Let me start by saying that there is almost nothing in my third-world country that I consider remotely positive (there are few good things but overall it is worse than hell). I hate living in my country and my native culture with a burning passion. Now, before internet, I thought life in every first world countries are alright. Well, from what I've seen, I was not much wrong. There are few hardships, but in comparison to where I live (a semi-urban medieval age slum), even redneckville looks better. So I hope you can understand my desire to be out.
Now, I've been planning this and trying to get out for sometime. But my luck. Every little progress I make places even larger and larger obstacles in my path. This was also in part due to my parents being huge moron and not asking me to make my passport when it could have been done without tremendous hassle (if you move to another city and you are a new applicant, you better give up any hope). Well that hurdle is over now. But now, it looks like I may not get any opportunities for another whole year. So for one full year, I have to sit in my home and curse my misfortune.
Now when I see people in US, I see many good people, some doing well, some struggling to get by. But what I cannot stand is when I also see a large group of people there, who are so immature, stupid, degenerate, pseudo-intellectual, retards basically destroying everything that is good in US. I also feel a bit of rage when I see their young generation under-utilizing and wasting away the immense help, resource and opportunity available to them, only to fail at life again and again and blame society for not doing enough. I mean I think what wouldn't I do if I had only one-tenth of what they have for themselves. And it makes my temper go high again when I see people from my country going there and taking their awful culture with them. Apparently, living here did not teach them a thing.
And here I am, sitting in this damn place, ranting and raging about my life. My life, which can be considered a failure even by the lowest standard. At every step of my life, I have been hurt badly by my native culture. At this moment, there are only two goals in my life. Get out of my country and get a date. None of them have any signs of fulfilment.
So I think sometimes, that there must be an easy way to fulfil my desire. And that is to giving up and dropping dead. The mental pain I feel is so great that I often think I'd rather be happy not feeling anything at all. So I pray to God, so that I can just be dead. Like after I pray and go to sleep, I will never wake up again. If that happens that would be best for me. Is there a chance of my getting eternal relief now?
Now, I've been planning this and trying to get out for sometime. But my luck. Every little progress I make places even larger and larger obstacles in my path. This was also in part due to my parents being huge moron and not asking me to make my passport when it could have been done without tremendous hassle (if you move to another city and you are a new applicant, you better give up any hope). Well that hurdle is over now. But now, it looks like I may not get any opportunities for another whole year. So for one full year, I have to sit in my home and curse my misfortune.
Now when I see people in US, I see many good people, some doing well, some struggling to get by. But what I cannot stand is when I also see a large group of people there, who are so immature, stupid, degenerate, pseudo-intellectual, retards basically destroying everything that is good in US. I also feel a bit of rage when I see their young generation under-utilizing and wasting away the immense help, resource and opportunity available to them, only to fail at life again and again and blame society for not doing enough. I mean I think what wouldn't I do if I had only one-tenth of what they have for themselves. And it makes my temper go high again when I see people from my country going there and taking their awful culture with them. Apparently, living here did not teach them a thing.
And here I am, sitting in this damn place, ranting and raging about my life. My life, which can be considered a failure even by the lowest standard. At every step of my life, I have been hurt badly by my native culture. At this moment, there are only two goals in my life. Get out of my country and get a date. None of them have any signs of fulfilment.
So I think sometimes, that there must be an easy way to fulfil my desire. And that is to giving up and dropping dead. The mental pain I feel is so great that I often think I'd rather be happy not feeling anything at all. So I pray to God, so that I can just be dead. Like after I pray and go to sleep, I will never wake up again. If that happens that would be best for me. Is there a chance of my getting eternal relief now?
