Quiting the Church (but are you really quitting?)

[ArmyMatt]

it's still best to stay in the Orthodox Church, whether or not a change of locale will help

 

[Gxg (G²)]

I actually didn't want to make this entire thread about MY problems but to identify with others who have experienced them and find some answers to dealing with my negative feelings towards the Parish and the Jurisdiction I am a part of. Let me clarify what I meant by "attacks" and what I did not mean.

It isn't so much being attacked by earthly person within the church (although it happened), its being attacked by a demon (whose arms are long) and can reach me in one city or another.
.

To be clear, I caught what you noted earlier when it seemed you were seeking to relate with others who've gone through the same - so my apologies if it did not come off as if I understood that. Discussing your struggles was not the main focus - as it was bridge/spring board for offering others the chance to connect or give the proverbial "I feel ya."

Also, I get the aspect of it being more so spiritual than physical - and thus, if it's a spiritual issue, all the more reason why the Desert Fathers or other Early Church Fathers are highly relevant in the ways they went about it since they knew that battle more than any of us.

I saw the snares that the enemy spreads out over the world and i said groaning, "What can get through such snares?" Then I heard a voice saying to me, "Humiity." ~Saint Anthony the Great.

After praying that God would take away his passions that he might become free from care, Abba John the Dwarf went and told an old man; 'I find myself in peace, without an enemy,' he said. The old man said to him, 'Go beseech God to stir up warfare so that you may regain the affliction and humility that you used to have, for it is by warfare that the soul makes progress.' So he sought God and when warfare came, he no longer prayed that it might be taken away, but said 'Lord, give me the strength for the fight.' ~ Abba Poemanhttp://books.google.com/books?id=go...on and humility that you used to have&f=false
​

What I said was in the context of spiritual warfare - be it with people operating under spiritual influence in the negative (i.e. bad attitudes via the demonic or deception, etc.) or with oneself when it comes to perception

I have a story for you:

Lovely story as it concerns the reality of perspective...

The point is: Sure, I can/could abandon my parents, grandparents, my excellent job, and everything I know. Abandon it so that I can find the next group of people won't take me in fully, accept me despite having different colored eyes or hair, welcome me as "brother", refuse to marry me, refuse to kiss me/shake my hand on forgiveness Sunday, ask me why I bother to participate in the festival because I am not the right color, and on and on and on...

All the these things, essentially Christ dealt with. It's easy for me to say this is the Church that taught me to hate. Its difficult to overcome the prejudice that has honestly built in me to the point where I smile and am congenial outwardly, but internally harbor extremely prejudice views.

The bottom line is, I feel this intense urge to simply follow what a certain orthodox person told me to do. To go back to my own kind. I made a very profound sacrifice a while back to remain Orthodox, and this is what I apparently sacrificed for

Perhaps I'm missing it - but when you speak of returning to your own kind (as well as noting issues with eye color and skin color as a basis for you not being welcomed by others), are you speaking of issues pertaining to Ethnic focus within parishes that bother you? It seemed the main thing that seemed to be messing with you and making you not feel welcomed was based on issues akin to prejudice - and to be clear, I hope what I said does not come off the wrong way. I know other Orthodox have noted that sometimes the ethnic focus some parishes have has led to others feeling excluded - and there have been other discussions on the matter before....as discussed in the thread entitled Bigotry and Racism here, Tired of Being Asked "Are You Greek/Russian", Blacks, Racism & Russia: Does anyone know what Russian Orthodoxy has said on this?, here, here and here in threads such as #7 ).

I would not feel comfortable being somewhere if I was constantly told "Thank Goodness you're not like other Blacks!" (as I've experienced before) because I happened to be articulate and not fitting stereotypes others had ignorantly - but in Churches where that was the case, I was glad to know that I did not need to let the Enemy use others to mess with my mind when I knew who I was in Christ and what should be done.

 

[Evangelos]

To be clear, I caught what you noted earlier when it seemed you were seeking to relate with others who've gone through the same - so my apologies if it did not come off as if I understood that. Discussing your struggles was not the main focus - as it was bridge/spring board for offering others the chance to connect or give the proverbial "I feel ya."

Also, I get the aspect of it being more so spiritual than physical - and thus, if it's a spiritual issue, all the more reason why the Desert Fathers or other Early Church Fathers are highly relevant in the ways they went about it since they knew that battle more than any of us.

I saw the snares that the enemy spreads out over the world and i said groaning, "What can get through such snares?" Then I heard a voice saying to me, "Humiity." ~Saint Anthony the Great.

After praying that God would take away his passions that he might become free from care, Abba John the Dwarf went and told an old man; 'I find myself in peace, without an enemy,' he said. The old man said to him, 'Go beseech God to stir up warfare so that you may regain the affliction and humility that you used to have, for it is by warfare that the soul makes progress.' So he sought God and when warfare came, he no longer prayed that it might be taken away, but said 'Lord, give me the strength for the fight.' ~ Abba Poemanhttp://books.google.com/books?id=go...on and humility that you used to have&f=false
​

What I said was in the context of spiritual warfare - be it with people operating under spiritual influence in the negative (i.e. bad attitudes via the demonic or deception, etc.) or with oneself when it comes to perception
Lovely story as it concerns the reality of perspective...

Perhaps I'm missing it - but when you speak of returning to your own kind (as well as noting issues with eye color and skin color as a basis for you not being welcomed by others), are you speaking of issues pertaining to Ethnic focus within parishes that bother you? It seemed the main thing that seemed to be messing with you and making you not feel welcomed was based on issues akin to prejudice - and to be clear, I hope what I said does not come off the wrong way. I know other Orthodox have noted that sometimes the ethnic focus some parishes have has led to others feeling excluded - and there have been other discussions on the matter before....as discussed in the thread entitled Bigotry and Racism here, Tired of Being Asked "Are You Greek/Russian", here, here and here in threads such as #7 ).

I would not feel comfortable being somewhere if I was constantly told "Thank Goodness you're not like other Blacks!" (as I've experienced before) because I happened to be articulate and not fitting stereotypes others had ignorantly - but in Churches where that was the case, I was glad to know that I did not need to let the Enemy use others to mess with my mind when I knew who I was in Christ and what should be done.

There's always going to be nether-apes/evolutionary dead ends who marry their cousins and are darn proud of it. But hey, they invented democracy, Pizza, the golden ratio, trigonometry, frappe coffee, the internet and homos.

Racism and all that really isn't the issue here, its my perception of God's grace and my impatience. Sure I'd love to scoot but I have unfinished business where I am.

The whole thing really gives me a lot of pretense to cut the rope with them and I find that darn amusing. But I'm sure they will miss me around the time they need me lend my talents or treasures or time to church. Then I'm suddenly an honorary greek. Never appeal to a persons generosity, always to their own self interest. That's really the lesson I've learned.

The bottom line is I've passed the Rubicon of giving a damn about the whole thing and life is really interesting when you begin to abandon the rigid rules that governed you and force yourself to hold the opposite opinion. I still have Christ and maybe the isolation would be beneficial for a time.