My conversion story and confusion.

[h_lektronika]

Hello everyone,

I am still new here, so I suppose I should give some background information on myself in order to fully explain my situation. This is LONG, and i'm sorry if it's boring. I'm just dealing with a lot of issues as a new Christian and it's hard to get useful answers to my questions without giving significant background.

I grew up Mormon. I was married in an LDS temple and had a child with my husband. Not long after that he began having multiple affairs and was emotionally cruel to me. We divorced, and I began dating again a while afterwards.

A few months ago I met a wonderful man who was not LDS, but a very devout Christian who had attended a bible college and had considered becoming a minister at one point. We started dating casually, and then I tried to break up with him when it became more serious, because I knew he wasn't LDS and couldn't provide me with a typical Mormon household that my church taught me to seek after. He told me that he wanted to know more about my church. So he started coming to sacrament meetings with me and taking missionary lesson discussions. He was very serious about it, studying the Book of Mormon almost daily and I was actually wondering if there was a chance he might convert.

Then he blindsided me one night as he sat me down and told me that he needed to have a talk with me. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that he had been praying very hard about the Mormon church and asking God if he should join. He told me that not only should he NOT join the church, but that he needed to talk to ME about the reasons he couldn't. I was a little confused, until he pulled out his bible and spent the next forty-five minutes showing me passages in the bible that completely and totally destroyed my entire faith. He ended the conversation by telling me that he was terrified that he would never see me again because he knew that this topic would offend me, but that he couldn't ignore the instruction he had received from God to tell me the "truth" about my church.

I stormed out of the house that night with the intent of never speaking to him again. How DARE he tell me that the Mormon church wasn't the true church of the Lord? How DARE he tell me that the Book of Mormon wasn't the gospel of Christ, and that Joseph Smith wasn't really a prophet? I was enraged.....until I actually began thinking about what he had said to me that night. The scriptures certainly proved that he was correct, and I remorsefully went back to his house later and asked him to tell me more about what he believed.

I was kind of in amazement. Christianity was so....simple. It was vastly different from the Mormon church. He took me to a non-denominational church too. I had never realized how different it was, the Mormon church always told me our church was JUST LIKE every other Christian church (lie) and that the only difference was that we had the FULLNESS of the gospel. But it wasn't at all. And the message that was being preached WAS totally different. And frankly, it made a lot more sense.

My boyfriend helped me learn how to pray. And that sounds silly being a practicing Mormon for so long....but my prayers were always so dry and didn't feel like anything. But praying was different after that....it actually feels like i'm talking WITH someone, like i'm having a conversation with my father....it's very hard to explain. Praying feels more intimate now, not just like a ritual.

It wasn't long after that I prayed that Christ would forgive me for all my past mistakes, and told him that I wanted to follow him instead of the Mormon church. My boyfriend baptized me the next day. I've never been happier, or felt more free. I sent in my resignation to the Mormon church a couple of weeks ago.

But as happy as I am to be a Christian, there are some struggles. The first being my fellowship is positively gone. All of my friends and family were Mormon. I have no friends that will speak to me at all, not even in passing. My father will not speak to me whatsoever now, nor will my grandparents or aunts/uncles. My mom will talk to me still, but it's strained. She just doesn't understand why I left. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen.

What's more is that i've been attending a new church with my boyfriend. It a WONDERFUL church, with such great music and such a wonderful lesson every Sunday! But it's difficult to fit in here, i'm not used to having to work to make friends at church. The Mormon church is kind of a nanny of sorts, when you are new you are kind of enveloped by people leading you around by the hand, telling you who to talk to and what classes to take. You are always assigned a visiting teacher who comes to your house and becomes your friend. It's almost like you have built in friends the minute you step foot in the Mormon church. The few Christian churches i've been to aren't like that. I ADORE the church I attend now for their doctrinal emphasis and their music, but it's SO HARD to make friends. Which i really need right now, because I pretty much just have my boyfriend and God. We tried contacting the ministry to see if I could get involved in any bible study or women's classes or just SOMETHING but they won't answer my calls or emails. The people are wary of me, because they know I used to be Mormon (I was very active in the Mormon church with a lot of responsibilities, the people in the area know me as "that Mormon girl") SO they aren't super friendly or accepting when I try and approach them.

I don't really know what to do, i've been praying to make more friends who are Christian. I want to be involved, my nights are seriously SO EMPTY right now. The Mormon church constantly kept me busy and I was always with friends. It's so different now. I struggle with it a lot. I'm crying almost daily because I feel so lonely and left out. I've never dealt with this before.

