I know nobody here can help me but myself but I just need to talk and have no one I can rant to. My house is covered in mold and cockroaches and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm the only one who keeps the house clean (and do a poor job because I'm always fatigued) and nobody else helps keep the dishes clean. I feel like everyone expects me to clean everything and it is frustrating me. I am 22 years old, no job, no money, still living with my family and can't even drive. Never learned properly and can't get enough practice to feel comfortable with it. I feel like a loser. I'm tired of living in a dirty house, I want to move out but nobody thinks its a problem. God has been my only refuge through all of this. I need a hug. Just a hug will help.
I'm working on hopefully getting a GED, I already passed the English portion. Just need 3 more tests to pass. But when I get that, then what? I will still be living here in this dirty house (which is probably causing my health problems) while my dad moves out with his girlfriend and I am stuck. When I get a job all my money has to go to paying the house's bills while he pays mortgage. I don't want to live here though! I'm scared. Tonight I watch as my cat chases a roach around my room and it makes me feel so dirty.
I don't have any friends. Except my family, that is all the social interaction I get. I know I need to go to church but the social anxiety of it scares me to stay home instead. What a paradox right? The loneliness has been killing me. I get jealous when I see girls my age on my facebook having fun with their boyfriends and getting engaged, I feel like a loser. My social skills SUCK. I can't even look people in the eye and stutter like Porky Pig. I can't hold a conversation and end up looking awkward. yet I day dream of having a relationship a lot and yet I know I am not even mature or ready , and that hurts too.
I can't drive and I am 22 years old. I only have a permit, and can't get enough practice per week to feel comfortable to try for a license. My dad works a lot and comes home tired and can only take me once a week. I don't know anybody who would want to help me really , and I need to practice everyday and I can't.
I just feel like ranting. I know it is not Godly but I have been hurting lately and need to let it out. You don't have to give me advice, just tell me it will be okay. That is all I want.
I'm working on hopefully getting a GED, I already passed the English portion. Just need 3 more tests to pass. But when I get that, then what? I will still be living here in this dirty house (which is probably causing my health problems) while my dad moves out with his girlfriend and I am stuck. When I get a job all my money has to go to paying the house's bills while he pays mortgage. I don't want to live here though! I'm scared. Tonight I watch as my cat chases a roach around my room and it makes me feel so dirty.
I don't have any friends. Except my family, that is all the social interaction I get. I know I need to go to church but the social anxiety of it scares me to stay home instead. What a paradox right? The loneliness has been killing me. I get jealous when I see girls my age on my facebook having fun with their boyfriends and getting engaged, I feel like a loser. My social skills SUCK. I can't even look people in the eye and stutter like Porky Pig. I can't hold a conversation and end up looking awkward. yet I day dream of having a relationship a lot and yet I know I am not even mature or ready , and that hurts too.
I can't drive and I am 22 years old. I only have a permit, and can't get enough practice per week to feel comfortable to try for a license. My dad works a lot and comes home tired and can only take me once a week. I don't know anybody who would want to help me really , and I need to practice everyday and I can't.
I just feel like ranting. I know it is not Godly but I have been hurting lately and need to let it out. You don't have to give me advice, just tell me it will be okay. That is all I want.