How do you handle it when your friend's virgin fiancee says God made her pregnant?

[LadyOfMystery]

Mod Hat On

Please stay on topic, if you don't like the thread don't post in it. Including off topic pictures. Thanks.

Mod Hat Off

 

[kevlite2020]

This just happened to my best friend. I'm supposed to be his best man at his wedding on July 4th but his fiancee who is hot but not too smart just dropped this bomb on him. He says they have not done anything physical together beyond kissing so God must be the father. I feel like slapping him but I'm sort of stunned right now at it all. How should I handle this delicate situation? They are both Christians so is it possible she is telling the truth?

First off, the wedding is on July 4th, a national holiday filled with fireworks... Maybe your friend is into big loud explosions and crazy things like this. So he could be making this up to cause some "fireworks" in his own life...

Second, he's dating a girl that is hot but not too smart. He obviously chose her so he could get away with his fiery, manipulative, lying ways. He could fool her into getting pregnant without realizing he did it.

Third, he's obviously lying about the just kissing part. Something happened. How he kept the girl from knowing it was happening is a mystery to me, but with her being so dumb, he somehow found a way.

Fourth, this is obviously a cleverly manipulated ploy to make sure he doesn't have to pay child support once they inevitably divorce. I guess you have to give him credit for planning ahead of time.

How should you handle this? Go back to point one. Thrill your friend with fireworks. I recommend bottle rockets because they can be aimed quite well and have deadly accuracy. Make sure you get him in an open field when he is not expecting it. Then shoot off fireworks and give him the kind of show he wants!

 

[SweetDee]

Sorry Miss. Jennie! I'll behave now

Unsubscribing

 

[Verve]

Ok, seriously. Is she sure she's pregnant and it's not a hysterical pregnancy?

False pregnancy in humans may sometimes be purely psychological. It is generally estimated that false pregnancy is caused due to changes in the endocrine system of the body, leading to the secretion of hormones which translate into physical changes similar to those during pregnancy. The underlying cause is often mental.

If she hasn't had an ultrasound confirm it she may be having some other kind of physical or mental problem.

 

[Im_A]

To respect the rules here will be my official answer:
I would not care about delicacy and tell my friend that she is cheating on him or a lunatic or looking at him to be the baby's dad instead of God being dad and staying alone and be committed to her husband so obviously she is nothing but manipulative, a lunatic and a liar and not good with commitment if her statement was true and to stay far away and do as Iron Maiden says, "Run to the Hills".

Now of course this would take some time to come to.

 

[SneakerPimp53]

Maybe she sat down in a lawn chair right after he had just pleasured himself. Could a turkey baster be involved?

 

[penNpaper]

I would pray this ...

Agreed with him.

Yeah...I got no words for this. I'm sorry but yeah...

God Bless,
Drew

 

[twinserk]

This just happened to my best friend. I'm supposed to be his best man at his wedding on July 4th but his fiancee who is hot but not too smart just dropped this bomb on him. He says they have not done anything physical together beyond kissing so God must be the father. I feel like slapping him but I'm sort of stunned right now at it all. How should I handle this delicate situation? They are both Christians so is it possible she is telling the truth?

i'd do just what your thinkin and slap him to his senses.

 

[MacFall]

If this is actually true (which I find highly unlikely, but whatever), I would counsel him to put the wedding on hold until her pregnancy is either confirmed or repudiated medically. If she's not pregnant, she's got clear psychological (and doctrinal) issues. If she is, then she cheated on him, and is either lying her face off or quite mad. What he should do in either case is up to him. I don't know her well enough to judge.

 

[Gabe7]

If this is actually true (which I find highly unlikely, but whatever), I would counsel him to put the wedding on hold until her pregnancy is either confirmed or repudiated medically. If she's not pregnant, she's got clear psychological (and doctrinal) issues. If she is, then she cheated on him, and is either lying her face off or quite mad. What he should do in either case is up to him. I don't know her well enough to judge.

Here is what my friend said when I all but lost it about this:

'How do we know God didn't plan for Jesus to have a brother? Should we be so quick to dismiss this claim?' Don't ask me why he said brother. Maybe if it was God he wants one of each.

