Is it wrong to touch?

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imissedu

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Yes, this is a serious question for those who are not married or divorced and trying to avoid fornication. But, is it right?



I went to http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=self-abuse to look up a definitition and this is what it said:



n. self-a·buse (slf-bys)



1. Abuse of oneself or one's abilities.

2. Masturbation.

Does that change the way you think of it at all if you were in favor of it?



Biblical references please.
 

CaliforniaJosiah

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This is a THEOLOGY question?

Ahhhhh, what would a Christian website be without a few million threads on this topic?


My view:


1. Masturbation is not mentioned or even vaguely alluded to in the Bible. Silence does not suggest theology either way. Since studies say that something around 95% of single teen guys touch and about 75% of married men (the figures are a bit lower for females) and since this seems universal and likely historic, some take it that it was a very common practice in biblical times too, and so make much of the silence. I'd be careful there.



2. Some (Dr. James Dobson among them) argue that the practice per se is benign - neither good or bad, moral or not. I agree with that.



3. Some point out that the practice certainly CAN be harmful and abused - as is true of everything (drinking water can kill you, food is one of the major causes of death!).



4. Some point out that for guys, it's often associated with inappropriate content, especially now with its easy access with the internet. I suspect this is very true - however, perhaps the thing to be denounced is the inappropriate content. For some people, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee are strongly linked, does that mean that because cigarettes are bad therefore on one should ever drink coffee? Some also say it's associated with homosexuality. I doubt it; if so, 95% of guys and maybe 75% of girls would be gay.



5. AMONG CHRISTIANS, the condemnation proclaimed by some youth pastors normally just causes a lot of unresolved guilt and separation from God, and rarely results in the practice being discontinued (pledges to God seldom last more than a few days - then comes the guilt). I think because female masturbation gets far less attention in the church, such is less of an issue for girls.



6. It should be noted that SOME single guys (especially younger teens) touch at least in part as a way of avoiding messy, embarrassing, uncontrolled noctural emissions. Some also as a way of reducing sexual tension and emotions and thus making their behavior easier.



7. I've seen studies that suggest that most married men and many married women touch, too - sometimes as often as their single teen children. IF the spouse is aware and approving of this, I have no problem. But I understand such is almost always a "secret." I believe this is morally questionable since I believe that married couples are called to share their sexuality; I even tend to embrace the idea that their bodies belong to eachother and not themselves.


MY view...



- Josiah
 
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QuantaCura

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See Onan in Genesis. God killed him for spilling his seed. Some try and argue that he was killed for not giving his brother's widow more kids, but the usual punishment for that was just public humiliation, not death. God killed Onan for violating natural law. (Gen.38:9-10). In Deut. 25:5-10, a man also does not provide the widow of his brother children. God does not say he sould be killed, but rather humiliated. What did Onan do differently that earned him God's wrath? He spilled his seed purposefully.


Here's another good one:
1 Cor. 7:9 But if they do not contain themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to be burnt.

Why not just touch?


Then of course there's 2000 years of constant Christian Tradition that says it's a sin.

God gave us genitals for a purpose and it wasn't to touch.
 
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imissedu said:
Yes, this is a serious question for those who are not married or divorced and trying to avoid fornication. But, is it right?



I went to http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=self-abuse to look up a definitition and this is what it said:



n. self-a·buse (slf-bys)



1. Abuse of oneself or one's abilities.

2. Masturbation.

Does that change the way you think of it at all if you were in favor of it?



Biblical references please.


That is a ridiculous definition.
 
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praying

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CaliforniaJosiah said:
This is a THEOLOGY question?

Ahhhhh, what would a Christian website be without a few million threads on this topic?


My view:


1. Masturbation is not mentioned or even vaguely alluded to in the Bible. Silence does not suggest theology either way. Since studies say that something around 95% of single teen guys touch and about 75% of married men (the figures are a bit lower for females) and since this seems universal and likely historic, some take it that it was a very common practice in biblical times too, and so make much of the silence. I'd be careful there.



2. Some (Dr. James Dobson among them) argue that the practice per se is benign - neither good or bad, moral or not. I agree with that.



