Is this wrong? I'm staff at a church so I want to be careful...

[ihasaquestion]

Hi all!

So here's the big situation and I'll make it short and sweet. A close friend (a guy) and I (i'm a girl) want to hear a band play in another state. It would be a short roadtrip, drive over there, stay one night, drive back. We are platonic christian friends, have been for awhile. We have two other friends joining us. They are more his friends but I like them alot. They are not Christians and also a couple. We will all share a room to cut costs. We are poor college students (early 20s) and cant afford it any other way. So it's all share a room or not go at all. But I work at a church and want to be EXTRA careful. Of course NOTHING else is happening other than sleeping. I am sleeping alone, not sharing a bed with anyone ....let me emphasize..not going to share anything with anyone. I just want an outside perspective. To me I have no conviction of this being wrong, I have prayed and thought about it endlessly. I don't think there is anything compromising about this. I am giving everything careful thought. I am only concerned about my reputation, specially working at a church. But I'm young and want to do something fun with friends, and I so so so so want to go! But I want to live above reproach and not cause others to question, but I want to make the right decision. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Bad decision? Am I over thinking it?

 

[Catherineanne]

First of all, it is your decision. You get to make choices, and you get to take responsibility for that. So far so good.

Secondly, I can't say if it is right or not because I don't know your friend. You know him, and clearly you trust him, so chances are you will all have a great time, and that is good.

However, there is such a thing as scandal, and I will at least mention it so that you can know what you are doing. Strictly speaking, scandal is giving the appearance of sinning, regardless of whether or not you actually do. And generally, scandal is to be avoided because given half a chance most people will assume the worst and not the best. And what is true of most people is doubly true of Christians, I am sorry to say.

So, you can go and return with a perfectly good conscience, but you must accept that for some people your reputation will be assumed to be tainted. The more you try to clear your name, the more the whispers will grow; nasty people will speak of smoke and fire, and will assume the worst.

So. It is your decision. If it were my decision and I trusted my friends I would go, and have fun, because life is too short to worry about what toxic people think. Just be aware they may think it.

 

[christopher morgan]

Hi questioning soul, it is good that you are concerned about your reputation. There is nothing wrong with that especially working at a church. Everything we do in life is seen and known by Our Lord or God so really, ultimately you only have to worry about what they see you do. If your conscience is clear, sharing a room with friends is no big deal. You can go back to work after the trip with the inner strength and conviction that only an honest person can have. In fact if you are both Christians then it becomes an opportunity for spiritual practice that you can both have self control in that situation and that will only strengthen your Christian values. But commit to it fully. Only you know your work situation and how going on such a trip would be seen by others. If you thought it would cause some massive reaction effecting your work then I guess you would have to way that up. But if those around you know you well and you stay honest to your intention of just sharing a room then Our Lord will be with you.
God bless, christopher

 

[Pink Spider]

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[God's Child]

Hi and welcome to CF. We have a Christian Advice forum and this would be a great question to post there. Here is the link: http://www.christianforums.com/forums/christian-advice.232/
God Bless

 

[George95]

MOD HAT ON

Moved to Christian Advice from Introduce Yourself.

MOD HAT OFF​

 

[Architeuthus]

So here's the big situation and I'll make it short and sweet. A close friend (a guy) and I (i'm a girl) want to hear a band play in another state. It would be a short roadtrip, drive over there, stay one night, drive back. We are platonic christian friends, have been for awhile. We have two other friends joining us. They are more his friends but I like them alot. They are not Christians and also a couple. We will all share a room to cut costs. We are poor college students (early 20s) and cant afford it any other way. So it's all share a room or not go at all. But I work at a church and want to be EXTRA careful. Of course NOTHING else is happening other than sleeping.

Your question seems to be mostly about whether people at church will gossip about it. The best answer is probably: talk it over with your pastor.

The "They are not Christians and also a couple" worries me though. Many people won't consider them valid chaperones.

 

[Avniel]

I believe God wants us to live a life free of bondage. I think those questions are always important for one to ask one's self has God put any conviction in your heart. If not and people have an issue with it typically speaks to their own insecurities and struggle of sin.

 

[BFine]

I'm thinking...
Poor college students who have to watch
their expenses...why get a hotel room when it's really not needed?
You said it's a short road-trip.
Besides, four people are going, you can even take terms driving
on the way back.

 

[Hospes]

Hi all!

So here's the big situation and I'll make it short and sweet. A close friend (a guy) and I (i'm a girl) want to hear a band play in another state. It would be a short roadtrip, drive over there, stay one night, drive back. We are platonic christian friends, have been for awhile. We have two other friends joining us. They are more his friends but I like them alot. They are not Christians and also a couple. We will all share a room to cut costs. We are poor college students (early 20s) and cant afford it any other way. So it's all share a room or not go at all. But I work at a church and want to be EXTRA careful. Of course NOTHING else is happening other than sleeping. I am sleeping alone, not sharing a bed with anyone ....let me emphasize..not going to share anything with anyone. I just want an outside perspective. To me I have no conviction of this being wrong, I have prayed and thought about it endlessly. I don't think there is anything compromising about this. I am giving everything careful thought. I am only concerned about my reputation, specially working at a church. But I'm young and want to do something fun with friends, and I so so so so want to go! But I want to live above reproach and not cause others to question, but I want to make the right decision. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Bad decision? Am I over thinking it?

You work at a church under the authority of the leaders. If you get their permission, then go. If you don't want to ask them for permission, then that in itself is an answer to your question.

 

[Mister_Al]

Personally, I think you should talk to your Pastor at church about it. The Bible does say that we should avoid even the appearance of evil, and it also says that bad associations corrupt good manners. But I don't know the environment your in at work, so talking to the pastor might be the best way to keep a clear conscience.

By the way, the type of music this band plays is unknown to us and should certainly be a factor to consider in deciding whether or not you should go. Christians are supposed to seperate ourselves from worldly things.

Also, consider this, do you think Jesus would be comfortable going along with you to this concert?

Blessings,

Alan

 

[Cactus Jack]

I'm with Alan, but then I also say that if you don't tell everyone no one knows and it really is none of their business. And if you keep it clean, you come back as clean and pure as your left, make that clear to those that do ask.

 

[Goodbook]

?
Depends who the band is.

If it was a band like...the carpenters..I would go!
But if it was just a band that played covers at a pub I'd stay home. They can come to my town if they really wanted.

 

[sunshine456]

Okay you be the judge of your situation and scenario....

First off by NOT going what is the chance of missteps or sin?

Now what is the probability and chance of misstepping or sinning whilst in the company of others more inclined to sin and unbelievers?

What is most important your safety or the show?

When we assume a stance to resist temptations sometimes that means altogether avoiding the scenario of temptation/s.

Is it at all possible that there well may be other unbelievers at the show as well which may give even more rise to temptation?

i know watching shows can be a form of entertainment. and if you do go pray for protection and the truth and preach to others about the truth. bringing the WORD of truth to those in need of it. Carrying the WORD; as in the scriptures wherever you go may also help to turn tides that might overwhelm you and off support in reference and in aid.

As another example.....

1 Corinthians 10:1-15King James Version (KJV)
10 Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea;

2 And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea;

3 And did all eat the same spiritual meat;

4 And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.

5 But with many of them God was not well pleased: for they were overthrown in the wilderness.

6 Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted.

7 Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.

8 Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

9 Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents.

10 Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.

11 Now all these things happened unto them for examples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

14 Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.

15 I speak as to wise men; judge ye what I say.

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>