Indifference

[Bluelion]

So I have become indifferent with my sister in law and my own family and wife's. I still love them, but I am indifferent. Let me explain what that means. It means I am done trying to be excepted by my family and my wife's. I no longer care if they like me or not. I know longer care what they think of me, i am hurt by their actions, but God helps me to control my emotions. I can still love them and be indifferent to how they feel about me.

I was at my sister-in-law's house today with my wife to pick her kids for a sleep over at my mother-in-law's house. She came from down stairs and said Hi, I said Hi, she gave me this look like i did not say hi to you, and then look at my oldest son and smile. So in other words she said hi to my oldest son not me. I have tired so hard to be liked by my wife's family. I thought because my family destroyed it self, and no one speaks to each other, her family might adopt me, and might become my family too. Her family has made it clear time and time again I am my wife's husband and not their brother, son or friend. They put up with me for my wife, but i get the impression they are waiting for her to move on to some one better. I have kept trying with them, but today i thought why? why do I even care. I don't need them to be my family, it would be nice, but they don't want it so why should i try. My family never excepted me. It's ok i have God my wife and kids. That is enough, it has to be.

So I am indifferent. I know some thing indifferent is the opposite of love, if that is true why do i still love them? The fact is its not the opposite but hate is. You can not love and hate at the same time. You can not love to hate. Hate does not have any quality with love. That is mho any way.

There comes a time when you must be objective with your emotions and not allow people to hurt you any more. You can still love them, but you just will not be treated that way any more. If someone is punching you and you move out of reach of the punches does that mean you don't love them because you are not willing to be hit any more? No, of course not that is just silly. So why can't a person do that with emotions? Is there some rule which states we must allow our heart to break over and over? I know the world would like us to think so but it's not true.

It can be like a game the other side plays. I am amazed at how many atheist get upset when you stop preaching say fine go to hell and walk away. They say that is messed up. That if I loved them i would stay around and force them to go to heaven, as if that was in my power, and take their abuse.
So what is messed up, doesn't mean I want them to go to hell, it means they would not accept my blessing and I am rooming my self from their house with my blessing, As Jesus instructed us to do. They will sit there and insult God, insult you and abuse you, and when a person says enough. they say you don't love me. I think it is a taste of what is to come, what God will say to them. it probably is the best thing you can do for them.

My wife's family is not atheist, they vary what the believe. Not why I wrote the last part just another point.

blu

 

[1watchman]

I understand, and it sound reasonable. Keep smiling, be happy in the Lord, and say to others: "look up always!". When and if they are moved to be sincere seekers after the love of God, they might know of one (yourself) to be a real resource.

 

[Nord Christian]

Your story is similar to the relationship I have with my Mother's side. I have two Cousin's, one female and one male, the same age, and all born four months apart. My Mother has three Sisters. A correlation with the number four perhaps? My oldest Cousin was born four years prior to our births being consummated. Oh, and my Mom's Father passing away at the age of 42 of cancer, the same year my oldest Cousin was born.

Growing up, and having to go to my Mother's side almost every weekend, wasn't very pleasure filled. My two Cousin's that are the same age wanted nothing to do with me. The female one always telling me to "buzz off" or "get lost". I was very much a lonely kid anyhow, and they didn't help any. Years later, I chalked their shunning of me up to jealousy. My Dad was good with kids. Their parent's, not so much.
Even as a teen, my Cousin's the same age would hang around together. I knew where I wasn't wanted, and would just sit alone, while they were somewhere else conversing, or whatever.

Today, I won't go to my Mother's family functions, as I don't feel comfortable. I've forgiven the ones I felt hurt my feelings the most, but I still don't feel the need to be around them.

In your case, you're a married man, so you're pretty much obligated to attend your in-laws family functions, whereas I may feel guilty sometimes for not going. I"m still not going to fret over it too
much. My Dad returns the favor, as my Mom will attend my Dad's family functions.

Being a Married man with kids, you're in a tough bind. You're trying to get them to like or love you. I don't know what it is that they don't like about you. They don't have the right to judge either way.

 

[Bluelion]

I understand, and it sound reasonable. Keep smiling, be happy in the Lord, and say to others: "look up always!". When and if they are moved to be sincere seekers after the love of God, they might know of one (yourself) to be a real resource.

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. The end is near. God told us it would be like this, He said he came to bring a sword mother against daughter father against son. He was preparing us for the divisions in the family.

 

[Bluelion]

Your story is similar to the relationship I have with my Mother's side. I have two Cousin's, one female and one male, the same age, and all born four months apart. My Mother has three Sisters. A correlation with the number four perhaps? My oldest Cousin was born four years prior to our births being consummated. Oh, and my Mom's Father passing away at the age of 42 of cancer, the same year my oldest Cousin was born.

