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HELP... How to deal with a foot fetish :(

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by adj1988, Jul 14, 2009.

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  1. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    Hello,

    I'm 19 years old. I've been a Christian since I was a kid. My whole family serves at church including me. There is this thing that makes me like girl's feet. I just don't know why I like them, I just do since I was young. I love the whole women body but there's this odd thing for feet as I said. I haven't told ANYONE about this before, but it's really damaging my relationship with God because lustful images come to my mind when I see a nice girl in flip flops, which is really common anywhere.

    I've tried to quit it by myself. But I last like 1 month without looking at them but I go back. I've tried asking God for help but it ain't working. I'm really ashamed of this thing I had. I just wish it was that easy to quit but I feel like there's a part of my brain that won't change no matter how hard I try. I've tried fasting and praying but it only lasts a few weeks before my eyes betray me.

    I've felt the supernatural power of God in my life before, but this thing is giving me a hard time. And no, I won't talk to anyone I know about it... it's really embarassing... :eek:
     
  2. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    Friend,

    We'll... just be glad you don't have a fetish for some otherthings. :) It could be alot worse. I recommend you simply try to control yourself just as you do at all other times and one day when you find a woman, love those feet! There is nothing wrong with that. :)
    I have dealt with similair issues and you are right... its hard to change that sort of thing about yourself... I am not sure you can. Maybe you can't change it, but you can live as a christian and under his grace and love be saved and one day find a woman who loves you and then the marriage bed is holy. Its alright. Really don't hate yourself over this, its counterproductive. :)
     
  3. wonderwaleye

    wonderwaleye New Member Supporter

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    While I really can't help you with that at this time, I can tell you if you are going to be part of the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD you MUST GIVE IT ALL TO GOD.


    GOD demands that you give HIM your WHOLE heart, mind, strength, and soul. That means you go in prayer and tell GOD that you will do this and from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. After this is complete GOD will know. For HE searches the heart. HE will then send HIS HOLY SPIRIT ( ANOINTED-BORN AGAIN- SAVED ). For it is then that you shall receive the MISSION GOD has for just you and supply all your needs, even what you have not the ability to have.




    Pick up GOD'S ROAD MAP to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD ( BIBLE ) and start reading the NEW TESTIMENT till the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then it's locked in your heart to draw from for the rest of your life. You will NEVER be sorry you did.


    Maybe when this is complete that problem will disappear.




    Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and Start right now!!!


    LOVE


    steven :hug:
     
  4. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    I want to believe what you're saying brother... the point is that I can't picture myself married and not checking out a hot girl when shen passes by and that's adultery... I'm checking out girls feet now (cuz they're visible most of the time) and I even think that has more troubles than just lust... I


    Mathew 5:29

    29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

    I'm in despair man, I need to change before it gets too late... I've been trying to change it for years even though I'm just 19....
     
  5. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    Thanks for your answer Steven. You see, the thing is that I've already prayed about it a zillion of times. I've made promises to God that I think that I can keep but my body betrays me. I've cried in his presence asking for help and I actually believed that I had overcame it, but all progress goes away in a couple of weeks. The desires of the flesh are really dangerous, besides... my hormones are crazy cuz I'm a young man.

    You see, about reading the bible... I do read it, at least three times a week. But I stop reading it cuz I feel as an hypocrite because I keep falling onto the same sin. Sexual desires are not easy to change... I mean, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if I only didn't liked girls feet cuz that part is really visible. It's like having another guy watch all girls through his eyes with their favourite bodypart naked... its easier to sin... I don't want to have this burden anymore, I don't like what I've turned myself into. I didn't chose to have this...
     
  6. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    Well you'll grow and change, that will happen, in 2, 3, 4, 5 years you will not be the person you are today, so don't doubt yourself. You need to believe in yourself. The road to be on is "This is where I'm going becuase this is where I want to be" not "I have to do this even though its not what I want, becuase I don't think I can do anything else, im a failure..."

    You will grow as a christian, you will grow as a person, being a boyfriend, a husband a father will change you more than you know. You can do it. Things change. The desires inside you will change as well. Things will mellow out and some things will flame up.
    Also, I can't really speak for this specific fetish but I am sure you aren't going to let some feet rob you from a beautiful life, a beautiful marriage, a beautiful life with Christ.
    Hey... find a woman with beautiful feet, then all you need is right there for you. Ya know? That is an option you know? That your wife will have beautiful feet too... and then your done, problem solved. All you'll need is at home. Ya know man? please don't think im being silly or sarcastic, I do know how this stuff works, my issues just didn't end up being as innocent as feet. hmmmph... your good man, go for the future that you want to have, not the one you think you can have. Find a woman with beautiful feet who doesn't mind and satisfy yourself as a married couple, i'm sure its out there for you.
    You would be surprised what changes when your married, people change, people accomodate, people strive to meet the needs of their partners, people listen and appreciate, they have compassion... you'll find a woman who will take care of you and all your needs one day. I'm sure of it. I'n the mean time...your not a freak. No where near so don't think that. You just need to control yourself, we all fall down, its no diffrent a person who can't stop lying. Also, Jesus is about grace.
     
