international marriage: how to understand all

[bottledwater]

* Share this scripture with your wife:
Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God forgave you."

Talk about it and apply it in your lives as often as it is needed.

This guy is gutsy, I wouldn't drive an hour and a half to Toronto, to commit to some girl that I barely knew. She would have to be something right out of this world.
I truly hope that it works out for both of them, and I pray that they find what they are looking for in each other.
God Bless them.

 

[Architeuthus]

She isn't your wife.

Well, she is in a legal sense, if they signed paperwork in a government registry office.

 

[BFine]

This guy is gutsy, I wouldn't drive an hour and a half to Toronto, to commit to some girl that I barely knew. She would have to be something right out of this world.

I truly hope that it works out for both of them, and I pray that they find what they are looking for in each other.
God Bless them.

*I met my husband online and we married within 3 months... we would of married in less time than that but his daughter was getting married in August-- we'd gotten engaged and decided not to do anything to take away from her special day, it being her first wedding (and she was the only daughter etc.) So we kept things on the quiet and got married the following month in the small town I'm from in North Carolina.
We have been married since Sept. of 2002... our marriage upset a lot of people since we didn't have much
courtship history and we didn't know each other's families etc. The most welcoming person was my new
mother in-law would took me in right away and was vocal about saying our marriage should be supported.

 

[bottledwater]

*I met my husband online and we married within 3 months... we would of married in less time than that but his daughter was getting married in August-- we'd gotten engaged and decided not to do anything to take away from her special day, it being her first wedding (and she was the only daughter etc.) So we kept things on the quiet and got married the following month in the small town I'm from in North Carolina.
We have been married since Sept. of 2002... our marriage upset a lot of people since we didn't have much
courtship history and we didn't know each other's families etc. The most welcoming person was my new
mother in-law would took me in right away and was vocal about saying our marriage should be supported.

I think that is wonderful. God bless you both, and belated congats.
Night BFine.

 

[Goodbook]

Thats good to know Bfine I think its important to have an elders blessing of at least one parent.

3 months though...were you emailing or chatting every day? Did he fly down to see you first? How did you know for sure (have I asked you this before?).

 

[Cernunnos]

Yup, betting it is an internet thing.

Wifey isn't a devout Japanese national with a penchant for ministering to Somali Moslems is she? Nevermind, that was my horror story. . . .

Just saying. . . there are plenty of women out there who get on these dating sites and hunt down pockets in the country of their choosing and who wears the pants isn't nearly as important as the size of the pockets in those pants & they have little or no interest in anything inside those pants, once they believe they have ya "on the hook".

Get it annulled, get out, and stay away from internet dating! There are as many predators hunting men as hunting women!

 

[Goodbook]

Philipino women have a reputation for wanting to marry rich forieigners...sad to say.
I think some are so desperate they would marry a wanted criminal. As has happened in my country, this guy called kimdot com, filipino women married him not caring that he was complete dubious character embezzling heaps of cash for his internet empire. Oh no, she says she loves him, then next thing we know she divorces him, and according to laws in my country that means anyone lving more than two years in a relationship, doesnt have to beeven officially married, gets half. So..shes happy, and then gets her face and million dollar mansion plastered over the womans day and other hags mags describing her hard luck story.

 

[bottledwater]

Philipino women have a reputation for wanting to marry rich forieigners...sad to say.
I think some are so desperate they would marry a wanted criminal. As has happened in my country, this guy called kimdot com, filipino women married him not caring that he was complete dubious character embezzling heaps of cash for his internet empire. Oh no, she says she loves him, then next thing we know she divorces him, and according to laws in my country that means anyone lving more than two years in a relationship, doesnt have to beeven officially married, gets half. So..shes happy, and then gets her face and million dollar mansion plastered over the womans day and other hags mags describing her hard luck story.

