How to talk to a gay, nominal Catholic friend

kurayami

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A friend of mine (He's my best friend from high school, so I've known him for nearly 20 years) was Facebook stalking me, and found an article or post that I liked on Facebook that was in support of biblical and traditional marriage views. He identifies as gay and therefore, was quite angry. He sent me a text to inform me of this. A lengthy dialogue over the course of a day or so ensued, I sent him a link to this comic, and needless to say, my friend read little of it because he vehemently disagrees with the biblical stance that homosexuality is a sin. He is of the belief that the bible is basically a conspiracy and was written several hundred years after Christ lived. I have attempted to direct him to good sources of information such as "An Introduction to the New Testament" by D.A. Carson and Douglas Moo. But my friend won't have a bar of it.

He believes that because he grew up in a family where he was forced to go to church every Sunday until the age of 15, that he knows better than I do. Admittedly, I've only been a Christian for 2.5 years, but I give praise to God that my pastor teaches very biblically, and that he is shepherding his flock well.

My friend is also rather upset with me because I said I would pray for him, and I do pray for him that God would soften his heart. Now he won't actually speak with me. I really don't know how to approach this, but it's the elephant in the room. How can I love him as we are called to love our neighbour and just ignore the issue of his salvation?

Any advice that anyone has would be greatly appreciated.
 

BFine

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If he doesn't want to be in your company
or remain in touch with you...that's his choice.
Accept that.
However, as a Christian, you can surrender him
to the Lord and continue being a light in this
dark world...there are others who will hear the
gospel, receive it and seek the Lord for salvation.

The truth in God's Word isn't palatable for
many folks, even those who claim to be believers/Christians...now they have buildings
for those who are like that... social club churches.
 
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Hospes

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A friend of mine (He's my best friend from high school, so I've known him for nearly 20 years) was Facebook stalking me, and found an article or post that I liked on Facebook that was in support of biblical and traditional marriage views. He identifies as gay and therefore, was quite angry. He sent me a text to inform me of this. A lengthy dialogue over the course of a day or so ensued, I sent him a link to this comic, and needless to say, my friend read little of it because he vehemently disagrees with the biblical stance that homosexuality is a sin. He is of the belief that the bible is basically a conspiracy and was written several hundred years after Christ lived. I have attempted to direct him to good sources of information such as "An Introduction to the New Testament" by D.A. Carson and Douglas Moo. But my friend won't have a bar of it.

He believes that because he grew up in a family where he was forced to go to church every Sunday until the age of 15, that he knows better than I do. Admittedly, I've only been a Christian for 2.5 years, but I give praise to God that my pastor teaches very biblically, and that he is shepherding his flock well.

My friend is also rather upset with me because I said I would pray for him, and I do pray for him that God would soften his heart. Now he won't actually speak with me. I really don't know how to approach this, but it's the elephant in the room. How can I love him as we are called to love our neighbour and just ignore the issue of his salvation?

Any advice that anyone has would be greatly appreciated.
I think the comic says it well. The only thing I'd add is to keep in mind our current western culture teaches the deception that LGBT is a permanent part of a person's core identity. For those who have bought into the deception, it is a world-rocking event to see the truth of the Gospel. (Of all people, Christians should recognize the Gospel necessarily turns ones life on its head.) As Christians, we should be very careful and wise about the way we approach someone who understands what we are teaching strikes at the core of their identity. We should approach such people the way a surgeon does a patient: minimizing the pain and cutting while saving the patient. Unfortunately, there are too may of us that act more like we are gutting a cow in the way we treat others' sins.

On further thought, there are any number of people who advocate moving the patient to hospice so that the patient's death is made comfortable just so the patient can avoid the pain of a life saving surgery.
 
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graceandpeace

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Sending him that comic was a mistake. The content is hurtful. And frankly, telling him you will "pray for him" (regarding being gay I presume) sounds very condescending.

Basically, you've torpedoed any chance to ever talk to him about your religion. It's possible the friendship will not survive.

