My niece died.. a poem about her:

blue_eyes1313

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My niece died on Thanksgiving day. I wrote a poem about her to give to her mom (my sister). Before I give it to her, I would really like you comments/critisicm. Thanks a lot! --Kenzie

Janai

An angel gone to glory
Saved by God's amazing grace
How sorely she is missed

Trapped inside her dying body
She was waiting for her time
Every day, she grasped life
with such strength

We desperately held onto her
Held her back for a while
But the Lord giveth and taketh away

Now the Lord has come for her
She can run, play, laugh
With wings like a butterfly

An angel gone to glory
Saved by God's amazing grace
How sorely she is missed.



Thanks!
 

FOMWatts<><

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You have quite a moving talent for poetry. It is good that you have discovered that the best poetry does not rhyme but has rythm in its meaning. It is very nice in its flow, and could be expanded on, but some things are better left short and to the point. Good poem!

FOMWatts<><
 
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