living in the real world

[Elliewaves]

So if you worried it must mean you made an idol out of your own self importance? or you didn't follow/trust God with something. B/c that's what you accused this lady of for worrying about her situation. I'm sure she was trying to deal with. Some people are, but it doesn't mean that she made an idol out of anything or wasn't trusting God in her own way. You just can't accuse people of that when they don't act how you think they should. You don't know the intimate details of her relationship with God.

 

[Goodbook]

Well today is moving day, and what do you know, it's raining!
And windy. And cold.

Lord have mercy!

 

[Goodbook]

update - one of the brothers from the group says he can come this sat.
She will be in a motel up the road from me if all goes according to plan and we can still visit her there.
I am looking after her plants. I filled up the car and have more things to give away but I did as much as I reasonably could and I think she will be ok.

She admitted that all this stress makes her seem so demanding and is contrite about that. Also she said that she asked to stay with me although knew it was not likely but if she didn't she was worried I might have said 'why didn't you ask me?' lol

 

[com7fy8]

prayer

Always, God can be working things to bring us to more and better loving

So, possibly God worked the weather so you would share with the brother, on Saturday.

 

[Goodbook]

He can't make it he promised someone else. So maybe I just see her on her own if she's just going to be up the road from me in the motel.
After that she's going to stay on a farm with old friends.

I think maybe she's just not used to big city life. It has gotten more fast and furious here.

 

[Goodbook]

She rang me last night and thank the Lord shes ok and some people from her church came to help her. She had to move in the dark!

 

[Goodbook]

I dont know whether i will pop round to see her later this afternoon at the motel but im glad to know shes fine and the home got moved.

I said to her just live in the present and take each day as it comes. Moving house is a big thing. Esp when you dont know where its going to go! And where you going to live. Its in storage now.

The thought came to me she might want to think seriously about buying some land who knows where she would be happy living. ?!

I dont even know for myself.

 

[Goodbook]

Also she said to me the motel cost money of course she didnt want to spend but she used some of her mums inheritance.

Yes she is very frugal i think when ppl get older they watch every penny and dont like to spend on themselves. But i think her mum would have wanted her daughter to spend it on herself dont you think?

 

[Goodbook]

Also she said she had a burst of energy after i visited and managed to get things done. Well, God must have done something. I wonder if she will get hooked up online so can email her one day. She now has a smartphone and has learned how to use it. She pretty much had to, and put heaps of call time on it cos she kept running out she was using it so much.

 

[Goodbook]

well just came back from visit.
Everything seemed to work alright in the end although it was a big drama at the time.

This experience made me realise how judgmental many people can be, including christians, without meaning to. Probably me a tad as well, but its just difficult being single and homeless. Married people sometimes just have no idea, since, a single christian, like Paul, is not always tied to a home. We need to be out ministering and often have no idea where we will be one day to the next. We don't know if people will welcome us. We can't just settle down till we know its where God wants us to be.

Flatting isn't fun forever...you can only do it for so long, and boarding isn't wonderful either, but just how can a single woman survive on her own I got no idea. I remember going from place to place, provided that was what God wanted me to do, but with my friend it's complicated because of her bad knee.

also you can't just buy a place with house prices these days. Maybe if I got a bunch of single christian ladies together we could just have our own house, but where, God only knows.

 

[Goodbook]

I think the lady was right she doesn't live in the real WORLD. as we Christians don't, we are in the world and not of it. The just live by faith.

so, I guess when one poster said I don't live in the real world either, maybe she was right. Christians, if they are living as christians, live by faith, and it needs to be the center of His will. If its not, then, well, ok maybe we can panic just a tiny bit. But God always provides and looks after us.

I've known many christians who think being married is the best thing, as if its a simple solution to all a single christians woman's problems, but I don't think so. Singles need to be so much stronger than marrieds. But its rare theres any christian men around, esp when you get older. My heart breaks for marrieds who are unequally yoked, we were discussing this before, and decided that being single is better. Even if you are married, maybe your spouse dies before you, your children run away and don't bother with you anymore..you don't get a long with your in-laws..etc.etc. meh. too many distractions. Pleasing the Lord is number one and marrieds don't really understand that.

 

[Elliewaves]

nope, not what I meant by you don't live in the real world. And Christianity isn't a war between married people and singles. It's the body of Christ, so you should learn to get along with people no matter their marital status. Lots of married people are concerned with pleasing the Lord and do so within their marriage and families. If you want to live on your own then you need to be employed in an actual job. I'm single and I do it. I know you think it's slavery, but you just traded one type of slavery (in your mind) for another. Slaves don't get paid or fed and have no free time and have to live in squalor where their master dictates, even if you don't like your job when you are employed you get wages and you have free time that you are not at work to do whatever you want to do and you have funds to live where you reasonably want to. You obviously don't like living with your parents and complain all the time on here that they are mean to you and you don't like it and you have no peace. But you have no where else to go. That is a type of slavery. You are not free to have your own place and you feel constantly tormented by their control. But , you are an adult and if you don't like it then God gives you the ability to make a change. I don't think God wants people just to not try and stagnate in life and live helplessly with their parents for their entire lives because they don't like to work. I'm not saying these things to you to be mean to you. You have to do what God wants you to do in life and maybe you need a caregiver, but I also read a lot of fear from you about things. The same fear that you condemn others on here for.

