Hello, I am new here. I actually have been reading the forums here for quite awhile, but finally joined
Anyway, I have a question to the women here. Are you ever insecure about your husband's ex? Maybe it's stupid, but it always seems to be in the back of my head to the point where I'm almost obsessed with it.
She's younger and thinner than me, so already I feel bad about that. Plus she's the mother of his children. Since my husband and I are not having children together, this is a huge bond they share that he and I never will. Also she was the first (and only, until we got married) woman my husbad was with sexually, and I can't stand the thought of that. Of someone else being with him.
I just can't help always comparing myself to her and I know it's driving my wonderful husband bonkers. He adores me and has never done or said anything to make me feel less than incredible.
The ex cheated on him while they were married, asked for a divorce and would not go to counseling with him. She consequently ended up shacking up and a year later marrying the guy she had the affair with. So, in addition to feeling insecure and almost jealous of her, I will always hate her for tearing that family apart and hurting my husband the way she did. I have horrible thoughts about wanting to cause her grief - and I know this is wrong. I just hate the woman so much, I can't stand to have to see her. I just want to smack her sometimes. Of course I never would. I'm just being as honest as possible here and hope it's met with understanding. I want to add that I never act out on this, and I never speak ill of her to the kids - EVER.
They were married for 12 years, and that is a lot of history, we have only been married less than a year.
I love my husband with all of my heart and I know he is so in love with me, he's such a great man. It's just been hard dealing with it. The marriage is great, the kids are wonderful, and in every other respect, things are fine.
I have seen how some posts are flamed, so I am prepared that my honesty may draw fire from some people here. However, if any of you have ever (or currently) have had similar thoughts, please post. I'd appreciate not feeling so alone.
Anyway, I have a question to the women here. Are you ever insecure about your husband's ex? Maybe it's stupid, but it always seems to be in the back of my head to the point where I'm almost obsessed with it.
She's younger and thinner than me, so already I feel bad about that. Plus she's the mother of his children. Since my husband and I are not having children together, this is a huge bond they share that he and I never will. Also she was the first (and only, until we got married) woman my husbad was with sexually, and I can't stand the thought of that. Of someone else being with him.
I just can't help always comparing myself to her and I know it's driving my wonderful husband bonkers. He adores me and has never done or said anything to make me feel less than incredible.
The ex cheated on him while they were married, asked for a divorce and would not go to counseling with him. She consequently ended up shacking up and a year later marrying the guy she had the affair with. So, in addition to feeling insecure and almost jealous of her, I will always hate her for tearing that family apart and hurting my husband the way she did. I have horrible thoughts about wanting to cause her grief - and I know this is wrong. I just hate the woman so much, I can't stand to have to see her. I just want to smack her sometimes. Of course I never would. I'm just being as honest as possible here and hope it's met with understanding. I want to add that I never act out on this, and I never speak ill of her to the kids - EVER.
They were married for 12 years, and that is a lot of history, we have only been married less than a year.
I love my husband with all of my heart and I know he is so in love with me, he's such a great man. It's just been hard dealing with it. The marriage is great, the kids are wonderful, and in every other respect, things are fine.
I have seen how some posts are flamed, so I am prepared that my honesty may draw fire from some people here. However, if any of you have ever (or currently) have had similar thoughts, please post. I'd appreciate not feeling so alone.