More than I can handle

[Catherineanne]

Thankyou Catherineanne for your thoughts. This thing is such a mess. I am not one to cause conflict. I know my being there would be stressful for the kids. They are not little but I do not want to add stress. I found out he was not there. The more I thought about it her parents were going to be there. She would not invite him because she is still trying to hide the affair from them. My son went to lunch with her parents yesterday and they are finally seeing that their daughter is having an affair. They told him they do not want to say anything to her because they are afraid they will loose her and her sister whom she is close to. Her sister had an affair a few years ago and would not speak to trhem because they spoke out against it. I may be wrong but I would say something to my child if I were in there shoes. I told my son today I did not know if I would take his mother back.He is not a child he is in his twenties. He does not want me to give up naturally. I told him trust was a big thing and that would be a hard thing to overcome. I told him that if GOD wanted me to take her back I would.

And conversely, if God makes it clear that this is not going to happen, your son is simply going to have to accept that. Remember what I said about grief? One of the early stages of that is denial; we simply don't want to believe that something so terrible will happen. It looks as if your son is still at this stage of his own grief. You can be understanding of this (and indeed you are), but you do not have to share his denial.

God is my all and I wilol do whatever GOD requires of me. I lnow he will give me the strength to do what ever he asks. I do not know if this is God working or not but the brother-in-law had to go to the hospital with chest pain this weekend so maybe. Thankyou again for your responses. I need to hear all the wisdom it keeps me grounded. I know this will all work nout for my good because I love God.I just wish it did not hurt so much.

I wish you were not in pain as well. I don't know why these things happen to us, but sadly they do. Trust in God; he will not abandon you.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou Catherineanne, he probably is in denial. He is at a bible school studying to be a missionary. He has so much faith. I told him that the problem is that wonderful " free will."His mother can be a stubborn woman. The only thing I do not understand is I see no signs of God trying to change the direction they are headed. Maybe the heart scare is the start of things.It is hard to pray for her to be put in the belly of the whale. Better that then her salvation. I have never been in such an emotional roller coaster.

 

[wayfaring man]

Have you considered the time + content of the prayer under Visitor Messages with the time the "heart scare" occurred ?

wm

 

[wayfaring man]

He that covers his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy. <-----> Proverbs 28:13

 

[Catherineanne]

Thankyou Catherineanne, he probably is in denial. He is at a bible school studying to be a missionary. He has so much faith. I told him that the problem is that wonderful " free will."His mother can be a stubborn woman. The only thing I do not understand is I see no signs of God trying to change the direction they are headed. Maybe the heart scare is the start of things.It is hard to pray for her to be put in the belly of the whale. Better that then her salvation. I have never been in such an emotional roller coaster.

Christian prayer is not about us deciding what God should do, and then giving him our instructions. Christian prayer is about us listening to God, and asking him what he wants us to do.

If you are uncertain what to pray for, then simply ask for God's will to be done, and then trust him.

 

[Life2Christ]

It is hard to pray for her to be put in the belly of the whale. Better that then her salvation.

You can't pray for her because you are drowning at the moment. Cut yourself some slack. Your life is being thrown into turmoil. This is like a death and you are not sure the CPR is going to work on her. This may be the end, you don't know. But what you know for sure is, the marriage you knew is gone. If you get back with her, things *could* get better or worse. But it will never be the same.

 

[HoseaMan]

This is a lot to consider. I am not sure what God would have me do at this time.I know the marriage I had is over. It is like a death. I think it could be worse. There is no rejection and betrayal. My close friend lost his wife to cancer and he has told me my situation is worse. I have not considered the timing of the heart scare. I will have to check that out. I am having a hard time trying to forgive my brother in law. I do not know what to do about that. Maybe it is to soon for that. I do not want unforegiveness in my heart. Please keep my son in prayer. He has been standing strong for God and me in the home. He has been persecuted by his family for not accepting this guy in the home. I am so proud of him. This young man has had a love for God his whole life. Even as a young child he was reading the word. God has had his hand on him his whole life. Thankyou everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I have given this to God. I will accept what God has for me. I know that he loves me and will take care of me.

 

[Catherineanne]

This is a lot to consider. I am not sure what God would have me do at this time.I know the marriage I had is over. It is like a death. I think it could be worse. There is no rejection and betrayal. My close friend lost his wife to cancer and he has told me my situation is worse.

Your friend is right; he lost his wife, but he lost the wife he knew; she did not change into someone he could neither know nor understand. An unfaithful partner is, in many ways, worse than a death, although the feelings that the abandoned partner is left with will be very similar. I am glad you have an understanding friend to talk to.

I have not considered the timing of the heart scare. I will have to check that out. I am having a hard time trying to forgive my brother in law. I do not know what to do about that. Maybe it is to soon for that. I do not want unforegiveness in my heart.