 

[Goodbook]

I have thought about why marrieds automatically assume a single person has support.

I cant answer that question, but it just seems unfair. We rely on the Lord much more by faith and unlike a married person, who has a husband or wife they can just talk to and be with, and have a home with, because they are married and settled down.

Us singles cant see what Hes doing at times.

 

[DawnStar]

Is there a point to your repeated rambling? If there is I cannot seem to find it.

 

[Goodbook]

I have been looking online at rest homes and retirement villages places.
Since my friend is now over 65 and plus got a disabilty I just wonder why she hadnt seriously considered going to stay in one even if its short term while she has this operation.

I know some of them are horrors but there must be at least one good one that fits my friends situation. ?
i dont knkw how much it all costs though. It would have to be one where its quiet and shes independent she can still drive, it needs to be flat, she needs to have a garden. She can still cook all her own meals and come and go as she pleases but have physiotherapist come visit. She also needs one where she doesn have to share a bathroom, and not far to use laundry facitlities.

 

[Goodbook]

hmm. well, can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink.

I did however, manage to say to her to call me on my mobile instead of her always asking if I can call her on the mobile. She has a smartphone but she said she couldn't even save my number on it.(?! she needs to learn..plus she doesn't know how to txt)

That means today, I can just go for a walk with my other friend and if she needs me she can call when she's ready. She asked if I would take more plants to another friend of hers and I can BUT I am going with my other friend, she wasn't able to give me a time so I knew when it would happen.

Its not over because her home was put in the storage yard, they took everything out of it but then they found they couldn't get her stuff back in as the door was jammed. So all her stuff is in the church van, which apparently they need for church and got nowhere to put it. But if they manage to unlock it her stuff won't be secure thats' why she needs the locksmith to go fix it. the storage yard is secure its just her house won't be.

I tried telling her don't worry, come along with me to my church today (her motel is on the way) instead of sitting round at motel waiting for locksmith to call, he might go to church as well, and so are all the other people, and you don't need to do anything but sit there...but she said no.

Its funny cos I don't intend to be running round after her all the time, but, well, this is life. I just think it would be easier if she didn't try and force things or maybe its just communication problems she's having with the movers, truckies, church helpers etc. If we worship first then God can do something instead of sitting there fretting.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I'm a pretty nice guy and for a long time I let people take advantage of me being kind. But I cut back on that now so when I see someone wants to use me as a door mat I don't let them. My mom on the other hand..... they walk all over her and she keeps letting it happen and its frustrating.

 

[Goodbook]

well just came back from shifting plants and now it is bucketing down but managed to get all done! phew!
And I showed her a garden room at a holiday home nearby which is much cheaper than the motel and it looks pretty good. So she may stay there.
And the church helpers unjammed the door so all her stuff is inside and secured now.

Hopefully things will go smoother this week. Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy.

 

[com7fy8]

God works things out better than we have thought and hoped and prayed. Pray, then. God cares more than we do, and our Father has us doing things as family >

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one anther in love," (Ephesians 4:2)

So, it also can be good to share here, with us here, as well as with your Jesus people where you are !

God includes us His children. So, I think it can be good for her to be involved with others helping her, so she is sharing and relating with love people, and not isolated. In the United States we have a major independence problem which isolates people and then they break down in emotional problems because we are not getting strong in love with one another, including by dealing with each other's ways and problems so we grow and learn love together.

We isolate ourselves so we don't get hurt and used, then wonder why we are so lonely . . . while maybe we stay with only those we want to use and feel are good enough for our attention. But > "if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

And I can get into a lot of paranoid suspecting and accusing and criticizing and self defending; so it is good for me to get with the people who are a problem for me and discover how they and things really are . . . and how God has worked things out after I have prayed for us. Big surprise ! ! ! How He disproves my negative stuff!! and more and more I know ahead of time that my negative stuff has been disproven before, God has proven Himself, and so just don't go with the paranoid and criticizing stuff, in the first place, but get in prayer with God, first, and discover how well He has things work out . . . for loving . . . bringing us to more and better loving with Him and each other.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

 

[Goodbook]

It is a habit i need to break to be suspecting of people, and to worry.
I am learning, plus, I need grace as well. Its because im not strong that I think why is stuff being placed on me, but after I prayed and the burden is lifted cos Jesus takes it upon himself then its ok.