I also struggle with the difference in doctrine. There are a lot of things I don't know or understand and I feel stupid for asking questions. But it's really so different. I have a hard time adjusting and I don't really know what to do.

Last of all, im considering attending a Christian college in the area. I think it would be a really good opportunity to get some more doctrinal knowledge and a deeper understanding of the bible. Is that a good idea or a bad idea considering i'm such a new convert with such a difficult background? Would I be accepted there? Would i get anything out of a Christian College experience, or am I still too new in the faith? (I'm 23 by the way, still haven't gone to college because I was a stay at home mother and my former husband told me not to go to college)

I guess my overall question is this: are my problems common amongst all new converts? Or is this because i'm a former mormon?

So sorry for the length, I just had a lot of frustrations to let out....

 

[Shieldy]

Everyone is always confused about something, I would be hard pressed to trust someone that doesn't. The flesh can't understand the things of the spirit and we are constantly struggling with the flesh. The intimate relationship is the reason God created you and finding that is the greatest accomplishment you can make; what reason do Mormons offer for creation BTW?

Manipulative love is the strongest tool that cults use, love bomb at the start then threaten to withdraw. The flesh deals with this previous addiction with painful withdrawal.

I would suggest seeking after healing for this effect and learning to be content to be alone with God and in his presence for periods of time. The best way to do this is continue conversational prayer and be as open and passionate as you would with marriage partner that wants to know you as deep as anyone can know anyone on an intimate level. And keep focusing and trying to understand his love and joy for you. You can't try and love God more, you can only do anything by first being filled with his love.

The major part of the walk to me seems to be:

1. Recognize the out flowing of his spirit.
2. Start accepting more and more of his love.
3. Learn to stop holding on to it because of a lack of trust that he won't supply it in the future.

What growing in faith means is growing to trust in his love, which everyone struggles with all the time.

 

[AlexBP]

h_lektronika,

When I read your post I could empathize with the struggles involved in joining a new church. I was an atheist for the first 23 years of my life, and when I finally started attending church I encountered the same situation. Ideally every Christian would recognize it as part of their duty to welcome every new member (or potential member) with open arms. In reality it's simply a part of human nature that we're more comfortable with people that we've known and trusted for a long time. So in a lot of churches, particularly those with relatively small congregations, one does get the impression that there's an "inner circle" of longtime members which is difficult to break into.

My first piece of advice would be to seek out the minister and have a private conversation with him. Alternately, some churches have a person who (officially or unofficially) is in charge of greeting new members and introducing them to the congregation. In any case, there should be somebody who can give you a hand with these issues.

Second, just keep an eye out for opportunities to join in, especially volunteer opportunities. Volunteering, whether it's at a soup kitchen or simply working on buildings and grounds, is a great way to integrate yourself into the community. Often times there will be groups that meet for dinner which you can join. If that doesn't happen, consider inviting other people over. Be willing to talk honestly about your experiences. That's probably the most important way to get past the barrier of them viewing you as an outsider.

Third, be aware that you're not alone as a former Mormon. We've had quite a number right here on this board in fact. If you search of Google for "Ex Mormons" you'll find a website with thousands of people sharing their stories and resources that can help you. Depending on where you live, there may also be a local group that can assist you and provide moral support.

As far as learning about Christianity, obviously a good study Bible is the most important tool. There are a number of books that are often recommended. Mere Christianity, by C. S. Lewis is the most famous and is very plain and straightforward. The Soul of Christianity, by Hurston Smith, is more recent and extremely well-written. Orthodoxy, by G. K. Chesterton, is more old-fashioned but I personally think it's the best.

But above all else, welcome to the club! My minister often reminds us that as Christians we have 2.3 billion brothers and sisters all over the world and an even greater number in Heaven, so wherever you go you are never truly alone.

 

[savedbygracebre]

You are not alone believe me! I'm a married father of two, who, for the first 35 years of my life followed the world and it's ways. That all changed 6 yeas ago when I became saved. Now(still for the last 6 years)I am still the only one in my entire family who has a relationship with Christ. All of my previous friends were into partying etc.., so those relationships became strained. My wife and I are now still unequally-yoked(a believer married to a non-believer). When I go to church now I go by myself alone(rest of my family is Catholic-I am now Baptist). Thought I would be accepted by my wife's family for becoming a "good moral" person-wrong! Every way that I act more moral makes them feel uncofortable now with their choices. They drink and become drunk and I haven't drank alcohol in over 4 years-drives her parents crazy it seems. My point is that when you take up your cross and TRULY follow the Lord you will cause the world to turn on you sometimes. Read the Gospels(Matthew, Mark, Luke, John)and stay in the New Testament. Pray for the Lord to open your eyes to teach you His Word. Trust me when I tell you that my worst day as a Christian is always going to be better than my best day as a non-Christian. The Journey can be tough, underline tough, but God will see you through. Go find a good church that is open to you and who accepts you for you. You need a good support group. That is what I'm trying to do now as I am lacking real friendships with Christians-and that does make this life more difficult-I say this from experience.