Whether you want it or not, you cannot expect to feel grateful that your brother in law has at least contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. It is unrealistic to expect to be able to forgive, in a situation where there is no remorse, and no repentance, from the other side. I personally do not think that Christians are called to forgive people who are not repentant. If we can, then all well and good, but we are not obliged to do so.

Please keep my son in prayer. He has been standing strong for God and me in the home. He has been persecuted by his family for not accepting this guy in the home. I am so proud of him. This young man has had a love for God his whole life. Even as a young child he was reading the word. God has had his hand on him his whole life. Thankyou everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I have given this to God. I will accept what God has for me. I know that he loves me and will take care of me.

You are very blessed in your son, and I am glad you can see that. He is right not to allow the other man into his home; it is far too soon for everyone to pretend that all is well, when it isn't. What I call pretending to play Happy Families. So his standing up for what is right is an act of great courage and is very much to be commended.

God be with you.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou Catherineanne, as always your words are full of wisdom. I am very proud and blessed to have this son. He has been a blessing to me. If I did not have him this would be much harder to go through. We are prayer partners. We have prayed together most nights since this has happened. He lifts me up when I am down and I lift him up.Today has been a hard day again. But, I know I will get through this. Even tho she has rejected me, God died on the cross for me. He has not rejected me.

 

[wayfaring man]

When we forgive others, we are turning them and their potential for mercy or wrath over to The Lord and His Righteous Judgment. By doing so we are acknowledging that we, of ourselves are not fit to exercise justice or vengeance, for we normally only see a little of all that has gone into what people do, or fail to do. Also by forgiving we are showing that we have laid to heart God's generous forgiving of us for Christ's Sake.

No matter how badly someone treats us, none of their words or actions can hurt us nearly as much as becoming embittered of begrudged...for that will interfere with our fellowship in Christ's Spirit...and it is through having the supply of His Spirit within, that we can endure and overcome all !

May The Lord Confirm His Truth In us !

wm

 

[Catherineanne]

Thankyou Catherineanne, as always your words are full of wisdom. I am very proud and blessed to have this son. He has been a blessing to me. If I did not have him this would be much harder to go through. We are prayer partners. We have prayed together most nights since this has happened. He lifts me up when I am down and I lift him up.Today has been a hard day again. But, I know I will get through this. Even tho she has rejected me, God died on the cross for me. He has not rejected me.

Don't expect to get through this overnight, or even to start to feel better any time soon. The deeper your love, the easier it is to get over, but conversely, those who love the most feel the most pain when they lose someone, for whatever reason.

Meanwhile, if you are praying every day with your son, then you are unlikely to go far wrong. God be with you.

 

[landslide81]

I pray everything comes out for you in the end. I know God will bring you and your children through this. My husband cheated on me last year while I was pregnant and I prayed every day that if we were meant to be then let us but if not then heal my heart so that I could move on. Just keep being the good person you are and your children will see on their own what is right.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou Catherineanne I look forward to hearing fromNo man loved his wife more than I DID AND DO. you. I do not have many friends. I am normally a very shy person. Plus I have a hard time with trust. It is going to time to get over this. No man loved his wife more than I did and do still. I am still trying to figure out how it happened. As hurt as I am by the betrayal, I would still take her back if I was sure she came to God. I know it will not be the same. With God's help it could be better. I will do whatever God would have me do.I am still praying for GOD to make a way. I know there is that free will thing. If God can put Jonah in the belly of the whale he can do the same with my wife.I do not know when or how. Hello landslide81, Thankyou for offering your thoughts and prayers. If I am not being to forward asking, how did your marriage turn out? Please do not feel obligated to answer. I understand if you do not want to. Thankyou everyone for your prayers, mountains shall be moved!!!

 

[landslide81]

As of now our marriage is great but it took me almost losing my husband to realize how much I loved him, we had always been off and on I was never sure if being settled is what I really wanted. I always had a wall put up and wouldn't let him in but when he stopped loving me my heart broke like never before. We were separated @ the beginning of my pregnancy when I realized he was who I wanted to spend my life with I prayed day and night I let my husband know I wanted us to be a family he said he didn't so I just kept praying and let God do the rest. We got back together when I was about 6 months pregnant and he was still seeing the other girl too but I knew God wouldn't have let me go through all this for nothing, so I told him that would be his last chance, I still have some issues with trust but I know God heard my prayer when I said if we are meant to be then let us. I was very cold and unappreciative towards my husband before but now I'm so in love with him and Thank God for my second chance. I will be praying for you and I know exactly how you feel and I pray your heart will be happy again soon. I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou landslide81, it is good to hear things worked out for you. It does give me alot to think about. At the moment there does not seem to be much hope. My wife does not show any signs of changing her mind, that free will thing. It breaks my heart. I love her so much, I still can not believe she has betrayed me. I have giving it over to God and he is able.I do not like the roller coaster of emotions. I pray that I become steady.Thankyou again for all the prayers.