Same thing in Canada. They only need to live common law for 6 months and she gets half.
I was married for 11 months and I got cleaned right out, and she was living in low income housing when I met her. I bought a big country home for her and her two kids.
In fact, my bank told me that she could not be on the mortgage because she had just gone thru a bankruptcy with her first husband, and if she was on it, they couldn't give it to me. So, I did it on my own.
That was the only thing that saved me from her taking it along with everything else she took.
I do wanna say here that I am glad that she left me. I have been happy being alone for the last 14 years, I have had a couple of flings, but all in all, this is how I have come to like it best. Some of us are meant to be alone, and I am one of them.
Maybe she saw that in me, and needed more from a man.
So, I don't wanna run her down.
I see that I went on a rant again, as per my norm. lol..lol..

I do wanna add here that it isn't just girls taking guys to the cleaners, and using them.
A girl that I was common law with for 6 1/2 years, married a guy from Iran before she met me, so that he could stay in Canada. They married and immediately went their own way. She met him in the pizza shop she worked in while studying to be a systems analyst at NAIT.
So she was young and foolish, and did this out of compassion.

I am telling you these things because I do wanna be fair and show that it isn't always a sham. In both of the examples I showed here. There were extenuating cicumstances.

 

[Avniel]

Who cares about you and your husband, this isn't about you

Oh my

 

[Avniel]

I'm a New Yorker so it's not a shocking story either they have the money for a business marriage or they find a "sucka for love."

You changed the program now shes trapped and can't con her way out

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

To many I know that have an international relationship marry ASAP and I think thats dangerous. You really need to spend time together and make sure the person is legit. Granted I asked my wife to marry me after only a month I think lol. But we didn't marry for about a year (saving money and so on). So we still had time to get to know each other. I'd talk to your embassy or hers and explain to them whats going on. If shes scamming you then they can take legal action and maybe be able to nullify the marriage. Each country is different though. BTW I don't support divorce, I'm just stating some facts for you about when people get scammed, what they can do.

Philipino women have a reputation for wanting to marry rich forieigners...sad to say.
I think some are so desperate they would marry a wanted criminal.

My wife is filipino and from the Philippines. And sadly yes, some don't marry for legit reasons. Some of the couples we met on groups for filipino/american couples are married for the wrong reasons. The biggest percentage of the wives are materialistic. They have closets full of clothes, shoes and so on. Their husbands tend to be middle to upper class. They all claim they are not in it for the money, but I tell the husbands "Wait until something happens and you have barley any money. Then we will see if they really married your out of love or for the money.". Some are in it for the green card.

And sadly no matter the intention (love or money) they often marry american men who are pigs. Alot of the husbands have been married before. They tend to have attitudes. Some are "macho men". They ofter are married to someone whos up to 40 years older then them. To be fair though age is not a massive issue in their country. So they assume the older men who marry them do it out of love, but most have admitted to other men they married them because they wanted someone who looked young (like a child young) and had a high sex drive. And some of course then brainwash the women into things of a sexual nature that are disgusting. Alot of the women don't know much about sex as it is. To say the least often times they can be naive when they first come here. Believing anything the husband says.

All that talk aside... international marriage is something that takes alot of work. There are going to be major hurdles to overcome. Even more so if the person is not great with english or is from a culture that is far different from american culture.

 

[happyhippoman]

OP here! all is good now. I think for me it was very stressful period all this, to move here in such a quick fashion and prepare everything, and for her too. So things looked much more gloomy for both and the more we thought about those things in our minds, the gloomier it seemed.

We have talked about many things since, I start to feel more like home already, and one important thing happened. I realized, that as I had made my decision with all this, married officially, had promised her to never leave, so I should be more responsible, accept situation like a man, and not complain about things in my mind or to other people. And immediately mood got much better.

She understood the reasons for my choice and I understood why my coming here made her feel so badly.

Important part was to talk about things. And be forgiving. And see really also own faults, and accept the need to grow together and learn, it is natural but we are ready for the challenge