how to deal with the world?

[koko081012]

So to give some insight... I was saved in 2008. My husband was Lutheran and insisted only going to a Lutheran church for a long time.. I felt out of place and awkward there.. Just a general feeling of it wasn't where I belonged. So fast forward till last year.. And we had gotten a new pastor and I convinced my husband to try a baptist church, he was saved and we were recently baptized together a few months ago...

That all being said.. I have been having a really really hard time lately with the smallest of things. Things I see on t.v. Just the commercials, or even in the T.V. Shows, where people are swearing, or saying the Lord's name in vain. Or even cartoons that have some violence or shows like Barbie.. I just can't stand them. Or shows that have aliens in them... We also had our girls in ballet and the immodesty of the dresses and some of the dances the older girls were doing just seemed like they were hinting at being provocative. And it just ugh.. It just grates at my skin. Other things get me too that may not get most Christians. Like.. Christmas time.. I have a hard time seeing past the coveting, and consumption and even if we give to charity or help out with things ect.. It still feels like I'm allowing my kids to covet toys for months then rewarding them for doing so. I feel a bit torn, like if I take everything away from them will end up hating me and God cuz they can't do any of the "fun" stuff..
My husband unwinds by watching T.V. I have a hard time watching it so I end up going to bed. He watches football and stuff, and sometimes it's not so much the shows themselves that bother me but the commercials and the messages they are sending. One of the commercials tonight was someone singing and saying "we can make time go back and you wouldn't have ever had that 2nd child" and poof the child coloring on the wall was gone, and the parents smiled. My husband laughed.. And I felt horrible... How is seeing those kinds of commercials and people thinking they are funny and laughing at it while their 2nd child is sitting here wondering why their parent would want them gone! Am I over thinking things? Am I being overly critical? Am I completely losing my mind? Sometimes I believe my husband thinks I'm taking things to far. He has come along way in the last year... So so so far. He is doing bible devotions with the kids almost nightly, and he is a good leader.. It's just these things that have most recently been driving me batty, and he seems to not see what I'm seeing. Iv been praying about it all of course.. But I'm still wondering is this normal? Am I the only one? Lol thanks.

 

[Goodbook]

Yes its normal, the holy spirit quickening you -
when you feel grieved its the holy spirit, judging or discerning the world, showing you the difference between unrighteousness and righteousness.

I had to stop watching tv. But its the best thing I did, because I got to spend more time with God. Maybe if you make a stand, your husband may follow suit, but don't force it. You can go to another room and say you need your quiet time.

 

[Boogeyman07]

Awesome. Totally normal. I'm happy for you, yeah like goodbook says it's the Holy Spirit.
It is tough though, I go through that a lot every single day it feels like... no one else thinks it's a big deal or notices, and even like you said they enjoy it. It used to make me kind of wonder sometimes 'am I too radical? what's going on here?'... but I know in my heart that I'm not, and Ive gotten past a lot of those 'too radical' thoughts. Its really hard for me to bite my tongue sometimes, and a lot of times I don't. I don't know why the conviction is stronger with some, I really don't. I even see a lot of it here on 'christian forums' .... it's crazy to me, and sad.

 

[koko081012]

