Is it un-Christian or antisocial to want to be alone?

[LovebirdsFlying]

Not all the time. I'm not talking about moving to a mountaintop in Tibet and never interacting with another human being ever again.

I'm talking about having a few uninterrupted hours to myself every day. I'm working on a project that requires intense concentration. Every time I get interrupted, I lose track of what I was doing and have to focus all over again, just in time for another interruption. Yes, it's very important that I finish it. No, I can't just give up on it. Doesn't seem to matter what time of day I start work on it. Even if it's in the wee hours of the morning, somebody will wake up; family's full of night owls. If it's not a human being, then the minute I start typing in earnest, a cat will jump right up into my arms and break my concentration. (Paralyze my arms, too, in the process.) As for humans, it seems the faster I'm typing, the more they want to talk to me about something else.

Time alone doesn't happen much. Even if I'm by myself in the house, the phone always seems to ring right when I'm busiest. I can understand my husband calling on his lunch break to say hello, but he usually calls at least one or two other times besides that, each shift. And if it isn't him, it's somebody else. Church, doctor's office, wrong number, whatever. Maybe that mountaintop in Tibet doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

So does this mean I just don't like people, or what?

 

[CrystalDragon]

Why in the world would that be anti-Christian? Everyone needs some alone time.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Why in the world would that be anti-Christian? Everyone needs some alone time.

The usual lecture is on how Jesus is a social person, loves people, changed water into wine at a wedding celebration, etc. When I ask for time alone, or make a request that nobody talk to me right now, please, the general sentiment is that I'm antisocial.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[AlexDTX]

Not all the time. I'm not talking about moving to a mountaintop in Tibet and never interacting with another human being ever again.

I'm talking about having a few uninterrupted hours to myself every day. I'm working on a project that requires intense concentration. Every time I get interrupted, I lose track of what I was doing and have to focus all over again, just in time for another interruption. Yes, it's very important that I finish it. No, I can't just give up on it. Doesn't seem to matter what time of day I start work on it. Even if it's in the wee hours of the morning, somebody will wake up; family's full of night owls. If it's not a human being, then the minute I start typing in earnest, a cat will jump right up into my arms and break my concentration. (Paralyze my arms, too, in the process.) As for humans, it seems the faster I'm typing, the more they want to talk to me about something else.

Time alone doesn't happen much. Even if I'm by myself in the house, the phone always seems to ring right when I'm busiest. I can understand my husband calling on his lunch break to say hello, but he usually calls at least one or two other times besides that, each shift. And if it isn't him, it's somebody else. Church, doctor's office, wrong number, whatever. Maybe that mountaintop in Tibet doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

So does this mean I just don't like people, or what?

Can Christians be put in a box? There are as many kinds of Christians as there as many kinds of people who trust Jesus.

 

[Paidiske]

I think wanting to focus on a task is fine!

I'm an introvert. I need time alone. It's how I recharge and am able to find the energy to keep loving people who can be very demanding.

I don't think there's anything wrong with recognising your needs. If you find you're withdrawing to the detriment of relationship, then it might need re-examining. But ordinary, garden variety, "I love you but I just need some peace and quiet"? I don't see any problem with that.

 

[Swan7]

Could it be that God is wanting His time with you away from all the business of life? This is just a guess, but it seems in line with scripture. When God wants to bring His people closer He seems to bring them to the wilderness, so that mountain you say might not be so far off.

Jesus often went alone to pray for an hour here and there. John the Baptist lived a lonely life to pave the way for Jesus. I really don't believe this pins you as anti-social at all.

 

[archer75]

I'm sorry to hear that people have a "usual lecture" on this for you.

I suggest ignoring them, or if you really want, have a lecture of your own based on Luke 5:16 and Mark 1:35, for starters.

 

[Anguspure]

The usual lecture is on how Jesus is a social person, loves people, changed water into wine at a wedding celebration, etc. When I ask for time alone, or make a request that nobody talk to me right now, please, the general sentiment is that I'm antisocial.

If you live where I live and work its the opposite, they seem to forget that I even exist.

