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I'm ugly and worthless :(

Discussion in 'General Mental Health' started by AgapeGrace, Jan 9, 2012.

  1. AgapeGrace

    AgapeGrace Saved by Gracee

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    I really do feel completely worthless, I fail everything no matter how hard I try. I'm ugly, I even saw a comment on one of my albums saying "oo someones pretty!" and the person he thought was pretty said "what sarah i know she is" and he sid "good one, u know I ment u" and I'm just sat in tears. No matter what I do to make myself pretty not even the best make up artist can do it :( I have no career I can possibly do, I'm ugly and I hate myself. I'd really like to just die right now I can't stand it here anymore. All I do is sit indoors anyway because I suck at everything else. why can't god just take me now :(
     
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  2. CounselorForChrist

    CounselorForChrist Senior Veteran

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    Your only as ugly as you want yourself to be. What I mean by that is you control how you view yourself. Don't listen to other peoples opinions. Tell yourself your pretty and realize if you want someone to tell you if your pretty, think of what God would say. Not some random human.

    My ex constantly, literally every few minutes would claim she was ugly, hidoues, ondateable and stuff like that. By the worlds "standards" she wasn't a super model. But then again who really is? Supermodels are people with low self esteems that need to stay skin and perfect in order feel wanted. Don't look at them as rolemodels!

    Anyways.... the reason we ended up splitting was because no matter how beautiful I told her she was (inside and out), she would revert back to thinkings shes ugly. Which is why she left me, she claimed I could do better (among other things). Trust me, you don't want to be like her. We all have issues but if you want to be with someone and they feel you are beautiful accept it! If not it will drive them away or you will tell them to go away.

    All that matters is what God thinks. Just remember that! In this world people will call you things, even if they aren't true, just so they can feel better about themselves!
     
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  3. stacymay

    stacymay Cloudcuckoolander

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    Just because one person made an off-comment doesn't mean you should feel that way about yourself. I know it's easy to take what people say like that seriously and apply it to our own lives, because we are such vulnerable creatures. That's just the way God made us, so that we would need Him more.

    You are a princess and God finds you beautiful, because you are. I know how it feels to have low-self-esteem. In fact, it's hypocritical of me to tell you all of this because I myself feel pretty ugly and worthless sometimes. What helps me is to remember that we always see ourselves differently than how others do, and how we think they do.

    The guy who made that comment was probably just a crush of your friend's or something, and didn't mean to insult you personally. If he did, on the other hand, then he's just being cruel and unfair and you shouldn't listen to that and believe it.

    I hope you feel better soon. God loves you and you truly are beautiful, I know that even without seeing you because, believe it or not, we're all masterpieces.
     
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  4. RobCrandall

    RobCrandall Newbie

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    I want to tell you something, and I swear to you it is true. I can't think of the last time that I have seen someone and thought, "They are ugly." That is the absolute truth. Not everyone sees people as ugly. Only very vain people do. I am 100% more concerned with kindness. You'd be very surprised at the people that just don't see "ugly." I mean that. Even the most "beautiful" lose their physical beauty with age. True, beautiful people have an advantage, but this is also true: They only have the advantage with people that esteem beauty over kindness, and therefore, they become slaves to superficial people if they focus on it. Focus on your soul. Look outward. And a word about failure: Have you ever read about all of Abraham Lincoln's failures? He failed at everything he tried, Until one day. Success is just persistence. God bless you, Rob:)
     
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  5. MinisterChristian

    MinisterChristian Junior Member

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    agapegrace, i would start by deleting facebook or whatever social networking you have. Start going out and enjoying your life and meeting real people. Sometimes people think they can say things over the internet and get away with it. I will be honest here when i was maybe 13 or 14 i had a social networking site i used and i said things to people i would never say to them in real life.

    You are not ugly, don`t worry about all these celbritys that take 28 hours to get ready for a night out, magazines and Tv can make models look too good to be true. Anyway it actually doesn`t matter what you look like, it`s what inside that counts!

    You have a soul that is filled with precious holy spirit. Please remain positive and do good things in your life.

    And don`t listen to anyone`s opinon of you..here is a song that fits my mood for you right now...

    Christian Aguilera - Beautiful

    SORRY CAN`T POST THE LINK, I NEED TO HAVE 50 POSTS OR MORE TO POST LINKS!

    Type it in Youtube!
     
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  6. CounselorForChrist

    CounselorForChrist Senior Veteran

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    I also tell people "Ugly" is by far a human word we made up to insult others. Just like those who call someone Emo or Ginger. So don't worry about some word that people want to assign you. No human can ever tell you who/what you are. Because God knows what you are. And that is you are a daughter of God. Someone who was made beautiful in God eyes! :)
     
  7. Waxwing

    Waxwing Guest

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
    Samuel Beckett

    This quote stick with me on a range of issues, insecurities, self doubt included.

