[moved] Need advice and prayer

[Nattyz]

Hey, so I'm new here. I posted in this thread because I didn't know where else to.

If you're reading this, thank you very much. I appreciate that you're willing to hear what I have to say. I've talked about this with many other people, but decided to present this to a new crowd.

So, here's what's going on:

First, this has to do with relationships. Hope you don't see to many posts about this, but this has been a very high and serious concern of mine.

I'll start by saying that I was in a very healthy relationship with this girl for over a year and a half. This wasn't a high school relationship or anything light, I can honestly say she's been my best friend. We're both over 19 now. We talked to each other about everything, prayed with each other, and for our relationship, and were always open to discuss Biblical ideas. Both of us are looking to be full-time missionaries.

Last August, she left for an out-of-country YWAM DTS, a sort of missionary training school. She would be gone for six months. We live about three hours apart, but I drove up there to send her off at the airport with her family. She really appreciated that.At the start of January, she left for her mission trip portion of the school. She'll be back home in February.

Over the course of her trip, I would call her, pray for her, and give her the encouragement and support she needed. Our timezones were different, but staying up extra late to make calls work didn't matter to me. I donated money for her mission portion to work, and she was extremely grateful.

Now, maybe a day after I had made that donation, she called me. She was in tears and told me of how she learned that "God doesn't want her to be in a relationship with me anymore".

I was shocked and freaking out, and I asked her what the reason was. She told me that God had told her the name of her future husband.

She told me this all right before leaving for her mission trip, so contacting her has been almost impossible. But I learned new things over the following weeks.

Apparently, the person "God" was telling her to marry turned out to be part of her YWAM team. Even further, this guy was being told the same thing (and he broke off a very committed girlfriend because of this, as well).

So, naturally, I wasn't happy. If breaking up was bad enough, the fact that another guy was involved sent me off the rails. I told her that she needed to check herself. That she might not be getting this all from God, that what she was saying sounded bizarre, and suspicious.

I asked her how God was telling them all this, and she told me that at first she thought she heard it as a voice in her head while she was worshipping in church.
Then, she explained to me this practice she would do with her mentors, called "Holy Spirit talks". This is where it gets weird.

Basically, according to her, these Holy Spirit talks are done with two people. Person 1 has a question, and will ask it to Person 2, with no context, so broken down into only a few words (such as "who and what?"). Person 2 then repeats these words to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives them an answer, which Person 2 will repeat to Person 1.

By doing this, she was able to "confirm" with her mentors that I was being too much of a distraction for her, and that she was supposed to marry her YWAM friend. Besides that, she's also mentioned to me how she's gotten involved in modern day prophecy, and praying in tongues. Both of these are things she felt uncomfortable with before she left. All this is telling me is that being at YWAM for so long has changed her views around in many ways.

It's bizarre. It can't be backed up by the bible. It's something I never heard of before, and yet she's completely sold on it.

So here's the notes I have:
-She broke up with me because God told her the name of her future husband.
-This "future husband" turned out to be on her team.
-This guy was being told the same thing.
-Everyone else on her team helped her "confirm" it and just so happened to all be thinking the same thing.

It sounds very suspicious on how conveniant it all worked. My thoughts right now is that she is either A: Using God as an excuse to get with a different guy, B: Fully believing this is all from God without taking much time to pray and think about it on her own, or C: a mix of both.

I've been trying to learn more. I hope to meet with her in person once she's back, so we can discuss it in person, even though she's not planning on thinking twice about it. She's been ignoring me this last week and doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore, but I believe she's just waiting for her mission trip to end before talking to me again.

So, here's my concerns:

First, that she's using God to back her on breaking up and getting with another guy. She firmly believes it, but I don't. I don't think God would be telling her things like this. I don't think He would have us go through all that we did together just to have her replace me with someone else. It's like some kind of modern day prophecy. I've seen many people be under the impression that God told them to marry someone, and it never works out. I don't want to see her get hurt by this.

Second, these "Holy Spirit talks". The fact that her mentors encouraged her to do this is beyond crazy. I have no idea what's going on over there, but I know this strange practice is wrong. It's not in the bible, no church leader I've spoken to has even heard of it before. And even IF it was a thing, I don't think it would focus on relationships.

Third, this is a complete change of character for her. Her personality with me has gone from sweet and caring to cold and immature. She cuts me off when I try to talk to her, and logs off whenever I show a shred of disagreement.

