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If God wants you to be married, how do you know when he's brought along your spouse?

Discussion in 'Singles (only*)' started by royourboat, Jun 16, 2010.

  1. royourboat

    royourboat Newbie

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    a common but maybe not so simple question. will He reveal them to you by a lightning bolt revelation, pictures, words, through other people etc? or is it up to you to pray consistently and ask God about the person if you feel an attraction to them? will He make it obvious what His will is, whether its 'yes I've chosen this guy/girl to be your future spouse' or 'no, they're not the one for you.' does God often say 'not yet', meaning the person is the right one but not right now? and if He does, what could His reasons be?
     
  2. gzt

    gzt The age of the Earth is 4.54 ± 0.07 billion years

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    No. You will also probably find that, if you murder somebody, the heavens won't open up, either. Given that the vast majority of people in history have married and that the Bible sort of indicates that most people will and possibly should marry, it's probably quite likely that God wants you to be married. In fact, it's probably the case that if God doesn't want you to get married, you will have some way of figuring that out. As for who you marry, I really don't think God cares that much beyond a few simple things.

    Okay, that doesn't sound that good, but hear me out.

    There are probably hundreds of godly Christian men near you that you could get along perfectly well with in marriage. There's really no magic way of knowing which one is the The One, so it's best to live your life to the greater glory of God and trust that, as long as you do everything for the greater glory of God and seek after God's will, these major life decisions are probably not "wrong". So if you find that you've been going out with a guy for a while, he loves Christ more than he loves you, you are both rather fond of each other, are both thinking about marriage, and get along pretty well, that might be all the signs you get. You can't expect the sky to peel back and confirm this stuff. The Scriptures tell you what a good husband is and your heart tells you whether you love the guy.
     
  3. ALiberalTeen

    ALiberalTeen Guest

    Likely that person you'll find to be the smexyx10.
     
  4. Tamara224

    Tamara224 New Member

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    I doubt it will be a lightning bolt because that might kill you. ;):p

    The answer is: sometimes. I've heard many stories from people who I count as credible that God told them "he's the one" or "she's the one". Sometimes he told one person but not the other and sometimes it led to a whirlwind romance and others the person had to wait a long time for "the one" to come around.

    But, sometimes it just obvious in other ways and doesn't require an audible voice from God. If two people are attracted to one another - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally - they have common interests, shared goals and all that jazz they won't need a Word straight from God's mouth about it. They'll just do what comes naturally.

    The most common thing I've heard people say about it is "when you know, you know."

    Well, we should always be praying about it and asking God for direction in our lives.

    If you've asked God to lead you and direct your steps, then a lot of times what He'll do is just close the door if He doesn't want you to go through it.

    Of course it's possible that God may say "not yet". Reasons for that may be that either person isn't ready, still has some things to learn or experience before it would be wise to get married.

    Generally speaking, though, I'd say if someone feels like they've met "the one" but it's not working out for whatever reason so it might be a "not yet" scenario then the person should back off and try to keep emotional entanglements to a minimum.

    Most of us around here know from experience that when we really really want to be with someone we sometimes think we've heard from God when we haven't.

    The best advice I can give is to let it go and let God handle it. If it's "meant to be" then it will be.

    That's not always easy to hear. There have been times in my life when I wanted to throw something at someone for saying that to me. But it is true, IMHO.
     
  5. penNpaper

    penNpaper Forever in Your Arms

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    Things in your life will start to set in motion than being a big brick wall in front of you...things will start clicking inside your heart AND spirit...and the other person will feel the same way feeling...it takes two people to make an relationship last as well as the most important thing of it all...the Lord has to be in the middle of your love life too :)

    God Bless,
    Drew
     
  6. Blank123

    Blank123 Legend

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    this is an area i'm kind of at a loss to explain my beliefs. I don't believe in "the one" since i see no Biblical back-up for such a concept. I think we actually have free will in who we choose to marry. There was no one but myself keeping me in my last relationship even when it was evident it wasn't working, and its very likely had i chosen to stay that we would be getting married. Only I chose to put an end to it and leave myself free to find a relationship that was healthier and better for me. It wasn't fate. Or God, though He might be given the credit to opening my eyes and giving me strength to walk away. In the end i chose for myself what I wanted in life.

    That being said, I believe God has a will for my life and He knows who would be the best match for me in that life. And when the time is right for both of us, our paths will cross. Assuming that man actually exists. How will I know? I doubt i will know for sure, but I will know if we're suited for eachother and I will know if we love eachother in a healthy way that would lend itself to a happy and strong marriage. and from there I will just have to take a leap of faith and trust myself and him to work together to make our marriage a success.
     