3. Some point out that the practice certainly CAN be harmful and abused - as is true of everything (drinking water can kill you, food is one of the major causes of death!).



4. Some point out that for guys, it's often associated with inappropriate content, especially now with its easy access with the internet. I suspect this is very true - however, perhaps the thing to be denounced is the inappropriate content. For some people, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee are strongly linked, does that mean that because cigarettes are bad therefore on one should ever drink coffee? Some also say it's associated with homosexuality. I doubt it; if so, 95% of guys and maybe 75% of girls would be gay.



5. AMONG CHRISTIANS, the condemnation proclaimed by some youth pastors normally just causes a lot of unresolved guilt and separation from God, and rarely results in the practice being discontinued (pledges to God seldom last more than a few days - then comes the guilt). I think because female masturbation gets far less attention in the church, such is less of an issue for girls.



6. It should be noted that SOME single guys (especially younger teens) touch at least in part as a way of avoiding messy, embarrassing, uncontrolled noctural emissions. Some also as a way of reducing sexual tension and emotions and thus making their behavior easier.



7. I've seen studies that suggest that most married men and many married women touch, too - sometimes as often as their single teen children. IF the spouse is aware and approving of this, I have no problem. But I understand such is almost always a "secret." I believe this is morally questionable since I believe that married couples are called to share their sexuality; I even tend to embrace the idea that their bodies belong to eachother and not themselves.


MY view...



- Josiah


:thumbsup:
 
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JFrench

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I think CaliforniaJosiah summed it up pretty well! As far as I see it, if you can seperate masturbation from lust (which IS a sin) and it isn't controlling you or damaging your walk with Christ or relationships with others, then you are free do so. Extreme in any area isn't good. Depriving yourself in that area may be something you personally need to do, or not. It's a personal conviction and not a sin.

"Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive." I Corinthians 10:23

"Abstain from sexual immorality" 1 Thessalonians 4:3
"Sexual immorality" defined within GOD's Word is:
• Adultery Exodus 20:14
• inappropriate behavior with animals Leviticus 18:23
• Homosexuality Leviticus 20:13

• Incest Leviticus 18:3-18
• Lust Matthew 5:28
• Orgies Galatians 5:19-21
• Prostitution Deuteronomy 23:17
• Rape Deuteronomy 22:25-27
• Sexual Harassment or Disrespect Philippians 2:3-5
• Bigamy / Polygamy I Corinthians 7:2
• Immodesty I Timothy 2:9-10

I Corinthians 6:9-10
So if what you are doing is not in this list - it's not considered sexually immoral (and I might want to footnote here that inappropriate contentography is a form of lust and that there is no such thing as pre-marital s3x (traditionally called fornication) because s3x = marriage - I Corinthians 6:16. The term fornication simply means "sexual immorality"). Anyway, I just listed one Scripture passage each here, while there are more to support them. Clearly, if masturbation was a sin, or even remotely bothered GOD, then He would have directly said so in His Word. It bothers us, that's why it's an issue.

And to throw some friendly contradiction to what QuantaCura said into the mix:
Onan in Genesis 38 didn't touch - he pulled out before [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], and the combination of not fulfilling his duty to his sister-in-law, then wife, and having s3x with her without giving her his seed was what displeased GOD. He tricked his father and her - he didn't flat out refuse to marry her like what it talks about in Deuteronomy 25:5-10.
And as far as I Corinthians 7:9 is concerned... masturbation is not a real substitute for s3x. Where one is more of a release, the other is imtimacy and passion. Masturbation does not satisfy high s3x drives nor the desire to share that part of yourself with someone else.
 
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KinderBee

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I personally do not think masturbation is a sin. It is not healthy to tell someone they are bad for taking care of their natural urges. Why should we feel that touching our own body is a dirty act? Masturbation can also teach you what you like in terms of sex so you can tell your partner when become married. It's NORMAL to think about sex and have a sex drive . That does not mean you are a sinner.When we make ourselves feel that fantasying , masturbation and even thinking about sex is a sin then its hard to get past the thought that sex is a 'bad and dirty' act when we become sexual.
 