 

[heron]

Everyone is always confused about something, I would be hard pressed to trust someone that doesn't.

Isn't that the truth.

I think you nailed it when you described how Mormons lead people into the fellowship. That is definitely a weakness in contemporary Christianity. Imagine the possibility that others might be feeling the same way! I have gone through that a couple times, and I am usually very active in church, as you were. It is hard when people don't allow you to be your normal self until you have proven capable of handling the leadership.

When I realized what was going on, I determined to be the one to shake hands and invite people places. People were relieved to have someone make the first move. I think the ex-Mormon label is less of an issue for people than inherent shyness. Being too wrapped up in responsibilities, having to keep an eye on their kids, whatever.

Something I have noticed when I am the New Kid and discouraged by how long it takes to form friendships: it is not always friendships that I want, but the openings to be myself in that situation. It might not make sense right away. But if you're in music, make sure you keep up with music at home. Or writing, teaching, whatever. Don't depend on the church to provide your venues, but ask God to use you in whatever way He needs you.

The reason I bring that up is not like giving a consolation prize. I have found for myself that if I go for a hike in the woods with a camera, I feel I am myself again. I will not have the same intensity of need for friendships, if I return to something I love.

You don't recognize the person you have been confined to being.
You are being redefined by people who are choosing to see you differently. Make sure they see who you really are. Don't give them a chance to define you.

About Christian college, it seems the perfect solution. You would be immersed with many others who were also thrown into a new situation. Being an adult student is harder, but a high percentage of students are adults these days. Full-time traditional students are a minority now. Find some campus activities to get involved in. There are some campus things you can do as a member of the community-- like choirs and plays, hearing visiting speakers, attending art exhibits.

Faith decisions shouldn't have to get wrapped up in social needs, but we're just social creatures.

 

[FatherHaveMercy]

First I would like to congrats u on ur conversion to Christianity. 2nd I think that because u have made a conversion people might be a little scared to welcome u. They shouldnt be but thats just the way some people are. U r a baby christian so u r going to get confused and want to ask questions. Every christian gets confused at one point or another. So it normal. Being a christian is not easy or everyone would do it. Its a hard thing but as you get closer to Christ it will be easier. Ur walk with christ is supposed to be an enjoyable thing. I hope I could help u a little bit. If u need a christian friend please feel free to contact me. I am still a baby christian so I dont have many christian friends yet. Hugs and CONGRATS again. ~Lord Gives Me Strength

 

[Criada]

First of all, welcome to CF, and even more so, to the family of God

I'm sorry that church is hard... I don't know what your church is like... but maybe if possible you could find a smaller church, where everyone knows one another. I have also found, as others have mentioned, that in every gathering there are people who feel shy, excluded, out of place... look for others who are on their own and make a point of talking to them - they are probably as eager to make friends as you are.

I think that a Christian college sounds a great idea, and it's another way of finding fellowship with other Christians as well. I don't think many people will be phased by the fact that you were Mormon.. we were all something before we came to Christ, and in Him we are all new creations, the old is gone and the new is come

Praying for you, sweetie.

 

[ChildOfGod97]

I guess my overall question is this: are my problems common amongst all new converts? Or is this because i'm a former mormon?

So sorry for the length, I just had a lot of frustrations to let out....

Everyone comes from somewhere. In many ways Mormonism is less a cult then some "non-cultic" Christian denominations. And any Christian church can become cultic. I hate to tell you this. These are dangerous times. And they are dangerous exactly because 'light is as darkness, and darkness is as light'.

It does not take much for a church to go overboard. All they need to do is start to believe they alone are right and focus on legalism so much they lose all sight of grace -- even though almost any pseudo-Christian group is bound to mouth the words of grace.

You should pick up some books on cults and what it is like.

Mormonism is actually one of the lighter ones to leave not because of the lack of focus on legalism, nor because of the erroneous doctrines, but because Mormons believe Christians are not going to eternal Hell, at least. A lot of cultic church groups see everyone but their little church as going to hell because of such rules not being followed as going to their specific groups.

Do not think, on the other hand, that you have seen what all churches are like because you have gone to one or two. Or five. Or ten. Because in Free World countries the majority of people are Christian. There are a ton of different churches of all types of flavor.

