Protestants and marriage

[TheGMan]

I suppose, according to the rules, I count as a non-Christian. So I suppose I'm allowed to ask questions here. And so, in the spirit of genuine inquiry, I shall.

I'm curious about what Protestant denominations think happens when you get married. Or to be more specific, what is the non-sacramental understanding of marriage - I accept that there are Protestants who believe in the sacrament of matrimony. Apologies, but if you are one, the question isn't really directed at you.

But plenty of non-sacramental Protestants seem to be very exercised about defending institution of marriage. But, if it isn't sacramental, isn't it fundamentally a secular institution?

Why is important that couples are married rather than simply faithful and committed? What happens when two people get married? What changes? Why does it matter to G-d?

 

[ChristianT]

I think I believe marriage is sacramental, but for those who aren't, perhaps people should get married to control their passions:

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" 1 Corinthians 7:9

what are the general beliefs of "non-sacramental Protestants?"

 

[hedrick]

I'm not sure there's that much difference. Marriage for Protestants is the same kind of commitment I think, and of course the two still become one flesh. It's not a sacrament for what I'd call technical reasons. Sacraments are visible signs of a spiritual reality. So e.g. in baptism water isn't the point. It's a symbol for what's really happening. Marriage is considered non-sacramental simply because it is itself and not primarily a sign of something else. I'm not sure we really disagree about what it is.

 

[Publius]

But plenty of non-sacramental Protestants seem to be very exercised about defending institution of marriage. But, if it isn't sacramental, isn't it fundamentally a secular institution?

Just the opposite: it's a covenant before God by which two people become one flesh for the purpose of illustrating Christ's relationship to the Church.

Why is important that couples are married rather than simply faithful and committed? What happens when two people get married? What changes? Why does it matter to G-d?

Because the Bible doesn't descibe Christ as being "faithful and committed" to the Church, but as the Bridegroom of the Church.

 

[Sketcher]

As a non-denominational Protestant, I believe:

- Marriage was created by God.

- It's between one man and one woman, for life.

- It is special and to be esteemed.

- Cohabitation is not a substitute for marriage.

- The ideal for marriage is for it to mirror Christ and the church.

What else would you like to know?

 

[TheGMan]

Thanks. That's helpful everyone.

I think, by sacramental, what I really mean is something where the Spirit somehow "gets involved" when two people are married to each other to bring about an ontological change in them. Married people are invisibly different in a way that baptised or ordained people are. That's a really bad paraphrase of sacramental theology, I do realise.

I think on reflection, the sacramental distinction may be a red herring. Let's set it aside for now.

Just the opposite: it's a covenant before God by which two people become one flesh for the purpose of illustrating Christ's relationship to the Church.

Thanks. I think this is the kind of theology of marriage that I want to understand.

What happens when two people enter into (for want of a better word) a marriage in a civil registry office - i.e. one which is not before G-d nor for the purpose of illustrating Christ's relationship to the Church. Are they actually married at all?

 

[hedrick]

Thanks. That's helpful everyone.

I think, by sacramental, what I really mean is something where the Spirit somehow "gets involved" when two people are married to each other to bring about an ontological change in them. Married people are invisibly different in a way that baptised or ordained people are. That's a really bad paraphrase of sacramental theology, I do realise.

I think on reflection, the sacramental distinction may be a red herring. Let's set it aside for now.


Thanks. I think this is the kind of theology of marriage that I want to understand.

What happens when two people enter into (for want of a better word) a marriage in a civil registry office - i.e. one which is not before G-d nor for the purpose of illustrating Christ's relationship to the Church. Are they actually married at all?

I think they're married. Marriage is an institution created by God. They leave their parents and become one flesh. But there are parts of it that non-Christians normally don't experience or don't experience as fully.

 

[Sketcher]

What happens when two people enter into (for want of a better word) a marriage in a civil registry office - i.e. one which is not before G-d nor for the purpose of illustrating Christ's relationship to the Church. Are they actually married at all?

Assuming they are both Biblically single, I don't see why not. Consider 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. These are instructions to converts who were already married. Paul recognized those marriages, which probably had nothing to do with the one true God when they began, as marriages.

 

[TheGMan]

Thanks everyone for bearing with me.

What I'm struggling with is this:

Let's say there are two committed, faithful (to each other) but non-Christian couples. One of these couples has been to the registry office and have a marriage certificate. The other couple hasn't and doesn't. What is the difference between the two?

It just seems very strange that G-d should find a bit of paper from the government so important.

 

[Sketcher]

Thanks everyone for bearing with me.

What I'm struggling with is this:

Let's say there are two committed, faithful (to each other) but non-Christian couples. One of these couples has been to the registry office and have a marriage certificate. The other couple hasn't and doesn't. What is the difference between the two?

It just seems very strange that G-d should find a bit of paper from the government so important.

The couple who went to the registry office put their money where their mouths are concerning the commitment. Faith without works is dead - meaning that if you believe something enough, you will take action based on it. If you believe a chair will hold your weight, you make your faith in the chair complete by sitting in it. If someone dares not sit down in the chair when challenged to do so, then that shows that his faith doesn't pass muster. Similarly with a single man and a single woman, if they are committed, they should prove their commitment by signing the papers. If any couple, Christian or not, doesn't want to get married, then I have reason to question their commitment.

 

[hedrick]

Thanks everyone for bearing with me.

What I'm struggling with is this:

Let's say there are two committed, faithful (to each other) but non-Christian couples. One of these couples has been to the registry office and have a marriage certificate. The other couple hasn't and doesn't. What is the difference between the two?

It just seems very strange that G-d should find a bit of paper from the government so important.

I agree with Sketcher than when marriage is a legal institution we should use it. However marriage is really something that happens between the two people and God. God knows when the commitment is there. But at least in the US, except in unusual circumstances there is no reason not to get married officially, so I can't help wondering about the commitment of someone who hasn't taken that step.

 

[lucaspa]

I suppose, according to the rules, I count as a non-Christian.

According to the foundational creeds of Christianity -- the Nicene and Apostle's creeds -- if you do not believe in Trinity you are not Christian. You may say you are a follower of Christ, but not Christian. Christianity requires a belief in Trinity.

I'm curious about what Protestant denominations think happens when you get married. Or to be more specific, what is the non-sacramental understanding of marriage - I accept that there are Protestants who believe in the sacrament of matrimony. Apologies, but if you are one, the question isn't really directed at you.

The United Methodist Church as only 2 sacraments: baptism and communion. Marriage is not a sacrament. It is not an "outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible grace".

Marriage is an outward and visible sign of "faithful and committed". It's a public announcement of a private decision between 2 people.
"We affirm the sanctity of the marriage covenant that is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and shared fidelity between a man and a woman. We believe that God's blessing rests upon such marriage, whether or not there are children of the union. We reject social norms that assume different standards for women than for men in marriage. " Marriage

 

[lucaspa]

Let's say there are two committed, faithful (to each other) but non-Christian couples. One of these couples has been to the registry office and have a marriage certificate. The other couple hasn't and doesn't. What is the difference between the two?

It just seems very strange that G-d should find a bit of paper from the government so important.

Maybe He doesn't. However, I guess we should ask: why does the second couple decline to make their relationship public? Is there some reservation there that, if they do not make it public, then it is easier to break the commitment, and that is something one or both of them wants?

Maybe God does bless marriages simply because of the extra courage and sign of committment to tell the world of the committment by the public nature of marriage.