surely be granted if it is humbly and trustingly petitioned in prayer.


60. By reason of their dignity and mission, Christian parents have the specific responsibility of educating their children in prayer, introducing them to gradual discovery of the mystery of God and to personal dialogue with him: "It is particularly in the Christian family, enriched by the grace and the office of the sacrament of matrimony, that from the earliest years children should be taught, according to the faith received in baptism, to have a knowledge of God, to worship him and to love their neighbor."[151]

The concrete example and living witness of parents is fundamental and irreplaceable in educating their children to pray. Only by praying together with their children can a father and mother--exercising their royal priesthood--penetrate the innermost depths of their children's hearts and leave an impression that the future events in their lives will not be able to efface.

Let us again listen to the appeal made by Paul VI to parents: "Mothers, do you teach your children the Christian prayers? Do you prepare them, in conjunction with the priests, for the sacraments that they receive when they are young: confession, communion and confirmation? Do you encourage them when they are sick to think of Christ suffering, to invoke the aid of the Blessed Virgin and the saints? Do you say the family rosary together?

And you, fathers, do you pray with your children, with the whole domestic community, at least sometimes? Your example of honesty in thought and action, joined to some common prayer, is a lesson for life, an act of worship of singular value. In this way you bring peace to your homes: Par huic domui. Remember, it is thus that you build up the church."[152]


Apostolic Exhortation
Familiarias Consortio
On the Christian Family in the Modern World (link)

 

[AMDG]

When my children were in CCD, their teacher would send home notes about the prayers she expected the children to learn. (And sometimes the prayers would be the longer, traditional version--not the modern.) Some parents acted on their duty as "First Teachers to their children", while some obviously did not, since the priest hearing the children's first confessions complained bitterly that some children did not know their prayers. (Great first impression for the poor children! Not even able to say the prayers when asked. Wonder if mom and dad really knew that just might happen without their support of helping their child learn the prayers.)

:::Just a short little story about our family helping our children learn their prayers. With every new prayer introduced, it would temporarily be added to night prayers and even our prayers before meals until our children knew the prayers. (This may not be lead to a theologically correct way of offering prayer, but it gets the learning a prayer done because of the repetition, and as we all know, "first comes doing, then comes understanding".) Unfortunately, I forgot to let our little ones know that this practice was fine only for our house because we understood the whys and wherefores. We were going to have dinner at my husband's Southern Baptist relatives, when my eight year old was asked to say the blessing. Proud to be asked, I heard her intone "Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee. And I detest..." :o Oh well...:::

So much for that. When I taught CCD, I'd make up a chart for the children "testing" them at regular intervals. When the child could recite the prayer, he or she would get a star. I also enlisted my daughters to help me coach the prayers with the children that needed more help while I continued on with the class. I know one daughter would have the words of the prayers put on "tongue depressers" and have the child put the sticks in order to "learn" how to say the prayer.

In my present parish, the Religious Director has initiated a ribbon award system which is based on grade level. If the child knows certain groups of prayers, he or she gets an award of a certain color ribbon. And relying on the idea that parents want to feel proud of the accomplishments of their children, and that children want to please their parents, it seems to work.

I feel that I need to repeat, it is understood that none of this has to do with theological reasoning, but sometimes action comes before proper understanding. Once the prayer is known, then the meanings are attached and there is hopefully, heartfelt prayer where the one doing the praying doesn't have to search for words--it can be just a mattter of turning ones heart and mind to God (theologically correct words have been provided). IOW and IMO it seems that learning a prayer recquires two stages 1) the words and then 2) the meaning.

Also in my parish, the priest leaves "cheat sheets" with the words to all four different Acts of Contrition (from the traditional to the modern) in the Reconciliation Rooms. The "cheat sheets" are mainly for the adults.

 

[Sandlapper277]

Thank you to whoever came up with the cheat sheets.

In all honesty, I never have used the long, traditional act of contrition, mainly becasue I don't want to take up any more of Father's time than I have to. I've always used either, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner." or "Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy and Immortal, have mercy on me."

Nutshell: I don't see the harm in teaching the chilldren one of the shorter forms, and letting them pick up the longer versions when they are older.

