Need Advice

[Razare]

Had a dream last December.

God showed me all the junk in my heart, and then also this foul spirit that is laughing at me all day, which is the old man who I used to live in. I don't totally get it all completely, I just know it's corruption and the stuff that was in my heart was no good.

I tried repenting. And then I stepped out in faith to get a wife, because I believe this was part of the repentance of changing my lifestyle ... I wanted a wife, but I was not pursuing it because I had given up basically.

Then I went on a date with an extremely attractive Christian woman, and she wanted to go on a second date with me for some reason. After the first date, I knew it would be no good because she was too attractive. But, I thought, "Well, don't judge on looks give her a chance." Bad move.

Second date, satan showed up in it and spoke through her, and other than doing something very dramatic like rebuking the devil in public, it wasn't something I could fix. Now, I don't care that I did not get to date her again. That's not the issue at all. But it was that what she said, mirrored exactly what my pastor said, and it was persecution. And it's like, if I got to listen to the devil from Christians, it stinks because I'll end up believing it if it's coming out of my pastor's mouth.

Ultimately, they all want me to jump through hoops and twist myself to be something God did not make me to be, and that I do not know, so I can please their viewpoints on what it means to look for a wife/partner.

God showed me what I need out of a wife from scripture, and it doesn't agree with their attitudes or beliefs.

And this devastated my heart and I haven't been able to recover from it. I gave up looking for a wife after this. Now since then, God has showed me what I need for a wife and I did not know it back then. But I have zero motivation to date.

All the motivation I had before, died completely. Like the plant in the seed parable, I believed God's word about getting a wife, my plant shot up with a fury, and then when persecution came from Christians in my life, I had no root to endure and rebuke them to their faces, and I caved, and my plant withered in my heart and died.

I am also an extremely unlikable person. And when I was believing God's word, this started to get fixed. People noticed a difference in me. Then it died and reverted to how I was before.

Problem is I can't get that motivation back. It's gone like chaff in the wind.

Last night, I had a dream about how I needed to repent. And I was going to repent again by driving away in my truck (turning away from sin)... but then I saw fires burning in the distance, and I was just like, "I should go burn in the fire, who cares?"

I just know that dream I had in December was God and it was baaaad stuff... and then I repented and saw immediate results, and then I lost it. And look, I could certainly "try" again, but I would fail. It would just sputter out of the gate with about 5% of the motivation I had before, and I would fizzle.

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won't he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?

Based on the dream I had in December, I think God will kill me (permissive will) and take me to heaven if I persist in this. That said, I never cared much about death one way or another. I only care in the context of other people it can damage. Besides, fear of death, can't motivate you to do good as a Christian... doesn't work that way.

 

[paul1149]

Last night, I had a dream about how I needed to repent. And I was going to repent again by driving away in my truck (turning away from sin)... but then I saw fires burning in the distance, and I was just like, "I should go burn in the fire, who cares?"

Maybe those fires are meant to refine, not destroy. What was the sense of the dream? I don't think God is going to leave you stuck, but I would encourage you to press further into understanding. You've got the dream-sign, now pursue wisdom in how to respond to it.

 

[farout]

Had a dream last December.

God showed me all the junk in my heart, and then also this foul spirit that is laughing at me all day, which is the old man who I used to live in. I don't totally get it all completely, I just know it's corruption and the stuff that was in my heart was no good.

I tried repenting. And then I stepped out in faith to get a wife, because I believe this was part of the repentance of changing my lifestyle ... I wanted a wife, but I was not pursuing it because I had given up basically.

Then I went on a date with an extremely attractive Christian woman, and she wanted to go on a second date with me for some reason. After the first date, I knew it would be no good because she was too attractive. But, I thought, "Well, don't judge on looks give her a chance." Bad move.

Second date, satan showed up in it and spoke through her, and other than doing something very dramatic like rebuking the devil in public, it wasn't something I could fix. Now, I don't care that I did not get to date her again. That's not the issue at all. But it was that what she said, mirrored exactly what my pastor said, and it was persecution. And it's like, if I got to listen to the devil from Christians, it stinks because I'll end up believing it if it's coming out of my pastor's mouth.