My first wife left mormonism. Her parents were very unforgiving at first. But, now, they get along great. She is not mormon still. They have really loosened up and are much better people now. My current wife left Jehovah Witnesses which is a very intense cult. Her mom is deeply into it. Both my wife and her sister have left and the difficulties with the mother have been intense.

That brand of cult is far worse. They believe just about everyone and everything is "of the Devil". They are incredibly superstitious and judgmental and constantly living in fear of the Devil.

It has helped both to find friends elsewhere, so that is important. Not every church is good for that. If you go into a church as a new member and people are not talking to you, or no one says anything to you this may be a bad choice.

There are two types of churches where people will go out of their way to befriend new members and invite them to social meetings and home churches and the like: one type is genuine and expects nothing from you. The other type is cultic and the members are simply trying to earn or keep their salvation by getting more members to the group.


Finding the right church then can be difficult, but also involves faith. Study doctrine well by yourself. Read Scripture, the New Testament without excessive guides. You have the anointing and as John says in his second letter, "the anointing teaches you all things, you do not need a teacher". John also quoted Jesus as saying the same in his gospel.

Teachers are nice to have and good friends we always learn from. But remember, just as you pray now and have dialogue instead of a running, dry monologue... so, too, should all of your life be.

Above all: the true church is your body, the Temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in your heart. Listen to the Spirit.

Learn to quiet yourself inwardly as though in your heart you are before the Lord. For you are. Listening means to be open minded and believing, to have reverence and seek the voice of the Lord.

The fruits of the Spirit are such as peace and joy which should make you feel awesome regardless of circumstances.

Such is like the wide eyed wonderment of a child staring in a meadow, of a peaceful, sunny day. Of revelation and contentment which nothing outwardly can ever give.

So above all, seek first to build up in that, in knowledge of the Kingdom of Heaven, of God, inwardly, then you have something to share with people regardless of whether they are shy or cold.

You may also find comfort in books of others who have left such groups, and there are various online gathering places for such members.

There may, as well, be other groups to socialize with in your town. My own wife goes to a "mom's club".

 

[Jpark]

Hello everyone,

I am still new here, so I suppose I should give some background information on myself in order to fully explain my situation. This is LONG, and i'm sorry if it's boring. I'm just dealing with a lot of issues as a new Christian and it's hard to get useful answers to my questions without giving significant background.

I grew up Mormon. I was married in an LDS temple and had a child with my husband. Not long after that he began having multiple affairs and was emotionally cruel to me. We divorced, and I began dating again a while afterwards.

A few months ago I met a wonderful man who was not LDS, but a very devout Christian who had attended a bible college and had considered becoming a minister at one point. We started dating casually, and then I tried to break up with him when it became more serious, because I knew he wasn't LDS and couldn't provide me with a typical Mormon household that my church taught me to seek after. He told me that he wanted to know more about my church. So he started coming to sacrament meetings with me and taking missionary lesson discussions. He was very serious about it, studying the Book of Mormon almost daily and I was actually wondering if there was a chance he might convert.

Surely he is a devout Christian.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

The apostle Paul was willing to conform to the customs of other people, whether Jews or Gentiles, in order to bring them to Christ.

Then he blindsided me one night as he sat me down and told me that he needed to have a talk with me. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that he had been praying very hard about the Mormon church and asking God if he should join. He told me that not only should he NOT join the church, but that he needed to talk to ME about the reasons he couldn't. I was a little confused, until he pulled out his bible and spent the next forty-five minutes showing me passages in the bible that completely and totally destroyed my entire faith. He ended the conversation by telling me that he was terrified that he would never see me again because he knew that this topic would offend me, but that he couldn't ignore the instruction he had received from God to tell me the "truth" about my church.

I stormed out of the house that night with the intent of never speaking to him again. How DARE he tell me that the Mormon church wasn't the true church of the Lord? How DARE he tell me that the Book of Mormon wasn't the gospel of Christ, and that Joseph Smith wasn't really a prophet? I was enraged.....until I actually began thinking about what he had said to me that night. The scriptures certainly proved that he was correct, and I remorsefully went back to his house later and asked him to tell me more about what he believed.

He has obeyed God, putting his ministry of the gospel above his personal desires.

The Scriptures with the convicting power of the Holy Spirit have certainly persuaded you.

I was kind of in amazement. Christianity was so....simple. It was vastly different from the Mormon church. He took me to a non-denominational church too. I had never realized how different it was, the Mormon church always told me our church was JUST LIKE every other Christian church (lie) and that the only difference was that we had the FULLNESS of the gospel. But it wasn't at all. And the message that was being preached WAS totally different. And frankly, it made a lot more sense.

