My daughter wants to become an actress

[Dunkin]

Something impressed upon me since I was a teen, and that I have also tried to impress upon my children, is that acting is not a good career choice for a Christian (unless you can restrict yourself to Christian productions). Nothing is inherently sinful with acting and theater as long as it is regulated by moral decency but obviously in our current culture it mostly is not. In addition to the depravity we see in modern movies and tv, I had friends in my youth who majored in theater in college and from them I learned about some of the disturbing things that go on in college drama courses and experimental theatre.

My daughter is 16, and in spite of my misgivings about drama and acting, I've allowed her to take drama in high school in conjunction with a creative writing and literature course. There's been nothing immoral about the silly little plays she's done in the school cafeteria and it seems to have done her good. She had become gloomy before but her drama activities have put a spark in her, motivated her and given her some confidence. However she's now become more serious about acting and hopes to take drama classes this summer at a community college. She's also thinking about majoring in theater and pursuing acting professionally. It's also become clear to me that she has no thought of restricting her acting to Christian settings and themes. In fact her faith is clearly in the process of weakening now.

She knows how I feel about this subject and I believe I should put my foot down on this matter not allow her to take any college drama classes. However, at the same time, I hate to take that spark out of her and see her become gloomy again. She seems so happy and eager when she speaks about acting and I struggle with the idea of deflating her hopes and possibly provoking rebellion in her.

Any input? Am I being too cautious and strict? Will I do more harm than good if I try to keep my daughter from her aspirations? Or am I just being weak and emotionally manipulated? I realize I cannot control what she does with her life but I can control what I will support while she is under my charge. In additional to the moral implications of acting, it is not a practical career to pursue. Furthermore she is a good student and has potential to do any number of things with her life. I would hate to see her throw it away.

Thanks for any thoughts anyone can share with me on this.

 

[CelticRose]

My first thought, & I will say this as gently & kindly as I can, the problem is not the acting. The problem is within your daughter & her relationship with Christ. I have a daughter in the creative industries & know first hand this is not a culture that supports & sustains faith. My college minor was drama & yes, it was a pretty appalling atmosphere.

I would firstly be praying for wisdom because you only have so many years left where you can influence her choices. Secondly I would be working on building her relationship with Christ. It is not enough just to go to church & read her bible or attend youth fellowships or whatever you & your church do. She needs to have a living vital relationship with Christ guided & sustained by the Holy Spirit with an understanding that obedience is better than sacrifice. Without this all else is blowing in the wind.

 

[BasedTonyEver]

Seems to me you are massively overreacting and relaxing a bit would help all sides.

Blaming a "culture" on not supporting or sustaining faith is really a copout as true faith should be able to resist all of these influences. It sounds like you are both not sure in your own faith and that you are letting that reflect on the attitudes of your daughters.

The most important thing that you both seem to miss is ensuring that your daughters both understand the economic reality of acting and how it may be a fun hobby, but that the likelihood of making it a career is very small.

 

[parsley]

The drama classes will transfer into other programs -- either as liberal arts electives, or possibly phys ed (if exercises or dance for theater). She can ask an advisor for suggestions on what courses are more likely to be accepted later.

And if she begins a program in drama, that can feed into an education program, depending on the state or country.

Why not suggest that she listen to TED and Youtube/hulu interviews of actors speaking about getting into the profession. That way she's hearing it from them, not you.

Some interesting transitions happened with Amanda Bynes, who was always so full of spunk and wit. Her latest statements were about being fed up with the business behind doing what she had loved. I am not saying you can make your teen watch these or manipulate her through negative input, but allow her to hear it from someone who has been through it.

You probably know of the reality of careers in the arts -- people compete for short-term grants, short contracts, leading workshops... it can be grueling work to make a living "doing what you love." All the arts are very subjective, and the product-service success is based on what people flock toward momentarily.

Will I do more harm than good if I try to keep my daughter from her aspirations?

I think you know the answer to this.

It seemed offensive that you called your daughter's efforts "silly little plays" when these had transformed her demeanor, and meant so much to her. You want her to be drawn closer to God, but could be pushing her away by implying her aspirations mean nothing.

Even if you don't relate to the arts, that does not mean she cannot be successful doing things that appear frivolous. Look at the millions of dollars passing through the movie industry, gaming, craft stores, television... there are people making good money, even when the odds are low.

The atmosphere and friendships might be hard to understand, but I can relate to her interest in being around creative, expressive people. Sometimes more loving. Things are looser in a good way, not just a dangerous way. The mind breaks free of regimentation, to synthesize ideas more readily... while also learning intense self-discipline.

 

[parsley]

Patsy Rodenburg | Speaker | TED.com
Maysoon Zayid | Speaker | TED.com
Sarah Kaminsky | Speaker | TED.com
Aimee Mullins | Speaker | TED.com
Esther K. Chae | TED Fellow | TED.com
Thandie Newton: Embracing otherness, embracing myself | Talk Video | TED.com
Robert Gupta: Music is medicine, music is sanity | Talk Video | TED.com
Tim Brown: Tales of creativity and play | Talk Video | TED.com

(I haven't watched all these)

If you want to set down some rules, then do it in a way that shows you care about her. Help her find schools that encourage dual majors. Besides education, there are new programs springing up in community arts management... which would prepare her to manage theatres, arts centers, agencies.

