Horrible horrible unwanted thoughts and frustration

[Catherineanne]

1. Hi guys I've been really struggling with unwanted blasphemous thoughts about God and it is making me so unhappy. I try so hard to ignore these thoughts but I feel like God is forcing me to confess and I really don't want too because it's very frustrating. For example if I'm eating or listening to music I will have to stop what I'm doing and go and confess. For
   Some reason it makes me so mad at God because I also have horrible death thoughts and horrible thoughts about harm so I feel like if it don't count mess God is going to punish me and make it come true or make it be "part of his will" I'm so angry with great God sometimes and I know it's not right. I feel like I have no relationship with him and I blame him for every frustrating thing that happens or has happend in my life. I feel like I'm restricted when it comes to music like when I listening to music I will get an unwanted blasphemous thought like calling god "stupid" or "serpent" because I feel so guilty for listening to the music with swear words or sexual lyrics.I just feel guilty and it makes me so upset and angry with God even more. I've really thought at one point that God was ruining my life because when I sin and feel guilty I have thoughts horrible thoughts of God threatening me with death thoughts and saying he will punish me if I don't stop which makes me angry with God and then I have the unswayed blasphemous thoughts. I have a lot of anxiety and
   I have this fear that god will kill me or
   Let something horrible happen to me and makes me angry at him and when in angry I feel he will
   Make it happen. I feel like I have no peace and I can't do anything because Its "sin" and also the unwanted thoughts cause me frustration. Please someone help me I don't know why I'm so angry with God I
   Really hate confessing because it causes me frustrating and puts me off praying. I also
   Fantasise about being someone else and I
   Don't know I do this, I think very sexually about being beautiful people and I know
   It's wrong. Is imagining to be someone else wrong
   Someone really beautiful? I'm happy with the I look but injudt really enjoy it and I think it's weird. Music helps to bring these imaginations to life and thats when I get the unwanted blasphemous thoughts which make me angry because I feel guilty and feel
   Like I must confess I really really hate confessing it makes me frustrated. Please please help me someone..

That level of unwanted intrusive thoughts is not right; I would talk to your doctor about it, if I were you. The sooner it is addressed the better.

After that, I would also talk to your minister, if you have one, for reassurance that you do not need to confess in this way. Catholics have a term for this; scrupulosity. We only have to confess actual sins, not every thought that comes into our minds.

I think the combination of doctor and minister will help you to sort this one out. I wish you well.

 

[Catherineanne]

So God does not want to harm me or punish me? Thank you so much God bless

Imagine a sweet little newborn baby asleep in a crib, all soft and warm, and wrapped in a blanket. Can you imagine wanting to harm or punish that sweet baby? I think few of us could ever imagine such a thing.

Our feelings of protection and love towards the most helpless child are a pale reflection of how the Lord feels towards us, his children. No, he certainly does not want to harm us.

 

[tturt]

We're to take every thought captive (II Cor 10:5) and renew our minds with His Word (Rom 12:2). So when the bad thoughts come, encourage you to replace them immediately with Scriptures that are meaningful to you such as:
- Yahweh loves you with an everlasting love (John 3:16-17, Jer 31)
-"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer 29:11).
-"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth (3 John 1:2)
-Yahweh thinks about you more than the grains of sand (Psa 139:17-18),
-"Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, (II Thess 2:16)."
- "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psa 27:1

 

[Catherineanne]

We're to take every thought captive (II Cor 10:5) and renew our minds with His Word (Rom 12:2). So when the bad thoughts come, encourage you to replace them immediately with Scriptures that are meaningful to you such as:
- Yahweh loves you with an everlasting love (John 3:16-17, Jer 31)
-"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer 29:11).
-"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth (3 John 1:2)
-Yahweh thinks about you more than the grains of sand (Psa 139:17-18),
-"Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, (II Thess 2:16)."
- "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psa 27:1

Good grief.

Once again, this is fine for people without a recognised medical condition but will not work if they are unwell. In that case a combination of proper medical attention and prayer is needed.

Would you tell someone with cancer to replace the bad cells by reading Scripture?

 

[pinkjess]

Sweetie, this really sounds like an OCD thing. It's a real disorder and I have it too, but slowly I am getting better with it. This may not even be a spiritual issue, but a mental one. Please do not hesitate to ask for help with it. These thoughts are not your fault.

 

[pinkjess]

Good grief.

Once again, this is fine for people without a recognised medical condition but will not work if they are unwell. In that case a combination of proper medical attention and prayer is needed.

Would you tell someone with cancer to replace the bad cells by reading Scripture?

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Catherineanne]

Sweetie, this really sounds like an OCD thing. It's a real disorder and I have it too, but slowly I am getting better with it. This may not even be a spiritual issue, but a mental one. Please do not hesitate to ask for help with it. These thoughts are not your fault.

That was my thought as well, but I hesitated to name the condition because I don't know the finer details of what it is like.