Keep in mind that someone who is gay & has grown up in an un-accepting church is likely well aware of how some Christians treat his sexuality.

So, if you think he will even still be your friend, you could offer an apology along the lines of you didn't mean to upset him & that there will be no more attempts to send him religious "help." If religion is brought up, let him be the one to bring it up. Then, listen & respond graciously.

You could prepare yourself in advance by taking time to research & understand the gay community. That would be the first step in love.
 
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Goodbook

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I think..you might need to understand what kind of 'gay' he is. To know how to approach him if concerned about his salvation and praying for him. You cant be a friend otherwise.
Is he actually practising sodomy, or was he molested and acting out his trauma, or is he trandsgeder confused? Or is he not really just hangs out with gay people all the time who most likely preying on him?

You mention he was in the catholic church, now that church, sorry of that offends any catholics, is quite known for priests molesting children. So it could be that, that happened to him and thats why he doesnt like church, or anything to do with religion. Of course those offending priests have covered it up, but now its been exposed it just means because ppl associate catholicism with christianity they think all christians are bad.
 
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Mister_Al

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People that are going to hell will usually defend their sins to justify themselvs to you if you confront them. If he is gay, and does not turn away from his sins and turn to Jesus then the Bible says he will NOT inherit the Kingdom of God.

I know he is mad at you for approaching him the way you did, but you did try to help him--that's what friends do. Just because he didn't respond favorably to you doesn't mean that you are a bad friend, it just means that you made him uncomfortable and that's not up to you to try and fix by groveling at his feet. Maybe the next person that approches him will be listened to.

Just pray for him and ask the Holy Spirit to put others in his path to help enforce the truth to him.

It's hard to convince a gay person that they are in sin. Even God turned them over to their lustfull minds.

Alan
 
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ValleyGal

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It is not up to us to convict other people of their sin. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. Our job is to show the love of Christ and share the Gospel. It is up to them what to do with it. There is no point in arguing your point as it will come across as judgement rather than the love that drove Jesus to the cross. There are many LGBT2S who are Christians, and perhaps the Spirit will lead those believers into the truth...it is where they are on their journey... Compassion wins over condemnation.
 
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football5680

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He has created his own God to justify all his sins and he won't accept anything that would disagree. There not much you can do other than pray that he eventually wants to know what the will of God truly is. If he was going to a Catholic Church then obviously he wasn't paying attention because the Church rejects his ideas.
 
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TravelerFarAwayFromHome

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I think one of the reasons LGBT doesn't want to come to God is because how some of us relate to them and the "unique" way we choose to share gospel with them, different then how we do it with other straight believers

I guess what I am trying to say is don't add salt to the injury

this Tim Keller video explains it
 
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camperdown9

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The church seams very keen pick on one area of sin while ignoring others and then society just magnifies this. Example its seen as acceptable and nearly expected that the average straight 20 year old male will of had multiple sexual partners. It acceptable that couples live together outside marriage. Its acceptable to marry, divorce and marry again.

However churches are more willing to condemn homosexuality rather than adultery. Matthew 5:27-28 makes it clear that adultery is something that you can commit in your heart and not just a physical act. So I think very few people will be innocent of adultery, even if they have never actually cheated on their partner.

My personal belief is that people are born with same sex attractions, is not a choice. So if someone wants to follow Christ and has same sex attraction it can be argued that they are being called to a life of celibacy. Thats a big cross to bear.

Just be there for you friend thats all you can do.
 
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TravelerFarAwayFromHome

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. We should approach such people the way a surgeon does a patient: minimizing the pain and cutting while saving the patient. Unfortunately, there are too may of us that act more like we are gutting a cow in the way we treat others' sins.

On further thought, there are any number of people who advocate moving the patient to hospice so that the patient's death is made comfortable just so the patient can avoid the pain of a life saving surgery.