Ultimately, they all want me to jump through hoops and twist myself to be something God did not make me to be, and that I do not know, so I can please their viewpoints on what it means to look for a wife/partner.

God showed me what I need out of a wife from scripture, and it doesn't agree with their attitudes or beliefs.

And this devastated my heart and I haven't been able to recover from it. I gave up looking for a wife after this. Now since then, God has showed me what I need for a wife and I did not know it back then. But I have zero motivation to date.

All the motivation I had before, died completely. Like the plant in the seed parable, I believed God's word about getting a wife, my plant shot up with a fury, and then when persecution came from Christians in my life, I had no root to endure and rebuke them to their faces, and I caved, and my plant withered in my heart and died.

I am also an extremely unlikable person. And when I was believing God's word, this started to get fixed. People noticed a difference in me. Then it died and reverted to how I was before.

Problem is I can't get that motivation back. It's gone like chaff in the wind.

Last night, I had a dream about how I needed to repent. And I was going to repent again by driving away in my truck (turning away from sin)... but then I saw fires burning in the distance, and I was just like, "I should go burn in the fire, who cares?"

I just know that dream I had in December was God and it was baaaad stuff... and then I repented and saw immediate results, and then I lost it. And look, I could certainly "try" again, but I would fail. It would just sputter out of the gate with about 5% of the motivation I had before, and I would fizzle.

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won't he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?

Based on the dream I had in December, I think God will kill me (permissive will) and take me to heaven if I persist in this. That said, I never cared much about death one way or another. I only care in the context of other people it can damage. Besides, fear of death, can't motivate you to do good as a Christian... doesn't work that way.

I am wondering are you really studding the Bible on a regular basis? You sound confused, am I reading your post right? I am interested in responding, it would help to know a little more about you. Am I wrong to think you live outside the US?

 

[Greg J.]

But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. (1 Corinthians 14:3, 1984 NIV) God's character doesn't change when he is speaking to an individual.

do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. (1 Thessalonians 5:20-22, 1984 NIV)

What one receives on earth is not necessarily what was sent from heaven. It takes a long time to be able to recognize what is from God and what is not. As has been said, when we get to heaven, we are going to discover a lot of things we thought were from God were not, and a lot of the things we thought weren't from God actually were. Recognizing God's voice (and visions and dreams) reliably requires having been obedient to God for a long time—a long time, in part, because a good knowledge of what God is like (from Scripture) and faith in God and what he commanded through Scripture, is necessary to filter out the evil from the good.

God showed me ... this foul spirit that is laughing at me all day,

This doesn't sound like it is from God. God wants you to focus on him and your new self, not your former way of life.

God showed me what I need out of a wife from scripture

This is what you need to hold onto. The job of other people is to help you connect with God, not connect with their ideas. I also want to point out that getting married prematurely or to the wrong person can lead to more suffering than you're experiencing now.

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. (bold mine, Isaiah 64:4, 1984 NIV)

God is never, ever going to rebuke you for being you. Anything along those lines is certainly from Satan.

And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14, 1984 NIV)

God very, very rarely tells anyone something concrete about what He will (or may or may not) do in the future. This is a red flag as to whether a word, vision, or dream was from God or not. God wants you to connect to him in the present.

The idea that God will kill you if you do or don't do such and such is certainly from Satan.

You didn't save yourself. God saved you. While you need to do your best to living in a way that pleases God, you only need to fight to do your best, and for that you have his help (especially if you ask him and really mean it). God doesn't expect you to be able to do the impossible. It pleases God greatly when you are fighting to know him better and get closer to him.

For the first 10-15 (or whatever) years of having God at the center of your days (i.e., the focus of your life), it is a good idea to ask for help interpreting what you think is from God from people who know God better than you, preferably who have been devoted to Christ for over 25 years and have a thorough knowledge of Scripture. For those not yet there, above all, remember that God loves you. Compare what you dreamt with God's description of himself:

And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. ... (bold mine, Exodus 34:6-7a, 1984 NIV) (I left out a part about his just nature, because the way most people understand it is not quite right and I don't want to go off onto a tangent.)

