Kicked out for breastfeeding in restaurant?

[lawtonfogle]

I'm still trying to understand why a woman breastfeeding in public is a problem for some people? Are breasts that frightening to some people?

Breast are commonly seen as sexual organs. Children are commonly in restaurants. Exposing breast in restaurants, even for the purpose of breast feeding, is exposing what is commonly seen as a sexual organ. We normally are very harsh on someone doing this (exposing sexual organs to children, especially children you do not know) to a child except in rare situations. The question then becomes, should breast feeding be one of these rare situations. Of course, there seems to be not metric for inclusiveness, so people are left grasping with emotions and trying to apply metrics from other areas to the problem (and often leaving gaps).

Also, some fine dining establishments would not want such things occurring due to the atmosphere of the establishment, though in all seriousness, I think these would be the exact same restaurants which would have already banned kids (at least really young ones).

 

[PreachersWife2004]

The difference would be in experiences. Some women state such because they have had just that one or two children that were willing to take a bottle or be covered by a blanket. I have nursed seven and have had various experiences. None of mine would tolerate being covered other than my shirt over the breast, but not their face and two rejected a bottles (of every type and with EBM, whether attempted by myself or by another).

As you know from having a NICU baby, there are many obstacles that various mothers face.

My second youngest didn't like being under covers either, which is why I nursed him at home before we'd go out. Better to do it that way than have a screaming baby in a public area.

Again, it's more about what I perceived to be the right thing to do. Just because the law says it's okay to just whip it out and do it doesn't mean it's right for all occasions.

I'm still trying to understand why a woman breastfeeding in public is a problem for some people? Are breasts that frightening to some people?

Personally, for me, it's a matter of hygiene. I would be just as upset with someone wearing a skimpy shirt at a buffet as I would be with someone whipping a nipple out to breastfeed. Again, people need to go potty, but we don't just go potty wherever we want. Why are people so afraid of pee? Urine is actually bacteriostatic, meaning it has no bacteria. Yet we have to go potty in private and you can even get a ticket for peeing in public! The horror!

Breast feeding in a restaurant I don't mind perfectly natural I draw the line however when someone changes a poopy diaper in a restaurant now that's sick and should be done in a bathroom.

Ugh, I knew a mom who would do that. It didn't matter where she was, if her kid needed a diaper change she'd do it right there. It didn't help that her one boy was in diapers still when he was four years old. It got to the point where we were at the mall once and he pulled his pants down, laid down on the floor in a store and told his mommy that she needed to change his poopies. AND SHE DID!!

Oy.

Why wasn't Beyonce arrested at the Grammys?

Crack is whack, but they got to see the crack to arrest her for possession...



Seriously, though, she probably could've been if she had been showing anything more. Although, this being the grammys and all, no one really cares. I mean, look at the dress that Rose McGowan wore when she was dating that weird guy Marilyn Manson. I think it was just some lace she sewed together.

Hollywood's kind of a different ballgame. If I wore that dress to some fancy outlet here in Mankato, I imagine I might not get arrested but I'm sure everyone would be a-talking and the phones would be a-ringing "did you SEE what that hussy Preacher's Wife had on last night? Oh my goodness! What IS this world comin' to??"

 

[Etsi]

the reality is that what PW said would work for anyone though...

But see, that is my point...what she said does NOT work for everyone. Not every baby will take a bottle. Not every child will tolerate covering...many do not. Not everyone can "time" their nursings and expect that the child will not need to eat while out. Some babes need to nurse more than others where a mother may NEED to nurse while out. The mother may be out for many reasons or on a trip and have to eat out.

 

[IreneAdler]

but feeding them before hand or just plain doing it at another time would

 

[PreachersWife2004]

But see, that is my point...what she said does NOT work for everyone. Not every baby will take a bottle. Not every child will tolerate covering...many do not. Not everyone can "time" their nursings and expect that the child will not need to eat while out. Some babes need to nurse more than others where a mother may NEED to nurse while out. The mother may be out for many reasons or on a trip and have to eat out.

Then you plan for that. There were more than a few times I nursed in the car because I didn't want to do it in the bathroom. Plan ahead...visit places that are breastfeeding friendly. Our mall here has a separate area for women to breastfeed that is really quite nice, especially if the woman has other children with her.

yes, babies need to eat. But they don't NEED to breastfeed right out in public all the time. As I said, just because the law says it's okay doesn't always mean it's appropriate. Would you start breastfeeding during a funeral, for example? Or would you excuse yourself?

There are choices that we make that put us in situations where we might think we're in the right, but we know we're not. Sometimes, choosing to breastfeed in a public place is one of those decisions. And I'm sorry, but if there's women doing it like that simply to prove a point, shame on them for using their baby as a pawn in some silly little game.

 

[Etsi]

My second youngest didn't like being under covers either, which is why I nursed him at home before we'd go out. Better to do it that way than have a screaming baby in a public area.

Again, it's more about what I perceived to be the right thing to do. Just because the law says it's okay to just whip it out and do it doesn't mean it's right for all occasions.

