Lost the will and interest in (fill in the blank)

[pumanator]

Right off the bat I will say this is NOT about the thought of suicide as that topic is off limits in these forums and something most theologians feel is a sin, and one that you would not be able to ask for forgiveness...that's one red herring I don't want to tackle.

But rather, constant pain and or illness wears on all of us here and like someone running a race with an injury you slow from the others and finish, well, poorly. When I went in for an angiogram to see what was up with my heart I was actually disappointed that my heart was normal and not a mess like my dad who dead do to heart failure at 59. The thought of getting older and less able to do what needs to be done and the pain increasing is a little scary. One of the psalmists wrote about his concerns over this very issue of getting old and not being able to take care of himself. This may be simply to make me long for heaven and His presence and see the world for what it is and that it's offerings are of little value. I can't talk to anyone about this in my mens group as I know it would just poison my position within the group and I may even get in trouble here. Its just that I don't care that much about serving or even trying to cultivate relationships outside my own family. It has become all about surviving day to day and hope He comes soon for us all or that He heals us (unlikely) or doesn't drag out life to who only know what.

Your thoughts on this...

 

[pumanator]

...sooooo, I was right, not wise (48 views no response, not even the poll) to share/vent discouragement...sorry if I bummed anyone out.

 

[Auntie]

Pumanator, I would have voted "taking things day by day". We are not promised tomorrow. Today is all we get. But the good thing is today is all I have to deal with. Some of my "todays" are worse than others. Some of my "todays" give me hope that I can go on.

I am walking with a cane now, so I have gone downhill I guess you could say. However, I LOVE my cane! I can now walk more than I could before I began using it, and it gives me confidence that I won't fall down. It's like my new friend.

My biggest enemy, maybe even more than my pain, is depression. I know you know what I am saying. Depression leads us into a dark black hole, where there is nothing but pain and anguish and agony of mind and spirit.

And it's hard as hell to dig out of depression once you get in it. But you MUST do it. Look around you and find something to be thankful for and then cling to that. Find something else to be thankful for and cling to that also.

Laughter. Allow yourself to laugh, maybe at something you read online, maybe something you watch on TV, maybe the silliness of something someone said to you, but let yourself have a good belly laugh! It feels good, it sends good messages to the brain, it relaxes muscles.

My best to you!

 

[pumanator]

all good advice no doubt. this weekend was a 3 day weekend and I have been trying to take care of things that I have let go undone...for like 10 yrs. my wife does home daycare and the kitchen has need a remodel since we moved in...in 97. I decided to suck it up and start, got the floor in over spring break and a weekend...killer...took days to recover each stage of the job, did the counter top on this 3 day weekend but I had my oldest sons hands to help...boy has no skill unless we talk computer...I am a mess and don't know it I will make it to work but I am thankful it went in and I had help without I could not have finished.

The frustrating thing is God saw fit to give me a hidden talent (I have scratch built some amazing things) but has allowed me to be all but crippled by pain...and I know it's going to get worse and I will get to a point that I will be unable to to anything. It has made me long for heaven and hate this life...I guess that's the point but I long for heaven for all the wrong reason, kinda make me a hypocrite. There are good things in life and I am trying to be thankful for them and I am painfully aware of the danger of complaining, it cost the Israelites 40 yrs of wilderness and seeing that it SNOWED here again last night I am definitely done with wondering...I just don't know how to escape and whether or not I have the wearwithall to do so...or even if the Lord will let me out.

Anyway...I surely appreciate the positive input.

 

[Auntie]

all good advice no doubt. this weekend was a 3 day weekend and I have been trying to take care of things that I have let go undone...for like 10 yrs. my wife does home daycare and the kitchen has need a remodel since we moved in...in 97. I decided to suck it up and start, got the floor in over spring break and a weekend...killer...took days to recover each stage of the job, did the counter top on this 3 day weekend but I had my oldest sons hands to help...boy has no skill unless we talk computer...I am a mess and don't know it I will make it to work but I am thankful it went in and I had help without I could not have finished.

You are about where I was 10-15 years ago. I could still do a lot of stuff, but I always paid for it in pain for a few days. But even on my best days, I could never do the things you have accomplished, because I've never had too much strength. I'm really wanting you to count your blessings here! But I understand what you are saying. It's totally frustrating to want to do stuff, and know you can't. Or, know that if you do what you want to do, you will pay for it for days and days.

