Thank you. She is doing better. Though now I need to check on my niece ... she was on her way to the emergency room as well and had emergency surgery.
What a week.
Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder if there's something about planning to join the Church that hasn't stirred up all kinds of trouble. That might sound silly, but if it weren't unwise, perhaps, to list all my recent problems here and I did it, everyone would probably think I was lying or else I was trying to write a script for a bad soap opera or something. It's almost funny, if it wasn't my life.
It came very close to pushing me into a despair that I haven't felt before. And I've been in extremely difficult situations before. More than once I've lost everything that mattered to me, and the people I loved most at the same time. Usually I turn to God even more in such circumstances, but this time was harder than before (though the circumstances were different - more personal now).
Anyway, my the specifics of my situation were not what I wanted to talk about. But it seems that the closer I get to joining the Church, the more "all hell breaks loose" - or at least that's what it feels like. And it really did affect me too much this time.
I'm ok again though. There are still difficulties. There are still losses. There are still hardships. There are still things I need to do, and things I can't do, and things where there is no right thing to do. But I'm ok now. I'm not even sure why, but yesterday I went back to my own home Church (I have LOVED getting to visit other Churches and meet wonderful folks - some from TAW and some new people - that was really great, and I've always wanted to see other Orthodox Churches!) ... but being back to my "family"meant more to me than I realized. People I don't even really know missed me!
I think we have a plan to get my husband and myself living in the same state again, hopefully within a year, without losing our house and letting us at least visit every month or two.
And I spent all day at Church, working on making cookies whose name I can't remember, but they are delicious! For the Greek Fest. Listening to the the yia-yias bicker a little over recipes, and being exposed to gossip I'd rather not, and knowing that the people who make up my "family" are not perfect, but I love them dearly.
And somehow, between the Divine Liturgy yesterday morning, and finally being able to sit down for a minute tonight with every part of my body aching - it's ok now. God is good.
Though it makes me wonder what else might happen. Fr. M. is satisfied and will receive me into the Church anytime now, and to be honest, I feel like I badly need the Sacraments, and I want to go forward. But for practicality's sake - since my Baptism can't be located, and the Festival is coming up, and Fr. will be out of town next week for a conference, it will probably still take some time.
Sorry, I know I'm rambling.
My point is, I wonder if it's weird to think that EVERYthing seems to go wrong, the closer I get to joining the Church! It seems like every step forward is met with a LOT of troubles!