Be aware that Satan often attacks people by using the truth. The truth can be harmful if given at the wrong time or in the wrong way. Consider the difference in effect of a person being told to to turn away from a certain sin vs. being told 20 times a day every day. The latter isn't from God.

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! (Isaiah 30:18, 1984 NIV)

 

[Razare]

I am wondering are you really studding the Bible on a regular basis? You sound confused, am I reading your post right? I am interested in responding, it would help to know a little more about you. Am I wrong to think you live outside the US?

I'm delivered from confusion, and I confess and have this by Deut 28.

So I'm not confused, I just wasn't fully cognizant of what to do, which isn't confusion.

Now, that said, "Don't give place to the devil"... this relates to the garbage in my heart. And so on an emotional / soulish level in my heart, there is a battle.

Also, whoever mentioned the fire was refining fire, I thought about this to.

Really, the first part of that dream summed up the issue quite well.

There is a stronghold, a house with sin in it. I leave the house, and I get half way down the road to leave it in the dust, and my truck stalls and I end up just going back to the house as a compromise. Now if the house burnt down, fine by me. Maybe that's where the fire was at? Would be good news then.

I don't think the fire was in any way hell... I was worried it might be sowing and reaping.... sow destruction and eventually reaping it.

This doesn't sound like it is from God. God wants you to focus on him and your new self, not your former way of life.

God manifests spirits for us to overcome and rebuke them. That's what it was.

See, you can say, "It's not from God," but you're wrong in that it was truth. Now, if I disagreed with the dream, then certainly I could say it was not from God, but it's not true. I have sin in my life, and I have it constantly trying to assert itself in my heart, and it is evil with 100% certainty according to God's word. This was the nature of that dream.

So I would like to say the dream was false, but I can't do it without lying. So it was God showing me the junk in my heart. I agree God wants me to focus on him and the new creation, but if I have slipped back into my old dead self, God will point it out as he was doing.

Now the reason God will do this is because I was also getting into pride. Those who exalt themselves will be humbled.

 

[Razare]

The idea that God will kill you if you do or don't do such and such is certainly from Satan.

No, Paul in 1 Corinthians hands a man over for the destruction of the flesh because he is in sin. Had the man not repented, he would have died and went to heaven.

Also in Revelation, a woman is put on a bed of sickness and her children killed by God's judgement of sin in the church. She was a deceiving member of the church bringing people into sexual sin. Those who slept with her in the church would also be judged... who were members of the church, saved in Christ.

This does not scare me about God or bother me. I am not scared about my life. I am more frightened of being taken over by a devil because I yield to sin. When we yield to sin in our life, we invite the devil into our life to operate through us.

I personally would rather die than do that, but God doesn't want me to die, and God is willing to compromise on the issue of sin to keep me around on Earth.

This is what you need to hold onto.

I have trouble yielding to God fully on it. I have faith to see miracle healings, so I get faith. The problem I have with this is not faith even, but cost. I know exactly how to have faith for a wife, and do it God's way, but I don't like the cost of doing it that way.

For example, according to the verses God gave me, there is an acceptable woman at church I should date. I don't want to date her because of her looks. It's superficial garbage in my view, but don't ask me how to overcome that in my thinking.

I also wouldn't want to subject a woman to that, "Oh, I'm not attracted to you at all, but you had the qualities God wanted for me."

Now I have found another problem with dating. Attractive women, I don't like either.

I am not stunningly handsome or anything, so very attractive women seem like an issue with me. I'd prefer someone just average.

And so my issue with dating / finding a wife is that I want a superficial characteristic that opposes one of the things God gave me on my list.

And if I'm going to disobey God on the issue I'd rather just disobey and not do it. Either do it right or don't bother doing it. I'm not going to marry who I want to marry, if it goes against the list God gave me. I wouldn't bother, I'll just be disobedient and not do it at all, and not get what I want.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

What is the cost for you to do things God's way?

 

[Greg J.]

Razare, apparently you have an image of God that is more like a strict taskmaster who wants to torture sin out of you and/or might give you behavioral ultimatums. You seem to be struggling to get right or stay right with God, stop sinning, and be a good person.

