Is A Bottle Of Wine/Night Bad?

[madison1101]

Ok...shall do. And, maybe I'll just check out a meeting anyway; it can't hurt!

Excellent open minded attitude...the worst that could happen is you meet some really great people who care about others, and you get a really good cup of AA coffee.

 

[BobW188]

Give it a try; and hang in there!

By the way, I can't think of anyone who wanted to go to their first AA meeting. Really wanted, as you might want a meal or a drink. But a lot of us stayed. And even if you're right in your perspective, you may get some new insights on it or others that will be useful when boredom rears its head again.

Whatever works for you, do it; but I think I'll have a lot of company in telling you that the biggest mistake most people make is thinking they can do it alone. At the very least, keep coming back here.

 

[madison1101]

Give it a try; and hang in there!

By the way, I can't think of anyone who wanted to go to their first AA meeting. Really wanted, as you might want a meal or a drink. But a lot of us stayed. And even if you're right in your perspective, you may get some new insights on it or others that will be useful when boredom rears its head again.

Whatever works for you, do it; but I think I'll have a lot of company in telling you that the biggest mistake most people make is thinking they can do it alone. At the very least, keep coming back here.

That's right, Bob. I really believed I did not need anyone to help me get and stay sober. To be honest, I did not want the help of the people in AA. I thought I was better than them, and that I could do it with God alone. I was dead wrong. I drank myself sick during my last relapse.

The Big Book of AA says that "self-knowledge avails us nothing." I had been in therapy for 18 years, and had a Masters in Social Work and was leading my own group therapy sessions on a psychiatric hospital. I had done extensive research in graduate school on the treatment of alcoholism for women.

BUT, I did not know how to stop drinking during my relapse, and I did not know how to stay stopped.

Trish

 

[humble_seeker_nate]

I would or will sometimes drink wine to justify drinking, I would always end up drinking more than what I anticipated.

 

[madison1101]

I would or will sometimes drink wine to justify drinking, I would always end up drinking more than what I anticipated.

A lot of people will try to drink softer alcoholic drinks in order to rationalize their drinking behaviors. Also, many alcoholics think they can "slow down" and only have a few, but true alcoholics are unable to stop once they get started. Also, it does not matter to the brain what the type of alcohol it is, just that it is alcohol. Beer, wine coolers, wine, vodka, whiskey, rum, they are all going to cause the same reaction in an alcoholic's brain.

Check out AA and learn how we stopped and don't ever have to start drinking again.

Trish

 

[ArtisticAthlete]

delete

 

[ArtisticAthlete]

Ok...soooo:

1. Is there a difference btw being a college party animal and being an alcoholic? (Why? b/c I only drink a lot once a week and most of my college friends get drunk at least 2-3 times a week. What does that make them? Eeeekkk.)

2. All b/c you drink a lot, does that make you an alcoholic? I think I've asked this b4 but I'm just double checking. I may drink once a week but when I do drink, I drink a lot b/c I have a high tolerance. (<--not an excuse, just a fact )

3. Do alcoholics have different personalities?? Do they have personalities (I hear that's why they call liquor spirits...for reals) take over when they start drinking? I feel like I'm a totally different person when I start drinking. Not a bad person but...different. This different person drinks...A LOT! Whatever sober-limits I set for myself...are thrown out of the window b/c I could care less once I start drinking; something takes over and I'm like...eh. (And, when I say drinking, it could be one sip. One sip and it's over..I turn into the party animal that could drink a 6ft, muscle man under the table.) Where does that come from?

4. I crave a sip of alcohol at least once a week..is that normal? (<--probably not buuutttt I wanted to ask anyway. Sigh.)

5. If I ignore the cravings, will it go away if I don't get help?? (i.e. AA meetings) I hear once you do something for 30 straight days it becomes a habit...

6. When I'm sober. I feel completely different...like, I don' t have a problem. But, once I take that 1st sip, the thought pops back into my head that I might have a problem. Normal? If so, why does this happen?

