More than I can handle

[wayfaring man]

All things are possible with God. ( Matthew 19:26, Mark 9:23, 10:27+14:36 & Luke 18:27 )

And Jesus chose to submit to His Father's will and go to the cross. ( Matthew 26:39+42 & Luke 22:42 )

Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangs on a tree: <-----> Galatians 3:13

And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.
This he said, signifying what death he should die. <-----> John 12:32+33

Everything, regarding Jesus' life, death + resurrection happened specifically for certain reasons, well beyond the scope of mortal imaginings/doings.

May The Lord Be Magnified !

wm

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou all for your help over the few weeks. It has been uplifting and informative. I guess I just have to man-up and accept things for what they are. It is not easy when the woman you love with all your heart rejects and betrays you. I never understood others feelings when they have gone through this. I now feel their pain. The old saying walk a mile in my shoes has more meaning to me now more than ever. If it were not for my faith in God I would see no light at the end of the tunnel. If any man could ever say he was in love, it was I. I will never understand the why's. All the things we use to look forward to doing are gone. I know it is hard to believe but she was the most wonderful God fearing wife any man would want. I do not believe it was an act. What happened I cannot explain or understand. The only place I know to go is on my knees before my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

[Life2Christ]

I know it is hard to believe but she was the most wonderful God fearing wife any man would want. I do not believe it was an act. What happened I cannot explain or understand.

The biggest lesson I learned is not to put my faith in any person. Because of our natural selfish tendencies, it is very easy for family members to turn against each other. Never take your eye off the Lord for He is never-changing and always steady. When you are ready, you will find it in your heart to forgive your wife. It might be too early right now. Only God knows what is going on in your wife's heart, you will never know.

 

[HoseaMan]

Some things are so hard to learn. I still hope my wife comes back to living her life for the Lord. She still goes to church and a bible study. She is hearing the word. I hope with her heart and mind.If she does that maybe she will come back to me. I have giving it to God. So I will be ok at some point

 

[HoseaMan]

I feel bad I have been so caught up in my problem I have forgot to mention my sister. She is having a hard time with this situation also. She is having a hard time with her faith. She does not understand why God does not hammer her husband and my wife. I would like prayer for her. Thankyou

 

[Catherineanne]

I feel bad I have been so caught up in my problem I have forgot to mention my sister. She is having a hard time with this situation also. She is having a hard time with her faith. She does not understand why God does not hammer her husband and my wife. I would like prayer for her. Thankyou

The simple answer is that God does not work that way. Free will is just that; the freedom to make mistakes, and even to hurt other people sometimes. It is only if we render our free will up to God, and ask him to direct our steps from now on, that we can hope to not make this kind of mistake. And even then, we sometimes get it wrong.

Nobody is perfect, in other words, and sometimes bad things happen, even to the best of us. Our faith is not one in which we are safely protected from all the evils in the world; that is unrealistic, and it is also contrary to the gospel. If Christ himself had to die in order to follow the will of God, then we really can't expect to have a path of roses for ourselves. The path to God is narrow, and it is difficult. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise simply doesn't understand our faith.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou Catherineanne, this forum has been good for me. This is a new situation for me. I am trying to understand it all. God has not promised us a rose garden. He did promise to be there with us as we go through the fire. I am holding on as tight as I can. It has been a very ruff few says. I am missing her dearly. I know they say time heals all, but this is going to be a hard one. I thought I knew pain when I lost loved ones. This pain is much worse. The rejection and betrayal, are unbearable. I am at the breaking point now and I pray it does not go further. Thankyou again to all those who are praying for me and my family.

 

[wayfaring man]

The human soul is like a lump of clay which can be molded and remolded, shaped and reshaped with only the fire/trial of dying fixing, or putting an end to the variableness or impressionableness which is ever present while we yet live. Which is why we need to be guarded against bad influences, which we shun, not because we're better than those overcome by them - but because we are no better, and if given enough exposure, we too will fall prey to evil communications...therefore, if we are wise, we will take care to avoid that which stimulates offenses against God and our fellow man.

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. <-----> 1st Corinthians 15:33

But by the same type of process good communications stimulate honest and upright behavior.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. <-----> Philippians 4:8

Whatever we feed on mentally/spiritually that what we become like.