 

[Catherineanne]

Thankyou landslide81, it is good to hear things worked out for you. It does give me alot to think about. At the moment there does not seem to be much hope. My wife does not show any signs of changing her mind, that free will thing. It breaks my heart. I love her so much, I still can not believe she has betrayed me. I have giving it over to God and he is able.I do not like the roller coaster of emotions. I pray that I become steady.Thankyou again for all the prayers.

Human free will took Christ to the cross, remember, and if it can do that to him, the rest of us have no right to expect a different outcome. If God blesses us, then all well and good. If he allows us to be tested, then we have to accept that, as Christ did, and drink the cup.

I am sorry this is not more comforting, but sadly this is the world we have been given, and which we must survive in.

Give yourself time; it will take a lot longer than just few days to get over this situation. It is eleven years since I divorced my husband, but the pain still returns, at times. I eventually learned that the man I thought he was simply did not exist. That is why God could not grant my prayers; I was asking for the impossible.

God be with you, H.

 

[HoseaMan]

Thankyou again for your thoughts and prayers. I am still trying to grasp this " free will " thing. I wonder if it was human free will or the will of God that led Christ to the cross. I am not disagreeing with you just trying to understand all of this. I am not sure where this all is going to lead. Thankyou evryone for your prayers and conversation it has been so much help to me. Betrayal is one of the most difficult things to go through. I try to keep focused on Christ and pray he wipes away the tears.

 

[ezeric]

Hey brother HoseaMan,

I shared earlier in this post with you, and I am also thankful for all the words from our brothers and sisters here for you.

LOVE lets go, and does not force itself, thus for LOVE to be complete, it has to let go and its only reward, its only reason to exist, is to receive LOVE back (returned love, not spurned love).

Since LOVE is the most powerful thing in the universe, and could only accept the most powerful thing in return which is; 'LOVE seeks LOVE.'

So, we were given 'free will', since LOVE never forces or as the scripture says "does not insist on its own way". 1 Corinthians 13:5

And answering your question, as to 'human free will' or the 'will of GOD' that led CHRIST to the cross.

It was GOD 100%. HIS Will, HIS Plan, HIS Idea.

But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief. Isaiah 53:10 also...
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

And Praise the LORD, that when we didn't know what was going on, HE saved us!

And that is how it works even now. When we need prayers answered, GOD to Deliver then there is one way that is faster than all others, its the way of GRACE, when we give up and 'get out of the way', to allow HIM to come through, so that the entire glory goes to HIM.

HIS power perfected in our weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
HE (JESUS) must increase, I must decrease. John 3:30

-eric

The Exchanged Life

 

[Catherineanne]

Thankyou again for your thoughts and prayers. I am still trying to grasp this " free will " thing. I wonder if it was human free will or the will of God that led Christ to the cross. I am not disagreeing with you just trying to understand all of this. I am not sure where this all is going to lead. Thankyou evryone for your prayers and conversation it has been so much help to me. Betrayal is one of the most difficult things to go through. I try to keep focused on Christ and pray he wipes away the tears.

It was 100% human free will that killed Christ that way.

What you must remember is that Christ's death was inevitable from the moment of his conception; he took on our mortality from that point, and his death was then bound to happen. Christ himself did not know how he would die, only that he would.

It was Christ's perfection that caused him to die such a terrible, painful death. He was simply too visible, too different, too much of a threat to the accepted order of life, particularly in what was then, and remains now, such a very volatile part of the world. God did not choose for Christ to die the death of a traitor, a death of disgrace. Man chose that. What God chose was that, in a situation where Christ was wrongly convicted, he would accept that death without complaint, just as the sacrificial lamb accepts its own death without complaint.

And having accepted, and been the propitiation for our sins, then he showed us all that he is not subordinate to death, and he took on his immortality once more, and rose from the dead. The sign to us is that we can now follow his path; we can take on his immortality following our own death to sin, which is part of the sacrament of baptism.

This is a bit complex, but the important thing is that without free will there is no salvation. It has to be there, and you and I and your wife, have to be free to choose for ourselves.

 

[Catherineanne]

It was GOD 100%. HIS Will, HIS Plan, HIS Idea.

This is true of the Incarnation, but not necessarily of the manner of Christ's death. Had that death been by any other form of execution, the result would have been the same.

The reason God can be seen to prophecy in Isaiah exactly what happens is that God is not subject to time; he could see it, in other words. But it was still our choice to crucify his son, not his.

However, this is a derail, which I think it is best discussed elsewhere.