Well it's comforting to know I'm not alone.. So how do you deal with it? I'm unsure of what to do.. Especially with Christmas.. Do I say no toys (my husband would absolutely go along with this but mostly because holidays are a huge stress and he doesn't like the traveling to all the families houses ect.) we have talked about just saying no Christmas.. And using the money we would normally use on toys ect. And taking a mini family vacation.. We do have friends who do not celebrate Christmas due to the history there so I know we would have some support but it's so difficult to take it away and not replace it with some thing.. I'm terrified of having the kids resent the faith.. And over resurrection Sunday we told the family... No Easter eggs, baskets, or candy. (I shared with my husband history behind those things and he agreed on the no Easter eggs and such) If you must get them a present.. Please make it something that will help them grow in the lord.. Like a devotional or a Christian board game, ect. We got a LOT of slack about that. And we were basically asked if we had joined a cult.. I can only imagine what we will go through once we tell them about Christmas... Is it taking it too far?! Sigh... We did quit the ballet and I found a Christian sports program that has Christian cheerleading team.. The outfits are conservative and the cheers are not insulting the other team ect. They cheer on all the players not just one team. However now my mind wonders.. If I tell them this is ok.. When they go to college will they want to continue?? And college cheerleading is def. not edifying to the Lord. For now we are going ahead with it. I told my husband it's like everything is going through this filter in my brain.. And it's like black and white almost.. That's sin, that's sin. That's righteous that's not. And my husband said, "well I hope you find a way to get over it." I don't think there is a way to "get over it". I know the lord convicts us all over different things.. And his convictions will not always match mine. It doesn't make it less frustrating as I do try to be a submissive wife and follow his lead. Anyway.... Thank you again! It's good to know others feel the same way.. I'm just wondering how to function as a "normal" person without pushing this too much onto kids and family.. Or how to do so in a way that's loving. Lately it's been a lot of ugh... "This is show is driving me batty I can't take it.. I need to leave the room" then I have guilt for letting the kids watch it. Then I have guilt for taking it away. Maybe I could try quietly walking away and taking the time to read my bible or offer to play a game with the kids or some other alternative... I don't know. I'm outta ideas. Lol

 

[PrettyboyAndy]

Well it's comforting to know I'm not alone.. So how do you deal with it? I'm unsure of what to do.. Especially with Christmas.. Do I say no toys (my husband would absolutely go along with this but mostly because holidays are a huge stress and he doesn't like the traveling to all the families houses ect.) we have talked about just saying no Christmas.. And using the money we would normally use on toys ect. And taking a mini family vacation.. We do have friends who do not celebrate Christmas due to the history there so I know we would have some support but it's so difficult to take it away and not replace it with some thing.. I'm terrified of having the kids resent the faith.. And over resurrection Sunday we told the family... No Easter eggs, baskets, or candy. (I shared with my husband history behind those things and he agreed on the no Easter eggs and such) If you must get them a present.. Please make it something that will help them grow in the lord.. Like a devotional or a Christian board game, ect. We got a LOT of slack about that. And we were basically asked if we had joined a cult.. I can only imagine what we will go through once we tell them about Christmas... Is it taking it too far?! Sigh... We did quit the ballet and I found a Christian sports program that has Christian cheerleading team.. The outfits are conservative and the cheers are not insulting the other team ect. They cheer on all the players not just one team. However now my mind wonders.. If I tell them this is ok.. When they go to college will they want to continue?? And college cheerleading is def. not edifying to the Lord. For now we are going ahead with it. I told my husband it's like everything is going through this filter in my brain.. And it's like black and white almost.. That's sin, that's sin. That's righteous that's not. And my husband said, "well I hope you find a way to get over it." I don't think there is a way to "get over it". I know the lord convicts us all over different things.. And his convictions will not always match mine. It doesn't make it less frustrating as I do try to be a submissive wife and follow his lead. Anyway.... Thank you again! It's good to know others feel the same way.. I'm just wondering how to function as a "normal" person without pushing this too much onto kids and family.. Or how to do so in a way that's loving. Lately it's been a lot of ugh... "This is show is driving me batty I can't take it.. I need to leave the room" then I have guilt for letting the kids watch it. Then I have guilt for taking it away. Maybe I could try quietly walking away and taking the time to read my bible or offer to play a game with the kids or some other alternative... I don't know. I'm outta ideas. Lol

This is sign of conviction and the Holy Spirit at work in bringing conformity to the image of Christ, beautiful posts.

Just try to bear fruit, stay close to God, and substitute some of your activities to honor God.

I admit I still play video games sometimes, and skip reading the Bible with my family, which is terrible, but try to be consistent.

 

[mikedsjr]

Koko, I commend you for your desire to please God. The challenge you face is a difficult one, but God didn't promise smooth sailing, did he.

I'm not the one to give advise, because I'm lenient to a conditional extent. I haven't always been this way. I was quite more to your stance. I'm not saying I was wrong for my stance at all. I know highly respectable Christians at all positions of the concerns you list. It quite alright, but also challenging not to condemn others. Love is so important and sometimes so easy to put to the side too. You sound like you just want to do what is right and I think that's great. Keep churning away. Praying for you.


