I don't like being a single mum, why am I so impatient?

[Tudor1485]

So I am a new single mum as of 6 months ago, my ex fiance is still in canada and I moved back home with our daughter to the uk. To say I'm angry at how easily he gave up is and understatement, I'm livid.
I'm trying to get over and work through what happened by myself, but I'm just consumed with thoughts of finding the real man God has in store for me. I feel like I'm obsessed with not being single and getting married. It doesn't help that many of my friends around my age (23 ) are getting married. I had that dream too but I'm now dumped and left with a child to take care of by myself.

How do I stop obsessing about being in another relationship?

 

[ShadowsChild]

First off. I am sorry for your situation. A break up is hard enough, involve a kid AND a move of country. It couldn't be easy.

I have been a single parent for 3 years now. The first bit - 1.5 years or so, I wouldn't even LOOK at another male. I just needed to heal. Which is what I would suggest for you. Make sure you take the time to heal. You don't want to just jump into another relationship. Your daughter is young, so she wouldn't remember, but think of it this way. If she were older and remembered, would you want her to remember a bunch of different guys in her life or just that ONE who would become her Dad.

Down the road... I think it's okay to allow yourself to dream. Least I hope so, cause I do all the time. But in my dreaming, I find the type of guy that I DO want. And I pray for him. One thing I started doing on the nights when I am really lonely - I write to him. I have a book of letters, some are just random thoughts, others are letters of celebration, or if I am in a rough place. They are love letters to him, that I intend on giving to him on our wedding day. It helps - I swear to it.

I wish you the best.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

If I was you I would probably have a lot of mixed emotions, and feelings, both about myself, and about what God thinks of me, I would wonder if he cared enough for me to find me a partner. But the reality is God did care for me, I was a habitual sinner, in a real mess, even as a Christian. When I wanted to get my life together I wondered if God loved me or would punish me by causing me to be single my whole life. I obsessed over the fact of being able to find some one, to the point I got suicidal. Yet God one day just told me, in a way I could understand, he had some one for me, and it turned out that this very some one would marry me. We are now happily married. God is going to be no different with you, he will guide you and direct you into the right path, a path that is best for you. It may not be in the same way as me, but he cares for you in an identical way. But like the last person said try to find some rest and peace in what you do. If you are rested you will make better decisions. God is with you, he will help you.

 

[Adelyn Woodcock]

My sister is a single mom and after ending her relationship, everything seems to be not good. She feels as if all of a sudden everything is turning back on her. But she said, she must overcome all the negativity for the sake of her daughter.

I think you need time.It is not something easy but with the help of your family and the inspiration from your child, I think you will be good in no time.

 

[Odetta]

Just because you desperately want to be in a relationship doesn't mean you're actually ready for one. Psalm 37:4 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (NIV). The taking delight part means allowing God to give you His desires. If His desire is for you to be in a relationship, then He will provide it in His timing, when you are ready for it. In the meantime, it sounds like you have some things you need to work through in prayer. I pray for His peace for you, and provision for you and your daughter.

 

[rambot]

Being part of a parenting unit makes me have a lot of respect for single parents. I'd suggest that if you found a good counsellor, you may be able to explore a bit more WHY you are so obsessed with being in a relationship/in a family (fear of the unknown/of doing it alone). Once you understand why you so badly want it, it will be easier for you to shift your focus a bit and consider the importance of your relationship status in relation to what you want for yourself and what you want for your son/daughter.

 

[mmksparbud]

You asked why you are so impatient---nobody likes to wait when they want something---however, it might help you gain some patience if you remember that it was impatience that made you a single mom to begin with!

 

[rambot]

You asked why you are so impatient---nobody likes to wait when they want something---however, it might help you gain some patience if you remember that it was impatience that made you a single mom to begin with!

Impatience chased away her ex-fiance?

 

[mmksparbud]

Impatience led to her having sex before marriage and getting pregnant without a husband!

 

[Erick The Evangelist]

You are truly a very strong women and I believe that God sees the strength in you, I pray that soon God will send a man your way that not only is a great suitor but a man also chasing God. Be patient sister!

 

[PENINNAH]

i wish i was single

 

[Avniel]

I think people try to normalize being a single parent like it's a positive and its just as good as having both parents. The truth is your desire is natural you have a child, it's understandable why that would make any christian want to have a family. All I can say is pray and be encouraged that your desires are not unnatural for your situation.

 

[lanternburning]

So I am a new single mum as of 6 months ago, my ex fiance is still in canada and I moved back home with our daughter to the uk. To say I'm angry at how easily he gave up is and understatement, I'm livid.
I'm trying to get over and work through what happened by myself, but I'm just consumed with thoughts of finding the real man God has in store for me. I feel like I'm obsessed with not being single and getting married. It doesn't help that many of my friends around my age (23 ) are getting married. I had that dream too but I'm now dumped and left with a child to take care of by myself.

How do I stop obsessing about being in another relationship?

Honey, you don't have the right to complain. You gave that up when you made the choice to become a single mother.

 

[rambot]

Honey, you don't have the right to complain. You gave that up when you made the choice to become a single mother.

The irony of this post and your signature is beyond disappointing.
Because see, you could help them too.

 

[Mudinyeri]

How do I stop obsessing about being in another relationship?

In short, focus first on serving Jesus, then on serving Others and then on Yourself. I've found that it's exceptionally difficult to focus on myself when I'm helping those less fortunate. Who knows ... while you're helping the less fortunate, you may just find another person with the same interests (Jesus and Others) and form a relationship.

 

[JAM2b]

I'm very disappointed to see callous and rude comments to a young mother who is struggling.

 

[rambot]

I'm very disappointed to see callous and rude comments to a young mother who is struggling.

No kidding hey? There is a very real lack of Christian love being shown here.