My friend believes in miracles and speaking in tongues and all that type of thing and his fiancee seems sincere but I can't believe God did it. I just can't. They said she did several tests to confirm she is pregnant. He denies they were physically close enough for it to be his kid. No dry humping or anything like that he said.

 

[kevlite2020]

Here is what my friend said when I all but lost it about this:

'How do we know God didn't plan for Jesus to have a brother? Should we be so quick to dismiss this claim?' Don't ask me why he said brother. Maybe if it was God he wants one of each.

My friend believes in miracles and speaking in tongues and all that type of thing and his fiancee seems sincere but I can't believe God did it. I just can't. They said she did several tests to confirm she is pregnant. He denies they were physically close enough for it to be his kid. No dry humping or anything like that he said.

pic is related: dude is being deceived?

 

[Verve]

She also could be the victim of a traumatic sexual assault and is blacking over it in her head? In her wounded psyche she could have convinced herself that this is obviously a gift from heaven to protect her from having to deal with reality.

This concept has lower odds of happening than the hysterical pregnancy, but can happen.
The human mind is a strange strange thing.

 

[MacFall]

She also could be the victim of a traumatic sexual assault and is blacking over it in her head? In her wounded psyche she could have convinced herself that this is obviously a gift from heaven to protect her from having to deal with reality.

That possibility seems extremely remote. Religious hysteria is probably more common than rape. And deceit is more common than either. Yet, it is possible - which is why I withhold judgment on the matter of what he ought to do about her.

 

[leothelioness]

Oh, boy, these trolls.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

First off, the wedding is on July 4th, a national holiday filled with fireworks... Maybe your friend is into big loud explosions and crazy things like this. So he could be making this up to cause some "fireworks" in his own life...

Second, he's dating a girl that is hot but not too smart. He obviously chose her so he could get away with his fiery, manipulative, lying ways. He could fool her into getting pregnant without realizing he did it.

Third, he's obviously lying about the just kissing part. Something happened. How he kept the girl from knowing it was happening is a mystery to me, but with her being so dumb, he somehow found a way.

Fourth, this is obviously a cleverly manipulated ploy to make sure he doesn't have to pay child support once they inevitably divorce. I guess you have to give him credit for planning ahead of time.

How should you handle this? Go back to point one. Thrill your friend with fireworks. I recommend bottle rockets because they can be aimed quite well and have deadly accuracy. Make sure you get him in an open field when he is not expecting it. Then shoot off fireworks and give him the kind of show he wants!

Um...Kev, you totally made my night with this.

Oookaaay...is it just me, or does this 'friend' sound like the insane one? Look, I'm not trying to hurt feelings here, but uh...if this guy truly believes that this chick has been impregnated by God, then he needs his head examined and I think you, Gabe, need to tell him so (that is, if he is indeed a hardcore believer in such miracles and the chances of him listening to truthful reasoning is one in a million).

My humble opinion on all this?...They went 'too far', she's obviously too stupid to understand that a little can go a long way (that includes sex), he knows they went too far and is playing The Dumb Game by backing up her claims of being impregnated by God.

"There's something rotten in the state of Denmark" here, people. Everything about this screams bad news. The guy needs some serious Christian counseling, the girl needs to shape up and get a brain in her head, the wedding needs to be called off, and as for the fireworks...well, set 'em off. It'll be the celebration in the prevention of a doomed marriage.

 

[kevlite2020]

"There's something rotten in the state of Denmark"

(pic related: this situation is suspicious)

 

[ks777]

All the pictures posted about how bad the thread is just made it awesome!

 

[broken_one]

This just happened to my best friend. I'm supposed to be his best man at his wedding on July 4th but his fiancee who is hot but not too smart just dropped this bomb on him. He says they have not done anything physical together beyond kissing so God must be the father. I feel like slapping him but I'm sort of stunned right now at it all. How should I handle this delicate situation? They are both Christians so is it possible she is telling the truth?

 

[kevlite2020]

this is what you should say to your friend:

(pic related, his friend does not make sense)