But certainly suggestions that we can just will this away by whatever means are misguided at best, and potentially very harmful.

 

[pinkjess]

Exactly. Victoryismine, you really need to learn about scrupulosity and realize that the thoughts you are getting, as real and scary as they seem, are not intentionally coming from you. This is not the real you. God knows that. He does not want you to suffer in this way. I know because I went through the same thing when I was a teenager. I would get horrible thoughts towards the Holy Spirit and thought I had lost my salvation and condemned myself. I would suffer from horrible anxiety and dread every single day. It was a literal hell living this way and now I suffer mild health issues from the constant stress all of that brought upon me, and I am only 22 years old. This stress is not good for you, not mentally and definitely not physically. You are worn out. If you think you can muster the strength, and if you agree that this may be your problem, think about reaching out for help with this. If you don't think you can do that, you owe it to yourself to research OCD religious thoughts and scrupuloisty and learn that these thoughts are not you, but due to faulty wiring and an anxiety issue. The more you get fired up over this, the stronger the thoughts will get and the harder you will be hit by them. OCD can be helped and when you finally stop fighting these thoughts and realize that they are not you, but products of your anxious imagination, you will be set free. Jesus did not come to feign anxiety upon you. Jesus said that He has come to set us free, and if the Spirit makes you free you are free indeed.

Here are verses in my mind for you that I have been telling myself this week. Emphasis mine

In nothing be anxious. Philemon 4:4

Cast ALL your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:35 (some omitted)

When I was hurting very badly from scrupulosity, this webpage helped me a great deal. Read it. I know it's long but just read bits at a time and pray God will help you get through this dark time. http://www.net-burst.net/guilty/scrupulosity.htm he talks about blasphemous thoughts and guilt feelings which are hallmarks of the affliction.

Please, do not stop here. Start digging out of this.There is hope! I pray you begin to understand what I wrote and begin your journey to healing with God by your side. He is not your enemy. He does not hate you!!! You MUST believe me when I say that. I used to feel like God hated me for my bad thoughts--I didn't even know the truth back then. Don't let this destroy you. There is a way out, with God's help.

 

[Victoryismine]

Exactly. Victoryismine, you really need to learn about scrupulosity and realize that the thoughts you are getting, as real and scary as they seem, are not intentionally coming from you. This is not the real you. God knows that. He does not want you to suffer in this way. I know because I went through the same thing when I was a teenager. I would get horrible thoughts towards the Holy Spirit and thought I had lost my salvation and condemned myself. I would suffer from horrible anxiety and dread every single day. It was a literal hell living this way and now I suffer mild health issues from the constant stress all of that brought upon me, and I am only 22 years old. This stress is not good for you, not mentally and definitely not physically. You are worn out. If you think you can muster the strength, and if you agree that this may be your problem, think about reaching out for help with this. If you don't think you can do that, you owe it to yourself to research OCD religious thoughts and scrupuloisty and learn that these thoughts are not you, but due to faulty wiring and an anxiety issue. The more you get fired up over this, the stronger the thoughts will get and the harder you will be hit by them. OCD can be helped and when you finally stop fighting these thoughts and realize that they are not you, but products of your anxious imagination, you will be set free. Jesus did not come to feign anxiety upon you. Jesus said that He has come to set us free, and if the Spirit makes you free you are free indeed.

Here are verses in my mind for you that I have been telling myself this week. Emphasis mine

In nothing be anxious. Philemon 4:4

Cast ALL your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:35 (some omitted)

When I was hurting very badly from scrupulosity, this webpage helped me a great deal. Read it. I know it's long but just read bits at a time and pray God will help you get through this dark time. http://www.net-burst.net/guilty/scrupulosity.htm he talks about blasphemous thoughts and guilt feelings which are hallmarks of the affliction.

Please, do not stop here. Start digging out of this.There is hope! I pray you begin to understand what I wrote and begin your journey to healing with God by your side. He is not your enemy. He does not hate you!!! You MUST believe me when I say that. I used to feel like God hated me for my bad thoughts--I didn't even know the truth back then. Don't let this destroy you. There is a way out, with God's help.

@pinkjess
GOd bless you so much wow thank you for helping me realise that I may not be alone. I still have anxiety I feel like God is going to kill me or let something bad happen to me and I'm literally terrified and it makes me angry with God and I really really don't want to feel this way. Can I please privatly message you. You are truly amazing and I feel like you can help me restore some sort of peace with the help of God.
God bless you so so much thankyou xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Victoryismine]

@Catherineanne l currently go CBT therapy which is a little helpful but I feel like it's not right because there not Christian there and I feel like the advice they give me might not be correct or please God which frustrates me thank you so much God bless you xx

 

[Cloture]

Victoryismine, let me just add, you are not the first person who has gone through this type of problem. Many innocent people have been downright assaulted by hours of their mind repeating bad thoughts. It can be a mental illness situation, as Cath described, it can be an attack from the enemy, or it could be any combination of the two.

