Mother-in-law always criticizes my husband

[JesusFlowers&TREX]

I get along pretty well with my mother-in-law--in spite of being very different. She is of Puritan descent. No drinking, no dancing, no cooking with spices, and quilting is her hobby. This is how it is and this is how she is always going to be. Though I was raised in a Christian home like my husband, I was raised in a Christian home in the South. Spices galore and my mother enjoys fishing and shooting. Again, just different. I expected some push back from my mother-in-law when we got married because she does not get along with my sister-in-law at all. I haven't gotten involved, but there is a divide there and both sides are not willing to forgive the other. I know my MIL is very critical about how they raise their kids, etc. My husband and I stay out of it. We live in a different state and do not have kids. He and I just got married this year.

Still, through our dating relationship and now that we are married, she has become increasingly critical. The criticism is never directed towards me, but it is towards my husband. I can post a picture on social media of the two of us and she will comment, "Wow, that beard makes him look old! He needs to shave it!" or "Is that a grey hair I see?" The worst was right after he experienced a layoff at work. He was terribly stressed at the time and didn't have much of an appetite. I was so worried about him. His mom's response? "Well, he is getting fat. He could stand to lose some weight." On another occasion, she called me to ask me what size my husband wore, I told her a medium. She told me that she was thinking about getting him a large/XL because of his weight increase, but when she called my husband, he told her medium and she acted suprised--even though I had told her that already. She makes complaints about his habits and makes comments about how he was a difficult child compared to his older brother.

I don't ever know how to respond to these things and most of the time, I don't. But he is my husband and I love him very much. There are times where I want to passive aggressively send her a Bible verse and there are other times where I want to outright call her out. I don't want to cause a rift between us, but these comments arise everytime I post a picture of us or anytime I talk to her on the phone. I don't really understand her need to criticize her son. He is a very successful attorney. He is a strong Christian. We have a beautiful life and home. Why can't she just make friendly comments that edify him--rather than tear him down? I don't want to "overstep" my bounds by standing up to her, but I do have a problem with her comments towards my husband. And no, my husband does not make any attempt to comment back or anything. He just gets quiet when she is around. I have been praying about this until I'm blue in the face. Does anyone have any advice for how to handle this situation? Thank you!

 

[shelley1952]

Best think just IMO would be just keep your mouth shut for a couple of reasons, if your husband wants to defend himself he will, but since you are talking about his mother if you blast her, it might end up upsetting him, putting you in the middle and could cause harmful thoughts that might someday end up causing trouble between you and your husband and you and your mother-in-law. I would be very careful of that plus if you are the Christian, you should know what the Bible says about respecting elders.

1. Leviticus 19:32 “”Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the LORD.

2. 1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

We all have faults so again, be careful, unless you are perfect. Another thing, as a Christian we are called to walk in love even to loving our enemies. I know from experience, mother in laws can be frightening but who knows, you are young, you may in turn, someday be a mother-in-law. Use discretion carefully.
Just be real supportive of your husband, you build him up, you have the power to do that. Lavish him in love....honey I think you look so good in a beard, that is if you do, lol. Tell him he is a great lawyer, just keep him held up, be that counter balance. But if you start picking on his mom it will make you look bad, but bite your tongue and you Walk in that call of a Godly wife and you will do good. God be with you !
James 1:26 “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”