Ugh...I'm so frustrated! I don't feel like I should go to an AA meeting b/c I only drink once a week (if that...well, now it has evolved into at least once a week b/c I'm bored. Ugh! Maybe if I had a life and my friend here I wouldn't?) but I'm starting to think the amount of drinking I do drink, when I drink, isn't normal. For instance, when I went out a couple of weeks ago, I had about 10 drinks. Eeeekkk. 10 drinks = 3 glasses of wine, 2 mini margaritas b/c they were on sale and 5 mixed drinks over a 3 hrs period when I got to the bar. Granted, I started drinking from 7pm-4am buuuttt that's still a lot, right? )

Edit: Ignore the grammatical errors...I don't feel like proofreading. I'm just thinking n typing.

 

[Your Friend Adam]

Ok...soooo:

1. Is there a difference btw being a college party animal and being an alcoholic? (Why? b/c I only drink a lot once a week and most of my college friends get drunk at least 2-3 times a week. What does that make them? Eeeekkk.)

2. All b/c you drink a lot, does that make you an alcoholic? I think I've asked this b4 but I'm just double checking. I may drink once a week but when I do drink, I drink a lot b/c I have a high tolerance. (<--not an excuse, just a fact )

3. Do alcoholics have different personalities?? Do they have personalities (I hear that's why they call liquor spirits...for reals) take over when they start drinking? I feel like I'm a totally different person when I start drinking. Not a bad person but...different. This different person drinks...A LOT! Whatever sober-limits I set for myself...are thrown out of the window b/c I could care less once I start drinking; something takes over and I'm like...eh. (And, when I say drinking, it could be one sip. One sip and it's over..I turn into the party animal that could drink a 6ft, muscle man under the table.) Where does that come from?

4. I crave a sip of alcohol at least once a week..is that normal? (<--probably not buuutttt I wanted to ask anyway. Sigh.)

5. If I ignore the cravings, will it go away if I don't get help?? (i.e. AA meetings) I hear once you do something for 30 straight days it becomes a habit...

6. When I'm sober. I feel completely different...like, I don' t have a problem. But, once I take that 1st sip, the thought pops back into my head that I might have a problem. Normal? If so, why does this happen?

Ugh...I'm so frustrated! I don't feel like I should go to an AA meeting b/c I only drink once a week (if that...well, now it has evolved into at least once a week b/c I'm bored. Ugh! Maybe if I had a life and my friend here I wouldn't?) but I'm starting to think the amount of drinking I do drink, when I drink, isn't normal. For instance, when I went out a couple of weeks ago, I had about 10 drinks. Eeeekkk. 10 drinks = 3 glasses of wine, 2 mini margaritas b/c they were on sale and 5 mixed drinks over a 3 hrs period when I got to the bar. Granted, I started drinking from 7pm-4am buuuttt that's still a lot, right? )

Edit: Ignore the grammatical errors...I don't feel like proofreading. I'm just thinking n typing.

Amigo,

I suggest that you read the first 164 pages of the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" and draw your own conclusion about whether you're an alcoholic or not.

As a bonus to my suggestion, I heard many times at many meetings that "normal (non-alcoholic) drinkers" don't ask the kinds of questions that you've asked.

God bless.

 

[Kid Fish]

Sounds like binge drinking. I sometimes crave a whiskey as I developed a fondness for the taste, but I wouldn't down ten shots. If you can't drink in moderation, then drinking is dangerous to you. I watch myself very carefully on my intake and sometimes I would like more but I refuse to give in. If you don't have control over the booze, then it controls you, even one night a week.

 

[ArtisticAthlete]

Sounds like binge drinking. I sometimes crave a whiskey as I developed a fondness for the taste, but I wouldn't down ten shots. If you can't drink in moderation, then drinking is dangerous to you. I watch myself very carefully on my intake and sometimes I would like more but I refuse to give in. If you don't have control over the booze, then it controls you, even one night a week.

Are all binge drinkers alcoholics? I think this is a relevant question on college campuses. We say we're not alcoholics but eh...maybe we are. If that's the case, most people are alcoholics then?

And, I understand where you are coming from. If I had something to do the next day, I'd stop drinking at 2 (actually, I wouldn't even be drinking) but when it's the weekend and I've gone out...I normally tell myself I will stop at 2 drinks, but after 2 drinks, I normally don't care b/c it's the weekend and I'm like eh...whatever...I'll just sleep in if I have too much.