My boyfriend helped me learn how to pray. And that sounds silly being a practicing Mormon for so long....but my prayers were always so dry and didn't feel like anything. But praying was different after that....it actually feels like i'm talking WITH someone, like i'm having a conversation with my father....it's very hard to explain. Praying feels more intimate now, not just like a ritual.

It wasn't long after that I prayed that Christ would forgive me for all my past mistakes, and told him that I wanted to follow him instead of the Mormon church. My boyfriend baptized me the next day. I've never been happier, or felt more free. I sent in my resignation to the Mormon church a couple of weeks ago.

Yes.

Very good.

Excellent!

But as happy as I am to be a Christian, there are some struggles. The first being my fellowship is positively gone. All of my friends and family were Mormon. I have no friends that will speak to me at all, not even in passing. My father will not speak to me whatsoever now, nor will my grandparents or aunts/uncles. My mom will talk to me still, but it's strained. She just doesn't understand why I left. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen.

What's more is that i've been attending a new church with my boyfriend. It a WONDERFUL church, with such great music and such a wonderful lesson every Sunday! But it's difficult to fit in here, i'm not used to having to work to make friends at church. The Mormon church is kind of a nanny of sorts, when you are new you are kind of enveloped by people leading you around by the hand, telling you who to talk to and what classes to take. You are always assigned a visiting teacher who comes to your house and becomes your friend. It's almost like you have built in friends the minute you step foot in the Mormon church. The few Christian churches i've been to aren't like that. I ADORE the church I attend now for their doctrinal emphasis and their music, but it's SO HARD to make friends. Which i really need right now, because I pretty much just have my boyfriend and God. We tried contacting the ministry to see if I could get involved in any bible study or women's classes or just SOMETHING but they won't answer my calls or emails. The people are wary of me, because they know I used to be Mormon (I was very active in the Mormon church with a lot of responsibilities, the people in the area know me as "that Mormon girl") SO they aren't super friendly or accepting when I try and approach them.

I don't really know what to do, i've been praying to make more friends who are Christian. I want to be involved, my nights are seriously SO EMPTY right now. The Mormon church constantly kept me busy and I was always with friends. It's so different now. I struggle with it a lot. I'm crying almost daily because I feel so lonely and left out. I've never dealt with this before.

My only friends are my father and God.

I also struggle with the difference in doctrine. There are a lot of things I don't know or understand and I feel stupid for asking questions. But it's really so different. I have a hard time adjusting and I don't really know what to do.

You can send me a PM if you want. Just ask the questions.

Last of all, im considering attending a Christian college in the area. I think it would be a really good opportunity to get some more doctrinal knowledge and a deeper understanding of the bible. Is that a good idea or a bad idea considering i'm such a new convert with such a difficult background? Would I be accepted there? Would i get anything out of a Christian College experience, or am I still too new in the faith? (I'm 23 by the way, still haven't gone to college because I was a stay at home mother and my former husband told me not to go to college)

I guess my overall question is this: are my problems common amongst all new converts? Or is this because i'm a former mormon?

So sorry for the length, I just had a lot of frustrations to let out....

You would learn a lot about the Scripture.

Yes, your problems are common.

 

[heymikey80]

Hey, I recognize a lot of what you're saying from when I was proselytized by Mormons. There is a lot of organization within an LDS church, and its hierarchical structure guarantees consistency across the different stakes.

Most churches don't follow a clear path of this sort.

We've had other new Christians (and ex-Mormons) question the apparently sink or swim method of working with people in the church. And yes, I for one think there should be a predictable series of actions integrating new Christians 'til they get their footing. On the other hand, some people think the church can be overbearing with such things.

In terms of fellowship, see if you can get involved in a small group fellowship. In our church this is just about essential. Different groups appeal to different needs and personalities. Find one that fits. Often when people see a need in a church, they're probably appropriate administers for it. You're sensitive. You can evaluate the effect of a new ministry. God gives us these people like you.

Clearly you'd need people -- actual ministers -- to help you with information you don't have, information you're learning. Theology, apologetics, evangelism, those subjects have certain aspects that aren't "learned by doing". They're taught, explained. On the other hand, fellowship, service, missions: many things can be learned by doing, and they offer insight into what'd be explained in educational classes.

It's all needed. Fellowship meetings will help bring people together. Educational lessons help grow people in information. Service and missions help actuate and fulfill the needs of people. And evangelism replicates the mission to new brothers in Christ.

 

[h_lektronika]

Thank you to everyone for your help and ideas.

