Helping my children understand

[Mariana B]

my husband and I only recently became Christians. My mum became a Christian five years ago and we followed recently.
Now my children are growing up in the church I would like them to understand why I think it's important to wait to have sex until they are married.
I know I never did and I regret it.
But how do you get this message across to your children when they are old enough?

 

[faroukfarouk]

my husband and I only recently became Christians. My mum became a Christian five years ago and we followed recently.
Now my children are growing up in the church I would like them to understand why I think it's important to wait to have sex until they are married.
I know I never did and I regret it.
But how do you get this message across to your children when they are old enough?

Here's a clue as to your own challenge: your mom, whom you mention, would probably edit her thoughts about her own life before you were born (and I know nothing of her life, of course).

I guess in a sense this is what the sufficiency of the Scriptures is all about, from one particular angle.

 

[Mariana B]

Here's a clue as to your own challenge: your mom, whom you mention, would probably edit her thoughts about her own life before you were born (and I know nothing of her life, of course).

I guess in a sense this is what the sufficiency of the Scriptures is all about, from one particular angle.

I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean

 

[faroukfarouk]

I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean

What I meant was that moms are sometimes reluctant to talk to their children about some aspects of their lives before their children were born, and that it's often best to stick to what the Bible says.

 

[Mariana B]

What I meant was that moms are sometimes reluctant to talk to their children about some aspects of their lives before their children were born, and that it's often best to stick to what the Bible says.

Agreed

 

[Johnnz]

Are you comfortable talking about sex with them? Apart from "The bible says...." What supporting reasons do you have that you you have adopted now? And how are they to manage their hormonally activated sex drive while waiting?

John
NZ

 

[Mariana B]

Are you comfortable talking about sex with them? Apart from "The bible says...." What supporting reasons do you have that you you have adopted now? And how are they to manage their hormonally activated sex drive while waiting?

John
NZ

I have no idea. I only became a Christian recently so I can only talk from past mistakes that I wish I had waited.
They are still very young but I'm very anxious about them growing up and making the same mistakes as me

 

[Johnnz]

Modern children are challenged to think. They will require thoughtful, sensible information about sex in general, their owns sexuality (e.g. feelings, reactions, interests) and the moral considerations that Christian belief entails. Many parents remain uncomfortable about sex and that will inhibit the openness and frankness that is necessary for developing children to healthily incorporate their sexuality into their lives.

Sectors of the Christian community are less than comfortable with sexual issues and often resort to moralisms (Don't), fear (STD's Hell), and elevating sexual sins above many others. Non eof that will give a healthy, well balanced understanding of sex.

John
NZ

 

[Mariana B]

Modern children are challenged to think. They will require thoughtful, sensible information about sex in general, their owns sexuality (e.g. feelings, reactions, interests) and the moral considerations that Christian belief entails. Many parents remain uncomfortable about sex and that will inhibit the openness and frankness that is necessary for developing children to healthily incorporate their sexuality into their lives.

Sectors of the Christian community are less than comfortable with sexual issues and often resort to moralisms (Don't), fear (STD's Hell), and elevating sexual sins above many others. Non eof that will give a healthy, well balanced understanding of sex.

John
NZ

Interesting. I'll keep this in mind. I suppose I'll probably just have to have a sensible talk with them when they are old enough.
I'm just terrified of teenage pregnancies. Having a little girl now it's making me think a lot. Although I have two boys also.
I just hope I bring up good sensible children.

 

[Dave-W]

Sectors of the Christian community are less than comfortable with sexual issues and often resort to moralisms (Don't), fear (STD's Hell), and elevating sexual sins above many others. None of that will give a healthy, well balanced understanding of sex.

Well, that goes WAAAAAYYYYY back to the early church fathers. Origen, Jerome, Augustine and others all hated sex of any kind and idolized virginity.

More recently, the Holiness culture, plus the teachings of Bill Gothard and Joshua Harris have denied that there is a hormonal component to the sex drive and put it all on "immoral images and thoughts" of the young person. IMO the reason moralisms are resorted to is that giving honest information may lead to the parents having to explain own struggles; (which they may still feel guilty for) and think their kids will use that as an excuse to sin.

IMO it is better to be honest up front; be medically accurate, and discuss those hormonal feelings and needs.

 

[qpmomma13]

I waited until I was married to have sex, my husband did not. We have 2 different testimonies to share with our child when she is old enough. I want my child to know sex is normal and healthy. You need it in your marriage to keep it strong. However, I also understand that sometimes mistakes will happen, which is why I will also teach her about safe sex (birth control, STDs, condoms, ect). If she does choose to have sex outside of marriage I want her protected as much as possible. I think the worst thing we can do is claim it doesn't happen and turn a blind eye to it. Be honest and upfront about sex. Denying what your teen or pre-teen is feeling is a bad way to go. This is just my opinion.

 

[Dave-W]

Denying what your teen or pre-teen is feeling is a bad way to go. This is just my opinion.

Quite right. Those feelings can be awfully intense. And without parental guidance on them, they can get the idea they are the only one to feel like that; which makes them a target for devilish condemnation.