Wherefore it is crucial that we dwell on good and godly things, more than on evil and depraved ones.

Sometimes this is harder to do than others...but it is always equally important for our own well being, and our ability to serve Christ.

Prayerfully take charge of the focus and direct it upon that which promotes thanksgiving and gratitude towards The Lord, for this is both healing and restorative.

Surely God will bring the hammer down on the unrepentant, sooner or later, with later being the bigger blow than the sooner, for accumulation occurs; while space is graciously given for repentance, which we ourselves have also depended upon.

May The Lord's Goodness & Greatness outshine and outweigh all our troubles and sorrows to the praise of His Glory. Amen.

wm

 

[ezeric]

The reason God can be seen to prophecy in Isaiah exactly what happens is that God is not subject to time; he could see it, in other words. But it was still our choice to crucify his son, not his.

However, this is a derail, which I think it is best discussed elsewhere.

Acts 2:22-23

Peter's first Big sermon.

Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. 23 This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men,put him to death by nailing him to the cross.

GOD'S deliberate plan and foreknowledge.

Also Revelation 13:8
"to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world."

GOD did it, we (man) are the beneficiaries of it.

What an act of GRACE, What LOVE!

GOD showing HIS love for us in that while we were still sinners, CHRIST died for us. Romans 5:8

-eric
The Exchanged Life

 

[HoseaMan]

Hello everyone,
It has been a few days since I have posted. It has been a ruff period of time dealing with my marriage falling apart. I have been crying out to God. Today my sister stopped over and told me that we needed to talk. This is not the sister who's husband is having the affair with my wife. She told me that my brother-in-law (BIL) came to her husband to talk. He has admitted to the affair with my wife and is repentant. He wants his family back. They have met a few times now. He has akso met with our pastor and stated it was purely sex and no love. He was sobbbing the whole time. Where that leaves my wife I do not know.I do not know if my sister will take him back. She said it would have been easier if he had been with some other woman and not her brothers wife. It is still a mess but God is in the business of cleaning up the mess we make. Where that leaves me I do not knoww as I said she has not come to me or anyone else that I know of to admit to things. My BIL said he cut off the affair because he knows it was wrong. Please pray My sister and I do God's will. I know it will not be easy. As I talk to God about it I keep hearing, he who is without sin cast the first stone. I know with emotions it is not that easy. But with Christ I can do all things.I pray my wife repents first to God and then she come to me. I know it would never be the same, it could be better through Christ. My wife can have a prideful spirit. I pray God breaks that. I want to thank everyone for all there prayers and for future prayers. The war has not been won yet but we are winning the battles. THANKYOU MY LORD AND SAVIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Life2Christ]

HM:
If your wife comes back to you please take your time with things. You are under no compulsion to go back to being lovey-dovey. There are a myriad of issues you need to consider before going foward with your marriage. Pray that the Lord guides your heart on this matter so you do not jump too fast. I wish you strength.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou Life2Christ, at one time I would have went running back. That is not the case today. I am not sure if she will even try and come back. The way it sounds is th BIL broke things off. That could mean she did not want to and is mourning the loss. If she does want to reconcile it will be like we are dating for the first time. The woman I fell in love with is not there. I will have to get to know this person all over again. I want God's will for my life. Thankyou for your wisdom and prayers.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou for allowing me to come here and ask for prayer. This has been a long hard battle for me. My wife has found out that my brother-in-law was lying to her and just using her for sex. He has told her there was no love on his part, it was only for the sex. She had believed all his lies and now is hurt and trying to figure things out. I am praying that she repents to God for what she has done and seeks his will for her life. If God would have us reconcile I pray that he would put the desire in both our hearts. I do still love her very much. It is hard to go on because of the betrayal but, Jesus was betrayed and he forgave us.I only want his will for my life. My family is such a mess because of this sin. I am still amazed as to how my brother-in-law has been going around asking for forgiveness for what he said. Our pastor feels he is genuine in his repentance. I pray my wife comes to that point regardless as to wether we reconcile or not. Before this mess she was the most loving caring wife a man could ask for. I hurt everyday we are apart and I have cried out to God for restoration. I know it will not be easy but she would be worth it, if she comes back to God and becomes the woman I married.Thankyou for your prayers

 

[wayfaring man]

Sounds like the bil's chest pains were part of a "wake up call". Praise God - he appears to have answered well that calling.