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JFrench

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KinderBee said:
I personally do not think masturbation is a sin. It is not healthy to tell someone they are bad for taking care of their natural urges. Why should we feel that touching our own body is a dirty act? Masturbation can also teach you what you like in terms of sex so you can tell your partner when become married. It's NORMAL to think about sex and have a sex drive . That does not mean you are a sinner.When we make ourselves feel that fantasying , masturbation and even thinking about sex is a sin then its hard to get past the thought that sex is a 'bad and dirty' act when we become sexual.

Well said! Another good point on this topic - very accurate.
 
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Holly3278 said:
Yes, it is wrong to touch and I don't need scripture to back up my view point either.

Well since you said so and no scripture or anything else I guess that settles it then.
 
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Joykins

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Holly3278 said:
Yes, it is wrong to touch and I don't need scripture to back up my view point either.

That's good because there aren't any. Not one.

The referring to masturbation as self-abuse is an old expression, Victorian at least. The Victorians had a really unhealthy attitude toward sexuality, in general. Circumcision and other procedures, and pain-inflicting contraptions were used to "cure self-abuse" in children--methods that would be undeniably abusive today.

There were other whacked things about Victorian sexuality but I think I'll stop there.
 
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Joykins said:
That's good because there aren't any. Not one.

The referring to masturbation as self-abuse is an old expression, Victorian at least. The Victorians had a really unhealthy attitude toward sexuality, in general. Circumcision and other procedures, and pain-inflicting contraptions were used to "cure self-abuse" in children--methods that would be undeniably abusive today.

There were other whacked things about Victorian sexuality but I think I'll stop there.


Those Victorians were whacky, covering up the table legs for fear of eliciting a sexual response from women. Whacky is being kind.
 
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amx

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Holly3278 said:
Yes, it is wrong to touch and I don't need scripture to back up my view point either.

That's true you don't have to give an account. Paul talks about some of us being uncomfortable with some things that other Christians are ok with. I have a tender conscience when it comes to alcohol. Drinking would harm my conscience so it would be wrong for me. It would also be wrong for anyone to try to dissuade me from this decision. If someone were to convince me to go out and have a beer it would be like sin to me and the sister that did it would be held accountable for my stumbling. I would not wish to change your mind.
 
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indra_fanatic

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Let's see: What is the difference between masturbating and having sex with a goat or a camel? Both involve not only having sex with an entity besides one's spouse, but with an entity that bears no resemblance to a normal, heterosexual partner whatsoever.

I have a hard time drawing a distinction between an unrepentant masturbator and an unrepentant practicing homosexual or adulterer. Jesus did speak about anyone lusting being equal to an adulterer and Paul does warn that impurity and immorality of heart will keep you out of heaven.
 
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Joykins

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indra_fanatic said:
Let's see: What is the difference between masturbating and having sex with a goat or a camel? Both involve not only having sex with an entity besides one's spouse, but with an entity that bears no resemblance to a normal, heterosexual partner whatsoever.

To quote Woody Allen, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love! :p

I have a hard time drawing a distinction between an unrepentant masturbator and an unrepentant practicing homosexual or adulterer. Jesus did speak about anyone lusting being equal to an adulterer and Paul does warn that impurity and immorality of heart will keep you out of heaven.

This assumes that masturbation is always accompanied by lusting, which need not be the case.
 
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amx

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mhatten said:
Those Victorians were whacky, covering up the table legs for fear of eliciting a sexual response from women. Whacky is being kind.
This is incorrect. During this time women were viewed as asexual. Queen Victoria was quote to her daughter as having said- child just don't think about it lie back and think of England.
The coverings were for the sake of the men.
 
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amx said:
This is incorrect. During this time women were viewed as asexual. Queen Victoria was quote to her daughter as having said- child just don't think about it lie back and think of England.
The coverings were for the sake of the men.

Not according to various things I have read but I will do a little research. I have read the Queen Victoria comement though, either way Victorian England was sexually repressed and indeed quite whacky to put it mildly.
 
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