I was really good to her I thought, I can't think of anything I really did wrong in the relationship. The fact that another guy is with her right now, in a completely different country, is a harsh thought. The fact that she tries to ignore me now, and gets mad at me for being concerned, is depressing. I don't think God speaks to people in the way shes described, and I don't think she's in the right mind about this. I don't believe we can get answers from the Holy Spirit whenever we feel like it, and I especially don't think God focuses on relationship advice. But she's treating all this like she's making a giant sacrifice. She's told me it's the only way she can follow God's plan for her, which just sounds like an excuse at this point.

So, I need prayer. I am praying myself, but I need more people to be as well.

She's hurt me beyond measure by this. But I want to keep discussing this with her before she's sure. It doesn't sound right to me, or anyone else I've talked to about it. It certainly doesn't sound like something from God.

She needs prayer, I need prayer. I need help distancing myself from her. I need wisdom in how I talk with her and how I handle this situation.

I don't have any hope for our relationship anymore. It's over. But I do think she's being misled in her thinking, and needs to pray on it more. Especially when she's home and away from the influence of this overseas team.

Am I wrong for how I'm thinking about this? I can't accept that she's solely doing this for God, I'm not even sure how true that statement is. Thank you for reading all this.

What are your thoughts?

 

[ToBeLoved]

Wow! That is beyond weird. You are right to be in a panic for her.

First, pray, pray pray for her. Second, get others to pray, pray, pray for her. There is a prayer request subforum, copy and paste your post or part of it there for prayer for her. Prayer Wall There is also a Chaplain's Corner Chaplains Office if you need to talk confidentially or you can start a conversation with me if you like.

I may talk with her parents or the church that sent her or that she came from. It seems like she is being manipulated and paired with another YWAM member maybe to keep people inside their organization with relationships. Either way, putting the Holy Spirit as a manipulation point is using God to manipulate and I would RUN FAST from any organization willling to do that.

There are plenty of missions organizations and so if God is calling both of you to missions, God will find a way.

I hope this helps, ask questions if you need to. I hope I can help you in some way.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Oh and welcome to CF!!!!

 

[Jim Langston]

Hey, so I'm new here. I posted in this thread because I didn't know where else to.

If you're reading this, thank you very much. I appreciate that you're willing to hear what I have to say. I've talked about this with many other people, but decided to present this to a new crowd.

So, here's what's going on:

First, this has to do with relationships. Hope you don't see to many posts about this, but this has been a very high and serious concern of mine.

I'll start by saying that I was in a very healthy relationship with this girl for over a year and a half. This wasn't a high school relationship or anything light, I can honestly say she's been my best friend. We're both over 19 now. We talked to each other about everything, prayed with each other, and for our relationship, and were always open to discuss Biblical ideas. Both of us are looking to be full-time missionaries.

Last August, she left for an out-of-country YWAM DTS, a sort of missionary training school. She would be gone for six months. We live about three hours apart, but I drove up there to send her off at the airport with her family. She really appreciated that.At the start of January, she left for her mission trip portion of the school. She'll be back home in February.

Over the course of her trip, I would call her, pray for her, and give her the encouragement and support she needed. Our timezones were different, but staying up extra late to make calls work didn't matter to me. I donated money for her mission portion to work, and she was extremely grateful.

Now, maybe a day after I had made that donation, she called me. She was in tears and told me of how she learned that "God doesn't want her to be in a relationship with me anymore".

I was shocked and freaking out, and I asked her what the reason was. She told me that God had told her the name of her future husband.

She told me this all right before leaving for her mission trip, so contacting her has been almost impossible. But I learned new things over the following weeks.

Apparently, the person "God" was telling her to marry turned out to be part of her YWAM team. Even further, this guy was being told the same thing (and he broke off a very committed girlfriend because of this, as well).

So, naturally, I wasn't happy. If breaking up was bad enough, the fact that another guy was involved sent me off the rails. I told her that she needed to check herself. That she might not be getting this all from God, that what she was saying sounded bizarre, and suspicious.

I asked her how God was telling them all this, and she told me that at first she thought she heard it as a voice in her head while she was worshipping in church.
Then, she explained to me this practice she would do with her mentors, called "Holy Spirit talks". This is where it gets weird.

Basically, according to her, these Holy Spirit talks are done with two people. Person 1 has a question, and will ask it to Person 2, with no context, so broken down into only a few words (such as "who and what?"). Person 2 then repeats these words to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives them an answer, which Person 2 will repeat to Person 1.