    Of course its easier to give advise and prognosticate than live it, but your value is equal to those who by all appearances are successful, cool, in the "in"crowd, use whatever adjective you like. Whether your rich or poor, intoverted or extroverted or "attractive" or "unattractive" its not what defines you. The only other advice I can think off, is stay away from the media, namely TV/Movies/Magazines stay away from the "cool" people (run from them), if you can meet some "salt of the earth" folks, be it at church or maybe volunteering at senior centre or food bank etc. Went through a period where I had minimal media exposure, it was great, lots reading done, drawing, volunteering, nature walks, learned a instrument etc. Just my thoughts

    Prayers



     
  8. Humble Pie

    Humble Pie Veteran

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    Men can be a heartless waste of space.
     
  9. mmksparbud

    mmksparbud Well-Known Member

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    Excuse me?????-----Are you aware that the Son of God almighty died for you? Do you not understand that He is what gives us our value?? Elizabeth Taylor got old and died---name any screen goddess that has not gotten old, wrinkled and died (well, some died before they got to the wrinkled part)--God did not give me the beauty of a Liz or Sophia--I am (was) at best--passable by the worlds standards--so what--I am 61 now and how cares??? What are you doing with whatever talents God gave you? We will be held accountable for our time, our money, our talents---no where does God say He is going to judge us by how good looking we are!! Even Jesus was no Brad Pitt---the bible says He was "not comely, that non should desire Him."--He attracted people by His soul---If we live long enough--we all get old, wrinkled, and downright homely!! We end up loosing body parts--and after 40 everything goes south, east and west---I had one old woman crying on my shoulder sobbing her heart out because she was no longer a beauty--"You don't know what it's like to loose your beauty!!!"---Thanks, I didn't know I was chopped liver!!---She had so much makeup on she looked like a clown, a cheap old hooker!! When God comes, we will all be changed--and we will all be beautiful---till then, be thankful you have all your body parts and get started on working on your souls beauty--that's all we take with us!
     
  10. redblue22

    redblue22 Well-Known Member

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    how are you doing now?
     
  11. AgapeGrace

    AgapeGrace Saved by Gracee

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    @mmksparbud thing is its not just that I feel ugly, its that I feel stupid and worthless, I know I didn't write much about that but that's a huge part of it. I'm always failing my subjects and I can't see much of a future for myself.

    @redblue22 not sure really.. I'm struggling with all the work I'm supposed to be doing :( not sure why I'm wasting my money on doing these subjects I don't think i'll pass :(
     
  12. mmksparbud

    mmksparbud Well-Known Member

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    You still don't get it--it's God that gives us our value. Yes, there are brilliant people out there--IQ of geniuses--some have made great contributions to the world. We are not all given that kind of intelligence. We can't all sing like a Celine Dion--or Aretha, whatever your preference--we can't all be Rembrhents or Picassos or write the great novel or make the movie that wins all the academy awards--For each one of those extraordinary people, there are thousands of plain, simple folk who just struggle to get through life--there are those who are born mentally [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and never will be able to do much other than maybe be able to feed themselves--some can't even do that. At some point in everyone's life, they will feel ugly, useless, mentally inadequate, and downright worthless to the point that we feel we should never have been born and we are just a horrible mistake!!!----God makes no mistakes!!! He loves each one of us as we are. For most of us, all that God requires of us is just to live our lives according to His will and try to help others do the same. We need to work to earn our living, and it's hard to know what direction to go in, my brother never could figure out what to do and wasted his life on drugs and booze till he died at the age of 50--most of that time he spent in jail. He could never see his value, he could never see his abilities--That man, as a teenager picked up a sax and played it well enough to play in a band--no lessons--didn't follow through with that talent and never played anything again after the drugs, while in prison he learned how to be a legal assisstant and helped several inmates with their paperwork--He always was very artistic, and poetic--but he never saw it. The boy was truly brilliant and never knew it and felt worthless his whole life!!! Start off with just doing as best you can with whatever has been placed before you. Keep asking God to show you the next step and to give you the wisdom to see it. Some people at the age of 5 know they are going to be a fantastic actor, comedian, whatever, and will work towards that goal from childhood---few of us have been given that. The best we can do is to take life one day at a time, one step at a time, as God shows us. Most of us have started out to be one thing and end up being something entirely different, doing something they never even thought of doing. Grandma Moses did not even start painting till in her 80's, my sister-in-law did not know she was immensely talented as a painter until she had retired in her 60's and decided to pick up a brush and low and behold, she could paint beautiful pictures! Never had any training. God will take you were you need to go, and He doesn't always tell you what you're going to end up as--He didn't tell Abraham what the end of his journey would take him, He just told him to get up and start traveling! Start on your knees and ask God to guide your next step. And remember, we all make mistakes and end up taking a step backwards, we then have to keep on going after God has stepped in and turned us around. God doesn't have cookie molds, we are all unique. God bless you on your journey--it can be a bit of a roller-coaster ride!!
     
