Need advice about what to do

[adviceplease]

Hi,

I really hope someone can provide some encouraging advice. I am 49 years old and female and I still haven't overcome the desire to have a child. I am wondering if embryo donation is acceptable because every day I am panicking about my situation and I pray to God about it. I'm hoping there are still people out there who are having children at my age. I really need someone to provide some advice to help me to achieve what I desire. I'm very depressed and It's always something that is bothering me. I hope you won't post any discouraging messages because I have tried to accept being childless but it's not something that has helped even after going to see counsellors to talk my situation. Anyway,

Thanks

 

[Cactus Jack]

Hmmm.
Wow. I mean like...wow. NO ONE responded. That's sad.

I hear ya, really I do. I'm 45 and I have one son. Never raised him or had a chance to raise him because his momma was one of those totally whacked out "women's libbers" that felt she could do it all by herself.

It hurts, but there is no easy way to handle it. All I can say is just keep on keeping on.
I wish there was more I could do for you than that, but I'm not sure there is.

 

[adviceplease]

Hi,

Very glad that you have replied. I've tried to overcome this but I'm always hoping that I could do something about it.

It's possible that you will be reunited with your child and that is something to think about.

Thanks again.

 

[Cactus Jack]

I'll pray for you.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I would first look into how healthy it would be at your age to carry a baby. I know that the number of issues for those having children later in life are added to. I might also go see your gynochologist (I know I spelled that wrong) and get their advice as I am sure you are not the only person in this situation.

I wish you well. God bless.

 

[Walt74]

I don't really have any advice for you , just know you're not alone. It's been a depressing issue for me not having any children of my own and it's likely that it just isn't going to happen for me. I still consider myself lucky, however, as I have some nieces and nephews in my life, but it just isn't the same. I'm the one that ends up with the camera at family events taking all of the group photos.

 

[adviceplease]

I'll pray for you.

Thank you

 

[adviceplease]

I would first look into how healthy it would be at your age to carry a baby. I know that the number of issues for those having children later in life are added to. I might also go see your gynochologist (I know I spelled that wrong) and get their advice as I am sure you are not the only person in this situation.

I wish you well. God bless.

Appreciate you replying. Yes, there are others who also would like to have a child at my age. Some actually get pregnant and there are those who have egg donation or embryo donation. I'm wondering if it's acceptable to have embryo donation at the medical institutions that are in the business of providing egg donors and sperm donors, who are not in a relationship? Would it be wrong to use a place like this to get pregnant? Do you or anyone else here know of someone around my age getting pregnant or possibly starting a family?

 

[adviceplease]

I don't really have any advice for you , just know you're not alone. It's been a depressing issue for me not having any children of my own and it's likely that it just isn't going to happen for me. I still consider myself lucky, however, as I have some nieces and nephews in my life, but it just isn't the same. I'm the one that ends up with the camera at family events taking all of the group photos.

I hope you haven't given up and I'm sure it could happen for you. It would be nice for you to have children if you really do like them.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Appreciate you replying. Yes, there are others who also would like to have a child at my age. Some actually get pregnant and there are those who have egg donation or embryo donation. I'm wondering if it's acceptable to have embryo donation at the medical institutions that are in the business of providing egg donors and sperm donors, who are not in a relationship? Would it be wrong to use a place like this to get pregnant? Do you or anyone else here know of someone around my age getting pregnant or possibly starting a family?

I would never offer you advice about a medical issue I know nothing about. Have you tried a forum that specifically talks about fertility issues? I think maybe take some time to research on Google. I'm sure there are also costs associated with this, but the people who have already done what you would like to do really are the best resource for you. Not me.

I hope that you find your answers. From someone in the medical field or someone who has actually done what you would like to do.

 

[Walt74]

I hope you haven't given up and I'm sure it could happen for you. It would be nice for you to have children if you really do like them.

No, I haven't given up the idea, but I try not to focus on it either. God provides everything I need and perhaps I'm simply not ready. I love kids very much and I enjoy mentoring them. I try to get them interested in art, music, and writing. I get the feeling you really love kids, too and I can offer my prayers. It will happen so don't you give up either. Believe.

 

[adviceplease]

I would never offer you advice about a medical issue I know nothing about. Have you tried a forum that specifically talks about fertility issues? I think maybe take some time to research on Google. I'm sure there are also costs associated with this, but the people who have already done what you would like to do really are the best resource for you. Not me.

I hope that you find your answers. From someone in the medical field or someone who has actually done what you would like to do.

