How do I protect myself from the enemy in this house?

[zippy2]

No, it's not games.

She wants us to do it right this time around. We were married after only nine months of knowing each other. I never asked her dad if she can marry me, nor were her family invited to the wedding.

She wants us to do all these things this time around. She wants to do things right from the start.

Getting a divorce is not 'getting it right' Bro. It is an end.

 

[Boidae]

Getting a divorce is not 'getting it right' Bro. It is an end.

Are there not many people who divorce and then reconciliation happens?

Divorce doesn't have to mean the end.

 

[Yeshuas_My_Freedom]

Then stay marrie

No, it's not games.

She wants us to do it right this time around. We were married after only nine months of knowing each other. I never asked her dad if she can marry me, nor were her family invited to the wedding.

She wants us to do all these things this time around. She wants to do things right from the start.

Then stay married and date. And then arrive at that point where you , if you, want to get married and renew your vows to each other. Ask her dad, invite the family.

 

[zippy2]

No, it's not games.

She wants us to do it right this time around. We were married after only nine months of knowing each other. I never asked her dad if she can marry me, nor were her family invited to the wedding.

She wants us to do all these things this time around. She wants to do things right from the start.

What if you and your wife Renewed your vows to each other? Would she be receptive to that? It would be just like a wedding and you could ask for her hand like your should have before. How long have you two been married?

 

[Yeshuas_My_Freedom]

Getting a divorce is not 'getting it right' Bro. It is an end.

It is. And scripture doesn't tell us we can use white out on what went wrong in the marriage, divorce, and have a do-over.

 

[Boidae]

What if you and your wife Renewed your vows to each other? Would she be receptive to that? It would be just like a wedding and you could ask for her hand like your should have before. How long have you two been married?

Will be six years in January.

She is not receptive to renewing our vows. She wants to go through the divorce and to be honest, with the way my mother is, it would be better to do it the way we're doing it.

 

[zippy2]

Will be six years in January.

She is not receptive to renewing our vows. She wants to go through the divorce and to be honest, with the way my mother is, it would be better to do it the way we're doing it.

Who would it be 'better' for? I don't know what to tell you. She wants a divorce but she doesn't want to let you go. That is not a good thing, Brother. Ever hear of 'wants her cake and eat it too'? She needs to make up her mind. Very strange deal if you ask me. I am sorry you are going through this.

 

[Odetta]

I don't understand why you have to go through the divorce if you two have full intentions of getting married to each other again. I'm sorry your wife didn't have the wedding she wanted, and I'm sure she's seeing doing things this way as symbolic. But it's causing a whole lot of problems and expense that will harm your marriage going forward. If you two want symbolism, do a vow renewal.

 

[Boidae]

I don't understand why you have to go through the divorce if you two have full intentions of getting married to each other again. I'm sorry your wife didn't have the wedding she wanted, and I'm sure she's seeing doing things this way as symbolic. But it's causing a whole lot of problems and expense that will harm your marriage going forward. If you two want symbolism, do a vow renewal.

All I know is that she said this is the way it has to be.

I will do what she wants if it will make her happy. That is the major reason why she is divorcing me in the first place. So if it makes her happy, I am going to do it.

Now, I don't need help with my marriage, I need help with my mother. lets stick to that, okay?

 

[Yeshuas_My_Freedom]

Will be six years in January.

She is not receptive to renewing our vows. She wants to go through the divorce and to be honest, with the way my mother is, it would be better to do it the way we're doing it.

You see your mother as the enemy. And you're going to do what would also make your mom happy because it's easier than putting up with her behavior?
A marriage is two people, not three.
Your mother is acting like this and wants to see you get the divorce? How do you think she's going to behave when you remarry the woman she wants you to divorce?

Everything your wife wants to do is the same thing that would be done if you stayed married. She wants to divorce. What's that actually accomplish? When she wants to date you and marry you again?

Because when you get remarried you're renewing your vows. It's not a new marriage. Because you'll be marrying each other again. That's what renewing vows is.

Something about this story doesn't ring true. Your wife sounds spoiled and use to getting her way. Because this is games and it makes no sense. What broke you apart now isn't going to be there when you remarry?

 

[Boidae]

[QUOTE="Yeshuas_My_Freedom, post: 68755698, member: 381376"

Something about this story doesn't ring true. Your wife sounds spoiled and use to getting her way. Because this is games and it makes no sense. What broke you apart now isn't going to be there when you remarry?[/QUOTE]

I can tell you that my wife is not spoiled, if anything that would be me as I was an only child.