You cannot know God from looking at your sin and problems and assuming you know what God should do or is doing about them. That's how you get to know to know sin real well. You are afraid of being taken over by Satan—then I have to say Satan has more than enough power to take you over in a mere moment, no matter what you do. Your protection from that is from God. Focus on God, his love, faithfulness, and power and do not give credence to your fears.

This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. (1 John 3:19-20, 1984 NIV)

But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. (bold mine, 1 Corinthians 14:3, 1984 NIV) Prophesy is God speaking through a person . God's character doesn't change depending on whether he communicates with words, a feeling, vision, or dream.

These adjectives describe the God I know:

... “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. ...” (Exodus 34:6-7, 1984 NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, 1984 NIV)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (bold mine, Galatians 5:22-23, 1984 NIV)

Personally, I have always found the Lord to be gracious, gentle, kind, and generous.

The most important thing I can say is that if you are relying on your efforts to stop sinning or stay right in the Lord's eyes, then you have misunderstood the Christian walk, and if you continue, you will miss what matters most. The Christian walk is all about doing the best you can in yielding your will to the Lord's and getting to know him. It includes acknowledging your limitations and inability and asking God to deal with problems for you. It can be put in a negative-sounding way: take up your cross daily. Or it can be be described positively:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6, 1984 NIV)

If you are already making the best choices you can to please God, then God is already very pleased with you. No matter what you're doing, he loves you more than we can comprehend. He forgave you your sin a long time ago and forgot them. It would seem that you are the one that keeps them foremost in your mind.

It sounds like you need to accept the truths of God's grace. I once found The Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll of great benefit. Any and all self-condemnation you have or feelings like you deserve discipline is not from God. Those perceptions are things you need to be fighting with the Truths of God's love.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7, 1984 NIV)

The good news is good news.

 

[Razare]

What is the cost for you to do things God's way?

If a person has to deal with their flesh in their life, then if we do something which our flesh dislikes, then if that involves our marriage, it introduces a constant struggle to that marriage.

So 20 years of struggling with various temptations which are just non-existent if I think my wife is attractive. And there are ditches (temptations) with an attractive wife, sure, but I can manage those temptations better by how I am.

And maybe God wants me to marry someone I believe is attractive, but if so, it's a peripheral issue to the verses he gave me.

 

[Razare]

I'm done asking for advice from you guys. I am a grace proponent, I believe in it, and I accept it. But none of you guys understand me and what I deal with.

God showing me the strongholds in my life, so I can cast them out of my life is a good thing. But rather you guys think strongholds should be ignored, and that we're to keep sin around in our life.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. - 2 Corinthians 10:4

No, I don't view God as a strict task master. I don't view him that way at all. My fear here is not of God.

When I sin and yield to the devil, quite often, I will feel a demon spirit or something akin to this latch on to my body, and I can rebuke the thing in the name of Christ and get it off me.... but it's terrifying having to live with demons on you influencing your mind to sin and behave wrong. God wants them out of my life, and I want them out of my life, and I am trying to learn from God's word to do it.

Just saying some verse quote is stupid. The word sets me free, but it's revelation of that word which does it. Just quipping it off like a parrot doesn't amount to anything. Ignoring the problem, likewise does nothing.

I can look at all the grace verses, but I believe in grace already. I can go live in sin for 20 years and I know God will still accept me, but I do not know after those 20 years of sinning if I will still accept God.

You guys underestimate the destruction of sin in people's lives, and living a Christian life in sin. I don't underestimate it, though, I still struggle with it.

In scripture, at the very end, there is eternal judgement where men and women are thrown into an eternal fire. That eternal fire is love expressed by God, because God can only do love. If you can't comprehend that doing this is love, then you fail to understand something of God's character.

 

[now faith]

I'm done asking for advice from you guys. I am a grace proponent, I believe in it, and I accept it. But none of you guys understand me and what I deal with.

God showing me the strongholds in my life, so I can cast them out of my life is a good thing. But rather you guys think strongholds should be ignored, and that we're to keep sin around in our life.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. - 2 Corinthians 10:4

No, I don't view God as a strict task master. I don't view him that way at all. My fear here is not of God.