The chemicals and synapses in our brain can betray us. Just as people with Tourette syndrome can't control muscle activity, some of us struggle to control brain activity.

Many people have faced this. With some counseling and sometimes medication, they found healing. Do some online research on testimonies about Christians who got healing from blasphemous thoughts. It will offer hope.

As long as your true self cries out to God, you are not a lost cause. Clearly you came here seeking help because God is enabling you to seek Him. He knows when we're being sabotaged. He's seen this before. Let Him help you.

 

[Victoryismine]

@Cloture Hello, I am currently attending CBT therapy sessions but have not been a while. I feel like it's not good enough because it's not Christian based so I sometimes think is this what God really thinks and what's me to do?? I'm so afraid of what God can do to me I'm terrified and it makes me feel like God is always attacking me which I know is not true but I feel like he sends me death signs when I'm sinning which scares me.
God bless you xx

 

[4x4toy]

We're to take every thought captive (II Cor 10:5) and renew our minds with His Word (Rom 12:2). So when the bad thoughts come, encourage you to replace them immediately with Scriptures that are meaningful to you such as:
- Yahweh loves you with an everlasting love (John 3:16-17, Jer 31)
-"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer 29:11).
-"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth (3 John 1:2)
-Yahweh thinks about you more than the grains of sand (Psa 139:17-18),
-"Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, (II Thess 2:16)."
- "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psa 27:1

I agree , I went through mental torment a long time ago .. Almost minute by minute .. I had so much fear .. I was afraid but started seeking God like never before , for the first time started to church every time the doors were open , rebuking bad thoughts constantly , quite a battle .. Little by little I began to get control and after 6 or 7 months realized one day I was over it and felt a lot closer to God .. I've run across a few folks the same way and they were relieved to know they weren't the only ones to battle such things ..
"My people perish for lack of knowledge" God is good and you know this , so now be convinced in your own mind and fight for it .. Work out you salvation with fear and trembling .. You are going to be fine .. With Jesus ,the devil doesn't have a leg to stand on ..

 

[Purge187]

Too lazy to skim through the entire thread, but it's my experience that blasphemous thoughts can come to those who are convinced that they've committed the Unpardonable Sin. If that's the case, remember the rule of thumb: if you're worried about whether or not you've committed it, then odds are good you didn't.

Aside from that, blasphemous thoughts are not a sign that God is angry with you. Martin Luther had compulsive thoughts about Satan's rear end. (Yes, seriously.)

 

[pinkjess]

@pinkjess
GOd bless you so much wow thank you for helping me realise that I may not be alone. I still have anxiety I feel like God is going to kill me or let something bad happen to me and I'm literally terrified and it makes me angry with God and I really really don't want to feel this way. Can I please privatly message you. You are truly amazing and I feel like you can help me restore some sort of peace with the help of God.
God bless you so so much thankyou xxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes of course you can PM me anytime! I would love to help any way I can!!

 

[Victoryismine]

@pinkjess how do I pm you?? Sorry I a very new to this website Xxx

 

[Catherineanne]

@Catherineanne l currently go CBT therapy which is a little helpful but I feel like it's not right because there not Christian there and I feel like the advice they give me might not be correct or please God which frustrates me thank you so much God bless you xx

I can assure you that God is fully in control of your therapy, whether it is a Christian running it or not; small details like that don't bother the Lord one little bit.

If you don't believe this then your God is too small. Think bigger; he has you safely in his hands, so let the doctors that he has provided for you do the work that he has sent them to do on his behalf.

 

[Catherineanne]

@Cloture Hello, I am currently attending CBT therapy sessions but have not been a while. I feel like it's not good enough because it's not Christian based so I sometimes think is this what God really thinks and what's me to do?? I'm so afraid of what God can do to me I'm terrified and it makes me feel like God is always attacking me which I know is not true but I feel like he sends me death signs when I'm sinning which scares me.
God bless you xx

Go back to therapy.

God is stronger than unbelief; he will use it to help you.

 

[tturt]

I'm never seen an exception listed in Scripture. Could you please post where it says to ignore a Scripture if there's a medical condition involved?

My testimony is the same as 4x4toy's, post 33. I'm NOT against doctors though. Yeshua said for the sick to see doctors (Matt 9:12). Since He was healing, it means it's not either or.

 

[Catherineanne]

I'm never seen an exception listed in Scripture. Could you please post where it says to ignore a Scripture if there's a medical condition involved?

My testimony is the same as 4x4toy's, post 33. I'm NOT against doctors though. Yeshua said for the sick to see doctors (Matt 9:12). Since He was healing, it means it's not either or.

I did not ever say either or. I said doctors are sent by God to treat illness, and we should use them in that context. Christians may, and of course will, pray as well. But to use prayer and ignore medicine and everything it has to offer is misguided at best, and plain dangerous at worst.

Scripture is fine, but NOT as an alternative to proper medical care. In this thread it has been suggested as all that is needed. That is not the case.