need ideas for a good intimacy prayer

[bluegreysky]

Hubby needs it... daily.
I struggle with it.
if it were left up to me, it would only happen 1-2 times a week.
he gets very unhappy if that happens.
I suffer from anxiety and it messes with my mood
so it messes with my desire for intimacy.
Sometimes I still "make it happen" and says he feels like i didn't appreciate it.
he's right... I have a very sensitive little body with lots of allergy issues (though they are getting better) so some things are not comfortable for me. try enjoying anything physical/exercise-ish if your tummy is hurting.
I won't get into this TMI stuff.
Just saying... I wondered if there was a special prayer pre-intimacy to bless the intimacy
Just like how the Lord's prayer asks for God's will, asks for provisions, asks for forgiveness and asks for protection.
Something like that. yeah.

 

[Dave-W]

Hubby needs it... daily.

This too shall pass.....

if it were left up to me, it would only happen 1-2 times a week.

Some of us would kill to get it that often. Try once every 3-4 months when you need it daily.

Sometimes I still "make it happen" and says he feels like i didn't appreciate it.

We can tell when your not that into it. It leaves an empty feeling.

I won't get into this TMI stuff.

Thank you.

Just saying... I wondered if there was a special prayer pre-intimacy to bless the intimacy

Probably not RIGHT before - but at other "non intimate" times in your own private prayers. Pray for God to make you a blessing to your spouse and to give you strength to "be fully in the moment" for him.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Theres no real special prayer. To be blunt ask that God would make your hubby more understanding and that he would realize sex is not all there is in marriage. And that he would be kind about it and see it from your point of view. For the person with the higher sex drive its usually harder for them to not understand why the spouse doesn't want it all the time like they do. Also pray he would be respectful as a husband and realize no means no because you have alot in your life to deal with and don't need more stress.

 

[bluegreysky]

he knows it's not "all there is". he just needs it more than me. What i need and respond to is dishes done, laundry done, kind words, flowers, etc like a typical woman and he gives all that but then when he wants his no.1 thing- the physical intimacy, i have trouble with it so he keeps saying he's the better person in our marriage and i cant let that happen

 

[Dave-W]

... so he keeps saying he's the better person in our marriage

Yeah - that line of thinking can not lead to anywhere good. I know - BTDT.

 

[bluegreysky]

yeah I can't let him be the better person. we have to be equals.

I think he knows that I know that lots and lots of people are better then me, but that I can't stand when people rub that in my face so he says stuff like that just to get under my skin.

 

[puregrl]

Does he say he needs it daily or was that implied? 1-2 times a week is actually quite normal for a married couple. Why does he need physical intimacy that often? Is that the only way that he feels loved?? I can say that in most if not all marriages there are many times a person has sex with their partner just because the other wanted to. But the other person ends up being satisfied in the end...it just took longer to get going than usual. He actually says "appreciate it"?! like he is doing you a favor by having sex? Sex is supposed to be two ways, a response between two people...not to be appreciated but enjoyed. It is supposed to bring two people together in a way normal interactions cannot. It seems like you are very concerned with making him happy (a good thing), however I have to ask if he has talked to you about it in a non confrontational or rude way?

he knows it's not "all there is". he just needs it more than me. What i need and respond to is dishes done, laundry done, kind words, flowers, etc like a typical woman and he gives all that but then when he wants his no.1 thing- the physical intimacy, i have trouble with it so he keeps saying he's the better person in our marriage and i cant let that happen

You have different love language...also normal. Just like he must do things to respond to the way you feel loved, you must do the same. Give him hugs, massages, whatever he needs to feel loved. If he has told you he is a better person because you have trouble responding to his love language...that sounds like manipulation to me. Let me emphasize...he is not a better person because you don't feel like having sex. You care enough about finding a solution to a problem that it does not make him better, or you worse, or anything. There is no better person in a marriage that is founded in love and respect.

In response to a specific prayer...there isnt one. Just talk to God. Tell him your concerns, bring to him how it makes you feel. Ask for wisdom in what to do. It sounds like there may be deeper issues than just lack of constant sex. Pray for wisdom, pray for his heart to change, pray for your body to heal. Just bring it all to God. And if you need to PM me feel free =)

 

[bluegreysky]

Yes, he has said he needs it every day. If he doesn't get it, he doesn't harrass me, he just goes quietly to bed... then the next day he's short tempered and says stuff like i stated above to get under my skin..
he never outrightly will admit it, but he ONLY acts like that for 2 reasons: 1) I said something mean first 2) he didn't get any

No, he never said I had to appreciate sex like he's God's gift to women or anything chauvenist like that. but there WAS a conversation about a week ago or more now that he wanted something, i provided it, but i groaned the whole time because i had a bad tummy ache and it wasn't comfortable for me. afterwords, i made the mistake of kind of being like "whew now i can rest" and he later said "you know, i dont enjoy sex sometimes because you complain about it"

 

[puregrl]

Ahh ok. First he needs to listen to your needs. The relationship is two ways, two people with needs that are both just as important. If you truly do not feel like it, he needs to respect that and be ok with a hug or kiss. It honestly sounds like he doesn't respect your needs when it comes to sex. You need to enjoy it to. Talk about the issues, discuss what you can do instead of sex when you are feeling that bad. What you said that time prob wasnt the smartest or the best timing, but it does show that there is an issue that needs to be addressed. What he said is key though and shows how circular of an issue this is. You feel sick and dont feel like sex, he wants it, you have sex but dont enjoy it, he doesnt enjoy it. In order for him to enjoy sex like he is meant to, you have to enjoy it as well. This means that there needs to be mutual respect. Pray for wisdom in what to say in this conversation. I tell everyone to use reflective statements with stuff like that so there is no blame and no defensiveness.

 

[bluegreysky]

well, there is no "making him do it less often" and still having a happy husband so ... i just want to find that prayer that blesses the sex even if i'm "not in the mood"

 

[turkle]

so he keeps saying he's the better person in our marriage and i cant let that happen

yeah I can't let him be the better person. we have to be equals.

I think he knows that I know that lots and lots of people are better then me, but that I can't stand when people rub that in my face so he says stuff like that just to get under my skin.

I think that this kind of competitiveness is more destructive than the problem with libido. If you are having conversations about who is the better person, then you have a much bigger problem. I recommend counseling for this, because it is toxic.

Marriage is about service. You serve each other in the way the other needs to be served out of love and respect. Not to prove a point. If you want to have a long lasting, loving marriage, then be the one who considers his needs as extremely important. Hopefully, he will do the same for you. Serve each other.

 

[Mayzoo]

See if anything off this link is helpful:

https://www.google.com/webhp?source...&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=prayer for sex in marriage