She will say she's not interested in mgt, but you can explain that it's good to understand how administrators and financiers think, and relating to them will open up more opportunities for her.

There are summer Methodist-based centers that host the arts in a very mature way. Students often work there for the summers, and attend some of the lectures and workshops.

Chautauqua Institution - NY
The Colorado Chautauqua Association
Traveling Culture: Circuit Chautauqua

 

[bluemarkus]

there are few professions who wield more power than those of the actor. there are few professions more reprobate than that of the actor.

 

[bluemarkus]

acting is not a profession, it is a career in organized crime.

 

[RhaegarTargaryen]

acting is not a profession, it is a career in organized crime.

No

 

[homeofmew]

I think you should let her do what she want when it comes to a career.
It's not like she wants to be an exotic dancer.

 

[Pastor Thom]

I think there are many spiritual traps in the entertainment industry and while I know that every job has inherent spiritual risks its just plain obvious that some are more prone to celebrating darkness than others. I would ask questions to reveal motivation - if God is clearly calling her into acting then I believe He will equip her with what she needs to succeed and stay strong spiritually, on the other hand if it is a pride thing, or just an interest she may be putting herself at risk. We do need strong Christians in every walk of life and she may very well bring light into a dark place. At the end of the day I don't think you can make you daughter do anything nor do I think it's worth risking your relationship over. Tell her your concerns, pray with her and then support her whatever her decision it. God bless!

 

[Adelyn Woodcock]

Just let her dream what she wants to be. My 2-year old wants to be a grocery store cashier. I guess it will still change right?

As long as we guide them, whatever they want to be would be does not matter really.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I advise not shying away from a career choice because the person is worried about their faith. To me the importance is establishing faith and a relationship with God to where you wouldn't have to worry about outside influences anymore - because you are fine where you are, already standing so firm in yourself and being with God that you wouldn't worry about outside influences shaking you up. I wouldn't be concerned at this time about your daughters choice. And realistically speaking, teens change their minds all the time on career choices. This may be something she changes about later - but drama class is fun; I was in it myself in high school, it's creative and rewarding.

 

[Mercy Mc Hass]

This is a tough one. HOWEVER. I'm in the creative arts myself. I had aspirations of being an artist all throughout my childhood, and my dad never encouraged it. Partially because I'm very smart and got really good grades. Regardless, I'm a graphic designer and artist.

However, I've also dabbled into modeling, and the industry is VERY provocative and competitive. Meaning, at the end of the day, most girls (and guys) are willing to do anything for their first (or second, or third) job. It's not a practical career choice, but neither was mine.

Also, my husband is in filmmaking, and there ARE Christian people in the industry. It's just really tough and the atmosphere is usually pretty anti-Christian. But I agree with some of the other people on here. Her faith is the foundation of all her decisions. And if that's not strong, it doesn't matter what rules you put down. You can't stop her, she's almost a grown woman.

Something impressed upon me since I was a teen, and that I have also tried to impress upon my children, is that acting is not a good career choice for a Christian (unless you can restrict yourself to Christian productions). Nothing is inherently sinful with acting and theater as long as it is regulated by moral decency but obviously in our current culture it mostly is not. In addition to the depravity we see in modern movies and tv, I had friends in my youth who majored in theater in college and from them I learned about some of the disturbing things that go on in college drama courses and experimental theatre.

My daughter is 16, and in spite of my misgivings about drama and acting, I've allowed her to take drama in high school in conjunction with a creative writing and literature course. There's been nothing immoral about the silly little plays she's done in the school cafeteria and it seems to have done her good. She had become gloomy before but her drama activities have put a spark in her, motivated her and given her some confidence. However she's now become more serious about acting and hopes to take drama classes this summer at a community college. She's also thinking about majoring in theater and pursuing acting professionally. It's also become clear to me that she has no thought of restricting her acting to Christian settings and themes. In fact her faith is clearly in the process of weakening now.

She knows how I feel about this subject and I believe I should put my foot down on this matter not allow her to take any college drama classes. However, at the same time, I hate to take that spark out of her and see her become gloomy again. She seems so happy and eager when she speaks about acting and I struggle with the idea of deflating her hopes and possibly provoking rebellion in her.

Any input? Am I being too cautious and strict? Will I do more harm than good if I try to keep my daughter from her aspirations? Or am I just being weak and emotionally manipulated? I realize I cannot control what she does with her life but I can control what I will support while she is under my charge. In additional to the moral implications of acting, it is not a practical career to pursue. Furthermore she is a good student and has potential to do any number of things with her life. I would hate to see her throw it away.

Thanks for any thoughts anyone can share with me on this.