Honest opinion needed

[Vernieb]

I'm pregnant with my 3rd child. I have a stepdaughter whose name starts with a "C" and then my son and daughter whose name starts with an "M". My husband and I can't agree on a name at this point. At first we thought we would stick with the "M" theme, but can't really come up with anything we love. Now he wants to name the baby a name very similar to my stepdaughter's name, and says that it would be more fair to her since the other two have "M" names. This kind of makes me mad, b/c I didn't pick out my stepdaughter's name her mother did, so why would I name this child after her? Am I being jealous and petty or is this a normal response?

 

[Dave-W]

Sounds normal to me.

 

[Odetta]

I think that's sad. You sound like you resent your step-daughter's existence.

Disclaimer: I am a step-daughter to two people. One was welcoming of me, the other not. From experience, I can san that is hurtful to a step-child to be pushed aside as not fully part of the family.

 

[Sabertooth]

A couple of things to consider:

• Who named your step-daughter, her mother or her father? If the latter, her name reflects on your husband, not his estranged wife. If they both arrived at that name for entirely different reasons, the same consideration applies.* (It is only if her mom chose the name and he just accepted it that your rationale stands up.)
• If the first is true, it's fair that he would like a complementary name.
• Do you object to your step-daughter's name, or just the (perceived) source of her name?
• If your SD wasn't the source of your husband's name preference, would you still object to it?
• He divorced his wife, not his daughter; they are a packaged deal.

*My dad's best friend growing up was named Larry and my mom had a stillborn brother named Lawrence. For two completely different reasons, my name was almost a foregone conclusion.

 

[barisvesevgi]

Just pray about it. There really is no reason to argue or get upset about a name. Too bad the child can't pick their own name at birth. If you both insist on getting your way with the name but can't come to a solution, flip a coin. Even better, let your other children in on baby name ideas. Most importantly, keep the thoughts focused on the fact that you are going to welcome, into the world, a new beautiful child. Nothing else matters in my opinion.

 

[Dave-W]

I knew a family growing up where the parents gave each child the same initials: RDT

Rita Diane
Rickey David
Ramona Derotha
Rocky Dale
Rhonda Daisy

 

[pursuetruth]

I think you should totally throw the "M" idea out the window, since you both don't even like any of the "M" names.
There are so many other letters to choose from, feel the freedom to do so.

 

[akmom]

It doesn't matter why you resent the name. If you don't like it, don't use it. You are the mother. It is your right to name your baby. Preferably choose something that your husband also likes, but not if he is just stubborn and decides "I like this and nothing else." I always brainstormed a list of names I definitely liked and had my husband choose from that list. Children in the Bible were always named by their MOTHERS, if I recall. Wasn't John the Baptist the only exception?