  7. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    Hey! Dude... your not alone here, I've been dealing with this sort of thing just as long as you man I promise. It is hard, I know. But you can do it. You do the best you can, you strive to be holy and then Jesus takes care of the rest. It will never be any diffrent. Also, i think your a bit unaware of how your future marriage will be. Things change when you have a woman who meets your needs because she knows and she wants to meet them, and things change with age, I promise. Don't intensify the situation to where you aren't happy with yourself unless your perfect, don't do that. God doesn't. Paul said men and women should marry lest they burn with lust. One day you will find a woman who will take care of you, the bible talks about this sort "due benevolence" in the marriage bed.
    1 cor 7:3-4
    "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."

    These are acts of kindness and love toward each other.
     
  8. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    I actually understand what you're saying. I've never thought of accepting that in me and worrying about things on a broader aspect. Finding someone that would accept me as I am... even though I don't want to be the same person I am now... Even though that you say that I should not feel as a freak, I do feel as one.

    I just have 2 options:
    1)Follow God forever and accept that I have a foot fetish
    2)Follow God forever and change this foot fetish thingie

    I actually like the second option better. I don't know how people would see me if they knew about it. The thing is that changing a sexual desire is extremely difficult. Don't get me wrong here but it's like saying to a homosexual guy to stop being homosexual with God's help. Well, anything is possible for Him, so I'll put my faith in God.

    Thanks for helping man, you have no idea how it is to finally talk to someone about this... someone with God's fear. Thanks.
     
  9. wonderwaleye

    wonderwaleye New Member Supporter

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    You must understand you are a babe in CHRIST. You are no different than a child that first learns to walk. They start on their belly, next they learn to turn over, next they start crawling, next they try to stand but fall many times, and next they start walking falling many times till they have it under control. BUT they never doubted that they would walk and kept trying.


    It is the same walking up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD. You will first feed on the MILK that is in GOD'S WORD. If you keep on the path, after the MILK comes the REAL FOOD that comes from GOD HIMSELF.




    GOD will deal with your problem if you just keep walking up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD.




    LOVE



    steven :hug:
     
  10. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    well i think you have 3rd option,

    3. follow God forever and strive for the mark.

    See thats the problem with us extremists... its all or nothing, all this or all that, perfection or nothing at all, perfect or complete failure...and the world just doesn't work that way, Jesus doesn't work that way, when has he ever required such things of you? He didn't when you got saved, and he doesn't to keep on loving you. We all fall down, and salvation is a work of grace. there is a middle road, that we fall into, a nonperfect saved by grace one and we strive for the mark. If you overcome, great! if you fall down... its ok, God still loves you and accepts you, we are all a work in progress.

    If you want to stop the whole thing, then great. A drive to be holy before God is right, the ability to let nothing have control of you and cause you to sin is right. Your also right...it is extremely hard to change desires such as this. You did not choose to put this desire within yourself...and you cannot choose to make it go away. It will take God and also alot of time and effort on your part. For one, you need to try to stop gratifying yourself with it, stop wallowing in it if you do. the longer you go without it, starving yourself it, it will hurt but it will become more normal and workable to say no. It takes practice and time. Do not expect for a miraculous one night event of "deliverace". You have to look at were you want to go, and start walking... it will take time, hardship, strength and resolve.

    Honestly what helps me is when I go into these fits of desire I just try to calm down, and say to myself "Is this it...is then when I fail...is this when I turn back...is this when I break my word to my wife (really emotional and important to me), is this when I forfeit all ive worked for" and as I'm calming down and remembering all else that is important to me... it gets easier. and over time, you become more accustomed to the shock of not having it. It will get easier man.
     
  11. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    no problem, take care of yourself.
     
  12. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    I'd rather stay with the radical way. Even if its hard, it's the best option. Hey man, another question from man to man.... when you see a really hot girl do you check her out? (more than once if you know what I mean). I mean, almost anybody at my age does that but most of them aren't christian. The point is... have you stopped forever doing that? I'll work on that for when I get married. It's hard for me to imagine more than 50 years of marriage of never doing this.
     
  13. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    Thanks man! I just need more consistency and time with Him.
     
  14. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    It's something you have to work on and keep working on but it gets easier and as you get older and mature, in 4 or 5 years you wont be the person you are today. Does the thought cross my mind? Sure it does. It's something you get better at over time, and you will. We all fall down and its ok.
     
  15. adj1988

    adj1988 New Member

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    That's what I expected. God bless you brother, thanks for everything.
     
  16. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

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    I certianly do make those sort of mistakes, honestly it doesn't happen all the time, there is a diffrence between turning to see whats in the corner of your eye and choosing to look again and stare. Looking and choosing to enjoy yourself with it are two diffrent things. I do have the strength to not do the later of those. :) I hope all goes well for you. Take care. Holla if ya need anything.
     
  17. Ric von Hemal

    Ric von Hemal Newbie

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    Even to this day, I have to MAKE myself turn away from staring at a woman's breasts... it's like the first thing my eyes lock onto! Even with my wife at my side!!! In time I've come to be aware of this issue, and now when I "lock on", I consciously "unlock", and in my spirit I give God kudos for a job well done. Of all people, a SISTER in Christ told me about "bouncing eyes"... When your eyes go there, let their momentum carry them on past what you shouldn't be looking at. Aldar gives you some good advice, too.

    Truth be told... once you get married, your wife is gonna LOVE you! Once you get the default lock-on under control, I'd suggest that you learn foot massage techniques... turn this "fetish" into a heartfelt display of love and adoration for your bride when she comes in from a long day at work.
     
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