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[twin1954]

The world will always be the world. We are in the world but not of the world. Part of the reason that such things that we see and are confronted with in the world bothers us is because we know that it is still in our hearts. The old man the flesh is still in us and is active seeking to control us. But sin shall not have dominion over a believer.

By all means guard your heart as much as you can but understand that the only thing that separates you from the world is the grace of God. They are lost and blind and can't help themselves so do whatever the Lord puts in your hands to do in order to see that the Gospel of Christ is preached to all the world. The Gospel is the only thing that is called the power of God unto salvation. Ask folks to come to church. Invite them as often as you can and then speak to them after the service. And remember that there but by the grace of God go I.

 

[lismore]

There is a lot of UnGodly stuff on TV, that's for sure. Recognizing this is a sign the Lord is speaking to you, IMO.

 

[koko081012]

Thank you all for your replies! I appreciate all of them. I don't normally see people as sinners or not sinners.. As we are all sinners.. So it's hard to condemn someone for having different sins then myself. Or different convictions of myself. I know a lot of very good Christians who love the Lord whole heartedly who love everything about Christmas. Or some, like my husband, who like to unwind to watch t.v. ....Often in the store or other places when I see someone being a generally angry person or see them as "wordly" (I'm not really sure if that's the right term to use I just can't seem to think of another term.) I often wonder what got them there.. What happened to them, what are their hurts? What are they dealing with? I'm generally a shy person so just walking up and talking to people is very very difficult to me. So I try to be "the light" with how I respond to and treat others, and how I live my life. there are many times I'm sure I fail at this.

My kiddos are fairly young and still very impressionable ( 7, 5, and 4). I find myself watching some of these cartoons they watch, and the messages they are sending even in the most subtle of ways. Like littlest pet shop aired a show where the main character was given a "fake" baby doll and the doll had batteries that could not be taken out, and had an 18yr life time. The baby cried like a real baby, looked like a real baby, and acted like a real baby. And she kept saying I don't have time for this thing I have to work 2 jobs, here dad you take care of it.. And the main characters father said.. No! I don't want that thing! ... I just feel like, if I allow them to watch it, then I'm saying this kind of behavior is ok behavior... sometimes it feels like allowing these things to be flashing through a screen on my television is basically saying, "come on in devil, have a seat!" I guess this where my husband may believe I'm over thinking things, and over analyzing it all. So maybe the question is, how to deal with my husband not having the same convictions of myself, especially when the kiddos are involved. During the day the t.v. Is mostly off. And normally doesn't come on till after the kids are in bed, but there are a lot of times too that this doesn't happen. And the weekends it comes on a lot. It's not every show... But I would say a good majority of them. We did get pureflix on the roku, my hopes were that they would watch it, instead of stuff they are finding on t.v. Or Netflix.. But they gravitate to the shows that seem to bother me most. And often don't turn pureflix on. Also I feel a little lost on how do we explain to family some who are Christians, that we really don't wNt to participate in the holiday anymore.. Without making them feel condemned because we don't want to do that. We have asked in years past they not buy the kids gifts, and did so anyway against our wishes. We have been told several times that they are too young to know about Santa and that they feel bad for our kids that they didn't get to believe in the "magic of Christmas" where does the "magic" of Christmas come from exactly? And who or what is the "Christmas spirit?" And Santa is often referred to as the "father of Christmas" we have one father and he is in heaven.. And if Christmas is about Christ.. Shouldnt he be the father of "Christ"mas? And Jesus asked us to remember him by the breaking of bread.. I'm sorry I don't mean to start any kind of theological debate on the subject... I just don't know how to explain myself to others without sounding condemning. Thanks again!

 

[Goodbook]

Sounds like a tough thing you going through at the moment seperating yourself from the world, but harder as you a mum with family.

Well with children I would just say the truth about christmas and so once the children know they dont have to be deceived like other children are about santa etc! You can still give them gifts if you choose to on that day but they dont have to be toys or idols.

