Poll question for those who converted after marriage

[gzt]

And converted with their spouse: when you converted, were you then crowned (ie married)? Were you crowned at the baptism, or later (if so, when)? Please report jurisdiction whether or not this occurred.

If you did not convert after marriage, you can comment on what you've seen in your parish or something, but don't answer the poll.

As a note, the written OCA policy is not to re-marry after conversion. I'm not particularly interested in discussing, in this thread, the reasoning, but feel free to speculate on another.

 

[buzuxi02]

I heard the goarch may have a crowning service only for those married converts seeking ordination . Perhaps to cover some canonical legalisms.

Personally I think having a wedding service for couples that convert as nonsense. The service is simply not written for newly converted couples, making it nonsensical and incoherent. The marriage service presupposes cradle christians in good standing who are young and have no children yet. Even the crowning ritual is more to honor the couple for looking to create that undefiled marriage bed. The reason the crowning takes place immediately after the betrothal is the presumption that maintaining virginity for a long period of time after the betrothal is to difficult. Hence second marriages the crowning is done away with as it no longer serves a purpose.

 

[gzt]

I agree with you (and thus iwth OCA guidelines). But, if it is to be done, to be consistent, it seems like it needs to be done at the baptism. Otherwise, what are they doing?!

 

[ArmyMatt]

while I was married after converting (to a cradle), I have seen a couple at the Antiochian church where I went get crowned basically just after their reception into the faith. more of a blessing of the couple and a reminder of their martyrdom to each other.

 

[rusmeister]

Since I moved to Russia right after my own conversion (several years behind my wife), we were crowned immediately.

 

[gzt]

Since I moved to Russia right after my own conversion (several years behind my wife), we were crowned immediately.

Could you clarify this a little? So you and your wife were married, and then some time later your wife converted, and then several years later you converted to Orthodoxy, at which point the pair of you were immediately crowned? And which jurisdiction was this (this is really the important bit)?

 

[xenia]

Forty years ago my husband and I had a crummy secular wedding if you can even call it that with a rent-a-pastor. No family or friends. The marriage was great but the wedding was a joke. Our church crowning 35 years later was extremely meaningful to us.

 

[gzt]

Was that at the point that you both converted? And if so, what jurisdiction?

 

[xenia]

Gzt, no, it was a few years later. The priest of the parish we were members of at that time felt that he should get all us uncrowned folks crowned. That parish is GOARCH.

 

[buzuxi02]

More importantly what exactly is prayed in this shortened crowning service?

 

[rusmeister]

Could you clarify this a little? So you and your wife were married, and then some time later your wife converted, and then several years later you converted to Orthodoxy, at which point the pair of you were immediately crowned? And which jurisdiction was this (this is really the important bit)?

The Moscow Patriarchate.
And yep, that's the summary. We had been living on the Left Coast, the land of fruits, nuts and flakes. She had taken the kids (we had 2 at the time) to Russia a few months earlier and it was over that time when I was finishing my school year that I converted. I kept it a surprise for her, and when I arrived in Russia I showed her my cross (I even had an official letter from the priest in CA (jurisdiction: OCA) in case anyone doubted that I had been received Into the Church), and two weeks later we were married to each other for the third time - the first being a civil service in Russia, the second time a civil service for my folks in the US, and the last being our Church wedding 12 years after our first.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I must be the freak of the bunch. All five of us were chrismated, but Kate and I weren't crowned. To my knowledge, none of the converts at my parish have gone through that after chrismation who were already married prior?

 

[gzt]

gurney - that isn't odd, it's normative for the OCA, at least.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I'm not OCA, but part of the Serbian Orthodox Diocese of the West. I asked Father if we needed to go through the crowning stuff, he said not at all necessary, so I didn't pursue it at all....but sometimes I get the vibe that some folks in here think people aren't truly married if they didn't go through the crowning....

gurney - that isn't odd, it's normative for the OCA, at least.

 

[gzt]

The only people who have expressed an opinion agree with what you did!

 

[xenia]

By the way, our crowning was the full length wedding service, not a shortened version. Another middle aged couple was crowned at the same time with us. This was a largish GOA parish but it was 90% converts. it was after liturgy on a Sunday. Some choir members stayed to sing, there was cake and flowers... It was the lovely Christian wedding we wished we had 35 years earlier.

 

[seashale76]

And converted with their spouse: when you converted, were you then crowned (ie married)? Were you crowned at the baptism, or later (if so, when)? Please report jurisdiction whether or not this occurred.

If you did not convert after marriage, you can comment on what you've seen in your parish or something, but don't answer the poll.

As a note, the written OCA policy is not to re-marry after conversion. I'm not particularly interested in discussing, in this thread, the reasoning, but feel free to speculate on another.

We had to ask for it- and we did so a few years after our conversion. It's whatever it is they do to people on their wedding anniversaries (which it was for us) but I know it wasn't the crowning like in weddings I've been to- though crowns were involved. It was quite short. I don't think it was a crowning, tbh. Just a blessing? (Antiochian)

 

[Mary of Bethany]

That sounds like what our priest did for my non-Orthodox husband and me on our 30th anniversary, after I asked if we could have some sort of blessing.

Mary

 

[gzt]

Yes, I'm talking specifically about marrying you again after converting, not something that may involve crowns on an anniversary, but something understood explicitly as performing an Orthodox marriage for a couple that converted after being married and therefore did not have an Orthodox wedding before.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Yes, I'm talking specifically about marrying you again after converting, not something that may involve crowns on an anniversary, but something understood explicitly as performing an Orthodox marriage for a couple that converted after being married and therefore did not have an Orthodox wedding before.

I have never heard of remarrying after converting. I have heard of crowning as a blessing by the Church for the marriage, but marrying after one is already married sounds off