The frustrating thing is God saw fit to give me a hidden talent (I have scratch built some amazing things) but has allowed me to be all but crippled by pain...and I know it's going to get worse and I will get to a point that I will be unable to to anything. It has made me long for heaven and hate this life...I guess that's the point but I long for heaven for all the wrong reason, kinda make me a hypocrite. There are good things in life and I am trying to be thankful for them and I am painfully aware of the danger of complaining, it cost the Israelites 40 yrs of wilderness and seeing that it SNOWED here again last night I am definitely done with wondering...I just don't know how to escape and whether or not I have the wearwithall to do so...or even if the Lord will let me out.

Anyway...I surely appreciate the positive input.

pumanator, God knows your struggles, and He knows the desires of your heart. Nothing in this life is "forever", and some things are only for a season. I used to LOVE to garden, it was a major joy in my life. I would probably give my right arm if I could go out and till the soil, plant the seeds, hoe the weeds out, set up the sprinklers, apply the fertilizer, stake the tomatoes, and just watch God's creation grow! But those days are behind me now. I can't do any of that anymore. And it hurts, it hurts real bad. But I ACCEPT it. I accept it. It is what it is.

I think the best we can do is embrace life as it is, warts and all. Embrace and give thanks for the things we CAN do, and maybe mourn for the things we can no longer do. And like I said earlier, don't look too far down the road, because none of us knows what tomorrow will bring anyway. The absolute BEST any of us can do is to "live this day" as best we can. There are always wonders to behold! God gives us miracles in ways we don't expect, and sometimes it's just the little things of life that can give us hope.

I wish the best for you pumanator, and I pray God's comfort for you! Try not to worry too much about tomorrow, but make the best you can of every day God gives you. As for complaining, oh I am a big complainer! Nothing wrong with complaining, as long as you end each day in the arms of Jesus. I complain to Him all the time, and He comforts me. He is there with us, He knows our struggles, He makes a way for us to go on.

 

[pumanator]

....don't have the words to reply, my pride made me not want to reply because your post brought me to tears...thanx...Lord bless...

 

[Auntie]

Hi Pumanator, I hope you had a nice holiday!

We all have tears inside of us, men and women alike.
God gave us tear ducts!
That could be a good thread all by itself - why did God give us tears?
Was it because He knew we would need to cry?
Or was it because He wants us to cry.....hmmm.....

 

[One day at a time]

We have been promised that His grace is sufficient.....so I am claiming that as my life--whatever that may be. It's not always easy and there are days that I'm not happy about it all and know that my life will NEVER be the same....but have promised God that I would praise Him for the pain and all I want is His will....may I live up to that promise as some days get long!!

 

[pumanator]

my barber talked about that to me at length last week...praising Him no matter what the circumstances...that's a tough one but I know it's whats commanded and unless I can do that I am not much of a witness for Him.

 

[One day at a time]

Well, I will pray that you can be that witness! I know that it gets hard.....but with God's grace we can do it!!

 

[sk8Joyful]

When I went in for an angiogram to see what was up with my heart
I was actually disappointed that my heart was normal.

say whaaa....T !
Don't tell me you would've been so happy&relived with something ELSE wrong

Every Check-up I have, & doc says: Annie, IF everyone else
would live as preventatively as you, us docs would need a 2nd. job, I say: Well, let's cont. teaching them how...

The thought of getting older
and
the pain increasing and less able to do what needs to be done is a little scary.

Well by virtue of you living...you do add years (i'm near 60)
but
wisdom tells you: do Not increase in pain, nor do less; so NO fear here.

Lost the will and interest in (fill in the blank)
What is you outlook on "dealing"
It has become all about surviving day to day and
hope He comes soon for us all, or that He heals us (unlikely)
or doesn't drag out life.

Your thoughts...

my 1st. thought on reading your Poll-options was to think:
Why does that man Never give the rest of us our say... ??

I have found, over the past 55+ yrs. that dealing with pain &
aging, is beyond fruitless!, a useless drain!! of energy...

ENERGY God-blessed, that I pay-Attention to, Focus-on, &
Concentrate expanding...
incldg -
1. my growing passion... of sports, like Iceskating-fun
&
2. my growing passion... of teaching others how to heal...
&
3. my growing passion... of increasingly more...FUN things to learn, & also do.

Gee, I continue sounding like a kid, a young girl. Hmm, this
IS how God/Jesus counsels us to live, for Entering His Kingdom, right? yup, Converted...

 

[Fangtastic]

I ask for healing. I doubt it's going to happen. Ya gotta be more faith filled than I am and believe before that takes place.