I am so tired of going through this spiral....

mimi75042

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I have been with my husband for 17 yrs and we have been married for 9. He is a very difficult person to deal with, he's bipolar and he has no patience and doesn't know how to handle stress. We have our own business and he is constantly stressing about it. He likes to lash out on me and take things out on me. He's extremely bipolar, one minute he's insulting me and lashing out at me and 10 minutes later he's all lovey dovey. How does he expect me to feel if he has insulted me and lashed out on me 10 minutes ago? He's very annoying and he gets on my nerves, sometimes I just feel like running away and leaving him alone because he gets to the point where I can't stand him. His actions and verbal abuse cause me to have hate towards him. It's like I am losing what I feel for him and he's the one to blame for it. It's his actions and what he says and does that make me feel like that. He can be very nice sometimes, but then turn to a completely mean and heartless person. I wish that there was something that he could do to change because he has real serious mental issues. I sometimes just want to turn in the towel and let him be, because I know that if I was by myself, I would be at peace with myself. I am in constant prayer for me and my son, I also pray for him and it doesn't seem to be working. I'm already at my wits end. I need prayer or a revelation because now I'm at the point where I just feel sorry for him and he's making me feel nothing for him, and I'm afraid that eventually it's going to turn into scornful and hate. Just venting..
 

Daryl Gleason

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Thank you for venting, sister, and grace and peace to you in the name of our lord Jesus. I'll certainly be praying.

It may be that your husband does not understand or even perceive the effects his behavior is having on you. If he does know that he's hurting you but doesn't seem to care, that's quite serious.

At the risk of asking the obvious, have you considered counseling, both for yourself and for the two of you together? I ask because having someone local to talk to in person can really help immensely, and if you're anywhere near considering separation, it may be that your husband would agree to counseling rather than face that very unpleasant alternative.

In any case, as I say, I will be praying.

In Christ,
Daryl
 
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Catherineanne

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I have been with my husband for 17 yrs and we have been married for 9. He is a very difficult person to deal with, he's bipolar and he has no patience and doesn't know how to handle stress. We have our own business and he is constantly stressing about it. He likes to lash out on me and take things out on me. He's extremely bipolar, one minute he's insulting me and lashing out at me and 10 minutes later he's all lovey dovey. How does he expect me to feel if he has insulted me and lashed out on me 10 minutes ago? He's very annoying and he gets on my nerves, sometimes I just feel like running away and leaving him alone because he gets to the point where I can't stand him. His actions and verbal abuse cause me to have hate towards him. It's like I am losing what I feel for him and he's the one to blame for it. It's his actions and what he says and does that make me feel like that. He can be very nice sometimes, but then turn to a completely mean and heartless person. I wish that there was something that he could do to change because he has real serious mental issues. I sometimes just want to turn in the towel and let him be, because I know that if I was by myself, I would be at peace with myself. I am in constant prayer for me and my son, I also pray for him and it doesn't seem to be working. I'm already at my wits end. I need prayer or a revelation because now I'm at the point where I just feel sorry for him and he's making me feel nothing for him, and I'm afraid that eventually it's going to turn into scornful and hate. Just venting..

Has your h been diagnosed as bipolar by a doctor?

Bipolar does not provide an excuse for verbal or emotional abuse, and that is the main issue here. You do not have to put up with being abused, and your son does not need to see it. Your h does not have the right to take out his own stress on the two of you.

I would start to make some plans for a break for you and your son; perhaps with a relative. Take a couple of weeks to think about your marriage in a safe place, and work out what your options are. Perhaps talk to a minister or someone you trust. It may be that marriage counselling will help, but you need some space to think about that, and to allow your h to think about his behaviour as well.
 
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holyreefer

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Anybody without the influence of GOD can't and will act out. The verbal abuse has to stop! PERIOD!

Have you tried to pray together?

Don't allow resentment, anger and Unforgiveness to root in your heart you will be dealing with a whole lot more than you really signed up for. It would be like you taking poision and expecting him to die.
My personal opinion leaving for a temporary time like to your moms with child would be good but not breaking up your family. (Divorcing)
 
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mimi75042

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I am still needing prayer for my husband, he is still having problems with stress, every time something goes wrong at his shop, he still takes it out on me and on top of that he gets mad at me. So at the present time, he is mad at me because the printer ran out of toner last night and now that I have the toner this morning, he's still mad. Please continue to keep my marriage in prayer. Thanks.
 
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