And why should one be surprised that as an adulterous man, he wouldn't have had a strong compulsion to be honest ?!

Now your wife's feelings of being betrayed are for her to consider - that such disloyalty leads to no durably pleasant place.

Hope the "repentance", is good news to your sister.

And May The Lord Be Pleased to Keep Blessing !

wm

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou wayfaring man, his world is falling apart. His business is failing and he wants his family nback. I do not know what my sister is going to do. She has a tuff decision. She said it would be easier if it was someone else other than my brothers wife. I pray she does the thing that is best for her and Gods will for her life. I have been told he is coming to me to ask foregivness. It is going to be hard to do, but I believe I have to Christ forgave me. Matthew 6:14 . Now I pray my wife repents of her sins. She did not see this coming. If there is any hope of reconciliation how she responds now is going to make all the difference in where this goes. It's obvious that I love her with all my heart. I have to see her turn back to Christ to have a chance to reconcile. I know I have said it before, betrayal is so hard. Thankyou for all your prayers. I want God's will for my life!

 

[iamjcs]

Praying for you, your wife, your sisters, your BIL, & your children.

May God move in all hearts to restore what was before, especially His peace.

 

[iamjcs]

God put this song in my heart prior me reading the updates.
YouTube - God Will Make A Way (Worship Video w/ Lyrics) HD

 

[Catherineanne]

She told me that my brother-in-law (BIL) came to her husband to talk. He has admitted to the affair with my wife and is repentant. He wants his family back. They have met a few times now. He has akso met with our pastor and stated it was purely sex and no love. He was sobbbing the whole time.

Well, at least one person has come to his senses, anyway. That is a good start.

Where that leaves my wife I do not know. My wife can have a prideful spirit. I pray God breaks that.

Do you know anyone who is not capable of having a prideful spirit, H? I don't. Don't pray for God to break that any more than he already has; that just looks mean spirited. How would you like me to pray for God to break your spirit a bit more? Not nice, is it?

So, your wife is in pain, and has been rejected by a man that she thought loved her very dearly. Time for you to step up now, and be the husband God called you to be. You do not have to do this, but I would ask you to consider it, at least.

Ask to see your wife, with your minister present. When you see her, you apologise to her. You are the husband; what happens in the marriage is ultimately your responsibility. Say you are sorry that you were not sufficient for her, and that your love was not enough. Tell her that you want to be her husband, and that she must show you how this is to be done. Offer to bring her home, on the understanding that you will spend the next three to six months or so getting to know one another again - without intimate relations. Perhaps until your next anniversary, or a birthday. If at the end of that time you decide to separate, then you can do so, but at least she has a home in the meantime, and time to decide what she wants. If you decide that you want to reconcile the marriage, then ask your minister to carry out a rededication for you, just quietly, any time you want. Don't resume intimate relations until after the rededication of your marriage before your minister and the Lord.

Do not ask your wife to apologise to you, and if she tries, tell her that you accept at least some of the blame. If you had been all that she needed as a husband, she would not have gone astray. The blame is never all on one side. Love protects, and your love must now protect your wife from all blame and from all guilt. If she wants to repent before God, she can do that with the minister. Don't let her do it with you; that is not what you are for. You are to forgive her as freely as Christ forgave those who crucified him.

Do not seek to break her spirit. If you do, she will only leave another time, with a man who does not disrespect her. Trust me, a broken spirit is fine before God, but not before one another; you want a wife you can be proud of, and who you can trust in future. Imo, this is one way to begin that journey.

Your choice, and I wish you well.

 

[perrfekt]

Well, at least one person has come to his senses, anyway. That is a good start.



Do you know anyone who is not capable of having a prideful spirit, H? I don't. Don't pray for God to break that any more than he already has; that just looks mean spirited. How would you like me to pray for God to break your spirit a bit more? Not nice, is it?

So, your wife is in pain, and has been rejected by a man that she thought loved her very dearly. Time for you to step up now, and be the husband God called you to be. You do not have to do this, but I would ask you to consider it, at least.