Fyi- the 10 drinks I had, over the course of 10 hrs (yeah, we were up late), were small. The small, cheap drinks you get when bars try to throw a deal your way...but, I guess that's still a lot.

 

[BobW188]

First, to Your Friend Adam and Kid Fish, thanks for coming up on the thread and sharing. Hope you'll stick around, check out some of the other threads on Alcohol Abuse, and share your insights and support.

Welcome back, Artistic Athlete! I don't have to PM the "regulars": - BlessEwe, Madison, Main Exception, hotsauce et. al. to know that we've all been thinking of you, hoping for the best, prepared for the worst. I think YourFriendAdam and Kid Fish have pretty well addressed your questions. Your "high tolerance" seems to be coupled with the inability to control your drinking once you start, and that is a sign of alcoholism. If we were psychologists or psychiatrists, we could debate whether you should be diagnosed as "Alcohol Abuse" or "Alcohol Dependent;" but as lay people we can just say: looks like you've got a problem.
There is no single "alcoholic personality." Some people become violent, some become very quiet. Some become loud and talkative, some quiet and reflective. Also, your behavior under the influence can depend a lot on the environment you're drinking in, what's gone on in your life lately, who you're with.
I'm afraid the 30 Day rule doesn't apply to us alcoholics. We're always "one drink away from a drunk." I knew one man who, finding as a young man that his drinking was affecting his work and his marriage, quit for 26 years; resuming when he was retired and his wife had died. He was in treatment and AA within six months. There is a strong genetic component, the tendency is always there. Some treatment programs claim to teach "controlled use." I don't trust such claims, the penalty for failiure is just too high.
Most of us, when sober, probably thought we didn't have a problem. After all, we were sober! And "everyone knows" that alcoholics aren't! We weren't on the streets or in jail. (In my case, I was the Book-In officer, not the one being booked; and wore the badge and not the jumpsuit, so "obviously" I didn't have the problem!) I'll guess that most of us were more open to considering we had a drinking problem after we'd had a drink or two. The problem was, that seldom if ever led us to do anything about it. In fact, we coped with the stress of having the problem by having more drinks, which led to more stress ... which led to more drinks ... which led etc etc etc until some of us died, some of us went off to do felony time, some of us became permanently psychotic. Alas, understanding this problem does not, alone, lead to change.

Finally, the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. As you make meetings and meet people, you'll find many who, like you, did not go beyond weekly or perhaps even monthly binges. I'll go so far as to say that I know of no better place to be accepted for who you are, where you are than the average AA meeting. One way or another, we've all been where you are now; and we of all people know, at least in this aspect of our lives, about "Judge not, lest ye be judged."
I join Adam in suggesting you check out the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. It's easy to search out online. If you prefer a real book, that's also available online and Borders, B&N and other chains usually have a few copies. The portion he's telling you about was written in 1939 so the language may now and then seem antiquated; but I think you'll find the message comes through.
We're all with you, gal. We worry about people we don't hear from. None of us found quitting easy; all of us faced our first contacts with AA in fear and defeat. We can be pretty confrontative on this thread, me especially; but our anger isn't at you. It's at our common condition; and what it does to good people like you. Drop by more often. We care. Keep coming back!

 

[Kid Fish]

Are all binge drinkers alcoholics? I think this is a relevant question on college campuses. We say we're not alcoholics but eh...maybe we are. If that's the case, most people are alcoholics then?

And, I understand where you are coming from. If I had something to do the next day, I'd stop drinking at 2 (actually, I wouldn't even be drinking) but when it's the weekend and I've gone out...I normally tell myself I will stop at 2 drinks, but after 2 drinks, I normally don't care b/c it's the weekend and I'm like eh...whatever...I'll just sleep in if I have too much.

Fyi- the 10 drinks I had, over the course of 10 hrs (yeah, we were up late), were small. The small, cheap drinks you get when bars try to throw a deal your way...but, I guess that's still a lot.

It would be presumptuous to say all binge drinkers are alcoholics, but certainly the propensity to binge must be a warning sign. I'm not an addiction expert and I don't have a problem with people occasionally tying one on, and for all I know your tolerance level could simply be a matter of metabolic efficiency.