 

[Tetra]

The usual lecture is on how Jesus is a social person, loves people, changed water into wine at a wedding celebration, etc. When I ask for time alone, or make a request that nobody talk to me right now, please, the general sentiment is that I'm antisocial.

Jesus may have been an extrovert.

I'm an introvert, all I want is time alone!

 

[SeventyOne]

Here's the way I see it. It's your life and your time, so...

Turn off the phone, lock the cat in another room, and tell everyone to 'go pound sand', 'get lost', and 'play in traffic' (in the nicest way possible) for a certain set of hours each day because you are busy. If it bothers them, tough.

 

[Philip_B]

Jesus was a very social person, who regularly took time to go and pray. John the Baptist was quite OK being off in the desert. Properly for us a Christians we almost certainly need as Christians a bit of both. There was in fact a who spectrum of development in early Christian Spirituality with the Desert Fathers, and they got it. Carlo Caretto wrote a few books on the subject The Desert Fathers being one, and you may find these a source of inspiration. Contemporary life is way to cluttered for the average human.

 

[Kenny'sID]

The usual lecture is on how Jesus is a social person, loves people, changed water into wine at a wedding celebration, etc. When I ask for time alone, or make a request that nobody talk to me right now, please, the general sentiment is that I'm antisocial.

People, you gotta love em, if for no other reason, Christ said so, but fortunately there is no order to always listen to them.

Take whatever time you feel you need.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Here's the way I see it. It's your life and your time, so...

Turn off the phone, lock the cat in another room, and tell everyone to 'go pound sand', 'get lost', and 'play in traffic' (in the nicest way possible) for a certain set of hours each day because you are busy. If it bothers them, tough.

I'm loving all of the answers here, but I think this one is my favorite.

Yes, the term "antisocial" has been applied to me, more in the past than in the present, usually in the context of wanting to stay home by myself and have peace and quiet while everybody else goes to a party. That's not what antisocial means. Somebody who is truly antisocial would go to the party all right, for the deliberate purpose of making trouble and ruining everybody else's good time.

Nowadays, they don't come right out and *call* me antisocial, but they won't honor my request to leave me alone either. They'll talk a mile a minute, talk to me more when I've got headphones on than at any other time, and have hurt feelings if I say anything about it.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

It pays to set quiet times and stick to your guns.
No interruptions mean just that, they get no pass to continue to disrespect me by not doing what be asked of them.
We have a ton of grandbabies and believe you me they also know to mind when they here.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

LOL.

(And yes, this particular post is meant to be light-hearted.)

It's official. Even being in the bathroom doesn't guarantee having time to myself. Phone rings, I don't hear it, doggone if my husband doesn't bring it right on in and tell me it's for me. The days of "I'm sorry, she can't come to the phone right now, can I take a message?" are over, in these modern times when our phones can go anywhere we can go.

Yeah, he's my husband. Yeah, it's my daughter calling, and yeah, it might be important. But sometimes I think I'm the only person in the house who knows the meaning of the word "boundaries."

 

[Cimorene]

I don't think that it is, bc sometimes you need to recharge your batteries.

 

[Paul Yohannan]

The usual lecture is on how Jesus is a social person, loves people, changed water into wine at a wedding celebration, etc. When I ask for time alone, or make a request that nobody talk to me right now, please, the general sentiment is that I'm antisocial.

Whoever says that to you is being both uncharitable and judgmental. Also we do have a number of Christian saints who became solitaries, like St. Anthony.

 

[Paul Yohannan]

Yes, the term "antisocial" has been applied to me, more in the past than in the present,

Unless you are secretly plotting to overthrow the government of Luxembourg and install yourself as the new Grand Duchess, and then wage a total war with Belgium, I would say "antisocial" is a misnomer.

Seriously though, antisocial people are people who engage in criminality, or predatory behavior, which is very obviously not you.

 

[Tull]

If extroverts only knew how much of a torment they can be to us introverts,stop telling us we need to be more like you,stop telling us Jesus was just like you because you don't know that.....and please stop with clichés like coming out of our comfort zone and coming out of our shell,we know we can take our behavior too far just like you can and often do.....God made both of us.