Ask to see your wife, with your minister present. When you see her, you apologise to her. You are the husband; what happens in the marriage is ultimately your responsibility. Say you are sorry that you were not sufficient for her, and that your love was not enough. Tell her that you want to be her husband, and that she must show you how this is to be done. Offer to bring her home, on the understanding that you will spend the next three to six months or so getting to know one another again - without intimate relations. Perhaps until your next anniversary, or a birthday. If at the end of that time you decide to separate, then you can do so, but at least she has a home in the meantime, and time to decide what she wants. If you decide that you want to reconcile the marriage, then ask your minister to carry out a rededication for you, just quietly, any time you want. Don't resume intimate relations until after the rededication of your marriage before your minister and the Lord.

Do not ask your wife to apologise to you, and if she tries, tell her that you accept at least some of the blame. If you had been all that she needed as a husband, she would not have gone astray. The blame is never all on one side. Love protects, and your love must now protect your wife from all blame and from all guilt. If she wants to repent before God, she can do that with the minister. Don't let her do it with you; that is not what you are for. You are to forgive her as freely as Christ forgave those who crucified him.

Do not seek to break her spirit. If you do, she will only leave another time, with a man who does not disrespect her. Trust me, a broken spirit is fine before God, but not before one another; you want a wife you can be proud of, and who you can trust in future. Imo, this is one way to begin that journey.

Your choice, and I wish you well.

do you have fault hosea? no. it is hopefully obvious to you that she was not finding in you what she found in your BiL. the seperation here is that rather than you seeing that and her telling you what she is lacking, she chose to seek that in another. her adultery is hers alone, and is not your fault.

your desire to see her pride broken the way that you do is NOT an evil desire. it is one thing to see someone break to bend to your will, but to see someone break to be bent by Gods will is always a good thing.

you can be held accountable for not being the husband your wife needed, and you should speak to your pastor and other strong christian men to work on changing that, to become a better husband. even if you weren't wrong, and did give your wife that which she needed, we can all be better than where we are now. but you CANNOT be held accountable or blamed for her choices that she made apart from you. you don't need to be appologizing for her actions, but be willing to appologize for your own.

as a husband, it is our responsibility to create a God fearing, loving home for our families. we are to be examples. we are to be to our family as Christ is to the church. when we sin, do we wait for God to appologize to us? no, we seek him out to ask for forgiveness. if you sin, be quick to ask for forgiveness from those you have sinned against. as a husband, just as Christ does, we are to welcome that wife/child home, and love them.

you do need to expect her to appologize, but you shouldn't ask for it. if she never does, then she doesn't want to, and there probably isn't any repentance just remorse for getting caught.

and it is good to have a broken spirit. david had a broken spirit. this is what he said about it in Psalm 51:15-17:
O Lord, open my lips, And my mouth shall show forth Your praise. For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart— These, O God, You will not despise.

through all of this, allow yourself to be broken before God. lower yourself, and seek Him, and allow yourself to be molded more into the image of Christ, and your wife will be able to follow you as you lead. she may or may not follow, but thats up to her. i'll be praying for you still.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou for all your thoughts. I did not mean that she has to break before me, but before the Lord.I was very suprised and happy to see her in church today! I never thought she would come back to our church. We all attend this church and most people are aware what happened.I think it was a good sign that she came back. She had been attending another church with the bil.I wanted to run to her, she was sitting with her parents on the other side of the church. My pastor has told me to give her a couple of weeks. She is very broken up that she had been deceived by the bil. That is going to be one of the hard things for me. She did not break up, it was him. So, she would still be with him if it were not for him ending it. If she comes back is it because she wanhts to, or she sees no other choice. I know that I love her with all my heart and dread the thought of life with out her. I know why she did what she did. I am suprised she did because it happened to her in her first marriage, so she knows how much it hurts. Does she have to apologize to me, that is up to her and God. I have already apologized to her since the start of this.She never wanted to try and work anything out. At the time I did not know why. That was until I found out about the bil. God knows all the details and there was nothing in our marriage to cause what happened. I do not say that in arrogance or to be blameless. I would do anyting to save my marriage. I do not mind humbling myself before the Lord or her. I hope I have explained myself well. I am not good at writing. Thankyou all for your prayers. I am just a simple man who loves his Lord and want my family restored.