I wouldn't expect anyone to offer medical advice. What I'd like to know is whether from a Christian perspective, you or anyone thinks it's acceptable to use these medical institutions to get pregnant? I'm not sure what to do and I'd like to know what Christians think, that's all.

 

[Walt74]

Maybe this will help. https://carm.org/what-does-bible-say-about-artificial-insemination

 

[adviceplease]

No, I haven't given up the idea, but I try not to focus on it either. God provides everything I need and perhaps I'm simply not ready. I love kids very much and I enjoy mentoring them. I try to get them interested in art, music, and writing. I get the feeling you really love kids, too and I can offer my prayers. It will happen so don't you give up either. Believe.

Thanks,

No, I haven't given up the idea, but I try not to focus on it either. God provides everything I need and perhaps I'm simply not ready. I love kids very much and I enjoy mentoring them. I try to get them interested in art, music, and writing. I get the feeling you really love kids, too and I can offer my prayers. It will happen so don't you give up either. Believe.

Thanks, appreciate that. I'm also wondering whether I should accept being without children but for some reason, I keep getting anxious about it and I read about others having children at my age online but I don't know many people around here that have had them at my age. In that case, should I accept things as they are? The reason I brought it up is because I want would like to know what Christians think of using anonymous donors to have children. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

 

[adviceplease]

Maybe this will help. https://carm.org/what-does-bible-say-about-artificial-insemination

Thanks for the link. That article applies to using donor sperm and possibly egg donation. However, there is also embryo donation, whereby embryos are created as back ups from egg and sperm donors at the medical institutions. The embryos would therefore already exist to be used to help someone to get pregnant. I would probably be more interested in doing this.

 

[Walt74]

Thanks,

Thanks, appreciate that. I'm also wondering whether I should accept being without children but for some reason, I keep getting anxious about it and I read about others having children at my age online but I don't know many people around here that have had them at my age. In that case, should I accept things as they are? The reason I brought it up is because I want would like to know what Christians think of using anonymous donors to have children. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

To that I offer this http://biblehub.com/mark/9-37.htm I honestly think you should follow your heart. If you're sincere and can offer a healthy and safe environment for a child, how is it wrong when it's done out of love?

 

[BRICaBRAC]

Are you considering adoption?

 

[adviceplease]

To that I offer this http://biblehub.com/mark/9-37.htm I honestly think you should follow your heart. If you're sincere and can offer a healthy and safe environment for a child, how is it wrong when it's done out of love?

Thank's I like those verses that you linked to. The way I see it is, that before I do anything I have to believe that it's not immoral to have embryo donation at these medical institutions in Europe. They are actually providing donors in return for payment they are happy to donate their eggs and/or sperm. However, they will always remain anonymous to the children and they won't be traceable. So, I'm wondering if It's moral to use medical institutions which purposely offer egg and sperm donation? Even the embryos are created from these donor eggs and sperm on purpose to help women have children. So, there will be potentially siblings in existence elsewhere in world and they won't know they're related. I've prayed about this and I still don't know for sure whether it's the right thing to do. Also, I have to think about they effect it would have on the child later on. Perhaps, they wouldn't want to know their genetics and they would be happy anyway.

If it's morally ok to have embryo donation, then my next concern is my age and what will people think. I know that it shouldn't matter what others think but I come from a small place where everyone judges or makes comments about things. I am so worried they'll think I'm too old and this is something that is also stopping me from pursuing this. I don't think I would be able to deal with all the criticism and so on. I don't find it very easy to make friends as it is and this would make me very self-conscious. Saying, that though, I can't seem to put the idea of having a child out of my mind and I know there are other women in the world who are having children at my age. I wish I knew them personally as that would make it easier.

Regards

 

[adviceplease]

Are you considering adoption?

I like the idea of adoption and would be interested in having a small child but I'm also considering embryo donation and don't know which I should be pursuing.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I wouldn't expect anyone to offer medical advice. What I'd like to know is whether from a Christian perspective, you or anyone thinks it's acceptable to use these medical institutions to get pregnant? I'm not sure what to do and I'd like to know what Christians think, that's all.

Well, I think from a practical side that God does not mind you having sperm or an ovary donated.

I would say that one issue is that God meant for a child to have both a mother and father which we know because God wants us to be married before we have sexual intercourse and to be devoted to each other.

I would say that that may be some issue. If you had a strong male role-model who was committed throughout the life of the child to handle that role, that would be good. But it would have to be a serious commitment because God knows that kids need a male in their lives.

I would say that God would also want you to be able to have enough time. Being a single parent is very hard and you do loose time with your child (or you can) so having a good support system for you and the child would be important. Other people who will step up to help.

Good luck to you.