  13. mmksparbud

    mmksparbud Well-Known Member

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    OK____3 times I have tried to eliminate the bless and do not curse line --- do not know where that came from and I can't get rid of it---Sorry!!!
     
  14. martinlb

    martinlb Junior Member

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    I'm struck with an idea that might have some value and may not. If it doesn't, please disregard it.

    When I read what you said about the things you're failing at, it occurred to me that perhaps you've got more ambition than ability right now, in certain areas. That might just say a great deal about how high the quality of your character is. It sounds like you haven't given up and decided to just lower the bar, to take the easy road. Sometimes failure means we're risking trying something we aren't sure about. I believe that takes courage. You aren't satisfied to fail. Might that mean you have high standards? Not enough people do, in my opinion.
     
  15. mmksparbud

    mmksparbud Well-Known Member

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    That is very insightful. And you might be right. I know if I could not be the best at something, I tended towards feeling totally inadequate--it took years for me to accept that I can not, never will be able to do everything perfectly every time!! Just remember--Moses was 80 years old when God took him from being a sheepherder to deliverer of His people. And he still had to argue with God about it, feeling not up to the task. I do not know your age--doesn't matter, really. God has a work for everyone--You may be aiming much higher than God needs you to for now. I wanted so badly to play a musical instrument--tried guitar, and I tried a dulcimer---ok--I have neither the patience nor ability to learn to play. Swallowed my pride and decided maybe God just plain didn't need another mediocre musician at this time and so I tried to be the best dialysis tech that I could be--I was not the greatest, but whatever I did I did according to the rules, took no short cuts, put my patients first and did my job "as unto God."--Maybe, right now, yo9u need to lower the bar--and maybe (Maybe!)--God will raise the bar when He feels you're ready. It's not just ability that we need, sometimes God has to show us other aspects of ourselves that are needed for our happiness and to do a better job at whatever He intends on you doing. Like, more compassion for others, more obedience, more faith,more humbleness---He may be more interested in getting your soul right, at this point, than a particular academic achievement. He has plans for you, let Him take you where He needs you. Sorry, if I'm being a little preachy--and verbose!!--I just feel you may be interjecting your hopes at a time when God wants to direct your soul.
     
  16. redblue22

    redblue22 Well-Known Member

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  17. JohnNess

    JohnNess Newbie

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    I think redblue22's post above might be the best I've read in this thread. I offer one as well, or in emoticon terms: i< >i (the best I can do to make it look like two people are going to hug).

    What I'd add in terms of advice I'll keep succinct:
    1. Nobody can make you feel like a worse person than you already fear you are. This comment didn't put those thoughts in your head; it confirmed (to you) your fears. If you know your true value doesn't come from how you look, what others think of you, what you've accomplished or how smart you are, but from the fact that God made you, died for you, and then made you an adopted daughter, none of this will matter to you.

    2. You'll never be "good enough" in your own eyes so long as you keep getting your value from anything but God. Even when you accomplish something, you'll be so scared to lose it that it will be a Pyrrhic victory at best. God's valuation of you is eternal, can't be earned, and is much higher than anything you could ever accomplish. Maybe God didn't give you the talents you wanted, but He made you the way you are for a reason. There is some unique way in which you are called to glorify Him and lead others to Him, something special that you are especially suited for. Never doubt whether God loves you; if anything, He loves us all more than we can be comfortable with.
     
  18. makeitwork

    makeitwork Newbie

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    what brought on this negative talk about yourself?
    for me my childhood was abusive, at such a young age i believed every negative thing that was said about me because it came from my family. BUT having a personal relationship with JESUS stopped me from reliving and believing the lies that were said to me.
    stick around with people that are positive, supportive, and respectful but most importantly take time out and spend it with JESUS. HE knows whats in your heart. (((hugs)))
     
  19. mmksparbud

    mmksparbud Well-Known Member

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    How are you doing?? Let us know. If you've been down a long time, and can't find any encouragement here, perhaps, you might be having a chemical depression and need a little outside help to get back on track. Sometimes we need medicine and all the words in the world won't help till you get chemically balanced again. I had to once, but that was before I came back to God. Nothing wrong with getting medical attention if needed. Being down too long can mess you up!--I didn't need the meds for very long and weaned myself off once I was a bit more like myself.
     
  20. AgapeGrace

    AgapeGrace Saved by Gracee

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    They wont give me medicine because I have a phobia of taking tablets. But I've been looking into treatment for fears. Thanks everyone for everything you've said, it hasn't gone unnoticed, I just have to take it all in. xxx
     
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