As for what broke us apart, no, it will not be there because I am changing myself and am learning how to make her happy.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

Jas 3:13-18 KJV
(13) Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
(14) But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
(15) This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
(16) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
(17) But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
(18) And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

you have only one enemy, the devil; your Mom is not your enemy (she carried you in her body as you formed from a cell into a baby - you are flesh of her flesh - she will never be your enemy). i'm not saying that she's right or wrong, just that she's amazing to let you live with her at your age, and your step-dad is awesome to buy you a truck on his credit card (albeit he is unwise to secure credit for another adult, especially with a credit card company - Pro 17:18, GNB translation). i'm stunned that, given your financial condition, your wife wants a divorce so she can 'do things right from the start' - perfection is an unrealistic goal for people in flesh bodies, and it doesn't sound like either of you can afford to fund this second chance at wedding perfection.

no matter what brought you to this point, as a 41 year old adult it is ultimately your responsibility to support yourself; if you weren't living with your Mom, you wouldn't be suffering from continuous strife with her. i've lived in some pretty rough places at times in my life; one place was so mouse infested that i was removing dead mice from the traps as fast as i could set them and eventually just simply had to live with them (i didn't stay there long!); another time i rented a room in a small 1-bathroom house with two other people that was between the local drug dealer's house and the vacant lot where the drug addicts passed out (didn't stay there long either); and i've slept in my car a few times and took sink-baths in public restrooms too - so the reason you're living with your Mom is not because you don't have any other alternative; people actually live under bridges in this country.

realize that you aren't the only one suffering strife - your Mom is suffering just as much as you are; have some respect and compassion for her and find somewhere else to live so she can get some relief from the strife opportunity that you have caused her by moving in with her as you deal with your marriage and employment challenges - even if you have to rent a room you find revolting from someone or go to a homeless shelter - she didn't force you to marry your wife, nor did she force you to make the decisions that have led you to this place of poverty in your life; as a 41 year-old adult, none of your woes are her fault.

Pro 17:1 KJV
(1) Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.

Pro 17:14 KJV
(14) The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

Pro 17:14 GNB
(14) The start of an argument is like the first break in a dam; stop it before it goes any further.


God knows exactly how to take care of all your challenges; seek His wisdom and follow His leading and in a short while this will all be behind you. this will help:

http://www.awmi.net/audio/audio-teachings/#/awm_1001a_panic.mp3

 

[Boidae]

Jas 3:13-18 KJV
(13) Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
(14) But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
(15) This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
(16) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
(17) But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
(18) And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

you have only one enemy, the devil; your Mom is not your enemy (she carried you in her body as you formed from a cell into a baby - you are flesh of her flesh - she will never be your enemy). i'm not saying that she's right or wrong, just that she's amazing to let you live with her at your age, and your step-dad is awesome to buy you a truck on his credit card (albeit he is unwise to secure credit for another adult, especially with a credit card company - Pro 17:18, GNB translation). i'm stunned that, given your financial condition, your wife wants a divorce so she can 'do things right from the start' - perfection is an unrealistic goal for people in flesh bodies, and it doesn't sound like either of you can afford to fund this second chance at wedding perfection.

no matter what brought you to this point, as a 41 year old adult it is ultimately your responsibility to support yourself; if you weren't living with your Mom, you wouldn't be suffering from continuous strife with her. i've lived in some pretty rough places at times in my life; one place was so mouse infested that i was removing dead mice from the traps as fast as i could set them and eventually just simply had to live with them (i didn't stay there long!); another time i rented a room in a small 1-bathroom house with two other people that was between the local drug dealer's house and the vacant lot where the drug addicts passed out (didn't stay there long either); and i've slept in my car a few times and took sink-baths in public restrooms too - so the reason you're living with your Mom is not because you don't have any other alternative; people actually live under bridges in this country.

realize that you aren't the only one suffering strife - your Mom is suffering just as much as you are; have some respect and compassion for her and find somewhere else to live so she can get some relief from the strife opportunity that you have caused her by moving in with her as you deal with your marriage and employment challenges - even if you have to rent a room you find revolting from someone or go to a homeless shelter - she didn't force you to marry your wife, nor did she force you to make the decisions that have led you to this place of poverty in your life; as a 41 year-old adult, none of your woes are her fault.

Pro 17:1 KJV
(1) Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.

Pro 17:14 KJV
(14) The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

Pro 17:14 GNB
(14) The start of an argument is like the first break in a dam; stop it before it goes any further.


God knows exactly how to take care of all your challenges; seek His wisdom and follow His leading and in a short while this will all be behind you. this will help:

http://www.awmi.net/audio/audio-teachings/#/awm_1001a_panic.mp3

Thanks, but no thanks on your advice. Living in a homeless shelter will only harm me more, not help in the least.

