I just feel like I'm making God mad.

[dabro]

i just stopped smoking meth after a almost nine years from it. I relapse for about a month and now here I am dealing with my strongest stronghold. Drugs. I feel like a failure. My anxiety is always high. I feel like my relationship with God cannot be restored, that I have went to far. I just don't want to lose my salvation. And I want to truly in my heart make God happy but everywhere I turn the temptation to use whatever drug takes away the pain is to strong and always there. Please guys idk what to do anymore.

 

[Dave-W]

You need to find either a really good christian counselor or a good rehab facility.

God is not mad at you. The thoughts that say otherwise are lies from the devil. God is wanting to help you get clean and sober.

 

[LaSorcia]

He is not mad at all- at you. He is angry at the evil trying to trap you. It is not easy to overcome any addiction. For most people, relapse is part of recovery. Hopefully, you get over them faster, there is more time in between and eventually, you don't relapse any more.

Also, doing speed for 9 years- of course you feel anxious. It will take your body some time to find equilibrium again.

 

[MissRowy]

God loves you. He cares about you and wants you to be happy with yourself. We all make mistakes but we have Jesus who died for us. It's Satan who makes you feel like this. You have to put on that crown and tell Satan to buzz off because you are the victor not Satan.

 

[well hey]

Nope, He is NOT mad at you. He loves your heart that you are trying to put meth out of your life! Way to go! I can almost feel God telling me he is so proud of you for going in the right direction. I was addicted to stimulants (meth coke aderal and more eh...) for seven years. And guess what? He delivered me from it becuase of my heart wanting out of it. Dont beat yourself up, please. He does it not you, its by the power of the Holy Spirit that makes you hate drugs- in fact pray for that specific- that you will hate meth. That prayer is what got me free. Dont equate how long it takes you to get free or how many times you do it at how much God loves you or if youl get free. And only go to rehab if you think thats best for you. Somtimes rehab doesnt do smack and you just need Gods spirit! I pray the best for you! way to go!

 

[AHH who-stole-my-name]

i just stopped smoking meth after a almost nine years from it. I relapse for about a month and now here I am dealing with my strongest stronghold. Drugs. I feel like a failure. My anxiety is always high. I feel like my relationship with God cannot be restored, that I have went to far. I just don't want to lose my salvation. And I want to truly in my heart make God happy but everywhere I turn the temptation to use whatever drug takes away the pain is to strong and always there. Please guys idk what to do anymore.

Dude God speaks to you in your concern about loosing him. He keeps him in and on your mind through that little nudge in your conscience.
God also speaks to you through people around you, so you need to be open to new things and new people. Your ticket out of your pain could be and old lay across the street, A younger person who you meet on the street or any of a thousand other people that just might come up and talk with you, just out of the blue.

I abused drugs and alcohol for close to a 3rd of my life
http://www.christianforums.com/threads/the-curse-of-drugs.7927788/page-2#post-69130991
I was craving the satisfaction that I wanted to get from them because the world outside had not, in my opinion given me anything but rejection. I finally realized it was I who was rejecting myself, because I had a mental image of what I needed to be to be acceptable. I didn't love the face that looked back at me in a mirror and that was the most excruciating pain in the world. It was a gnawing feeling of guilt that I could not shake because I was manufacturing in my own head.

It sounds to me that you are as sick and tired of being sick and tired, as I was and this one reach might be the one that finally gives you the strength to take Gods hand and let him pull you out of this dreaded world of fear and anxiety, but you really need to be earnest and you really need to reject the images of your old life and the illusion that you can do this alone.

There is a power and majesty in God and he will fill you with force of will to defeat this, but you need to concentrate on him, fully. You need to walk around your house and tell yourself, "nothing is impossible for God. Jesus will be my rock and my salvation and you need to preach that sermon to yourself, over and over and out loud. You don't need to say it under your breath because the enemy loves when you are embarrassed or insecure about your relationship with God. He will fill you with doubt and fear, so he can put a wedge between you and salutation. You need to add your voice to the crescendo of Angels that God will send you for your add to blast the Devil from holding you down with the drugs that have never and will never offer you anything more than what he can. Eternal suffering.

God will meet you half way and will steady you legs, but you will still have to do some of the walking. He has done so, over and over in The Bible from everyone from Moses an on. You will have to go into Detox the same as I, but God will remove that which you can't and ease your burden, but you need to want him in your life and want him in your life. It is not that he will walk out if you fail because God believes in you. He is up there rooting you on as we speak.

 

[Goatee]

Its a massive cross you are carrying at this point in your life. One that is very heavy indeed. No doubting that at all!.

Obviously you are being tested. You need to seek medical help and spiritual help. You cannot do this alone! Your biggest help is Jesus. He 'IS' carrying you! He is helping you! But, you still need the help of others. Dont try and go it alone. Knuckle down, get pro help and seek out 'Godly' help too.

Jesus did say that the Narrow way is not easy. Be strong my friend.