I really want to be involved in this particular church. I considered other churches but the ones in my area are not what i'm looking for, and it's hard to explain how I feel. I feel extremely drawn to this church, almost as if there was an invisible string pulling me in it's direction. I felt that way before we even began attending, my boyfriend and I had literally never been there nor did we know ANYONE there. We were just driving past it and we both had the strangest feeling simultaneously that we were supposed to be there. We both gave each other a "are you thinking what i'm thinking? look as we drove past it. Lol. So we went the next Sunday.

Don't get me wrong, I love the sermons and I adore the music and the atmosphere. It is almost perfect with exception to the fellowship issue. Which doesn't bother my boyfriend, he doesn't so much care if he never speaks to another member of the church while he's there. But then, his entire family is seriously devoted to Christ so he's got a firm foundation. I on the other hand do not.

I guess it's just complicated for me especially. I held several "callings" in the LDS church, I was the Young Women's President (which means I taught the teen girls every Sunday and Wednesday), I was also a visiting teacher to about ten women (most people only have 3-4 visiting teaching assignments). What's more is that I was an endowed member who did temple sessions every other week.

Before I never had any time to think for more than a second at a time, much less sit alone for an entire night with no one to talk to. I've been praying a lot, which is certainly a good thing. And heavenly father has been helping to take the sting out of my loneliness. But it is still there.

I tried calling the women's bible study leader again a few times this week. I've left two voicemails this week....still no answer. I took it upon myself this week to just march up to random people and introduce myself....they seemed freaked out by that (which I don't get, that's totally different from the LDS church). I just don't know what i'm doing wrong. I'm very friendly and bubbly. I'm almost completely average looking in appearance and dress. I'm not sure what the problem is....

I still feel as though I NEED to be at this church. Haven't the foggiest idea why. My boyfriend feels the same way. He thinks that God may have a plan for us to be there, and I think he's right.

 

[heron]

We were just driving past it and we both had the strangest feeling simultaneously that we were supposed to be there. We both gave each other a "are you thinking what i'm thinking? look as we drove past it. Lol.

Ha ha, well that sounds like the Holy Spirit working in you both.

It is almost perfect with exception to the fellowship issue.

Try to think of it as a learning experience, a place where God wants you right now. Perfection is just closure and security ... a guarantee that we all want so we don't get hurt. But we don't need perfection in a church (although we do need someone to talk to us!!)

God plants people in churches not just because they would benefit from it, but because they help complete the balanced Body of Christ. You have strengths and knowledge that others don't have.

Take, for instance, this issue of hospitality. There is a serious gap in the church. You have training in how to make a newcomer feel welcome. And a passion to correct some of these gaps. When you feel comfortable being there, ask the pastor if you could get involved with the greeting ministry there, or deacon/hospitality work. Start talking with others about ways to solve problems (of course being careful not to sound to them like you're a secret recruiter, lol.)

I took it upon myself this week to just march up to random people and introduce myself....they seemed freaked out

That's great! Freaking out -- that is their problem.

I still feel as though I NEED to be at this church.

It sounds like you do! Ask God what He wants you to do while you're there. All sorts of things come to mind, including healing of their attitudes about outsiders, their bravery in being social, and communication courtesies.

 

[oi_antz]

It sounds to me that you have a very common problem that seems to be overlooked far, far too often: you need to ask Jesus into your life.

Why is this significant you ask? Well, simply put, you are dealing with spiritual matters when you deal with Christianity. When you are without Jesus in your life you are susceptible to all spiritual forces - good, bad, angels, demons and you have no power or perception of them. When you ask Jesus into your life you hand the keys to Him and He takes control of which spirits come into your mind.

It is very very important that you acknowledge your weakness and His unconquerable authority and ask Him into your life for real. When you surrender to Him with your full heart requiring His guidance and support, He knows that you have surrendered your life to Him and He won't turn you away. Ever.

Often this is all you need to do - even baptism is less important than this. I would suggest you ask a priest to help you with this (sounds like your friend is suitably authorised to help you), and once Jesus has come into your life, you need to exercise your newfound spiritual discernment by recognising the thoughts you are having and pick the good ones, rebuke the bad ones until you become strong enough to do this automatically without having to think of it.

Some theologists state that evil thoughts are part of the necessary process of developing holiness - by overcoming evil you are strengthening righteousness. This is the true meaning of repentance which is also often misunderstood: repentance is not about trying to stop addictions or alter your actions and behaviours, it is ALL about nurturing pure thoughts of goodness to the extent that eventually no thoughts of evil will ever come to mind.

Once you have developed into a holy person, your true nature will shine out to the world like the sun through your joy and deeds of goodness, and you'll find everyone is your friend and no-one is your enemy!

JESUS ROCKS!!