The most sensible thing I have heard people make in a long long time on this issue
 
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TravelerFarAwayFromHome

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It is not up to us to convict other people of their sin. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. Our job is to show the love of Christ and share the Gospel. It is up to them what to do with it. There is no point in arguing your point as it will come across as judgement rather than the love that drove Jesus to the cross. There are many LGBT2S who are Christians, and perhaps the Spirit will lead those believers into the truth...it is where they are on their journey... Compassion wins over condemnation.

Amen
 
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grandvizier1006

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Sending him that comic was a mistake. The content is hurtful. And frankly, telling him you will "pray for him" (regarding being gay I presume) sounds very condescending.

Basically, you've torpedoed any chance to ever talk to him about your religion. It's possible the friendship will not survive.

Keep in mind that someone who is gay & has grown up in an un-accepting church is likely well aware of how some Christians treat his sexuality.

So, if you think he will even still be your friend, you could offer an apology along the lines of you didn't mean to upset him & that there will be no more attempts to send him religious "help." If religion is brought up, let him be the one to bring it up. Then, listen & respond graciously.

You could prepare yourself in advance by taking time to research & understand the gay community. That would be the first step in love.
You're thinking of chick tracts. That comic is hateful. This was just someone expressing the default christian view of homosexuality.
 
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grandvizier1006

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I swear, I ran into somebody a lot like that. We might as well have been talking to the same person :p except he was online and not a friend. And he had tons of other beliefs that weren't Christian and a very dogmatic attitude, and he needed help because he was so paranoid.

Chances are he was angered by it because it sort of messes up the narrative he came to believe. Don't think gay marriage is approved by God=hate monger. Unfortunately, that was true for some people, and now the lgbt community has gotten to make it look like it's true for everyone. Your friend is probably more comfortable Identifying himself with his sexuality than his faith, which is pretty sad.

Homosexuality's acceptance is just a natural result of the sexual revolution, which came from society's rejection of God, although that had happened long before the 60s.

The best thing you can do is explain what God is really like, versus what fundamentalist church's AND gay activists have led him to believe. Get him to believe that God is who He says He is, and in the validity of the Bible first. Be patient and let him learn what he wants on his own. And never stop praying for him.
 
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Goodbook

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I dont think people are so much born with it but been preyed on at birth, or they carrying some iniquity as a result of the sins of their parents. Or at a young age they cant remember.

Same sex attraction is difficult to overcome as most know it is absolutely wrong ie. You cant have male and male have a baby the same as female and female, it just wont work.
But the feelings of lust are very strong i suppose, just like opposite sex attraction.
 
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Goodbook

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I know people dont like to talk about demons on this forum but...lust is one of those demons cos no Godly person would want to live with this lustful feeling wether its to the same sex or opposite sex.

The only attraction thats actually real is for the one God wants you to marry and spend the rest of your life with..and in most cases, have children together and raise a family.
 
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dude99

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Share to him that Jesus loves him and is striving to reach out to him. Also state we are all sinners and Jesus gave up his life for him and for everyone. Plus Jesus can provide much more long term peace of mind and satisfaction than any other man out there.

So many gay people are hurting out there, and only Jesus can bring them true peace of mind.
 
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seashale76

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A) He was spoiling for a fight. B) He has decided that he's not your friend, not the other way around. C) Your job is to continue doing exactly what you told him you'd do, which is to pray for him. Never underestimate the efficacy of prayer. D) God guides people to Himself. E) I wouldn't pursue this individual any further unless he contacts you again.
 
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hedrick

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If someone you're friends with disagrees on homosexuality, that's a different situation from someone you haven't been in contact with who contacts you just about that issue. In the first case I'd try to find a way to continue being friends. In the second case there's probably not much hope. In either case continuing to argue on this topic is just going to make things worse. You've made your point clearly already. It sounds to me like you've got the second case.

Even liberals don't buy the kind of conspiracy theory on the NT that you say he holds. You're not likely to convince him by pointing him to conservative interpreters. There are good secular sources on the NT that would be better for this purpose.
 
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