Help I'm divorced.

[Mjb048]

Hello, I apologize if this is in the wrong area of the forums i wasn't sure where to post this.

I'm currently divorced. I was deployed to S. Korea for a year and when I came back, on the second day, my ex wife confessed to have fallen in love with a woman. I don't believe she cheated on me during that time but I was devastated and was having a back slide with God and I didn't handle it well. I wasn't the husband she needed me to be, and even though she fell in love with someone else I can't shake the feeling that she still wanted to be with me.. but how could she allow herself to do that? I was gone for that whole year too you know?! Later on after being separated for a couple months I initiated the divorce and February of 2016 it was finalized. My problem is: Am I allowed to find someone to marry? Am I sinning against God if I do? I don't want to spend the rest of my life without someone. It took awhile to forgive her and even longer to forgive myself and God is working in my heart again.. I just need to know.

 

[Hallstone]

Hello, I apologize if this is in the wrong area of the forums i wasn't sure where to post this.

I'm currently divorced. I was deployed to S. Korea for a year and when I came back, on the second day, my ex wife confessed to have fallen in love with a woman. I don't believe she cheated on me during that time but I was devastated and was having a back slide with God and I didn't handle it well. I wasn't the husband she needed me to be, and even though she fell in love with someone else I can't shake the feeling that she still wanted to be with me.. but how could she allow herself to do that? I was gone for that whole year too you know?! Later on after being separated for a couple months I initiated the divorce and February of 2016 it was finalized. My problem is: Am I allowed to find someone to marry? Am I sinning against God if I do? I don't want to spend the rest of my life without someone. It took awhile to forgive her and even longer to forgive myself and God is working in my heart again.. I just need to know.

If she was willing to repent and stay with you, why would you divorce her? Was she willing to repent of that immorality?

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Personally I don't believe in divorce under any circumstances. But I'll avoid the long rant about it.

I would see if she would repent (as said above) and stay with you. But I would ask her when/why she fell for a woman. Because for some its hard enough trusting a woman who cheated with a man when you see them talking to another man. But when she cheats with a woman, you may be cautious to about woman she hangs with. Is she christian?

 

[Mjb048]

If she was willing to repent and stay with you, why would you divorce her? Was she willing to repent of that immorality?

I didn't ask but when we separated she didn't seem inclined to work it out. Saying that "she's happy now", I've expressed my feelings to her and a part of me hopes that she'll turn from her ways and I've expressed my concern to her as well, in regards to the homosexuality, in hope that she'll come back to Christ and to me. She however took it as I was throwing her homosexuality in her face rather then the loving concern I was going for. Her and I don't talk anymore and she's still with the other woman. As for her being Christian, she claimed to be. However I cannot gauge where her relationship with Christ is now.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Ok. Short not long.
No , Biblically, until she dies, you cannot marry anyone else, and should not even be looking.
You might have already sinned by initiating the divorce; but YHWH is the ONE WHO KNOWS, not us here on the huge worldwide public forum.
The BIBLE is clear, but all the various religions will give you any answer you want if you just look for it. (Actually, many have already posts on this forum/site , so you can find the answer you want somewhere here IF you choose to do that (I do not advise it: Instead do this: stick/adhere to Scripture FOR LIFE) ) YHWH does know everything, and HE is the ONE TO SEEK.

Am I allowed to find someone to marry? Am I sinning against God if I do?

 

[Greg J.]

If there is someone, such as a pastor, that knows both of you, you should talk to him about it. The details may make a difference (her and your behavior, attitude, faith, etc.).

I'll mention that I can see that people involved in this probably have different ideas of what a Christian is. Specifically, you, your ex-wife, and forum commenters probably have different definitions, so it might be useful to identify what that means to you so you can make reference to that instead of using the word when discussion faith-related matters.

A short version of what Christian means in the Bible is someone who is a follower of Christ who believes the God of the Bible is real and Jesus, the Son, died to pay for his/her sins and be forgiven, and she has accepted him as her God and Lord. (Lord: the One who has the right to tell her what is right and wrong and hold her accountable for her words and actions.) All that wording is an attempt to describe the meaning of the Scriptural use of the word believe in John 3:16.

 

[Hallstone]

I didn't ask but when we separated she didn't seem inclined to work it out. Saying that "she's happy now", I've expressed my feelings to her and a part of me hopes that she'll turn from her ways and I've expressed my concern to her as well, in regards to the homosexuality, in hope that she'll come back to Christ and to me. She however took it as I was throwing her homosexuality in her face rather then the loving concern I was going for. Her and I don't talk anymore and she's still with the other woman. As for her being Christian, she claimed to be. However I cannot gauge where her relationship with Christ is now.

If she is unwilling to repent from immorality then your divorce is sanctioned according to Christ's word, and you would be authorized to add on another wife, the fact that marriage is permanent creates the logic in this subject, if you get married to someone else it would be OK, nevertheless you will have two wives, one that you live with and support and one that you don't, and her demise is of her own doing, which if she knew the truth of her situation she would not have done so wickedly. But since she chose her situation you will not be held responsible for her demise, because even if she repented, she would have to remain alone because she is your wife until you are dead. people have no idea how serious this subject is, and if you do choose to marry someone else, I hope you will choose a person that has the Spirit of God in their heart. you will be able to tell if they do if they understand and practice this logic, which is sound teaching.

 

[dayhiker]

When one knows what the bill of divorcement stated in Jesus' time, then its clear you can remarry.
From a positive view, Jesus asks us to love and tells us love fulfills he law. So you are never sinning when you are loving.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Yes, even then they were getting divorces, due to the hardness of their hearts.
Divorce is still hated by YHWH.
"DOing" it is not advisable [is forbidden] unless unfaithfulness occurs DURING ENGAGEMENT PERIOD, before actual wedding night and oneness occurs.

When one knows what the bill of divorcement stated in Jesus' time, then its clear you can remarry.

 

[ken777]

Matthew 19:9 permits a husband to divorce his wife for sexual immorality. It does not prohibit him from remarrying.

A husband who divorces his wife and marries another, is committing adultery. However, if his wife is guilty of sexual immorality, he can divorce her and marry another.

 

[Celestial Warrior]

Hello, I apologize if this is in the wrong area of the forums i wasn't sure where to post this.

I'm currently divorced. I was deployed to S. Korea for a year and when I came back, on the second day, my ex wife confessed to have fallen in love with a woman. I don't believe she cheated on me during that time but I was devastated and was having a back slide with God and I didn't handle it well. I wasn't the husband she needed me to be, and even though she fell in love with someone else I can't shake the feeling that she still wanted to be with me.. but how could she allow herself to do that? I was gone for that whole year too you know?! Later on after being separated for a couple months I initiated the divorce and February of 2016 it was finalized. My problem is: Am I allowed to find someone to marry? Am I sinning against God if I do? I don't want to spend the rest of my life without someone. It took awhile to forgive her and even longer to forgive myself and God is working in my heart again.. I just need to know.

She committed Adultery in her heart and although you don't know for sure if she had relations with this woman, she committed adultery spiritually. So divorce was the right route only in this case and for this reason.
Mat 5:27 ¶ Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart


Mat 5:31 ¶ It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

You can remarry, but should only court another woman and wait until marriage to have relations - This would be acceptable to the Lord Jesus and our Heavenly Father.