  7. mina

    mina Brown Eyed girl

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    You will probably be in some kind of relationship with them that progresses positively and brings more good than bad into your life. I don't believe you will recieve any sort of wise insight into such a thing unless you have interactions with them in life.

    You work better together than you do apart. "Better" not "worse and drag each other down"
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2010
  8. penNpaper

    penNpaper Forever in Your Arms

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    Nobody is perfect to be "the one and only" for someone as well as the fact that you got to go outside and introduce yourself towards peeps because you can't get married unless you put some motion to create friendships and whatnot. God sees our needs, dreams, and desires and He wants the best for each one of us...sure there isn't a fellow on a white horse to rescue you nor is there an princess in a tower awaiting for the guy either...and as men there isn't no perfect woman either...everyone got to accept each other as who we are right now...doesn't matter what sort of past you have...love them as they are :)

    I do hope that the Lord has someone special for you miss :hug:

    God Bless,
    Drew
     
  9. b.hopeful

    b.hopeful Sharp as a razor, soft as a prayer

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    Careful...if you are staring at lightning bolts, pictures, words or others you might be too distracted to notice God didn't send him down but the devil coughed him up. jus' sayin'...
     
    penNpaper likes this.
  10. She will send you 350 text messages a day.
     
  11. ALiberalTeen

    ALiberalTeen Guest

  12. truthinmyheart

    truthinmyheart Newbie

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    I'll tell you my story. I came to my church around last year. I had broken things off with my ex a year before, so I was single. At first I didn't notice any available men(who were attractive) but after going to a church picnic a handsome guy caught my eye. A couple of weeks later he introduced himself and I caught a crush. I saw the way he would glance my direction, so I asked God to show me if he would make a good husband. We would glance at each other during service, but he never approached me or asked me out so I was confused. It wasn't until a few months later that he texted me out of nowhere. He asked me how I was doing and why he didnt see me at service the week before. I was touched because I thought he care, and I called to chat. It wasn't before long before he steered the conversation towards sexual matters. He also revealed himself to be a huge gossip, he talked trash about ministers and told me a bunch of personal stuff about members of our church. It hurt me because he wasn't the man I thought he was, but I know that was God saying, "Him? Don't even think about it."

    On the other hand, my friend is engaged to a man in the church. They have been seeing each other for a couple of months and from what she told me, they were praying together when God told him to marry her. He was the sort of man she has been praying for. Its only been a few months but when I see her, I know she's in love.

    I have another friend in the church who asked a some friends on Facebook about any single men in their church which is how she met her fiance. I've seen them together and they fit like a glove.

    I believe God uses all type of situations to bring your spouse to you or in my case, to let you know if the person is not right for you. If you want to know, prayer is necessary. Otherwise, your emotions get the best of you and you end up marrying the wrong person. I've seen this happen as well.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2010
  13. Keri

    Keri Legend Supporter

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    Dude, I only sent TWO today. :p
     
  14. peacechild4

    peacechild4 My ♥ is hidden in GOD~ want to find me ~ find GOD

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    Ha.. love it.. yes yes.. so true.. and the amazing thing no matter what they say you will read them all.. :)
     
  15. peacechild4

    peacechild4 My ♥ is hidden in GOD~ want to find me ~ find GOD

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    I think things will just fall into place.. something about that person just clicks inside you.. and you want to be with them.. and just seeing them makes your heart race.. I love it.. something they say will make you nod and change the course of your day.. and you will think about them...

    I watch my daughter and her boyfriend.. and all the lovely things they do for each other.. the way they LOL.. run into each others arms sometimes even if they just saw each other the day before... just want to be with each other so much.. kiss.. and he buys her flowers.. and they argue too.. LOL.. silly spats.. but they text each other.. and sigh.. it is lovely..

    If I ever get the chance at love again.. I hope I never lose that joy of first love..
     
  16. ;);););););););););););););)
     
  17. Mrs. Luther073082

    Mrs. Luther073082 Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3

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    I know it is cliche to give this as a reply, but as they say, you "just know".

    The first time I was in my husband arm's, I thought, "this is my husband".
     
  18. peacechild4

    peacechild4 My ♥ is hidden in GOD~ want to find me ~ find GOD

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    I love the picture of you and your husband.. you make a lovely couple..
     
  19. Mrs. Luther073082

    Mrs. Luther073082 Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3

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  20. When he hands you a Nickelback album. He is the One.