By doing this, she was able to "confirm" with her mentors that I was being too much of a distraction for her, and that she was supposed to marry her YWAM friend. Besides that, she's also mentioned to me how she's gotten involved in modern day prophecy, and praying in tongues. Both of these are things she felt uncomfortable with before she left. All this is telling me is that being at YWAM for so long has changed her views around in many ways.

It's bizarre. It can't be backed up by the bible. It's something I never heard of before, and yet she's completely sold on it.

So here's the notes I have:
-She broke up with me because God told her the name of her future husband.
-This "future husband" turned out to be on her team.
-This guy was being told the same thing.
-Everyone else on her team helped her "confirm" it and just so happened to all be thinking the same thing.

It sounds very suspicious on how conveniant it all worked. My thoughts right now is that she is either A: Using God as an excuse to get with a different guy, B: Fully believing this is all from God without taking much time to pray and think about it on her own, or C: a mix of both.

I've been trying to learn more. I hope to meet with her in person once she's back, so we can discuss it in person, even though she's not planning on thinking twice about it. She's been ignoring me this last week and doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore, but I believe she's just waiting for her mission trip to end before talking to me again.

So, here's my concerns:

First, that she's using God to back her on breaking up and getting with another guy. She firmly believes it, but I don't. I don't think God would be telling her things like this. I don't think He would have us go through all that we did together just to have her replace me with someone else. It's like some kind of modern day prophecy. I've seen many people be under the impression that God told them to marry someone, and it never works out. I don't want to see her get hurt by this.

Second, these "Holy Spirit talks". The fact that her mentors encouraged her to do this is beyond crazy. I have no idea what's going on over there, but I know this strange practice is wrong. It's not in the bible, no church leader I've spoken to has even heard of it before. And even IF it was a thing, I don't think it would focus on relationships.

Third, this is a complete change of character for her. Her personality with me has gone from sweet and caring to cold and immature. She cuts me off when I try to talk to her, and logs off whenever I show a shred of disagreement.

I was really good to her I thought, I can't think of anything I really did wrong in the relationship. The fact that another guy is with her right now, in a completely different country, is a harsh thought. The fact that she tries to ignore me now, and gets mad at me for being concerned, is depressing. I don't think God speaks to people in the way shes described, and I don't think she's in the right mind about this. I don't believe we can get answers from the Holy Spirit whenever we feel like it, and I especially don't think God focuses on relationship advice. But she's treating all this like she's making a giant sacrifice. She's told me it's the only way she can follow God's plan for her, which just sounds like an excuse at this point.

So, I need prayer. I am praying myself, but I need more people to be as well.

She's hurt me beyond measure by this. But I want to keep discussing this with her before she's sure. It doesn't sound right to me, or anyone else I've talked to about it. It certainly doesn't sound like something from God.

She needs prayer, I need prayer. I need help distancing myself from her. I need wisdom in how I talk with her and how I handle this situation.

I don't have any hope for our relationship anymore. It's over. But I do think she's being misled in her thinking, and needs to pray on it more. Especially when she's home and away from the influence of this overseas team.

Am I wrong for how I'm thinking about this? I can't accept that she's solely doing this for God, I'm not even sure how true that statement is. Thank you for reading all this.

What are your thoughts?

From everything I know from the bible and my personal experiences with communicating with God, she is being taught by false teachers. Whether the teachers know they are false or not we have no real way of knowing.

From what you have told me, I do not believe that your girlfriend knows it's false teaching so honestly believes it is the revealed word of God.

Unfortunately, there is nothing I could think of to say that would neccessarily change her opinion.

God's direct intervention will be required to get her out of this false religion. I will pray for her and you and encourage others to do likewise.

I find it difficult to think of a good place on these forums to get great support because, unfortunately, a lot of Christians believe false teachings such as this. I encourage you to go to the scriptures and confirm any advice given.

Good luck, God bless and welcome to the forums!

 

[Imnotjokingwellnotmostly]

Thank you for joining! God bless you.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Hi! First of all, welcome to the forum. Secondly, I'm sorry for the pain your in, definitely going to be prayer for you two.

First thing you need to do: take a deep breath. Second thing: another deep breath. Calm down, get your feet grounded in God, and then we can examine the issues here.