Growing up, and having to go to my Mother's side almost every weekend, wasn't very pleasure filled. My two Cousin's that are the same age wanted nothing to do with me. The female one always telling me to "buzz off" or "get lost". I was very much a lonely kid anyhow, and they didn't help any. Years later, I chalked their shunning of me up to jealousy. My Dad was good with kids. Their parent's, not so much.
Even as a teen, my Cousin's the same age would hang around together. I knew where I wasn't wanted, and would just sit alone, while they were somewhere else conversing, or whatever.

Today, I won't go to my Mother's family functions, as I don't feel comfortable. I've forgiven the ones I felt hurt my feelings the most, but I still don't feel the need to be around them.

In your case, you're a married man, so you're pretty much obligated to attend your in-laws family functions, whereas I may feel guilty sometimes for not going. I"m still not going to fret over it too
much. My Dad returns the favor, as my Mom will attend my Dad's family functions.

Being a Married man with kids, you're in a tough bind. You're trying to get them to like or love you. I don't know what it is that they don't like about you. They don't have the right to judge either way.

Thank you for your kind words. It doesn't feel good to not be accepted does it. I know God told us we would go through this with family here on earth but it is still upsetting. We should really feel good because it means we are written in The Book of Life. It does get hard at times thought.

thanks Nord

 

[Nord Christian]

Thank you for your kind words. It doesn't feel good to not be accepted does it. I know God told us we would go through this with family here on earth but it is still upsetting. We should really feel good because it means we are written in The Book of Life. It does get hard at times thought.

thanks Nord

YVW, B.L!

Not feeling accepting isn't a nice feeling, no. I didn't hold much anger up until I reached my mid-teens. I had been the timid,easy going kid, who just let people walk all over me. At sixteen or so though, with added pressure of going to school and working on the weekends, the anger manifested itself and I became a very bitter, angry and hurt young man.

The anger within and anxiety became so severe that it was almost like I was being controlled by fallen ones. I'd sometimes snap at people I didn't know and say things I never thought I'd say, just because I thought they were being snotty or cruel. Right after, I'd come to my senses and think "why on earth did I just say that?!" It was like being out of control.

As I got older things did ease up. I know however, I could have easily have been one of those kids who committed suicide. I'd occasionally thought about how I'd do it when I was a teenager, and in my early twenties.

Finding God at an early age would have saved myself a lot of hurt. It wasn't til my late 30's that I finally did join the SA and got saved, accepting Lord Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.

Life can still be difficult sometimes. With Biblical knowledge, faith and understanding, I finally see the world for what it is. I know the spiritual side that is influencing people to do mean, hurtful things. Dark forces. These things I knew absolutely nothing about growing up. To finally have that understanding does help me, but doesn't make some things that much easier, like you're saying.

 

[Bluelion]

YVW, B.L!

Not feeling accepting isn't a nice feeling, no. I didn't hold much anger up until I reached my mid-teens. I had been the timid,easy going kid, who just let people walk all over me. At sixteen or so though, with added pressure of going to school and working on the weekends, the anger manifested itself and I became a very bitter, angry and hurt young man.

The anger within and anxiety became so severe that it was almost like I was being controlled by fallen ones. I'd sometimes snap at people I didn't know and say things I never thought I'd say, just because I thought they were being snotty or cruel. Right after, I'd come to my senses and think "why on earth did I just say that?!" It was like being out of control.

As I got older things did ease up. I know however, I could have easily have been one of those kids who committed suicide. I'd occasionally thought about how I'd do it when I was a teenager, and in my early twenties.

Finding God at an early age would have saved myself a lot of hurt. It wasn't til my late 30's that I finally did join the SA and got saved, accepting Lord Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.

Life can still be difficult sometimes. With Biblical knowledge, faith and understanding, I finally see the world for what it is. I know the spiritual side that is influencing people to do mean, hurtful things. Dark forces. These things I knew absolutely nothing about growing up. To finally have that understanding does help me, but doesn't make some things that much easier, like you're saying.

Well I am Happy you found The Lord. I was saved at 6 then i started running from God and ran until my mid 30's If i had not been saved at 6 I never would have made it this long. It was by God that I am able to love and still alive. There was one time as a kid I almost joined a gang. They were afraid to jump me in, so they want me to do a drive by with them at some gang. I was going to go but my girl friend stop me. I did not think at all what was about to happen. I just new they accepted me and I liked that. Because I back out the gang never spoke to me again. Funny thing is I was the most screwed up because of my girl friend, but she was the one that stop me. She want me to be what they call today a thug. That was not a thug in my heart. In fact now I can not stand thugs, but I wanted to please her. I speak with the old girlfriend still to this day on facebook, and her son does thug rapping, he seems like a thug but i never met him so. At the end of my being 16, that year i almost joined a gang God took me far away from there to live with my dad. My mom showed up on my 17 birthday with a moving truck took everything in the house and left me, she would not tell me where she was going or anything, just she called my dad to come get me. i had not spoke to my dad at that time in a year or so. It was after I left I got my G.E.D. and started my quest for knowledge spent 10 years or so in college education over the years.