I think children are generally happy with a meal with all the family. As a child I grew up with idolatry all around me and it was my sister, not my parents who organised christmas in order to get the best gifts. She got it from tv and other people telling her thats what to do. I do find its a crazy time of year and dont enjoy the hard sell and pressure on parents, even though im not a parent myself (yet) its important to set a LOVING example and also tell your children the truth.

My sister, she would wrap up gifts to give to herself! And then she told us we had to buy gifts for everyone, and told us we had to want things to open on the day. Well what child has enough money to buy gifts for everyone...? Its the adults who are meant to do that, not the children. Then she told us to write lists and ask dad to buy it for us. But we werent allowed to tell anyone else what we bought. Yea it was crazy. This went on every year and I thought every christmas i had to buy gifts for everyone. It became all about the gifts and who got the most expensive ones. Ugh.

 

[Goodbook]

You cant stop people wanting to give gifts to your children but just say its from them, not santa. And they can open them when they like, they dont have to wait for a certain day.

I think as long as the children say thankyou to the giver its fine, but they can do what they like with the gift and are not obligated to keep it or give anything in return.

I know poor parents just feel overhwhelmed with christmas and the obligation to give, but the best present and most valuable of all is His presence. If your children understand this then they wont be swayed so much by the world. If many of your friends are still trapped in worldly ways you dont have to be the same. I know some parents get into debt over christmas. Well you are the parent and you decide what to spend money on, if you are wealthy and want to give gifts to poor children who are orphaned which is what the origninal saint nicholas did then thats your choice.

 

[koko081012]

Your absolutely right about being a loving example to them, and to non saved family. We have gotten a lot of judgement in the last few months.. Our choice to homeschool, the Easter stuff, ect. I suppose it should all come as no surprise, as the bible tells us this will happen, and that families will be divided. i guess I will continue in prayer on how to respond lovingly to these things, and trust the Lord will give us answers. Thank you for your time and guidance! It helped me a lot to be able to write out my thoughts!!

 

[PrettyboyAndy]

Thanks for this post, it convicted me.

I realized most important is salvation, conformity to the image of Christ, and bearing good fruit. And being worldly and living like the world is being an enemy of God.

Therefore I urge you, brothers, on account of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1-2

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4

 

[miamited]

Hi koko,

Looks like you've been getting some pretty solid responses. Jesus spoke of loved ones in our own families being our enemies. He also told us that the world would hate us.

I believe the reason for Jesus warning us of these things is because of what you've been experiencing. When we are born again our entire worldview changes and, as Jesus also told us, the Holy Spirit begins to convict us of sin and righteousness.

As someone above said, it can be tough. I, like you, have found since being born again that a lot of things I might have watched previous to that experience and a lot of things that I've participated in bring me under conviction now that it isn't something I should be watching or doing. It can be tough.

God bless you.
In Christ, Ted

 

[King Mob]

There is a lot of UnGodly stuff on TV, that's for sure. Recognizing this is a sign the Lord is speaking to you, IMO.

Ken!! Songs of Praise is a nightmare!!!!!!!

 

[lismore]

Ken!! Songs of Praise is a nightmare!!!!!!!

Don't think I've ever watched it. But having a relative who is a gambling addict, the 'online casino'/ phone betting adverts and programmes on TV are very bad IMO. The TV company must be getting a share from them to allow it.

 

[SimplyDawn]

So to give some insight... I was saved in 2008. My husband was Lutheran and insisted only going to a Lutheran church for a long time.. I felt out of place and awkward there.. Just a general feeling of it wasn't where I belonged. So fast forward till last year.. And we had gotten a new pastor and I convinced my husband to try a baptist church, he was saved and we were recently baptized together a few months ago...

