Ever since I got saved years ago, back when I was 12, I've never had that emotional connection with Christ. It just feels like I don't want to go to Hell, and that's it. That's the only thing driving me to be a Christian. I can't live in denial anymore. It's been that way ever since. I want to have a real relationship with Christ but I can't force myself to feel a certain way. If I try to live like a Christian should, without that actual relationship, it just feels like a ton of rules to follow that make me miserable and bored with life.
You have to want to follow Christ, not feel like you have to. But I've never gotten past that part.
Now there were times where I did think deep down, I really do love God, it's just not as plain as day.
I would like to hear what you guys think.
Relating to God is not, obviously, exactly the same as relating to another human being. God is Spirit; He isn't generally accessible to us on the physical plane. So, how does one relate with a Being who is intangible? Well, first off, its important to remember that God is a Person, not a Force, or a mystical, incomprehensible thing. How do you maintain healthy relationships with others? Through regular communication. And how does a believer communicate with God? Prayer and Bible study. We speak to God in prayer and He speaks to us from His Word, the Bible. As with every relationship, if we let the communication slide, the relationship weakens and will eventually dissolve. So, how's your communication with your Heavenly Father? Are you praying and studying the Bible?
How has God answered your prayers? His answers communicate to you His will and character and demonstrate His care for you. Have you asked Him to deepen your love for Him? You see, God doesn't want your human affection, your human love. He wants the purest and best love, which is His own. So, in order for you to give Him such love He must first give it to you from Himself. We form a sort of circuit with God, not just in the matter of loving Him, but in all of the things He requires from us. He gives us what He desires from us in the Person of His Spirit and then we offer what He has given back to Him. We work out what He has first worked into us. So, how's this been going? Have you been looking at all to the Holy Spirit to transform you and enable you to "complete the circuit" with God?
Obedience to God's rules must always and only flow out of a love for Him. No other motive for our obedience will do. (
Matt. 22:36, 37; 1Cor. 13:1-3; 1Jn. 4:16-19) Fear, guilt, piety, duty - none of these motives for walking with God are acceptable to Him. But how do you come to have a love-motive for walking with God? Well, as I said, this is
God's job. You and I are too self-centered to love God as we ought to love Him. God must intervene to break our self-centeredness and reorient us upon Himself. He does this in part by showing us the incredible depth of His love for us by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross for our sins. (
Jn. 3:16) He also does this by helping us see just how totally unworthy we are of His forgiveness and love (
Lu. 7:36-47). Finally, He gives us His love in the Person of the Holy Spirit who transforms us into God-loving people as we submit to him doing so within us. (
Phil. 2:13; 2Cor. 3:18; Ga. 5:22, 23)
When I talk about a "real" relationship with God these are the things I describe: Illumination of God's truth, conviction of my sin, comfort in my pain and sorrows, power to live rightly and to stand victorious over sin, joy in worshiping Him, and deep fulfillment in being used by Him to bless others. In these things there is an emotional dimension but emotion or feelings are not the primary basis upon which I walk with God. My feelings follow my mind and will, my mind must have the preeminence in my walk with God, which is how He has told us in Scripture we must walk with Him. (
Matt. 22:37; Ac. 17:11; Ro. 7:25; 12:2; 15:6; Eph. 4:17-23; Phil. 2:5, etc.) Your life as a disciple of Christ shouldn't be totally devoid of feeling, of positive emotion toward God, but reject any who would urge you to make such emotion the main impetus for your life as a believer or the way you know you are really a child of God.
Selah.