Is it appropriate to view your child's Myspace page?

[BassmanOz]

My two girls (15/14) have Myspace pages, as a lot of teens do. However, they get very sensitive if myself or my wife happen to look at the computer screen while they are looking at/posting on Myspace. They believe that we are invading their privacy. However, we have been alerted to some alarming stuff on other people's Myspace pages that our girls are friends with, and it concerns us that there may be other things that they could potentially view that we might not necessarily like.
For instance, one of my girls "added" a young girl who was a former student at the school my wife teaches at. This girl and other members of her family are well known for things like breaking into houses, drug use etc, and are not really the kind of kids we would like our girls accociating with. Although she has since blocked this girl, it makes us wonder who else they have as "friends".

What are your thoughts on parents viewing their kids' Myspace/Facebook etc pages? Is it a breach of their privacy? Or do parents have the right to see what their kids are up to?

 

[GuidanceNeeded]

My two girls (15/14) have Myspace pages, as a lot of teens do. However, they get very sensitive if myself or my wife happen to look at the computer screen while they are looking at/posting on Myspace. They believe that we are invading their privacy. However, we have been alerted to some alarming stuff on other people's Myspace pages that our girls are friends with, and it concerns us that there may be other things that they could potentially view that we might not necessarily like.
For instance, one of my girls "added" a young girl who was a former student at the school my wife teaches at. This girl and other members of her family are well known for things like breaking into houses, drug use etc, and are not really the kind of kids we would like our girls accociating with. Although she has since blocked this girl, it makes us wonder who else they have as "friends".

What are your thoughts on parents viewing their kids' Myspace/Facebook etc pages? Is it a breach of their privacy? Or sdo parents have the right to see what their kids are up to?

I too have 2 girls (15/13), when they made a Myspace account it was with the understanding at any time I can go on their accounts and see whats going on.

I too have a Myspace account and have them as friends. It's not that I don't trust their judgement, it's just I like to keep up with what they are up too.

I see nothing wrong with it. It's called responsible parenting, IMHO

Hope this helped

God Bless
Melissa

 

[BassmanOz]

Thank you Melissa!
In hindsight we probably should have insisted that we could view their pages at any time before they made the accounts. But unfortunately they created them without our knowledge.

 

[Kid Fish]

Anything published for all to see is fair game. If you girls insist on privacy, tell them to get a diary, or write letters to their friends. Keep the computer in the family room and don't let them have computers with internet access in their rooms.

Tough to be a parent these days, no doubt.

 

[BassmanOz]

Anything published for all to see is fair game. If you girls insist on privacy, tell them to get a diary, or write letters to their friends. Keep the computer in the family room and don't let them have computers with internet access in their rooms.

No, no computers in their rooms. Musch to the youngest one's disgust

Tough to be a parent these days, no doubt.

Oh yeah. It's always tough, but I wouldn't swap it for the world

 

[a.d.ivNonasNovembres]

Everyone else in the world can see it so you might as well. With luck you'll teach them a valuable lesson about the nonexistence of privacy on the internet.

You might also remind them future employers may well be able to look at this stuff, even after they delete it by various means. I wish people had been firm about that with me when I was younger and humiliated myself online more even than I do now.

 

[MckDawg04]

I think it's very responsible of you to view and monitor what your children are doing on Myspace.

Even though your daughters might not understand now, it's for their own good. I'm sure there will be an incident where monitoring their Myspace accounts will be very beneficial.

 

[JCFantasy23]

14 yeah, 15 is almost pushing it, depends on the ages of the teens IMO. And actually privacy is not always void on the internet, especially considering one can set their MySpace page to "private" where only friends can view it. Since they are minors, MySpace respects parents though so you shouldn't have any problem checking out their pages when you see fit.

 

[homeofmew]

yeah well you can use your computer to look at their myspace you don't have to be physically over their shoulder.

btw a 13 year old can not sign up for myspace without parents permission via rules on myspace.

COPPA I believe usually wears off when ones turns 13, but for myspace they make it 14 (donno why just the way it is)

 

[BassmanOz]

yeah well you can use your computer to look at their myspace you don't have to be physically over their shoulder.

btw a 13 year old can not sign up for myspace without parents permission via rules on myspace.

COPPA I believe usually wears off when ones turns 13, but for myspace they make it 14 (donno why just the way it is)

Yes, I realise this, but as JCFantasy said, it's possible for users to set their profile to "Private". I have viewed my eldest daughter's profile and hers is set to private.