The rejecting is evils way to control you. As you can see by the story had God not stop me and put me on the path i would not be here today typing. That is just one case i have many many others.

I suspect God shaped your life too knowing you would come to him. You should look back and see if you can see God at work in your life. He has always been there, and once you see that it is a great feeling.

blu

 

[iLove]

The enemy comes to sow tares to offend you. These are called sins of offence that brings in sickness, disease, and other afflictions. It is so important that you stay in the spirit and not be deceived by the works of the flesh.

Revelation 18:23 says it like this, "...all of the nation are being deceived by Satan magic spell with witchcraft and sorcery."

Galatians 5:19-21 NKJV says, "19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,[a] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery (witchcraft), hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like;

As you see the flesh can and will deceive you with sorcery and witchcraft.

Ask God to fill you with John14:21 AMP - The person who has My commands and keeps them is the one who [really] loves Me; and whoever [really] loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I [too] will love him and will show (reveal, manifest) Myself to him. [I will let Myself be clearly seen by him and make Myself real to him.]

When this is done, whatever room you walk into the atmosphere shifts because of the anointing on you. When God calls you He appoints you. And when He appoints you He anoints you. And when He anoints you and you are divinely positioned nothing can stop you. Anointing breaks yokes and anointing lifts burdens. Anointing creates excess to GLORY. When a person is anointed - the greater the anointing the greater the move of God in a place. A anointed person opens the heavens and the GLORY of the LORD comes and meets needs in a place. Talent and flesh is not a anointing. It's tinkling brass and sounding cymbal. Sisters and brothers when someone gets up who is anointed you feel the heavens shifting and God comes so low to meet that need. Anointing is empowerment to deal with DEMONIC stuff. Adam didn't need anointing, we need it. That's why when Jesus came He said "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me - He has anointed me." That ANOINTING open the heavens, healed the sick, open blind eyes, raised the dead, multiplied bread, filled boats with fish and so much more! It was His anointing that open the heavens.

 

[Bluelion]

The enemy comes to sow tares to offend you. These are called sins of offence that brings in sickness, disease, and other afflictions. It is so important that you stay in the spirit and not be deceived by the works of the flesh.

Revelation 18:23 says it like this, "...all of the nation are being deceived by Satan magic spell of witchcraft and sorcery."

Galatians 5:19-21 NKJV says, "19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,[a] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery (witchcraft), hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like;

As you see the flesh can and will deceive you with sorcery and witchcraft.

Ask God to fill you John14:21 AMP - The person who has My commands and keeps them is the one who [really] loves Me; and whoever [really] loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I [too] will love him and will show (reveal, manifest) Myself to him. [I will let Myself be clearly seen by him and make Myself real to him.]

When this is done, whatever room you walk into the atmosphere shifts because of the anointing on you. When God calls you He appoints you. And when He appoints you He anoints you. And when He anoints you and you are divinely positioned nothing can stop you. Anointing breaks yokes and anointing lifts burdens. Anointing creates excess to GLORY. When a person is anointed - the greater the anointing the greater the move of God in a place. A anointed person opens the heavens and the GLORY of the LORD comes and meets needs in a place. Talent and flesh is not a anointing. It's tinkling brass and sounding cymbal. Sisters and brothers when someone gets up who is anointed you feel the heavens shifting and God comes so low to meet that need. Anointing is empowerment to deal with DEMONIC stuff. Adam didn't need anointing, we need it. That's why when Jesus came He said "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me - He has anointed me." That ANOINTING open the heavens, healed the sick, open blind eyes, raised the dead, multiplied bread, filled boats with fish and so much more! It was His anointing that open the heavens.

and that relates to the topic how?

 

[now faith]

So true I love.

Many times not only in my life but other Christians especially Preachers have I witnessed undo harassment.

News paper reporters sitting in Church then turning on the Preacher with fowl gossip.

Lawyers in deposition,that were just taking statements turn on the Preacher like a junkyard dog.

1 John: 4. 4. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 5. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6. We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. 7. Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.



1 John: 3. 1. Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. 4. Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law. 5. And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. 6. Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. 7. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. 8. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. 9. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. 10. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. 11. For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

I would not say you are indifferent Blue you are discerning the truth.

 

[iLove]

and that relates to the topic how?

