I have posted this question in Married Women Personal Topics, but wanted to post it here as well, to get opinions from both sexes. Thanks.
My husband and I have been married for just over a year. We both waited to have sex until we were married.
Before we were married, my husband would say how he couldn't wait to make love to me and that it would be so fun to explore each others bodies. I to was excited for this.
During our honeymoon, I wanted to have sex every day. I was so happy and excited to get to express love in this way with my husband. However, my husband didn't feel like having sex everyday during our honeymoon. Okay, that was fine by me. I can compromises.
But, after the honeymoon, my husband still had little desire to have sex with me. Over this last year, we have had sex about once a month. However, there was a series of four weeks where we had sex once a week. It was fun, but didn't last. Now we haven't had sex for at least six weeks.
The problem is that I could have sex everyday and I would be fine with a few tines a week, but my husband has no interest in me sexually. I have tried so many things; lingerie, no lingerie, being aggressive, etc. I told my husband that we could act out any of his sexual fantasies, but he says he doesn't have any. I keep the house spotless, cook dinner every night, pack his lunches for work, and I work out every morning. I'm young(20) I always take good care of myself and look presentable. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!
We have talked about it many times, but it doesn't help. I tried to explain to him that God wants us to have sex, that it's healthy and natural. He says he knows all that. We read the bible together every night and pray together at dinner time.
I am so hurt by this. I feel so rejected, and worst of all sex is becoming something that is absolutely unbearable to even think about. I associate sex with tons of negative emotions and it's just getting worse. I'm afraid that one day my husband is going to say "Honey, I want to have sex all the time now!" and I will have no desire to have sex with him by then.
This is especially difficult for me because I was sexually abused for 8 years as a child by my step-father. It was very hard to work through all those emotions and to try to heal from all those hurts. Before I got married, I had started to associate sex with positive things and sex became an expression of love in mind, rather that a punishment. I felt dirty, and like a harlot for the things that had happened to me. Now, being rejected all the time has brought back those feelings. I feel that wanting sex is wrong and that I am a sexed up [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse].
I finally found the one person I trust enough to have sex with, the one person I actually want to have sex with. I was so happy to make new memories of sex that would be positive. Of course, he doesn't want me.
So what am I supposed to do? Why doesn't my husband want me? Please help me! I am tired of feeling sad and alone. I don't know what to do. I need support and guidance please!
Please, no suggestions of my husband being gay, having an affair, or being addicted to inappropriate content. None of those are possibilities.
My husband and I have been married for just over a year. We both waited to have sex until we were married.
Before we were married, my husband would say how he couldn't wait to make love to me and that it would be so fun to explore each others bodies. I to was excited for this.
During our honeymoon, I wanted to have sex every day. I was so happy and excited to get to express love in this way with my husband. However, my husband didn't feel like having sex everyday during our honeymoon. Okay, that was fine by me. I can compromises.
But, after the honeymoon, my husband still had little desire to have sex with me. Over this last year, we have had sex about once a month. However, there was a series of four weeks where we had sex once a week. It was fun, but didn't last. Now we haven't had sex for at least six weeks.
The problem is that I could have sex everyday and I would be fine with a few tines a week, but my husband has no interest in me sexually. I have tried so many things; lingerie, no lingerie, being aggressive, etc. I told my husband that we could act out any of his sexual fantasies, but he says he doesn't have any. I keep the house spotless, cook dinner every night, pack his lunches for work, and I work out every morning. I'm young(20) I always take good care of myself and look presentable. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!
We have talked about it many times, but it doesn't help. I tried to explain to him that God wants us to have sex, that it's healthy and natural. He says he knows all that. We read the bible together every night and pray together at dinner time.
I am so hurt by this. I feel so rejected, and worst of all sex is becoming something that is absolutely unbearable to even think about. I associate sex with tons of negative emotions and it's just getting worse. I'm afraid that one day my husband is going to say "Honey, I want to have sex all the time now!" and I will have no desire to have sex with him by then.
This is especially difficult for me because I was sexually abused for 8 years as a child by my step-father. It was very hard to work through all those emotions and to try to heal from all those hurts. Before I got married, I had started to associate sex with positive things and sex became an expression of love in mind, rather that a punishment. I felt dirty, and like a harlot for the things that had happened to me. Now, being rejected all the time has brought back those feelings. I feel that wanting sex is wrong and that I am a sexed up [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse].
I finally found the one person I trust enough to have sex with, the one person I actually want to have sex with. I was so happy to make new memories of sex that would be positive. Of course, he doesn't want me.
So what am I supposed to do? Why doesn't my husband want me? Please help me! I am tired of feeling sad and alone. I don't know what to do. I need support and guidance please!
Please, no suggestions of my husband being gay, having an affair, or being addicted to inappropriate content. None of those are possibilities.