When I sin and yield to the devil, quite often, I will feel a demon spirit or something akin to this latch on to my body, and I can rebuke the thing in the name of Christ and get it off me.... but it's terrifying having to live with demons on you influencing your mind to sin and behave wrong. God wants them out of my life, and I want them out of my life, and I am trying to learn from God's word to do it.

Just saying some verse quote is stupid. The word sets me free, but it's revelation of that word which does it. Just quipping it off like a parrot doesn't amount to anything. Ignoring the problem, likewise does nothing.

I can look at all the grace verses, but I believe in grace already. I can go live in sin for 20 years and I know God will still accept me, but I do not know after those 20 years of sinning if I will still accept God.

You guys underestimate the destruction of sin in people's lives, and living a Christian life in sin. I don't underestimate it, though, I still struggle with it.

In scripture, at the very end, there is eternal judgement where men and women are thrown into an eternal fire. That eternal fire is love expressed by God, because God can only do love. If you can't comprehend that doing this is love, then you fail to understand something of God's character.

Demons have no authority over God's Children,don't give them the attention they seek and you will not dwell in their lies.
Go find that girl and give her a chance to help you or you help her,you may mistake your answered prayer as a trap.

 

[Greg J.]

Razare, you don't know what I've been through. On the other hand, I recognize your situation because I experienced it for many excruciatingly painful years. In looking back, I can see that I didn't handle it as well as I could have, hence I want to share my present perspective. I definitely needed more spiritually mature people praying for me. I needed more psycho-emotional support from other people than I got, which almost doesn't exist in this society, because people think others don't understand their situation. Same thing youths think about the uselessness of adults. But what one learns over time is that human nature is the same between people and the general approaches to dealing with problems stemming from it are similar.

What you are experiencing is certainly spiritual oppression, and I'm not saying you are necessarily doing any specific thing wrong to combat it. I'm saying that you are focusing on the wrong things. When I quote Scripture it is because it says something I want to say, except the reason I want to say it is because God said it first and it is the Truth.

The best I can say to you is, God loves you. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. The fight you are in may be necessary, but it is never wrong to keep in mind that God has forgiven all your past, present, and future sins to the point of "forgetting" them.

This verse says that God is morally obligated to forgive us our sins if we agree with him in word and effort that they are sins. Now its up to you (and all of us) to do the best we can to accept his forgiveness in our hearts.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (bold mine, 1 John 1:9, 1984 NIV)

If you aren't already, you need to be connected with one or more people who you keep up-to-date on your struggles. This helps because it is a way to regularly confess your sins to another person (a spiritually and psycho-emotionally necessary activity) and also get support and prayer from.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I hope you don't mind me replying .... but I will say what I think.

Firstly God will not force you to marry any one. It may be the person that you feel God is asking you about is secretly praying you would take an interest in them.

I had a situation some years ago where I saw a really hot Christian girl on a dating site, I prayed and asked God to get her to date me, rather than me contact her. And I asked God to show me He had sent her to me. Well guess what happened, some months latter this girl contacted me, and asked me on a date. On the same day God gave me heaps of info into my Spirit, about her, things only God could know. These things were all true.

I though that this meant we would marry, but it did not work out between us. We stopped dating after the first date.

From the above you can see God will get people together but ultimately it is a choice that has to occur between two people.

The bible says:

Son 8:4 I say to you, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not let love be moved till it is ready.

In issues of the heart God is not going to Spiritually rape you. You have a choice. If you really don't want to enter the relationship, just tell God, you can't do it, he will not hold it against you. The girl will find some else. You will also find some one suitable to you.

You also mentioned some Spiritual issues, like demons attacking you, and you feeling them physically. I know one poster said it should not happen to a Christian, but I would say this is quite normal for some one who is open to the realm of the Spirit. It should happen with less frequency the closer we get to God, or the more we understand His grace. But it will probably not ever cease to happen entirely.

As for the dreams I would say they are a general call for you not to give up on your faith when things stall, or don't go the way you want. There is always a pull to give up, and go the worlds way, when things don't go our way.