That all being said.. I have been having a really really hard time lately with the smallest of things. Things I see on t.v. Just the commercials, or even in the T.V. Shows, where people are swearing, or saying the Lord's name in vain. Or even cartoons that have some violence or shows like Barbie.. I just can't stand them. Or shows that have aliens in them... We also had our girls in ballet and the immodesty of the dresses and some of the dances the older girls were doing just seemed like they were hinting at being provocative. And it just ugh.. It just grates at my skin. Other things get me too that may not get most Christians. Like.. Christmas time.. I have a hard time seeing past the coveting, and consumption and even if we give to charity or help out with things ect.. It still feels like I'm allowing my kids to covet toys for months then rewarding them for doing so. I feel a bit torn, like if I take everything away from them will end up hating me and God cuz they can't do any of the "fun" stuff..
My husband unwinds by watching T.V. I have a hard time watching it so I end up going to bed. He watches football and stuff, and sometimes it's not so much the shows themselves that bother me but the commercials and the messages they are sending. One of the commercials tonight was someone singing and saying "we can make time go back and you wouldn't have ever had that 2nd child" and poof the child coloring on the wall was gone, and the parents smiled. My husband laughed.. And I felt horrible... How is seeing those kinds of commercials and people thinking they are funny and laughing at it while their 2nd child is sitting here wondering why their parent would want them gone! Am I over thinking things? Am I being overly critical? Am I completely losing my mind? Sometimes I believe my husband thinks I'm taking things to far. He has come along way in the last year... So so so far. He is doing bible devotions with the kids almost nightly, and he is a good leader.. It's just these things that have most recently been driving me batty, and he seems to not see what I'm seeing. Iv been praying about it all of course.. But I'm still wondering is this normal? Am I the only one? Lol thanks.

I love this post because it echoes my views since I've been saved. Movies and TV shows I use to like, leave me unsettled. The list of things that no longer seem acceptable, are like yours. I spoke in confidence to a young female pastor at our church and she smiled sweetly and said, "Your eyes are open now. You see what is good and pure, and what is worldly and unacceptable now."

Nice to know we aren't losing our minds, isn't it?

 

[koko081012]

I recently went to a homeschool convention in my area. I love them!! They have TONS of speakers, like ken ham from the creation museum and just missionaries who have wrote books, some Christian bloggers. Ect. I always leave feeling convicted. This year the common thread was there for me was that there are blessings in obedience... Not that we should obey just to get the blessings, nor is it.. Oh your not saved unless you do this list of things.. But I came back just being sick of walking in disobedience.. I know there are things the lord has called me to do.. That I am not doing out of fear of man. Like mentioned above Christmas.. I just started to pray over the conversation we would have with the kids about it, and asked for prayer from a friend who was in this place last year, and took that step of faith and the talk went wonderful. Apparently the kids see all the same things we do... And they were I. Agreeance. Which I did not see coming. We went over the 10 commandments with them, and coveting and idols ect.. There are a few other things.. Not related to t.v. I know the lord has called me to do. That I haven't been doing also... Like head covering and wearing skirts/dresses. I know there's lots of controversy over those topics which I'm not trying to start.. I'm just trying to walk in obedience with the things the lord has specifically put on my heart. Iv been not doing them out of fear of judgement from fellow church family, or family in general. So iv been covering my head and we had the talk with the kiddos, and I'm working on the skirts thing still.. Baby steps lol. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. So I just want to encourage anyone who reads this.. If there is something the Lord has laid on your heart to do. And you haven't been doing it for some reason or another.. Just take that first step of faith, trust in the lord and he will do the rest.

 

[shakewell]

Like.. Christmas time.. I have a hard time seeing past the coveting, and consumption and even if we give to charity or help out with things ect.. It still feels like I'm allowing my kids to covet toys for months then rewarding them for doing so.

Well, the Bible says "covet earnestly the best gifts". A little out of context, huh?

I did a KJV word search on "covet*" and 1 Cor. 12:31 & 14:39 were the only 2 places I could find where coveting didn't have a negative meaning. After looking at the 39 verses that contain a form of the word, I think that coveting (desiring) toys is OK as long as they're not desiring their neighbor's toys or the wrong kinds of toys.

Here are a couple verses that might set your mind at ease:

Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; 1 Tim 6:17

Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion. Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this is the gift of God. Ecc 5:18,19

Since your 4 year old is a little too young to rejoice in his own labor, maybe he can rejoice in mom's & dad's labor. ;-)

 

[DawnStar]

koko081012 do you mind if I ask what church you attend?