This was meat given to you...not milk! The ear must be able to hear!

 

[iLove]

So true I love.

Many times not only in my life but other Christians especially Preachers have I witnessed undo harassment.

News paper reporters sitting in Church then turning on the Preacher with fowl gossip.

Lawyers in deposition,that were just taking statements turn on the Preacher like a junkyard dog.

1 John: 4. 4. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 5. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6. We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. 7. Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.



1 John: 3. 1. Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. 4. Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law. 5. And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. 6. Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. 7. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. 8. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. 9. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. 10. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. 11. For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

I would not say you are indifferent Blue you are discerning the truth.

Thank you!

 

[Bluelion]

So true I love.

Many times not only in my life but other Christians especially Preachers have I witnessed undo harassment.

News paper reporters sitting in Church then turning on the Preacher with fowl gossip.

Lawyers in deposition,that were just taking statements turn on the Preacher like a junkyard dog.

1 John: 4. 4. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 5. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6. We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. 7. Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.



1 John: 3. 1. Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. 4. Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law. 5. And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. 6. Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. 7. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. 8. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. 9. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. 10. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. 11. For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

I would not say you are indifferent Blue you are discerning the truth.

How so? could you explain more?

 

[Hammster]

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
20 To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:14-21

 

[Bluelion]

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
20 To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:14-21

very true, but not so easy. Thanks for posting that i needed to read that today.

blu

 

[Hammster]

very true, but not so easy. Thanks for posting that i needed to read that today.

blu

It's rarely easy.

 

[Bluelion]

It's rarely easy.

if it was easy every one would do it right

 

[now faith]

How so? could you explain more?

Amen Hamster.

 

[Nord Christian]

Well I am Happy you found The Lord. I was saved at 6 then i started running from God and ran until my mid 30's If i had not been saved at 6 I never would have made it this long. It was by God that I am able to love and still alive. There was one time as a kid I almost joined a gang. They were afraid to jump me in, so they want me to do a drive by with them at some gang. I was going to go but my girl friend stop me. I did not think at all what was about to happen. I just new they accepted me and I liked that. Because I back out the gang never spoke to me again. Funny thing is I was the most screwed up because of my girl friend, but she was the one that stop me. She want me to be what they call today a thug. That was not a thug in my heart. In fact now I can not stand thugs, but I wanted to please her. I speak with the old girlfriend still to this day on facebook, and her son does thug rapping, he seems like a thug but i never met him so. At the end of my being 16, that year i almost joined a gang God took me far away from there to live with my dad. My mom showed up on my 17 birthday with a moving truck took everything in the house and left me, she would not tell me where she was going or anything, just she called my dad to come get me. i had not spoke to my dad at that time in a year or so. It was after I left I got my G.E.D. and started my quest for knowledge spent 10 years or so in college education over the years.

The rejecting is evils way to control you. As you can see by the story had God not stop me and put me on the path i would not be here today typing. That is just one case i have many many others.

I suspect God shaped your life too knowing you would come to him. You should look back and see if you can see God at work in your life. He has always been there, and once you see that it is a great feeling.

blu

Fascinating story, Blu! We see a lot of young people falling into the same trap of getting into gangs, out having the need to feel wanted or accepted.
They come from broken homes, and are broken people as well. Happy to hear, through God's power, you were able to escape that lifestyle.

I can't profess to know everything about scripture in the Bible. I have learned a lot over the last couple of years though. And I had been lost for 30 + years, simply by not having anyone around to teach, or give me any Biblical knowledge. My Parent's went to Catholic church growing up, but didn't retain a lot of what they'd learned, since they were likely in their early teens when they stopped attending.

I knew of and heard of God, and that Jesus was his son who died on the cross. For several years I didn't know why. Someone said "he died for our sins". My guess was that he died for the sins of the past. I had no clue as to what salvation was, and the importance of how Lord Jesus' shed blood saves us. My thinking was, if I don't do anything heinous I'll get to Heaven.
Now I know that's not true at all.

These days I'm aware of what and who is behind peoples hurtful and heinous acts. That of course being Satan, and his other fallen angels.
I know he can't force us to do anything. He can tempt us, and influence us subliminally to disobey God. Not to say I sometimes don't get a little sensitive. I then remind myself that the majority of people now are lost and defenseless without God's help, and Satan is using them as marionettes. I still am no better, and once was once of his puppets. I can't be self righteous as I know I'm a sinner as well.

 

[Nord Christian]

It's rarely easy.

Depending on the situation, it can be very difficult to stay Godly and righteous all of the time. Someone else is in a bad mood, and is being rude to you. Bite your lip. Have people you've tried to help, by giving them knowledge of he Gospel, and it's one ear and out the other. Bite your tongue.