From you post, it seemed like religiously you thought you two were on the same page till Christmas, and now seemingly suddenly you appear to be in entirely different books. In my experience, things don't usually happen so suddenly- I would suspect that your understanding of what page/book she was on beforehand/now are both not 100% accurate. The only way you can figure out for sure what page she's on is to get the answers from her directly in person. For that you'll have to wait a few weeks. Impatiently researching stuff on the internet right now will probably just mess up your understanding more

It sounds very suspicious on how conveniant it all worked. My thoughts right now is that she is either A: Using God as an excuse to get with a different guy, B: Fully believing this is all from God without taking much time to pray and think about it on her own, or C: a mix of both.

Do you respect this girl? I'm assuming you do. Then trust her to make her choice and don't try to influence her. If she's going to marry someone because someone else told her to (whether it be these mission people or you), then that's not true to herself. If you want her to be true to herself, you need to let her choose for herself. Not for you.

First, that she's using God to back her on breaking up and getting with another guy. She firmly believes it, but I don't.

Do you or do you not respect her beliefs and her ability to choose? This makes it sound like you don't.

Second, these "Holy Spirit talks". The fact that her mentors encouraged her to do this is beyond crazy. I have no idea what's going on over there, but I know this strange practice is wrong. It's not in the bible, no church leader I've spoken to has even heard of it before. And even IF it was a thing, I don't think it would focus on relationships.

You can come to better understand her faith when she gets back and she can explain it to you.

Third, this is a complete change of character for her. Her personality with me has gone from sweet and caring to cold and immature. She cuts me off when I try to talk to her, and logs off whenever I show a shred of disagreement.

Sounds like she's 19 and feeling pestered.

The fact that she tries to ignore me now, and gets mad at me for being concerned, is depressing.

Does she get mad at you for being concerned? Or trying to talk to her about your concerns when she's done with that conversation? Those are two different things.

She needs prayer, I need prayer. I need help distancing myself from her.

All very true.

. But I do think she's being misled in her thinking, and needs to pray on it more. Especially when she's home and away from the influence of this overseas team.

This makes it sound like you don't respect her ability to make choices.

 

[Neoma]

If she is believing things that don't line up with the Bible and won't listen to you, then maybe it would be right to distance yourself from her. But you can also keep praying, that will help. I've heard of people who "heard" from God about future husbands, and honestly I think that's something God wouldn't do except maybe in extremely rare cases. It only causes them to obsess over future husbands instead of serving Him with their whole heart.
I've had to let go of many people who believed things that didn't line up with the Bible. They were close friends that I had for years, and even my best, best friend I let go of, along with people who I could have gotten into relationships with, and wanted to. So I understand if it's hard to distance yourself from her, but always pray that God's will be done, because He knows what's best.
Try to be patient with all of this. It's frustrating when you know someone is doing something wrong and they won't listen, I know from experience. Not everyone will listen though, you really just have to trust Jesus and try to let go of it.
I don't think you're wrong for how you're thinking about it, just don't assume that you know what she's thinking and feeling because it leads to bad things happening (again, I know from experience). I too don't think it's God telling her what she thinks He's telling her.

I'll be praying for you and her, that God will give you wisdom and help you both.

 

[Nattyz]

.

 

[Kenny'sID]

IMO, she wants to leave you out of convenience or whatever, and has found a bogus way to justify it. Pretty low if you ask me.

One of those bogus ways sound way off base so, I agree with the poster that said she's gotten herself in with the wrong bunch of people.

The following was her imagination getting away with her..she heard what she wanted to hear. If it was God, she would know, not "think" she heard his voice. God is not going to come off as wishy, washy, could be.

I asked her how God was telling them all this, and she told me that at first she thought she heard it as a voice in her head while she was worshipping in church.

Then she took the next step to verify what was most likely never there to begin with and her Church told her what she wanted to hear using non biblical weirdness. Hate to say it, but you have to whatch out for some of these "Spirit" people, and I find that to be true more and more these days.

I don't have any hope for our relationship anymore. It's over.

Good, and I'm so sorry. That's a realistic attitude. You can only do so much for her now. You may want to briefly tell her, that is if you do anything at all, what you think, and just warn her to watch out, and see what happens. It is possible she could come to her senses and come back but do not count on it.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I think if he gives up on her so quickly, she just left around Christmas, that maybe he is not dedicated enough to her. It is only Jan 20th, so that is less than a month?

Real love does not give up on someone without a fight if they are in with some savory characters and being falsely led.

I am starting to wonder if the @OP is dedicated to her. If he wanted to marry her and he is enduring 25 days of trial and throwing in the towel, maybe neither of them are in it for the long haul in a Godly way. Marriage is much harder than that.