 

[JCFantasy23]

Hello everyone,

I am still new here, so I suppose I should give some background information on myself in order to fully explain my situation. This is LONG, and i'm sorry if it's boring. I'm just dealing with a lot of issues as a new Christian and it's hard to get useful answers to my questions without giving significant background.

Trust me, nothing boring about your post at all. I feel for you and am in awe as well. First, it seems wonderful how much your boyfriend was willing to seriously learn about being a Mormon and give it an honest chance, to see if it was the right way for him and also as love for her. Second, it seems amazing to me how when he found it wasn't right for him, how he put God first and told you in a rational, well thought-out way (with chosen bible verses and such) why he felt as he did. Third, I'm in awe and thrilled you have used your mind to come to the sense he is right after further study of the bible.

All in all, a wonderful conversion story.

As for your issues, it really amazes me how much I hear on here about things similar. I do know there are some at the OBOB forums that,when they converted to being Catholic, experienced similar problems with family and friends. I've seen it with other denominations on here as well. Always surprises me. :o I'm sorry you are experiencing this, it's not fun I would imagine.

I would give family more time and if your friends have turned their backs on you, then I wouldn't consider them true friends. As hard as that is to understand, actions do speak louder than words.

For the church....I find it odd how they are acting a bit. Not returning phone calls about attending meetings and groups is not a good sign. Here's hoping that improves. If it doesn't perhaps you and your boyfriend may try other churches together, all new experiences.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Thank you to everyone for your help and ideas.

I really want to be involved in this particular church. I considered other churches but the ones in my area are not what i'm looking for, and it's hard to explain how I feel. I feel extremely drawn to this church, almost as if there was an invisible string pulling me in it's direction. I felt that way before we even began attending, my boyfriend and I had literally never been there nor did we know ANYONE there. We were just driving past it and we both had the strangest feeling simultaneously that we were supposed to be there. We both gave each other a "are you thinking what i'm thinking? look as we drove past it. Lol. So we went the next Sunday.

If you feel that strongly linked to the church, please disregard my suggestion about previously switching. Sounds like you may be drawn there for a reason I (and maybe not you yet) can see. I wish I had that draw to a church but not yet.

I guess it's just complicated for me especially. I held several "callings" in the LDS church, I was the Young Women's President (which means I taught the teen girls every Sunday and Wednesday), I was also a visiting teacher to about ten women (most people only have 3-4 visiting teaching assignments). What's more is that I was an endowed member who did temple sessions every other week.

Before I never had any time to think for more than a second at a time, much less sit alone for an entire night with no one to talk to. I've been praying a lot, which is certainly a good thing. And heavenly father has been helping to take the sting out of my loneliness. But it is still there.

Wow, sounds like you were very busy indeed. It's hard for someone so active to take a back seat, not just with church activities but in general. Sometimes though, we are meant to be still and quiet for a time, absorbing and not doing as much interacting. It is harder for you to do so since you are used to being much busier and more social, and also I am sure you are wanting to jump in and feel that fellowship you are so used to again. Maybe, though, the timing is off and this is one of those times God wants you to "sit still" for a small time? Perhaps being new to Christianity as a convert, you are to learn something else at this time that is not to be distracted by such active fellowship? I have no idea, just throwing out some possibilities.

I tried calling the women's bible study leader again a few times this week. I've left two voicemails this week....still no answer. I took it upon myself this week to just march up to random people and introduce myself....they seemed freaked out by that (which I don't get, that's totally different from the LDS church). I just don't know what i'm doing wrong. I'm very friendly and bubbly. I'm almost completely average looking in appearance and dress. I'm not sure what the problem is....

I still feel as though I NEED to be at this church. Haven't the foggiest idea why. My boyfriend feels the same way. He thinks that God may have a plan for us to be there, and I think he's right.

I'm saddened at how rude the church seems to be. Maybe the women's bible study leader is very busy, or just not good with phone calls (that's my case, too). If she doesn't want you there, that's a personal problem for her she needs to resolve. I hope that it turns out well for you, as you are trying very hard and seem drawn there. It's more reassuring to see that your boyfriend feels the same. How nice you two are establishing some great bonding in your faith I would keep at it like you are doing and when the time it right it should happen, people should give you more of a chance and let their guards down and get to know you.

Wishing you both the best of luck

 

[Wells Marsh]

Dear H Lektronika;

Although my circumstances are a bit different, I can certainly relate to what you have been experiencing.

I was raised in the Mormon Church. My parents were Baptist until shortly after I was born, when they converted. When I was almost 8 my parents divorced because my mom decided she could no longer follow Mormon beliefs. My mom started taking me to a Baptist church, but my dad continued taking me to the Mormon Church when I was with him. Despite the confusion of beliefs and difference in cultures, a visiting Baptist missionary introduced me to Jesus just before I turned 9. (Hallelujah! Praise God! Glory to God!)

