Jewish Guilt and Baptism

Wanderlust Pilgrim

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I've been speaking with as many people as I can about this and I feel like perhaps somewhere, in someone, God will lead me and ease my own personal strife. I want to say first, I love Christianity, I love Christ, I love everything about this so far, I'm so excited to learn more but there is one lingering personal issue that I need to shake. As I prepare myself mentally and spiritually for baptism I am experiencing some very deep feelings of betrayal. As a Jew, I feel as though I am turning my back on my people, all those rebbe who guided me as a teen struggling with adolescence, depression, addiction and OCD, all those blessed people who could and should have left me for dead but didn't. My family, my home, and I'm having trouble shaking this. I pray, I analyze, I think. Tbh as I write this I'm almost in tears. I just don't know. My head tells me, listen to your priest and scholars, they have told you as you grow closer to God, the more your metal will be tested. Could that be true? Am I struggling with this for a reason? How can I reconcile my Jewish identity with my new found faith? Perhaps this is a lesson to be loyal to God not 'the tribe'? Please help me, any input would be awesome.

Seeing as the faith originated from my homeland and came out of Judaism, surely there is perhaps something written about this? Where in the gospels specifically can I read about the conversions of Jews specifically, what was said and so on?
 
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ArmyMatt

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well for one, being Orthodox is not a condemnation of your old culture. merely its fulfillment (just like the Anglican culture I came from). for two, we are the Christianity that is most connected to our Jewish roots. for three, you should go on youtube and look up Fr James Bernstein. he was one of the founders of Jews for Jesus and loves that in Orthodoxy his Jewish heritage, like all of ours, can be baptized by the Church.

and always keep in mind that as you approach baptism, the devil is gonna try to trip you up as much as he can.
 
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Wanderlust Pilgrim

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well for one, being Orthodox is not a condemnation of your old culture. merely its fulfillment (just like the Anglican culture I came from). for two, we are the Christianity that is most connected to our Jewish roots. for three, you should go on youtube and look up Fr James Bernstein. he was one of the founders of Jews for Jesus and loves that in Orthodoxy his Jewish heritage, like all of ours, can be baptized by the Church.

and always keep in mind that as you approach baptism, the devil is gonna try to trip you up as much as he can.

Does he have a YOUTUBE channel? There was another Jewish convert whom has a channel and I remember telling myself to stay away because he seemed crazy and also, like an over-compensating zealot and self-hating Jew.

Also, my problems aren't theological in nature, it's not like that it's more of tribal loyalty and so on. That make sense? I have no political hangups either as there have been numerous Christians whom have helped the Zionist movement.
 
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ArmyMatt

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Wryetui

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I've been speaking with as many people as I can about this and I feel like perhaps somewhere, in someone, God will lead me and ease my own personal strife. I want to say first, I love Christianity, I love Christ, I love everything about this so far, I'm so excited to learn more but there is one lingering personal issue that I need to shake. As I prepare myself mentally and spiritually for baptism I am experiencing some very deep feelings of betrayal. As a Jew, I feel as though I am turning my back on my people, all those rebbe who guided me as a teen struggling with adolescence, depression, addiction and OCD, all those blessed people who could and should have left me for dead but didn't. My family, my home, and I'm having trouble shaking this. I pray, I analyze, I think. Tbh as I write this I'm almost in tears. I just don't know. My head tells me, listen to your priest and scholars, they have told you as you grow closer to God, the more your metal will be tested. Could that be true? Am I struggling with this for a reason? How can I reconcile my Jewish identity with my new found faith? Perhaps this is a lesson to be loyal to God not 'the tribe'? Please help me, any input would be awesome.

Seeing as the faith originated from my homeland and came out of Judaism, surely there is perhaps something written about this? Where in the gospels specifically can I read about the conversions of Jews specifically, what was said and so on?
I suggest you to read Father Nicolae Steinhardt, a romanian jew that converted to Orthodoxy in prison ;) Nicolae Steinhardt - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
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All4Christ

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Wanderlust Pilgrim said:
I was totally thinking of Nathaniel but his name escaped me. Right right, thank you. Totally give this other guy a good look, thanks brother!

I second the book Surprised By Christ. I'm not Jewish (by birth or religion) but have family that is Jewish, so it was a very helpful book for me!
 
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