I will however walk in love with my mom as we are called to do with all people.

Oh and please, no more from Andrew Wommack. I do not listen to his teaching and never will. He is a word of faith preacher and I do not listen to word of faith preachers.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

Thanks, but no thanks on your advice. Living in a homeless shelter will only harm me more, not help in the least.

I will however walk in love with my mom as we are called to do with all people.

Oh and please, no more from Andrew Wommack. I do not listen to his teaching and never will. He is a word of faith preacher and I do not listen to word of faith preachers.

Joh 15:12-13 KJV
(12) This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
(13) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

1Co 13:1-13 GNB
(1) I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.
(2) I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains---but if I have no love, I am nothing.
(3) I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned ---but if I have no love, this does me no good.
(4) Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud;
(5) love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs;
(6) love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.
(7) Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.
(8) Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass.
(9) For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial;
(10) but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.
(11) When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways.
(12) What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete---as complete as God's knowledge of me.
(13) Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.

the teaching i recommended was on John 14-16, which recounts Jesus' last instructions to His disciples before He went to the cross; His disciples were about to face the greatest crisis of their lives, and His words apply to every crisis we might face today as well - if you don't like Andrew, then go to the Source.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I feel for you and the situation. I've found that sometimes if you live with someone, they kind of feel empowered by it and take advantage of that fact, especially (sadly) parents. Sorry you're going through this. Not sure how else to advise but prayer and ignore the best you can.

 

[mytel]

This is a tough situation that you are in. I would say just go to God with all you heart in prayer, and trust in Him with your situation. I will pray for you.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Boidae. A Christian`s strong weapon is Love, fight with love and compassion. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus gives us good advice. " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it, love thy neighbour as thyself." On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. Ask Jesus in prayer, then find the right moment and explain to your Mother your whole situation, always remembering to ask with love and understanding. If your Mother does not see your point, ask her ( with loving and kind words) if there might be a better way and she knows of it: always with love and kind words.
God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters. Remember when Jesus is asked in Luke 10: 25-28:
" Master, what must I do to have eternal life?" Jesus answered: in Matthew 22: 35-40: we are told: " Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, also: love thy neighbour as you love thyself. DO THIS AND YOU SHALL LIVE. Talk things over with your Mother, ask her in love, and trust Jesus to lead you the right way. Keep asking and thanking God in prayer, and trust Jesus to lead you the right way. I say this with love, Boidea.
Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[BFine]

Are there not many people who divorce and then reconciliation happens?

Divorce doesn't have to mean the end.

*I went through this with my friend in North Carolina...she and her husband divorced and reconciled several
years later.
They divorced this year.

You see, the problem there was...you can't pretend things will be better if you don't resolve the "issues".
They did the "let's forget the past and start all over with a clean slate," that don't work because the old "issues" weren't dealt with.

As for your living situation with mom... you need
to connect with some prayer partners and have
regular fellowship with mature believers.
Spiritual support is so needed.

Your mom has rules... for now it's submit time
...unless you can find shelter elsewhere.
Working so many jobs that takes you out of the
home...If you need more out a break...hang out
at a coffee shop and read your bible... you can do
the same at Barnes and Noble etc. I use to hang out
in the food court at the mall. Volunteer... work on
making friends with people at church etc...
Advertise or talk with your minister about locating
a live-in type job... caregiving...being a security guy
or something....

 

[sunsurfkdt]

Hmmm sounds similar to my younger brothers problem. They quit living together for a break from eachother...my brother moved back in with us...I still live with my parents for now, and but sometimes he would ask my dad if she could sleep over, and hed be like absolutely not. Saying negative things. Probably even more strain for their marriage. Coz I'm sure she knew my dad said no. So then maybe she was upset by that. But anyway, it was hard for my brother, bc what could he do? My dad wouldn't allow her inside, and when she did come inside, once or twice, he'd go sit in his bedroom. Uncomfortable to say the least. Coz shed ask where he was...and Wed be like oh he's showering...well she might stay for an hour...and no one showers that long ...anyway. If I had been baptized in the Holy Ghost at that time, it may have been better. They did get divorced, but I know my brother loves her still, they both have pictures of each other on their fbs. And, she got him a Christmas present this year which was very sweet of her. I am praying for them to get back together. Especially since they have a 3 yr old. And I know I am praying G-ds will. And so I'm believing for an answer. So I just wanted to say something similar happened. My advice tho, keep parents out of the loop completely...you don't need anger or extra stress thrown in the mix. I wouldn't tell anyone anything.

 

[Mister_Al]

Go to God and tell Him that you don't know what to do. Ask Him to help you and then get out of His way.

Alan