I messed up

[mottec]

Hi

I started reading the bible because I had problems in my life, and I knew that people in my family wished I read some in it.

I think I developed a good understanding of Jesus, as well as the Old Testamente.

Then I got my diagnosis as mentally ill.

Somewhere along the line I lost faith in God, since I was struggling with my sexuality, and doubted that God would accept me.

This led to problematic behaiviour with extreme binge drinking and agressive behaviour. It is now 3 years since then, and as I was given court ordered treatment, I decided to better myself. I think I have come far, but the thing is that I get very sick from the meds. I am overly sensitive to all medications. That makes it even more difficult to oblige with the psychiatrist treatments. Sadly I fond no understanding and no doctors ever believed me. I now have brain damage from medicines and other health issues.

However I do hope that It is not too late to change my ways, which I have tried to do for three years. I understand now, that I need to communicate clearly when I feel threathened by meds(I know sounds strange, but is real for me) or otherwise.

I still feel that real healing in my life, will come from faith, I just wished I had been a little more sincere and strong in my belief of what I was reading and adviced to do from clergy.

All the best

Mottec

 

[lost traveler]

Someone from our Church once said that, if you are just starting to read the Bible. "My advise to you is to start reading the New Testament first, because the times and customs from the Old Testament now differ from our own time". I did. And noticed that almost throughout the holy gospels Jesus approached the sinners and the sick, even the worst during that time and forgave and healed them because of their faith.

Have faith and God bless.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hebrews 11:45 Says through faith "....out of weakness were made strong". Faith will strengthen you, even if you have had years of loss, nothing is too hard for God. Many disabled people, have great testimonies of how God has strengthened them. I have suffered debilitating mental illness in the past but knowing God and his love for me has strengthened me in many ways. I no longer suffer mental illness, have married, have a good job, all is good for me. Yet looking back I would never have though things could get better.

 

[Catherineanne]

Hi

I started reading the bible because I had problems in my life, and I knew that people in my family wished I read some in it.

I think I developed a good understanding of Jesus, as well as the Old Testamente.

Then I got my diagnosis as mentally ill.

Somewhere along the line I lost faith in God, since I was struggling with my sexuality, and doubted that God would accept me.

This led to problematic behaiviour with extreme binge drinking and agressive behaviour. It is now 3 years since then, and as I was given court ordered treatment, I decided to better myself. I think I have come far, but the thing is that I get very sick from the meds. I am overly sensitive to all medications. That makes it even more difficult to oblige with the psychiatrist treatments. Sadly I fond no understanding and no doctors ever believed me. I now have brain damage from medicines and other health issues.

However I do hope that It is not too late to change my ways, which I have tried to do for three years. I understand now, that I need to communicate clearly when I feel threathened by meds(I know sounds strange, but is real for me) or otherwise.

I still feel that real healing in my life, will come from faith, I just wished I had been a little more sincere and strong in my belief of what I was reading and adviced to do from clergy.

All the best

Mottec

I am very sensitive to medication as well; I have CPTSD. I tend to ask doctors to begin with the lowest possible dose to see whether it is sufficient. Sometimes they even listen. : )

None of us is perfect. Our full healing will never come in this world; we are all more or less struggling, and we have all messed up one way or another. The Lord does not wait until we are fully sorted out before he accepts us; it is already done. And then we continue our journey of faith as we are; with all of our imperfections.