If I was ever married to a man I would be depressed beyond words as I know for a fact he could never give me what I want in a relationship. I don't hate men, but a marriage to me at least requires a romantic love and that would never be able to manifest itself in a man for me.
Just to add the flip side to that...you and I could also not give a man what
he wants and requires in a romantic relationship. Agape is generally considered the "best," "purest" form of love, but who wants a spouse who considers the giving of affection or tenderness to be an obligation rather than a natural instinct? Who would feel fulfilled by a marriage in which even such basic things need to be forced or imitated?
The unconditional love of agape is great for strangers, God, people who care for society simply because they feel inclined to, but unless it is tempered by some philos or eros, it is a terrible foundation for a marriage. In order to be truly unconditional, agape love must be solely about the person doing the loving, and not at all dependent on the person being loved. It is "I love you just because I love you, and not because you deserve it." As a foundation for a counciling center or a rehab clinic it is perfect--yes you've messed up and don't feel worthy of help right now, but I'm still here and still going to help you. As a foundation for a marriage, it is terrible--I love you just because I'm so great that I can love any creepy old thing, and the fact that I love you says nothing about the sort of person you are; I will still deign to love you despite yourself.
Why some people feel this is superior to genuine "I love you because you are right for me and because I think you are a good person worthy of affection," is completely lost on me.
I why a facade of a marriage is superior to a genuine knitting together of souls and lives, based on that genuine affection and care, is also lost on me. Personally, I just have too much respect for marriage to degrade it like that.