I didn't realise you have to have parent's permission to sign up at 13. Interesting. Obviously my girls lied about their ages. And so did most of their friends too, since they are all similar age and most have had Myspace accounts for a while.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I will be keeping a close eye on their online activities.

 

[bliz]

Time for a family meeting at which you will change the internet rules. Give them a few days to make any changes... including that you will be able to log on and see their whole page or account or wall or whaever, that way you will no longer have to read over their shoulders, which can be quite annoying.

 

[homeofmew]

you changed her Daughter's age from 13 to 14 =/
setting to private is fine then; then not everyone can view it.

another way to see your kids profile, is to make a profile yourself then friend her.

it's pretty easy to lie about your age.
Heck I could make my birthday February 29th 1984 (which it isn't) xD.

Eligibility. Use of the MySpace Services and registration to be a Member for the MySpace Services (“Membership&#8221 is void where prohibited. By using the MySpace Services, you represent and warrant that (a) all registration information you submit is truthful and accurate; (b) you will maintain the accuracy of such information; (c) you are 13 years of age or older; and (d) your use of the MySpace Services does not violate any applicable law or regulation. Your profile may be deleted and your Membership may be terminated without warning, if we believe that you are under 13 years of age, if we believe that you are under 18 years of age and you represent yourself as 18 or older, or if we believe you are over 18 and represent yourself as under 18.

--MYSPACE

oh it looks like they did change it to 13.
I remember it being 14 when it first opened.

 

[jellodirt]

Both my wife and I created myspace/facebook pages and we are our daughter's "friends". That's the deal she can either take it or leave it. In all honesty I rarely go on her pages but I think the threat keeps her a little more honest.

 

[Blessed*By*HIM]

I have 2 teenagers ( a junior and a senior) and I am their friends on Facebook and Myspace. We actually leave messages for one another and they don't have a problem with my looking at thier pages. If a teenager is upset by you invading thier privacy, it's usually because they are doing or saying something that they know you wouldn't approve of. I think there is nothing wrong with checking up on them online!

 

[MarcL]

Lets face it, we are raising our children in an electronic era, they are now exposed to the world which is very scary. I have always monitored my kids activities online, it's the smart thing to do in my opinion. If it upsets them, it's very easy to unplug the pc. So many young people are opening their lives to strangers online, just makes me ill.

 

[b.hopeful]

My 12 yo has a facebook page. I love it. We have family in other states and family that is out of town and she talks to them as much as I do,lol. I leave comments on there to let her know I'm looking around. She's only allowed to add family members or schoolmates. If they are just friends of friends...we have to sign off on it and only do so if we've met them. It's the modern equivalent of note passing in her case...pretty harmless...but I would not be ok with it if I couldn't check up on her.

 

[bliz]

Thank you Melissa!
In hindsight we probably should have insisted that we could view their pages at any time before they made the accounts. But unfortunately they created them without our knowledge.

Rules can change. Inform your kids that they need to accept you and you wife as friends, or whatever, and that you will look at their pages from time to time. This actually may be more acceptable to them than having you peer over their shoulders when they are on. Your house - your computer - your rules.

 

[seaisabella]

I have 2 teenagers ( a junior and a senior) and I am their friends on Facebook and Myspace. We actually leave messages for one another and they don't have a problem with my looking at thier pages. If a teenager is upset by you invading thier privacy, it's usually because they are doing or saying something that they know you wouldn't approve of. I think there is nothing wrong with checking up on them online!

I disagree, if a teenager is upset by you invading their privacy its probably because they feel you don't trust them and they haven't done anything that warrants your mistrust. There isn't anything wrong with checking up with teens online to an extent, however I know a lot of mothers who have teenage children who call them "stalker-moms" because they follow everything they do on facebook.
You have to asses your actual motives for wanting to be able to check-up on their online activities, are you just really nosy or is there something you are actually concerned about? Do you not communicate, or feel your teenager would not communicate with you about something that she would online? Do you have a good relationship, or is this your way of forcing them to have a relationship with you? ect...

 

[MarcL]

Would have to disagree with last post, my motive for keeping tabs on the teen is due to the "other" users out there on the internet. It's not a matter of trusting your teen, can you trust complete strangers combing the internet...this is my concern.

 

[b.hopeful]

Ditto. I basically keep an eye on her friends list, make sure she's not posting real personal info(my niece posted her phone number) and making sure the pics are appropriate/to my standards. My daughter had a pic of her in her school sweatshirt and it was on a public setting...not cool.