Poll question for those who converted after marriage

[Kristos]

Sooo - looks like we have 6 who were crowned after and 2 who were not. Not enough data to make a conclusion, but it certainly would seem that within this forum the rate of crowning is fairly high compared to not crowning.

The terminology is bit a fuzzy too. Having a marriage blessed in several experiences was accomplished using the crowning service. Some have indicated that there were no crowns at their blessing, so what exactly was done I wonder? I poked around and couldn't find anything even quasi-official for a special the "marriage blessing" service. I think in all cases the betrothal service was skipped - correct if wrong.

 

[Kristos]

40-50% of childbirths today are to single mothers, when you look at the byzantine marriage contracts, it becomes apparent that most commoners married in what today is considered their teenage years. There was no 50% illegitimacy rate.

Most likely we just want to justify our behaviors when we justify pre marital conduct. . Any MiddleEastern Christian will tell you that what goes on in the christian West in terms of dating and relationships doesn't go on there.

Now aside from that tangent, my point is our marriage service never took into account the situation we face today. When we begin to uncover the nuances and meanings behind the various prayers in the service, its even more apparent that crowning a couple that has already had children and living together for years before their conversion is nonsensical. You have to delete and reinterpret alot in the text.

Another tangent, but once attended a marriage (GOARCH) of an older couple (in their late 50s) and the priest omitted the prayers related to childbearing. On one hand this seemed to fit the situation, but on another, altering the service doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe there is an approved alternate text that I am not aware of...

 

[ArmyMatt]

For my own self, the biggest advantage I would see is the possibility of my husband coming to value the Orthodox mindset regarding marriage.

But I certainly feel no "less married".

sounds like a good advantage, I must say