I have never "whipped it out" and yet I have nursed in public many times without a blanket or nursing cover. No one was able to see anything and many times ppl thought my child was merely sleeping.

Also, nursing before leaving never guaranteed that my child would not fuss or need to be nursed while I was out in public. I could not time everything around my child nor my child around every event.

As you say, it's what we perceive to be the right thing to do.

Breastfeeding is not Urination. One is waste product, the other is nourishment. One comes from genitalia, the other comes from mammary glands. Very, very different. Nursing a baby is no more unsanitary than anyone else eating at the table.

 

[IreneAdler]

I think the point is that they are both private acts and are for appropriate places

 

[Etsi]

Then you plan for that. There were more than a few times I nursed in the car because I didn't want to do it in the bathroom. Plan ahead...visit places that are breastfeeding friendly. Our mall here has a separate area for women to breastfeed that is really quite nice, especially if the woman has other children with her.

yes, babies need to eat. But they don't NEED to breastfeed right out in public all the time. As I said, just because the law says it's okay doesn't always mean it's appropriate. Would you start breastfeeding during a funeral, for example? Or would you excuse yourself?

There are choices that we make that put us in situations where we might think we're in the right, but we know we're not. Sometimes, choosing to breastfeed in a public place is one of those decisions. And I'm sorry, but if there's women doing it like that simply to prove a point, shame on them for using their baby as a pawn in some silly little game.

You can't plan for everything (that would be a perfect life). Not everyone has a life that follows a specific schedule day by day. And it's not always choices, but rather simply life that gets in the way.

To answer your question about the funeral, it would depend on the type of funeral, what part of the funeral we were at, and how fussy the baby is. Our family is extremely modest, but breastfeeding was expected and a no one expected a mother to time her baby or leave a room. I've nursed in church, at parks, in restaurants, in the mall, at doctors' offices, etc. It's no more inappropriate than those that choose to bottle feed their child in those same places. No one sees my breast. If they have an issue, then they have an issue with the "idea" of someone nursing their babe. That is their issue in as much as someone being disgusted at seeing an infant bottle feeding.

 

[laconicstudent]

Just going to point out that urination is not a private act for some of us.

 

[IreneAdler]

???? you're kidding

 

[Etsi]

I think the point is that they are both private acts and are for appropriate places

That is a matter of opinion.

 

[Etsi]

but feeding them before hand or just plain doing it at another time would

If the babe is willing to feed before hand or willing to hold off for another time...or if whatever can be held off for another time. No, I don't believe a mother should be restricted to her home based on her child's nursing.

 

[laconicstudent]

???? you're kidding

Uhhhh, no...

Urination is not by any means a private act. I do it in the presence and accompaniment of 1 or more other males frequently....

 

[IreneAdler]

Uhhhh, no...

Urination is not by any means a private act. I do it in the presence and accompaniment of 1 or more other males frequently....

I find this such a horrible thing for men... never have understood why they're forced to do that... it's a shame really

Why should someone else's comfort supersede the mother's convenience and the child's right to be fed?

because in a private business no one should have the right to do anything a private business owner doesn't choose to allow (smoking, non smoking etc).

to me the idea of "I don't want to wait on my child" is just bizarre... it's just weird. it's entitlement. It's "my rights are above others because it's my right to inconvenience business owners, etc".

YES they should have the right in public places but that should not include private businesses. I know it's the law but it's just wrong (libertarian... sorry... I'm stuck on priave business owners rights... it's like states rights... soemthing that people like Obama have stomped on)

 

[laconicstudent]

I find this such a horrible thing for men... never have understood why they're forced to do that... it's a shame really

Really? That's odd. Its not exactly painful or anything. None of us really mind.

 

[IreneAdler]

lol, I had a discussion with a guy friend of mine about the "rules" of the men's room so I think there is some "minding' but it's unspoken if there are "rules" of a sort

 

[Etsi]

well I guess your convenience matters more than someone else's comfort obviously... something I don't get about social entitlement people (their rights supercede the rights of others)

No, my child's needs come before another's "comfort"...obviously. I've never been "in your face" and I've never "whipped it out". Apparently it's getting lost in translation that women CAN breastfeed discreetly in public.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Really? That's odd. Its not exactly painful or anything. None of us really mind.

Now be honest. When there are 10 open urinals besides the one you are using and the next person decides to use the one RIGHT NEXT to you, it doesn't bother you the least bit?

 

[IreneAdler]

see... the rules I was told about (lol)

 

[Etsi]

(libertarian... sorry... I'm stuck on priave business owners rights... it's like states rights... soemthing that people like Obama have stomped on)

I'm about as anti-Obama as one can get Fine, if a restaurant doesn't want me nursing in their place of business, please post a big fat note on the door stating "no nursing mothers/babies allowed"...I'll expect it to be right next to the "no service animals allowed", "no *insert your choice of ethnicity* allowed", "no religious identifiers allowed", etc. Because we all know that SOMEONE will surely be offended