Unless I am misunderstanding something. If yes, @OP please correct my understanding.

 

[Nattyz]

Jane_Doe,

Thank you for your insight, but please don't take what I said and assume something different. That's very insulting.

Yes, I respect her beliefs on this. But that doesn't necessarily mean I have to agree with them or that they're correct.

What she's told me, how she's been taught, it can't be backed up in the bible, anywhere. She's dropping what was a very healthy, God-centered relationship for reasons that don't sound right.

I try to seek out further answers, but she refuses to cooperatively talk to me about them.

All I'm wanting her to do is listen to my thoughts on it. I've helped her with many things over the course of her DTS. I think I should be able to give her my thoughts on it. I was her best friend at one point.

And no, I'm not going to try and force her to agree with me. But I do want her to see this all clearly, from all angles, before jumping in blind.
Because I have seen that happen before, with issues very similiar to this one. It's never led to anything good, and I'd hate to see her go in the wrong direction.

I don't think these ideas came from God. It sounds unbiblical. That's my view on it. I'm not going to conform her to my views, but I am going to attempt to help her see this more clearly. Not by pestering her, but by distancing myself in prayer, until she's back, and willing to discuss it all in person.

You don't have much knowledge of this situation besides what I told you, so don't say that I don't respect her choices or beliefs. I do. She's extremely valuable to me. But I think she should make sure what she's being told really is from God. Because from what I've heard, it sounds like she's getting it all from people. If that's true, then she needs to realize that.
This isn't because I want her back, I want her to be sure she's in the right frame of mind, before following through with it.

Thank you for your response.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I was thinking with the situation like it is, the OP is somewhat powerless to really do anything, and it might be a good idea to play his cards differently than if she were there where he could see her, but maybe not.

Could be worth the fight but for those reasons, the OP may be bowing out/no other obvious option. If he wants to fight... he should tell us, not sure we could help, but maybe.

That or the OP might just change their mind and come out fighting tomorrow...bull by the horns.

 

[Kenny'sID]

This isn't because I want her back, I want her to be sure she's in the right frame of mind, before following through with it

It's ok to want her back, it's just that after this, it would be a good idea to be cautious. Of course, that may well be what you are doing already.

 

[Nattyz]

@ToBeLoved

Thank you for what you've said, I truly do appreciate it.

You'll have to believe me when I say that I've fought for this since the day she broke me off. I've began to give her space because I don't want to be nagging, but I am trying to get to the bottom of this situation.

Her mindset is my main concern right now. Since she's with another guy now, I've chosen to not keep my hopes up for a chance to restore our relationship.

But should that chance come, I promise you I will take it.
Yes, this was a very serious relationship. I had the goal of marrying her. She meant the world to me, and I'm willing to do anything to keep our relationship.

But she doesn't seem to want that. So right now, my main concern is on the strange beliefs she's so suddenly accepted.
I do love her, this was truly something I never wanted to happen. I've been so torn this last month. It's only out of love and concern that I'm still trying to reach out to her.

So yes, I was in it for the long haul. I thought she was too. I don't want to be a disturbance to her, but if a chance ever comes to restore what we had, I'd take it in a heartbeat.
Until then, though, I'm going to try to stay in contact with her and offer whatever insight I can, because I don't want her to bring harm to herself through what she's pursuing.

 

[Nattyz]

@Kenny'sID

Thanks for what you've said man.

It's... Tough. We're an ocean apart right now, she's in charge of when I get to talk to her because I have no way of telling when she's online.

I want the relationship back, so bad. But there's not much I can do at the moment to save it. And I don't want to keep bringing that in as a subject, because I feel that it's far more important she has her reasoning cleared up spiritually.

So I will talk to her when she's back. Hopefully then we can both understand this whole thing better. I can let her know what I think of it, and pray for her future.
I'd love to think she'd rethink all this and decide to come back to me, but that idea sounds really far off at the moment, and it's hard to have any kind of hope in.

I just want her to be okay spiritually, because right now it sounds like she's letting other beliefs conflict with what she used to think.

Idk. It's hard to type out. I hope that made some kind of sense haha

 

[Nattyz]

Let me clear this all up a bit more:


Our relationship has been long-distance for almost six months now. I haven't seen her since August, she's been at a school in Australia. But I was still able to contact her online.