Sorry I can't be a better source of info for you, but honestly every person is an individual so there are no cut and dry answers.

 

[ArtisticAthlete]

Thanks for the responses...again. I will keep you guys posted. Now, I know I can't drink in moderation so I guess alcohol is a no-go for me. One day at a time!

 

[hotsauce5000]

one day at a time is right.

go introduce yourself to your local AA group, especially if it is very close to home and you feel comfortable there. you dont have to say anything if you dont want to. make yourself a sign in sheet and have someone sign it everytime you go. i wont go into an explantion of my suggestion right now, but it has worked for me. if you do this for yourself, you will figure it out on your own.
just go there and pay attention to what you hear.

 

[ArtisticAthlete]

one day at a time is right.

go introduce yourself to your local AA group, especially if it is very close to home and you feel comfortable there. you dont have to say anything if you dont want to. make yourself a sign in sheet and have someone sign it everytime you go. i wont go into an explantion of my suggestion right now, but it has worked for me. if you do this for yourself, you will figure it out on your own.
just go there and pay attention to what you hear.

I still don't think I need AA. Yes, I shouldn't drink b/c in moderation never really happens for me but I don't feel like I need AA b/c I don't drink all of the time. The only time I abuse alcohol is if I start drinking...which may be 2 times/mo...if that. Although, I hear people say it's not how often you drink, but how much you drink when you do drink but it still makes me wonder if I need AA??

 

[madison1101]

I still don't think I need AA. Yes, I shouldn't drink b/c in moderation never really happens for me but I don't feel like I need AA b/c I don't drink all of the time. The only time I abuse alcohol is if I start drinking...which may be 2 times/mo...if that. Although, I hear people say it's not how often you drink, but how much you drink when you do drink but it still makes me wonder if I need AA??

I was saying the exact things you just said when I first was confronted about my drinking 20 years ago. Alcoholism is insidious, which means it is cunning, baffling and powerful. The beauty part of AA is that it does not define alcoholism in terms of how often you drink, but about the fact that when I drink, I can't stop or moderate it, and then when I drink, not so nice things happen. Download the AA Big Book, and read "the Doctor's Opinion," and other chapters in the beginning of the book. See if it makes any sense to you. Also, read Chapter 5, "How it Works."

I also suggest you just attend a few AA meetings and see if you identify with the FEELINGS that people share, not the quantity or frequency of their drinking. The only requirement for membership is the DESIRE to stop drinking.

God bless.

Trish

 

[sylk]

That's a lot of wine. You want to be really careful this doesn't become a more common occurrence, but even a couple times a month isn't great. You must be feeling pretty slammed when your goblet is empty.

I have nothing against drinking. I myself drink in moderation, which is why the idea of drinking an entire bottle of wine in one sitting concerns me.

Here's a suggestion, next time you want some wine, use a regular wine glass, and limit yourself to one or two. One of the things I think about is how I really enjoy a beer or a whiskey from time to time and I would hate to have to give them up because I became an alcoholic.

I agree with everything you said.

God bless you Artistic!

 

[ArtisticAthlete]

To answer my own question concerning the OP...yes, I think that's bad, now. Lol. I can't even believe I posted that question. I guess because all of my friends can finish off a bottle of wine in one night...I didn't think anything about it.

Get a bunch of girls together and the wine starts flowing. Before you know it, multiple bottles of wine are gone within a couple of hours. Is that not normal? Seems normal in college. (or with any girls night)

 

[BobW188]

The problem is that it is normal in college. Was in my day, was in my Dad's, was when Tom Jefferson got together with the guys at William&Mary and was, no doubt, normal after a hard day of listening to Plato or Confucius. The real problem is - and it was mine and that of men and women in all the generations I've mentioned - is that it doesn't always stop after college. In my case, not for 17 years after when the bottom of my life fell out. I'll add that some of your past posts indicate that your drinking isn't confined to those "getting a bunch together" scenarios.

Here's some questions that you might want to answer. (Not necessarily to us; but certainly to yourself.) How artistic have you felt lately? How athletic? In both endeavors, what have you produced lately?