At the Mormon Church, I felt like I was part of a big, loving family where everyone seemed to go to such great lengths to bless one another. They have so many activities to fill up you days, weeks, years, etc. Mormonism is not just a religion, it is a lifestyle. I continue to remain puzzled as to why other churches do not follow some of the examples of the Mormon Church. I now suspect it has to do with the Mormon determination to isolate its members from non-Mormons and their necessity to “do good works.”

A number of years ago, when I was spending time with the Lord, I asked Him to help me fill that void left by leaving the Mormon Church. Many members of my church referred to “our Church Family,” but I did not feel like I was a part of their family even after being there for 3 years. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, “Look for a need and fill it.” (I was already active at the church; this was an instruction regarding my “Church Family” members.)

A few days later, an “acquaintance” at church mentioned that she was struggling with planning her daughter’s wedding. I told her I did not know much about planning weddings, but I offered my labor (my husband also offered his labor) – she was shocked. My husband and I did all of the work in the kitchen. We prepared, served, and cleaned up after the reception (for about 70). When asked why we did this, we replied that this is what you do for family. She and I have been the best of friends ever since.

I have followed the Lord’s instruction, as led by Him, on a number of occasions and have quite a few wonderful Godly friends. I would do anything for them and they would do anything for me.

I hope this helps.

Blessings

 

[Mandy_S]

Wow..you certainly have a story to tell..I want to start off by addressing the issue of your parents and friends..The Bible tells us that we will be hated for the name of Christ..In Luke 12:53 it says, "Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
The best thing you can do about your loved ones is to be a witness for Christ and pray for them..We don't know if they will come around or not, just pray for them and do the best you can to make them understand.
As far as the church you are currently attending, I would like to share with you some statistics...It is shown that usually only 20% of a congregation are true Christians. Even though they all profess to be, the true repentant Chrisitans only make up about 20% of the people that attend in a place of worship. Now I am careful to say that only 20% of the church are true Christians, only that the place of worship occupys 20% of true believers..Many people have said, "I don't go to church because it is full of hypocrites" But that is not the case. The true church has no hypocrites, only the building in which we worship. If someone is a hypocrite, they are not part of the body of Christ which is the true church. There are alot of people who assume they are saved because they have prayed a prayer asking Jesus into their heart and that was enough..True salvation comes from putting your entire faith in Jesus Christ and turning from your sins..recognizing that we are all wretched people who don't deserve heaven, we don't deserve the grace He has shown us. Having said that, I just want to tell you that if these people are not accepting you because of your past, it would be wise to look elsewhere if it doesn't get any better..Once we are truly saved our past is no more and we live then on for Christ and to glorify Him, turning from our wicked ways. Visit churches in your area until you find one that preaches totally on salvation through Grace and repentance alone...Make sure the pastor preaches Biblical doctrine and not heresy. It can sometimes be hard to find as so many churches preach heresy without even realizing it..Study your Bible everyday and decide on a church through what His word teaches us. When you find a good Bible teaching church, you should find fellowship with at least 20% of the members. Stay strong in His word, surround yourself with things and people that glorifys God. If you do this, you will continue to grow in Him.

 

[heymikey80]

I still feel as though I NEED to be at this church. Haven't the foggiest idea why. My boyfriend feels the same way. He thinks that God may have a plan for us to be there, and I think he's right.

There's probably going to be something wonderful once you get up to speed with what the church has to offer you.

See, no church is perfect. Every church has phases wherein they need to learn, repent, and reform toward a better way.

Likely you've noticed an area where the church you're in, needs to change. You've probably got an idea how it should change; on the other hand, your ideas may be a little skewed by the ideas and separatism you grew up with.

So get ready -- the change is probably going to involve your changing, too.

But God's probably got your growth in mind, to grow His church as well. No church is perfectly right. The church itself will be needing your commitment to the communion and fellowship (to research it, you might need the Greek term: koinonia) with one another that we all share because we're one family, one assembly, all called to God through Christ.

The attraction you felt is often because of that.

It may even be that the church won't react perfectly to what you learn and grow. As Jesus said, often "a prophet has no honor in his own town." You'll need to show God's love and patience once you've learned and grown. But it'll be a great thing.

I had the same feelings for three churches; two were hungry for what I was learning, one wasn't. I love them all, recommend them all, still feel and appreciate what each group has taught me. What they've "got right" is humbling. What I've got is available freely whenever they need it.

The freedom is a relief. The burden is light. God knows when a group of His followers will change. But He's been way more patient with me, than I've ever needed to be.