 

[plmarquette]

basically 1 John 1.8 -9 & Romans 10.8-10

 

[Davidnic]

Thank you to whoever came up with the cheat sheets.

In all honesty, I never have used the long, traditional act of contrition, mainly becasue I don't want to take up any more of Father's time than I have to. I've always used either, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner." or "Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy and Immortal, have mercy on me."

Nutshell: I don't see the harm in teaching the chilldren one of the shorter forms, and letting them pick up the longer versions when they are older.

I can see that. Confession is a relationship, a beautiful sacrament that many can have a problem with because of our human pride and fear. If as children we are comfortable with it, and realize the healing the Lord brings us through it...that is the point. That our hearts be in the Sacraments. If a young child is having trouble memorizing a long prayer, the short heart of the prayer. In this case, "I've sinned, I love you God, have mercy on me." They can start there. And if that is what they carry through life, a love of the Lord and seek His healing in the Sacraments...what more do we ask in that respect.

Oh, and welcome to OBOB and CF. It's a big place all in all, if you have any questions just ask. And again, welcome.

 

[Sandlapper277]

Oh, and welcome to OBOB and CF. It's a big place all in all, if you have any questions just ask. And again, welcome.

This place is big and confusing. And so many features I'm not sure what any of them much does. But it's also the second or third place that wasn't totally catholic that didn't ban me on sight for being Catholic. And, you, some sort of ecumenical supervisor, whatever that is, overal makes it seem to be an ecumenical forum that accepts Catholics. A true rarity.

 

[kamikat]

T I've always used either, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner." or "Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy and Immortal, have mercy on me."
.

Wow! I didn't know Catholics used those prayers. Are you an Eastern Catholic?

kamikat

 

[Davidnic]

This place is big and confusing. And so many features I'm not sure what any of them much does. But it's also the second or third place that wasn't totally catholic that didn't ban me on sight for being Catholic. And, you, some sort of ecumenical supervisor, whatever that is, overal makes it seem to be an ecumenical forum that accepts Catholics. A true rarity.

Yep. Sometimes there is tension in some debates, bu that is in the debate area. But here in OBOB (our congregation forum) non-Catholics can not debate Catholics (no one can debate a congregation in their forum unless they are of that group, just fellowship and honest questions). Debate belongs elsewhere. Here is a place to rest and fellowship and we answer honest well meaning questions and try to grow in understanding of each other. Each congregation has their own area. Then there are all of the interest areas and the debate areas. Also deeper fellowship where we just meet to get to know each other.

As far as what I am, I am a supervisor on the ecumenical team. The Catholics on this team take care of OBOB (One Bread One Body).

Like all places we have bumps, but we hope to do our part to grow together in understanding. But man, it can take a while to look around the whole place

 

[Sandlapper277]

Wow! I didn't know Catholics used those prayers. Are you an Eastern Catholic?

kamikat

Unforunately, there's not an eastern Catholic parish in the entire state. I love the liturgy, so every so often I make myself get out of bed on Sunday morning and go to liturgy at the GO parish downtown.

 

[Davidnic]

Wow! I didn't know Catholics used those prayers. Are you an Eastern Catholic?

kamikat

I use them too and I'm Latin Rite. I have them in my "New St. Josephs" prayer book.

 

[Sandlapper277]

Yep. Sometimes there is tension in some debates, bu that is in the debate area. But here in OBOB (our congregation forum) non-Catholics can not debate Catholics (no one can debate a congregation in their forum unless they are of that group, just fellowship and honest questions). Debate belongs elsewhere. Here is a place to rest and fellowship and we answer honest well meaning questions and try to grow in understanding of each other. Each congregation has their own area. Then there are all of the interest areas and the debate areas. Also deeper fellowship where we just meet to get to know each other.

As far as what I am, I am a supervisor on the ecumenical team. The Catholics on this team take care of OBOB (One Bread One Body).

Like all places we have bumps, but we hope to do our part to grow together in understanding. But man, it can take a while to look around the whole place

Thank you for the welcome and orientation. I think I'll keep my head down a little, I hate arguing with folks.