I think it's a very important issue that can possibly affect *everyone* (it crosses education; financial; racial; and gender lines)....so we should be informed.
The main barrier to this discussion that seems to get in the way is the competition or gender war....so I'd like to avoid all that in this thread. What I'd actually like to lean towards is how equality and the tearing down of common stereotypes can aid in the fight against abuse.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has done---what I consider---a very good job of describing abuse and the things that are factored in. One thing that's pointed out on their site is how stereotypes feed into the problem of men not getting the help they need (and that's one of the reasons why I have an aversion to stereotypes----how it steals away from what people need).
See? Equality isn't something to fight against (those ebil feminists).....it's beneficial for ALL. Even this nine-year-old boy grasped that concept.
The main barrier to this discussion that seems to get in the way is the competition or gender war....so I'd like to avoid all that in this thread. What I'd actually like to lean towards is how equality and the tearing down of common stereotypes can aid in the fight against abuse.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has done---what I consider---a very good job of describing abuse and the things that are factored in. One thing that's pointed out on their site is how stereotypes feed into the problem of men not getting the help they need (and that's one of the reasons why I have an aversion to stereotypes----how it steals away from what people need).
National Domestic Violence Hotline said:Although they make up a smaller percentage of callers to the Hotline, there are likely many more men who do not report or seek help for their abuse, for a variety of reasons:
Men are socialized not to express their feelings or see themselves as victims.
Our culture still clings to narrow definitions of gender (although there are signs that this is slowly shifting). Young boys are taught not to express their emotions, to “suck it up” and “be a man.” Tony Porter calls this the “man box” in his well-known TED talk. This can be extremely detrimental to boys as they age, especially if they find themselves in an abusive relationship. Men may feel discouraged to talk about what’s going on in their personal lives, or they feel like no one will believe them. They may not even realize that they are being abused, or they might assume they should just deal with the abuse on their own.
Pervading beliefs or stereotypes about men being abusers, women being victims.
The majority of domestic violence stories covered by the media are about male perpetrators and female victims who are typically in heterosexual relationships. While we certainly don’t want to minimize this violence, focusing on only one type of situation renders invisible the many scenarios that do not fit this definition, including abusive relationships among homosexual, bisexual, and trans* men. This might make many victims feel like they don’t have the space or the support to speak out about their own experiences and seek help.
The abuse of men is often treated as less serious, or a “joke.”
We’ve seen this in action recently with the elevator footage of Solange Knowles attacking Jay-Z. When a man is abused, many people don’t take it as seriously (in part due to the previous two reasons we’ve mentioned). The truth is, abuse is not a joke, in any situation, between any two people. All victims deserve support and resources to help them feel safe.
Many believe there are no resources or support available for male victims.
It can seem like the majority of shelters and services for domestic violence victims are women-focused. However, services for male victims do exist. Most federal funding sources require that domestic violence services be provided to all victims of abuse. Our advocates can provide information, assist with safety planning, and/or find local resources, if available. They can also help brainstorm alternative options if local programs are not meeting the requirements for male victims, including who a caller may be able to contact if they believe they have experienced discrimination.~http://www.thehotline.org/2014/07/men-can-be-victims-of-abuse-too/
Tony Porter's TED Talk transcript said:I grew up in New York City,between Harlem and the Bronx.Growing up as a boy, we were taughtthat men had to be tough, had to be strong,had to be courageous, dominating --no pain, no emotions,with the exception of anger --and definitely no fear;that men are in charge,which means women are not;that men lead,and you should just follow and do what we say;that men are superior; women are inferior;that men are strong; women are weak;that women are of less value,property of men,and objects,particularly sexual objects.I've later come to know that to bethe collective socialization of men,better knownas the "man box."See this man box has in itall the ingredientsof how we define what it means to be a man.Now I also want to say, without a doubt,there are some wonderful, wonderful,absolutely wonderful thingsabout being a man.But at the same time,there's some stuffthat's just straight up twisted,and we really need to begin to challenge, look at it and really get in the process of deconstructing, redefining,what we come to know as manhood.
So quickly, I'd like to just say, this is the love of my life, my daughter Jay. The world I envision for her --how do I want men to be acting and behaving? I need you on board. I need you with me. I need you working with me and me working with you on how we raise our sons and teach them to be men -- that it's okay to not be dominating, that it's okay to have feelings and emotions, that it's okay to promote equality, that it's okay to have women who are just friends and that's it, that it's okay to be whole, that my liberation as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman. (Applause)
I remember asking a nine-year-old boy, I asked a nine-year-old boy, "What would life be like for you, if you didn't have to adhere to this man box?" He said to me, "I would be free."
~
See? Equality isn't something to fight against (those ebil feminists).....it's beneficial for ALL. Even this nine-year-old boy grasped that concept.
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