I was very dedicated to making calls work and talking with her. Her school left for this mission trip on Christmas, and since then her online access has been very sparse, which is why one of my only options now is to wait until February

 

[ToBeLoved]

Let me clear this all up a bit more:


Our relationship has been long-distance for almost six months now. I haven't seen her since August, she's been at a school in Australia. But I was still able to contact her online.

I was very dedicated to making calls work and talking with her. Her school left for this mission trip on Christmas, and since then her online access has been very sparse, which is why one of my only options now is to wait until February

You seem to be handling it the best you can.

I pray to the Lord that she will see you in February and will see the error of her ways with guidance from God.

I do not like this group as I feel they have used the Holy Spirit to make her think it is from God when it sounds like it was not. So my hope is that God may lead her back to you.

Be blessed.

 

[Kenny'sID]

@Kenny'sID

Thanks for what you've said man.

It's... Tough. We're an ocean apart right now, she's in charge of when I get to talk to her because I have no way of telling when she's online.

I want the relationship back, so bad. But there's not much I can do at the moment to save it. And I don't want to keep bringing that in as a subject, because I feel that it's far more important she has her reasoning cleared up spiritually.

So I will talk to her when she's back. Hopefully then we can both understand this whole thing better. I can let her know what I think of it, and pray for her future.
I'd love to think she'd rethink all this and decide to come back to me, but that idea sounds really far off at the moment, and it's hard to have any kind of hope in.

I just want her to be okay spiritually, because right now it sounds like she's letting other beliefs conflict with what she used to think.

Idk. It's hard to type out. I hope that made some kind of sense haha

You are very welcome.

Made perfect sense. Sounds like you are very much in touch with reality, and right on top of this all the way.

I'd love to think she'd rethink all this and decide to come back to me, but that idea sounds really far off at the moment, and it's hard to have any kind of hope in.

That's a real possibility, but you have the right attitude. Yes, it's going to be impossible not to at least somewhat hope for, or even count on that possibility, but do your best not to go too far with it. I pray it works out to your liking, and if it doesn't, that there is something better down the line for you. It's so hard for me to tell God, "his will be done" sometimes when I want something so bad, even found myself leaving that part out of prayer, lol, but in the end, that what we have to do.

And don't forget, sometimes his will is favorable to what we want.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Jane_Doe,

Thank you for your insight, but please don't take what I said and assume something different. That's very insulting.

Yes, I respect her beliefs on this. But that doesn't necessarily mean I have to agree with them or that they're correct.

What she's told me, how she's been taught, it can't be backed up in the bible, anywhere. She's dropping what was a very healthy, God-centered relationship for reasons that don't sound right.

I try to seek out further answers, but she refuses to cooperatively talk to me about them.

All I'm wanting her to do is listen to my thoughts on it. I've helped her with many things over the course of her DTS. I think I should be able to give her my thoughts on it. I was her best friend at one point.

And no, I'm not going to try and force her to agree with me. But I do want her to see this all clearly, from all angles, before jumping in blind.
Because I have seen that happen before, with issues very similiar to this one. It's never led to anything good, and I'd hate to see her go in the wrong direction.

I don't think these ideas came from God. It sounds unbiblical. That's my view on it. I'm not going to conform her to my views, but I am going to attempt to help her see this more clearly. Not by pestering her, but by distancing myself in prayer, until she's back, and willing to discuss it all in person.

You don't have much knowledge of this situation besides what I told you, so don't say that I don't respect her choices or beliefs. I do. She's extremely valuable to me. But I think she should make sure what she's being told really is from God. Because from what I've heard, it sounds like she's getting it all from people. If that's true, then she needs to realize that.
This isn't because I want her back, I want her to be sure she's in the right frame of mind, before following through with it.

Thank you for your response.

I apologize that I came off as insulting. That was not my intention. I tried to keep things phrased as a question, specifically because I don't know all your situation and am no way qualified to judge.

Yes I know what it's like to have someone close to you whom you feel should listen but they have shut ears. It that's SO incredibly frustrating!!! If they refuse to listen, that's their right and we got to respect it. Because we are close to someone and do many acts of love, we feel entitled to be listened to- want to just shout "I'm right, you're wrong, and you need to listen!"

But we can't do that. We have to respect another person's rights as a adult to choose to look at the evidence (or not) how they see it. We have to allow them to make moronic choices, and it hurts like the dickens. But it's part of loving them and respecting them. Sometimes it makes me think of God- how He loves us so much and hurts so badly as we make moronic choices, but He loves us too much to force us.

Ultimately we can pray and leave out door open, but that's all.

 

[vinsight4u]

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